Fade Betray Me
"I love you, and nothing will ever change that." Cullen Rutherford held his love's delicate hands in his, feeling warmth, affection, and happiness.
She loved him back. She was his.
His.
IXI
The Fade is an ethereal place, a place of pure magic, and pure fear to those who do not belong. Cullen did not belong in the Fade, he could feel the wrongness in his bones.
"You've never been here before I assume?" Fenris walked cautiously beside him. Fenris hated magic all together, but because of his friendship to Hawke, he had ventured into the Fade before.
"Not by my own will, not like this…" Cullen recalled a memory of torture. Imprisonment by demons within his own mind.
"I see…" Fenris did not venture further, he was not one to pry.
The two men made an odd pair walking through the Fade. Their steps echoed eerily, causing ripples to shimmer in unseen walls.
This time, the ripples shimmered back changing the scene around the two magic-wary men.
"What's going on?!" Cullen yelled out to Fenris.
"A demon," Fenris spat and pointed ahead.
"My, my, my," a horrific yet beautiful image appeared in front of the men. Her purple skin glowed with the magic that surrounded her, the shimmers clung to her body like veins. Although she resembled a women, her devil horns and goat feet revealed her true nature.
She stood before them, naked and full of desire, of lust.
Immediately Cullen and Fenris charged at the desire demon but with one flick of her wrist they were sent sailing backwards, until invisible chains imprisoned them standing up.
"You didn't think it would be that easy, did you?" The demon laughed, throwing her head back in delight.
"Fenhedis!" Fenris growled at the demon, "Release us at once!"
"Oh but you are what brought me here!" The demon smiled with feverish excitement, "You feel it too. Your desire. It's so strong! How could you not? So delicious...you would give me so much power," The demon broke out into laughter once again, unable to control herself.
Fenris looked over to Cullen in confusion, "I don't what you speak of demon, but I have no desire for you to prey upon."
The demon only laughed more hysterically at his comment, after finally gaining her composure she turned to Fenris, "No desire? No lust? Nothing? I disagree."
She turned away from him, transforming herself into woman. Slowly turning back to Fenris she revealed the identity she had stolen from Fenris's mind.
Fenris's heart stopped. It was her. Her violet eyes and rich dark hair. She was wrapped in tight clothes, revealing her voluptuous body.
No! It's not her, don't get distracted. It's not her!
Cullen couldn't see what Fenris saw, the demon's magic had not altered his mind.
"Fenris," she said meekly, her voice a perfect imitation.
Fenris's heart sped up, he felt like he was going to throw up so many feelings rushed through his brain. But one stood out the most. His...feelings. His...desire.
She approached him slowly, wrapping her arms around his neck so that they were only inches apart. He could smell her, it was intoxicating pleasure.
He could feel warmth pooling below him. No, no it's not her! Everything in his body screamed at him, it tore him apart.
She playfully nipped at his neck sending shudders throughout his body, "Fenris~" she sang. He couldn't breath, it was too much. Everything inside him wanted this woman.
Suddenly, he threw himself away from her as much as his constraints would let him. He was panting, gasping for breath.
She frowned, "You don't want me?" She gestured to her body, "You don't want this?" She started unlacing the top of her blouse.
"Not like this...please! Stop! I'm begging you!" Fenris screamed in agony, his mind and body was on fire.
All the while in the background Cullen's muffled frantic voice was trying to get through to Fenris. Cullen couldn't see what Fenris saw...if he knew…
Her blouse had fallen, making Fenris's heart explode. She seductively walked back to him, not letting him look away. She wrapped her body around his, waiting for his response.
The demon was so sure he would break, she could feel his desire. In all of the ages she had lived she had never seen lust quite like this. In her own way, she was enjoying it too, feeding off of his desire. It was exciting like nothing before.
But he wouldn't break.
She lifted her head to meet his eyes. He was in blissful agony. One more push...
"Fenris," she moaned, she gave him a serious yet seductive expression, "Kiss me." Her lips were only an inch from his, it would be so easy...
No! This isn't what he wanted...he knew he could never have her. She wasn't his. Not his.
"Not...yours?" She pulled away from him, "Not yours?" She cocked her head to the side contemplating. An idea sprung to her mind. She smiled devilishly, "No...it couldn't be…" Her eyes widened in giddiness.
She turned wildly to Cullen violently invading his mind for memories, "IT'S SO DELICIOUS!" Her maniacal laughter rising again.
"Do you want to see?" She yelled to Cullen, "Do you want to know who it is your friend wants so badly?!"
The magic that drowned Fenris's mind plunged into Cullen's.
"No!" Cullen shouted, "Get out of her!" An imposter of his love stood before him...naked from the waist up and shivering in excitement.
He turned with shocked, crazy eyes, "How could you?!" he screamed at Fenris.
Shame. Guilt. Regret. These feelings squeezed around Fenris's heart now that the brunt of the demon's magic was temporarily gone, "I…" he tried to form an apology but no words could describe the absolute sorrow.
He was going to love her quietly. No one needed to know. Not even himself. But now he could never go back...everything would change.
"I find that unrequited love is the most...consuming." The demon stared straight into Cullen's soul, captivating him for a moment. But Cullen's will was stronger. He knew this illusion of a woman in front of him was not his love. The demon could not control his desire against him.
"Hmmm, unsuppressed desire is so tasteless." She frowned in discontent at her appetizing meal, "But betrayal on the other hand...hatred is a form of lust too…"she whispered in his ear, "just as passionate and consuming."
"I wasn't going to tell you this but...I have your little dove here too. Do you know the name she screams in pure ecstasy? The name she wants so badly?"
"FENRIS!" The demon cried out in happiness and pleasure, imitating her voice.
Fenris was shocked, and appalled, and elated at his name. His heart twisted and jumped and carved itself inside out.
Cullen couldn't comprehend the amount of betrayal. His furry stuck on his face unwilling to believe the demon's words.
"I will kill you, you bitch!" Cullen broke free of the chains with a force only a templar could create.
"Wha-?!"
Cullen tackled the surprised demon, breaking her illusion. Before the demon could react he took his sword and plunged it deep into it's heart, "AHHH!" He screamed with a burst of energy.
All was still and silent. Their expressions frozen on their faces.
Cullen was seething, stilling reeling from his emotions. He turned to Fenris who had fallen from his chains into his knees, "You…"
"I am weak." Fenris's words came strangled out, "I am weak and I don't deserve her. I have betrayed your trust," he couldn't meet Cullen's eyes.
Cullen's furry died down without the help of the demon's magic to fuel it. "Do you love her?"
Fenris looked up, surprised at his question, "What?"
"Do you love her like I do? Can someone like you even love?" Cullen anger started to rise again, "You're disgusting! You're weak! If you have the audacity to try to stay by her side after this...I will kill you."
Fenris rose to his feet, "I know I may seem like an animal to you right now, but I do love her! You have no idea how feels to see the one you love be with another! I lied to myself, I hid those feelings for her sake and yours. But I love her...I love her," his voice broke in repetition of those words.
"You can't make her happy." Cullen spat at him, "She will never love you, someone as low as you. Get out of my sight!"
The Fade shifted around them once again, the demon's realm was falling apart and releasing it's hold on the prisoners. They were being sent back to their world.
IXI
Everyone woke up in makeshift beds around each other.
Cullen rushed over to his love making sure she was alright, "How do you feel?"
When their eyes met something changed, she was embarrassed...no she was guilty. Had the demon been telling the truth?
"I'm...Cullen there's something…" she looked up and saw Fenris staring at her from across the room. Fenris hurriedly looked away, gathered his things and rushed out the door.
She looked at Cullen who's eyes were full of sadness and back at the door, "Meet me later," she said to him before running out the door after Fenris.
So it was true? Cullen sat down, bracing himself for the emotions that followed. He ran his hands through his hair, pulling at it, hoping he was still in a dream.
"I love you, and nothing will ever change that," His own words mocked back at him, he remembered she had given her love back to him...at the time it seemed sincere but now...he felt like a fool.
"Andraste's ass!" He shouted and punched a wall, why couldn't she just be his?
IXI
"Fenris! Please Fenris wait!" She sprinted until she caught up to him.
"Look at me would you?" She grabbed his shoulder and turned him to face her.
His facial expression scared her, it was so full of passion and love, his feelings were unmasked and there was nothing he could do.
Just once. He thought to himself. He grabbed her hand and brought it to his heart so she could feel what he felt. He took a deep breath and let his lips fall upon her. He wanted her to feel everything he felt in this one kiss.
She was lost in the moment, forgetting everything about herself and her life. Clouded by her own desire she intensified the kiss, pulling their bodies closer together.
His lyrium markings lit up and tingled their skin, electrifying their entire bodies.
They could have stood there for eternity, unattune to time within each other's touch. But reality broke as their oxygen left them breathless.
They looked at each other like wild animals, the true wolf of Fenris had come alive. Then, his eyes softened, revealing his humane nature, "I love you. I can't hide it anymore. I don't care if you love me back or not, I just need to say it. I love you," He held her tight in an embrace.
"Fenris...we can't…" she whimpered. She wasn't his.
"I know…" he choked back his words, "Let me have this at least. Let me love you please."
She remained silent, finding comfort in his arms. A comfort she knew she wouldn't be able to have again.
IXI
They went their separate ways after that. It was hard, but without the pull of magic, Fenris could control himself. He made his way home, and she made her way back to Cullen.
Cullen was slumped over sitting lifeless on the bed, his emotions were drained. She carefully sat behind him and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him from behind, "I care about him but it's not what we have. I choose you."
He turned to face her directly, dried tears were streaked down his face, "I thought you left. I was so angry… and confused. I don't know what to think," he looked at her differently and it hurt her. Something between them had broken.
"I'm here. I'm here with you and I love you," she held his face in her hands.
He closed his eyes and let himself fall on her to rest. That was all he needed to know. He quickly fell asleep and she laid by his side, gazing at his expressionless face.
"I'm yours," she whispered into his ear before letting herself fall into the dreamworld.