The 'Slippery Slope' Affair

"Illya, come on. Keep those blue eyes open for me."

sigh

"There we go. That's better."

"I really am tired, you know."

"I know, chum. I know. It's that stuff they gave you. Just stay with me."

"I do not believe I was going anywhere. Or was I? Why is remembering so hard?"

"Easy, tovarich. Just another side effect. Don't let it worry you."

"Easy for you to say, Napoleon."

"Yes. I suppose it was. I'm not trying to make light of how you're feeling, but it will pass. Just so long as you stay awake."

"Why? Could I not just sleep it off?"

. . . . .

"Long pauses worry me."

"No - it's just your memory, okay? That stuff is going to affect it unless we keep you awake. If you fall asleep, you might lose everything."

"So? It will not work unless my brain becomes inactive? Is that it?"

"Well, I'm sure that's really oversimplifying things, but do you really want a long, drawn-out explanation right now?"

"I suppose not."

sigh

"Hey - none of that. You aren't slipping away from me that easily. Eyes back open."

"Slave driver."

"Like you haven't called me that before."

"Can I not just close them for a little while?"

"Was that a whine?"

"Do not be ridiculous. Russians do not whine. We brood."

"Sounded like a whine here."

"Then we must make a note to get your hearing checked when we leave - leave - where are we?"

"No memory loss on that one, tovarich. Our current location is kind of an unknown to me as well."

"Ah. Unfriendly territory then."

"You could say that."

"And did."

"So you did."

"You cannot reach to where I am, can you?"

"Sorry. No. Is there a problem?"

"No need to be a mother chicken. It is only a small concern."

"The phrase is 'mother hen'. How small?"

"Just cold. I cannot seem to move enough to adjust the blanket. It also seems to be getting darker and the air seems - I do not know how to describe it? Heavier?"

"You're alright. It has gotten colder and darker in here. Probably them trying to encourage you to go to sleep."

"Really?"

"Think so."

"Then a good reason not to do it."

"You're cute when you're spiteful."

"I am cute regardless."

"Oh? And I'm not?"

"Do not pout. I doubt you would want to be considered cute. I know I do not care for it."

"Stop that. Open those eyes again."

sigh

"Sorry. Thinking clearly is getting harder. I am honestly trying, Mark."

"Napoleon. It's Napoleon. Illya - don't slip on me. Open your eyes. Look at me."

"You have been lying to me, haven't you?"

"Excuse me?"

"About the lights getting dimmer. If they were as dim to you as they now are to me, you would not be able to tell if my eyes were open or not."

. . . . .

"I believe I have already stated what long pauses do to me. Whatever it is they gave me is not for memory loss, is it?"

"Take a deep breath for me, partner. Focus on taking regular breaths as deeply as you can. In through the mouth, out through the nose."

"I am not used -"

"Save your breath. Breathe deeply. Come on."

thump

gasp

. . . . .

footsteps

"Ah. Good morning, Mister Solo."

"Go to hell."

"Bad night? You don't look like you slept at all. Perhaps we might be able to provide you with a sleeping aid like the one your partner enjoyed. Of course, in normal circumstances, we wouldn't have bothered with that."

"That wasn't part of the poison's effects?"

"Not at all. If it caused tiredness, it would remove one of the advantages of the poison. As it is, we could administer it to someone at breakfast and, unless they nap, it won't take effect until that night. It stays effective for eighteen hours, then the chemicals breakdown. After that, there may be a few oddities that show on blood work, but nothing that would point to the true cause of death."

unlocking

"I doubt you will get to try it for yourself though. Mister Kuryakin should suffice as the guinea pig for this one. Next week, there will pandemonium such as has never been seen before at the United Nations."

"Next week?"

"There will be a breakfast hosted for all of the delegates and their staff. Oh, I am sure not everyone will attend, but any country that doesn't participate will just end up as suspects for the deaths of the others. I doubt the United Nations will form again in our lifetimes after that."

"Why not a normal poison?"

"How crass, Mister Solo. With this formula, we have the extra advantage that a disease might be suspected and causing extra panic. After all, why would anyone think of the meal these people had hours earlier as having anything to do with it?"

footsteps

"Mister Kuryakin seems to have gone peacefully enough. He looks almost lifelike, doesn't –"

choking

keys hitting the floor

"Thanks for the keys, chum. How are you doing?"

"Better than our former host is now. At least whatever they gave me to make me sleepy seems to have worn off. Though I am still exhausted. I still must stay awake for how long?"

"Well, I don't know exactly when they gave it to you, but if you stay up another six hours, we'll definitely be past the eighteen hour mark."

groan

"That wasn't the start of another whine, was it?"

"I believe I already mentioned that Russians do not whine. Six hours does seem a very long time right now though."

"I bet. Let's make our way out of here. We need to be very careful of guards. Last thing we need is for someone to knock you out with a lucky shot."

"Well, that should kill an hour at least."

"I'll keep you awake for the rest, pal."

"You certainly have had plenty of practice at keeping me awake. But once the six hours are up?"

"Lights out and you can sleep as long as you want. Could you toss me my shoe back?"

"You hit me with your shoe?"

"You stopped breathing for a minute – I didn't have a bucket of water handy, so I had to make do with the shoe. Hey – it worked."

"Yes, it did. Napoleon? Why the lie?"

"I wanted you to fight harder. I didn't realize until a few minutes ago just how much they'd stacked the deck against you, but I knew you'd be more leery of losing your ability to think than of losing your life."

. . . . .

"Illya?"

"Sorry. That just surprised me is all, Napoleon."

"What? Was I wrong?"

"No. You were right, but I had never really thought about it. Just a bit of a surprise that you knew something about me that I did not know about myself."

"Like you always say, tovarich - I know you so well."