Half of My Heart
A/N: This is a very belated birthday fic for my dear dear friend and partner in crime who for some weird reason I can't live without, Sammy. I really really hope you like this because I had no idea what I was doing while i was writing it. Happy belated birthday sweetie.
This is from the same verse as Here Without You. The events of this fic happen before Devan is born or conceived.
He'd never felt this way about anyone before, not even his wife. He couldn't deny that he was in love with his wife or he would never have married her. But his feelings for her weren't this strong. No, this was a different kind of love. One that he was unfamiliar with and one that scared him.
In the beginning he'd tried to fight it, brushing it off as a small, innocent crush on someone he spent a lot time at work with. But the more time they spent together, the more deeply he fell in love with her.
When it was obvious to him that this was more than a crush, he ignored the feelings he had for her because they didn't mean anything, they couldn't mean anything. He was happily married and had a beautiful baby he adored, but on the lonely nights when he was out of town on business and his family weren't with him, he'd lie in bed thinking of her, only her. How it would feel to have her lying beside him in his arms. How it would feel to be buried deep inside her while she moaned underneath him in pleasure, screaming his name as she came undone.
After months of trying to convince himself that his feelings for her meant nothing, he'd come to a decision. He needed to give into whatever these feelings were and get her of his system. Maybe if he could be with her just once, he'd finally be able to move on and stop thinking about her all the time.
But what if she didn't feel the same way about him? She knew he was happily married, would she agree to having a one night stand with a married man? It was a shot in the dark, but he owed it to himself to find out because he couldn't go on living like this.
He'd approached her nervously one afternoon in between meetings and asked her if they could talk in private at the end of the day. She'd said yes, of course, she never said no to him whenever he asked her for anything.
A few hours later, after they'd finished their last meeting of the day, he was outside her office and knocking on her door. Seconds later he heard her calling out for him to come in.
He stepped inside and closed the door behind him and stood there watching her signing some last minute documents, nervously twisting his wedding ring with his thumb. This was a bad idea. A very bad idea. But before he could turn around and leave she was facing him with a smile. "So, what's up?"
He tightened his lips. He couldn't do this; their friendship meant too much to him and once the cat was out of the bag, there would be no turning back. If she didn't feel the same way about him then their friendship could be ruined, and he couldn't bear the thought of losing her. He'd rather have her in his life as a friend than not at all.
The sound of her clearing her throat brought him back to reality, "Earth to-"
"Sorry, it's uh… it's nothing. I should… I should go." he said pointing to the door and turning around.
"Nope," she was quick on her feet and grabbing his arm, "it's definitely not nothing, and you're not leaving until you tell me whatever it is you came here to say."
"I… I can't. Our friendship means too much to me. Just forget I was here tonight. Please." he begged.
"Ok how about a compromise. You tell me what's been bothering you for the last few weeks-"
"How did you-" he interrupted, but she raised a finger to shut him up before he could finish.
"-and if I don't like what you have to say, or if you don't like what I tell you afterwards, we'll forget this ever happened." she continued. "So what do you think, do we have a deal?
He raked his fingers through his hair. This might work out after all. If she felt the same way about him then maybe they could give whatever this was a shot. And if she didn't they could forget about everything that happened tonight and still be friends. "We have a deal." he nodded.
"So what is it you wanted to tell me?"
Suddenly he was at a loss for words. What did he do now? Did he blurt it out, even though he wasn't sure what this was? What should he say to her? I think I might have feelings for you?
No. Standing inside her office, facing her, watching the way she bit her lower lip as she waited for him to say what he came here to say, he was finally certain about his feelings. He was head over heels madly in love with her, and he hoped she felt the same way about him too because he wasn't going to blurt it out. Instead he did the only thing he wanted to do in that moment; he took a step towards her, reached out and drew her closer. He took a deep breath, it was now or never he thought to himself as his lips came crashing down on hers.
He expected her to pull away from his grasp, or to push him away, he even expected a slap from her for daring to be so bold. But whatever he expected her reaction to be, this was definitely not it.
As soon as his lips touched hers, a small moan escaped them before she threw her arms around his neck, and pressed herself against him as she melted into his kiss. He took that as an open invitation to take things a little further. He deepened the kiss as one of his hands cupped the back of her neck, while the other one curled around her waist hauling her even closer where she could feel exactly what she was doing to him.
She gasped when she felt how hard he was, and as soon as she did he took complete advantage, sliding his tongue into her mouth and letting it tangle with hers, causing her legs to turn to jelly. It wasn't long before they were both breathless but neither one of them wanted to pull away - they couldn't.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he tore his mouth away from hers, both of them gasping for air.
He leaned down once again towards her, but this time his lips brushed against her ear, "I love you." he whispered breathlessly, "I've loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you. Please tell me you feel the same way." he said, as he lifted his head back up and gazed hopefully into her deep blue eyes.
Her only response was to place a hand behind his neck pull him closer towards her, pressing her mouth firmly against his. His hands grabbed her hips and pressed her against the wall, kissing her back hungrily. Taking what he could from her, afraid that if he stopped she'd come to her senses and tell him that this was a mistake.
He pulled his lips away from her mouth peppering small kisses down her neck, "Is that a yes?" he murmured teasingly against her skin. "Because I want you so bad."
"Well then, what are you waiting for?" she said huskily, pulling him towards the couch.
"I want you to know that I love you." he said softly as she cuddled into his side.
"I love you too." she whispered.
"And I need you to know that I love my family too, I could never leave them." he added seriously.
Her fingers ran delicate circles over his chest, "I know, and I would never ask you to."
"If we both decide to go on with this, then we have to keep it a secret. No one can ever know about us."
She leaned up on her elbows and looked him in the eye, "I know what we did is wrong on so many levels, and that we shouldn't be doing this, but... I don't want us to stop before we've even started."
"I don't want us to stop either." he whispered desperately.
"We have to leave soon or we'll end up getting get locked in."
Lust glittered in his eyes, "would it be so bad if it was just the two of us here all night?"
She raised her eyebrows, "I thought we were keeping this a secret."
"Good point." he flipped her onto her back and pinned her down with his body as she squealed in delight. "But I think we have time for one more round, and I haven't had my dinner yet." he said as he disappeared under the throw blanket that they were covered with.
Fin