Quietly entering the McGarrett household Steve couldn't help but feel guilty. Lily was only five weeks old and since Steve had gone back to work he hadn't spent much time at home with his wife or children. Work had been so busy; he didn't have much time to catch his breath back let alone get some time in at home and when he was home he would end up falling asleep, most of the time it was on the sofa because he didn't want to end up disturbing Sam up in bed. Of course Sam would say that she didn't mind and she knew how much his job meant to him but it didn't stop him feeling guilty that he wasn't home much and he could feel that it was putting pressure on his relationship with Sam. He felt like he didn't deserve her. That she could do much better than him but he knew that would never happen. Not in his eyes anyway. Mainly because he loved her way too much to let her go. She was his and always would be. He wanted to make it up to her but he didn't know how to. He had chatted to Danny about this but even Danny didn't know what really to suggest to him. It was easier for Danny as he had shared custody of his children so when he didn't have the children he could easily spend his time with Melissa but with Steve it was different. He wasn't just a dad, he was a husband too. They were all living under one roof. It was a balance they both had to juggle and Danny assured him he would find the right balance in time but Steve was still feeling guilty about not being home enough and spending time with Sam. She did everything at home and he felt like he did nothing these days. Especially when half the time he wasn't coming home till gone two in the morning, like he currently was now. He couldn't help but sigh as he looked to his watch. Two thirty four a.m. His guilt had just gone up even more.
As he gently and quietly closed the door behind him he then looked over to the sofa and he couldn't help but smile. Lying on the sofa was his beautiful wife who had their daughter on her chest as they both slept away, Sam's hands wrapped gently under Lily's bum to support her there while Lily clung to her mother's top as she dozed away. It was a beautiful sight to see right now. She was a mommy's girl. Gently closing the door behind him he locked up before he then went over to the sofa and sat down on the edge of the coffee table. Smiling to himself he gently stroked his daughter's cheek with his finger before he then looked to his wife and gave her arm a gentle rub. "Babe…" He gently whispered as he rested his arms on knees as he looked to her, softly rubbing her arm still. She couldn't sleep down here all night.
Sam was happily sleeping on the sofa. Lily wouldn't settle after her feed and Sam didn't want to wake up Alfie so she came downstairs with her. As she felt someone rub her arm she frowned a little before she then let her eyes flutter open. Seeing Steve beside her she smiled a little to him. "Hey." She whispered tiredly before she then looked down to her sleeping daughter before looking to Steve once more. "What time is it?"
Steve sighed as he looked to her. "Late…you should be up in bed, what are you two doing down here anyway?" He asked looking to her.
Sam moved her one hand before rubbing her eyes a little and sighed. "She wouldn't settle so I bought her down here so she wouldn't wake Alfie up." She mumbled rubbing her eyes again as a yawn slipped passed her lips before she looked back to her husband.
Getting to his feet Steve then gently scooped his sleeping daughter into his arms and looked to Sam. "Come on. We're going to bed." He told her as he kissed Lily's head holding one hand out for Sam. Lily was so small she fitted perfectly in Steve's one arm!
Sam smiled as she took her husband's hand and got to her feet as she leant into him as they both headed upstairs to their room. Going in Sam went over to the bed and plonked herself down on it a yawn passing her lips as she laid down and closed her eyes. She was so tired right now.
Walking up with his wife, Steve followed her into their bedroom and went over to the Moses basket that was next to their bed and gently popped Lily in and tucked her in before he kicked off his shoes and stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed. Moving behind Sam he kissed her neck as he moved his arms around and held her close to him, hiding his face in her neck as he closed his eyes briefly a small content smile tugging on his lips. It felt so good to have Sam back in his arms after a long day…well it had been a long couple of weeks! It had felt like months since he was able to do this!
As Steve moved his arms around her Sam couldn't help but smile as she moved her hands over his and smiled to herself. She had missed this. "I've missed you." She whispered leaning back into him more.
Hearing her he couldn't help but sigh as he kissed her head as he let his eyes open once more. "I've missed you too. Work has been so busy…I'm sorry." He mumbled as he then looked down to her. "I've been thinking…what if I went to work part time…just until Lily is old enough…"
Hearing him Sam frowned a little as she opened her eyes, turning in his arms she looked up to him, moving her arm around him. "But you love your job…" She whispered.
Looking to her as she turned around he sighed a little. "I know I do…but I love you and the kids more. I'm missing out on so much already…Lily's five weeks old and I feel like i've missed out on so much already with her…and Alfie…I don't want to miss any more with either of them…I want to be home to bath them and put them to bed…I want to finish work at a normal time and come home to my family. I want us to be able to put the kids to bed then just laze around on the sofa with a few beers…"
Sam looked to him and sighed. "You can do that Steve. There's nothing stopping you doing that. The Five-0 task force is your task force…you can choose your own working hours. There are five of you…you don't have to be there twenty four hours a day. Delegate..." She smiled and lent forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "We can still do that kind of stuff." She whispered with a smile to him.
"But I feel like I'm losing you." He admitted with a sigh as he looked down to her. "You deserve so much better than what I can give you."
Hearing him Sam looked to him. "You're never going to lose me don't you dare even think that." Sam told him firmly. "I love you. Nothing will ever stop me loving you. I am yours and always will be. I married you because I love you. No job will get in-between us. You give me everything I want and more. Without you Alfie wouldn't be here and neither would Lily…I'd be nothing without you. No more silly talk about me deserving better. You're the best any girl could ever want." She told him as she moved and kissed him again.
Steve listened to her and smiled as he nodded a little before he kissed her back and smiled. "I guess you're right." He whispered as he held her close to him. "But was thinking about taking a few days off. Can't be easy for you looking after both of the kids…" He whispered looking to her. "I just want to spend some time with my beautiful family."
Sam smiled as she looked up to him. "I like the sound of that…but just so you know I'm perfectly capable at looking after our children…but having you home for a few days does sound perfect. I've missed you." She whispered with a smile to him.
"I know you are babe I'm not saying you're not but I know how energetic Alfie can be at times and with little miss over there as well…you're going to be tired. And I've missed you too. So much."
"You worry too much you know that." She mused with a smile to him as she tightened her arms around him. "Don't be such a worry wart."
Steve laughed a little and shrugged a little as he looked down to her. "Probably but I can't help it. I love you too much."
"I love you too." Sam whispered with a smile to him as she kissed him again a content smile resting on her lips.
Steve smiled against her lips and held her close to him. Breaking the kiss he smothered her face in kisses before he smiled down to her. "You should get some sleep." He whispered just gazing at her. She was so beautiful.
Sam giggled as he smothered her in kisses and smiled as she looked up to him and tapped his nose. "So should you." Running her fingers lazily up and down his chest she looked to him. Leaning in to kiss him again she then sighed as she heard Alfie crying on the baby monitor and went to move away from him.
Steve shook his head at her as she went to move and tugged her back. "I'll go." He whispered kissing her again as he got out of the bed and headed into Alfie's room. Scooping up his crying son he kissed his head as he popped his pacifier back into his mouth and gently rocked his son back to sleep, wiping the tears gently away from his chubby little cheeks. When he eventually nodded back off Steve gently laid him back in cot and tucked him in before going back into his room. Seeing Sam had nodded off to sleep he couldn't help but smile as he gently climbed back into bed, not wanting to wake Sam. Moving his arm around her he kissed her head and held her close to him as he let his own eyes fall to a close. This was what he needed, though despite everything that Sam said he still felt guilty and still had a knot in his stomach about their future. If anything he was scared she would change her mind. He missed spending time with her. Time with his family. Drifting off to sleep he kept his arms tightly around his wife as he held her close to him as they slept. He had really missed this. What he needed was a few days off just to spend it with his family.