Prologue
It's been a couple months since I got back. Things have been going great. Zach and I are back together, finally.
He asked me to be his girlfriend last week, in our favorite passageway, and I obviously said yes. He is so sweet, and I'm so lucky to have him.
Bex and I made up, too. She's forgiven me for leaving her behind. She said she understood why I did it and that she probably would have done the same thing. We are now Best Friends again.
Macey and Liz and I are also great. Nothing is awkward anymore, and we all act like we used too.
Almost.
I always feel really guilty around them.
Because I have a secret. A terrible, dark, secret, that wouldn't seem too bad too you unless you knew me, and what I went through.
And the worst part is I haven't told anyone that secret. Not my mom, not Mr. Solomon, not Zach, not Bex, Liz, or Macey.
I can't tell them. I'm not even sure they would understand why it was so terrible for me. Why it was worse than any torture that Catherine could have ever inflicted upon me.
And, once she found out, it was palpable that she would use it against me.
But, I guess I always knew she would find something to use against me. It was inevitable. I just never, in my entire captivity, thought it would be this.
I didn't even realize that this could be used against me, until she did it. Until she ruined my life, my dreams, my hopes. My memories.
My childhood.
Once I remembered my summer I knew I couldn't tell anyone. I knew they would never understand, if I told them. How could they?
To them it would just seem silly.
Childish.
Make me look weak. They might even laugh at me, and I don't know if I would be able to take that from them. No matter how silly, it's very important to me.
Catherine used my most precious childhood memory against me.
And I can never tell a soul.