"Look into my eyes and hear what I'm not saying for my
eyes speak louder than my voice ever will..." Unknown
For the MCRT of NCIS, the week had been unusually boring and quiet to the point that even Team Leader Leroy Jethro Gibbs was antsy and sick of prowling through cold cases. There had been no live cases and no unusual happenstance reported amongst any of them, even in their private lives. It had become a serious situation.
Serious was anytime Anthony DiNozzo, Jr. was bored to the point of madness, with the gears in his head almost audibly shifting while he thought of pranks to pull on his teammates. Tony had been sporting this look about him since he'd arrived on this Thursday morning that warned of impending pranks and practical joke mayhem. It hadn't taken long for Gibbs to notice this and return the gleeful anticipation look with a glaring warning of his own. Tony had immediately settled down and gotten to work, unwilling to push his luck with the boss. Crisis averted, the team went about their drudgery, combing through cold cases for missed clues and fresh leads.
The Team Leader hadn't missed the way Ziva and Tim were beginning to show signs of restlessness as well. Come to think of it, Tim had been acting edgy for the past three weeks, his conversations brief, his eyes seldom meeting any of theirs, his usual times of joining the team for a drink after work, suddenly politely refused every day and his nearly late arrival every morning along with his lickety- split departure when the word was handed out to go home for the night.
Looking over his team now from the sanctuary of his desk, the team leader noted that it seriously was looking like it was time to sic Ducky on his youngest agent, at least to make sure the young man was alright. Tim was looking seriously exhausted and decidedly thinner. Had the kid even eaten at all this week? Thinking back, Gibbs was startled to realize he hadn't seen their resident Geek eat anything all week. Now that he thought about it, he did remember Tony razzing Tim about dieting and Ziva expressing concern that the youngest of the group wasn't eating. Several times this week, as a matter of fact, the subject had come up between them, with Tim blowing them off as politely as he usually did, each time. Yeah, it was definitely time for the M.E. to weigh in on this, in the event that something medically inhibiting was going on with his agent. As he rose from his chair, intent on escorting Tim down to Autopsy himself, the young man's phone rang.
Reacting as though he'd been expecting the call, Tim casually picked the phone up off its cradle and answered it, his tone quiet, serious and tired.
"Agent McGee….okay…good….No, that's fine…thank you... yes, you can send him up please…thank you" Tim put the phone down and stood up. As he came around his desk, pen in hand, he walked over to Gibbs' desk and quietly spoke to the boss, obviously trying to keep his words just between the two of them.
"Boss, I promise, this will only take a minute, two tops."
Turning to leave, Tim didn't even wait for a response from Gibbs as he steadily walked to the elevator as it reached their floor and opened up. The rest of the team unabashedly stood up to witness whatever was going on with their teammate and was surprised to see two men step off the elevator, one new person and one Security Guard from downstairs. Their surprise deepened when they noticed the guest sporting a soft leather laptop sized briefcase with a large manila envelope held in place on top of it by the man's his left hand.
Reaching out to shake the man's right hand, Tim spoke briefly to the security guard before drawing his guest off to the side. The two talked for just a minute before the man handed Tim the envelope and the agent's head dropped and his shoulders slouched. The man grasped Tim's upper arm and squeezed in what could only be interpreted for compassion and spoke to him yet again. The agent raised his head. nodded, pointed to the sheet of paper his guest was now holding out and signed it as it was handed to him. Then he shook the man's hand, handed him back the piece of paper and walked him back to the Security Guard, standing in place as his guest was escorted back down to the front sign out.
"Back to work." Gibbs ordered quietly while not looking away from his seemingly troubled agent. It was rather unsettling to see him apparently frozen in place as if he were in shock.
"Good morning, Jethro." Ducky said from where he came to stand at his side.
"Hey, Duck. What brings you up here?" Gibbs spared his long-time friend a glance before sending his eyes back to his youngest agent who still hadn't moved. This shift in Gibbs' attention garnered Ducky's attention on the young man as well.
"Ah, yes, therein lies the answer to your question, Jethro. I have come to check on young Timothy. I have it on good authority that the poor boy has not been himself for some time and is continuing to look rather unwell. I also heard that he has not been eating; at least, not while he's been here at work"
"Yeah. Was just getting ready to bring him to ya myself, Duck."
"Oh? Something stop you?" the M.E. questioned in surprise.
Gibbs silently nodded his head in the direction of the young man in question who had yet to move.
"Ah, and judging from the young man's posture, whatever this is about is not pleasant."
"Doesn't look like it."
"Well, no worry, Jethro. I shall simply take him down to Autopsy with me now and we'll be able to check into things." Ducky supplied as he stepped away from Gibbs' desk.
"Duck." Gibbs quietly called him back.
The M.E. turned to look at Gibbs. The younger man walked over to him. "I'll send him down in a minute."
"Ah. Alright. There's no need to further embarrass the young man, after all, is there?" The M.E. retreated, going back the way he'd come in, silently and steadily.
Tony and Ziva hadn't been able to return their attention to their work, both still mesmerized by the sight of Tim acting so out of character. They found themselves startled when Tim suddenly moved again as he turned around, picked his head up and angrily walked back to his desk without so much as a glance in any of their directions. His anger became more apparent as he, shoved the envelope into one of the drawers to keep it safe, and slammed it shut and locked it, depositing the key back in his middle desk drawer. Looking over at his boss, he spoke to him once more as he picked up his coffee cup, all signs of anger now stowed away. "I just need more coffee, Boss. I'll be right back." He told him and then disappeared from the squad room.
Getting up from his desk, Gibbs looked at his other two agents. "Keep working."
He walked out of the squad room and waited for Tim to come out of the break room, snagging his attention when he did. "Hey. With me."
Tim turned and followed the boss silently, with his already crushed and broken heart in his throat. Stepping into the elevator as it arrived and opened up, the two men remained peacefully silent, both taking the minute to enjoy that tranquility even if it was just on the outside. When the elevator started moving, the boss reached over and pushed the stop button down and turned to his agent.
"Anything you wanna tell me?" Gibbs asked quietly as he realized what he was seeing in the young man's eyes was a mixture of pain and sorrow with a generous splash of anger.
Tim looked at Gibbs for a minute. Then he blinked to put away whatever might be showing in his eyes and shook his head as he opened his eyes once more, focusing them now on the wall beyond Gibbs' shoulder. "No, I'm fine."
"Never have been a very good liar, McGee." Gibbs quipped. "Pretty obvious you're pissed about something."
Tim remained silent, his eyes firmly fastened to the elevator buttons off to the side.
Gibbs breathed out a frustrated sigh. "I'm here if you change your mind, but for now, Ducky wants to see you."
"Ducky? Why? Boss, I'm…." Tim flustered with embarrassment.
"Not eating, not acting like yourself and obviously trying to keep it all locked up tight. That's your prerogative, McGee. But, I don't want it affecting your job and even more importantly, your health any worse than it already is. As of right now, I'm placing you on desk duty until Ducky says otherwise. In fact, I don't even wanna see you back up here until he gives the okay. Any argument from you about it and I'll send you home instead." Gibbs ordered.
Tim looked at his boss, unable to stop himself from doing so, almost as if he was willing to accept whatever punishment he found there. Surprisingly enough, the look in Gibbs' eyes didn't come anywhere near censure, but more worried and parental.
The younger man felt a weight lifted off of his shoulders even though he still couldn't bring himself to unload his burden on to the man's shoulders. "No argument, Boss." He offered quietly with a small smile that spoke of apology and gratitude all in the same gesture.
***NCIS***
After managing the rest of the journey to Autopsy in relatively easy silence, Gibbs shared a knowing glance with the M.E. and cast one more appraising look at his agent before he silently turned toward the door. Leaving Tim in Ducky's capable hands, the team leader headed back to this desk. Suddenly, it occurred to him that his Senior Field Agent's penchant for snooping would probably have kicked in to overdrive by now and if Tony had snooped into what Tim had just been handed, Gibbs was gonna serve him notice faster than he could breathe his next breath. Digging out his phone, he called his Senior Field Agent.
" DiNozzo."
"Get out of McGee's Desk, DiNozzo!"
"Boss! What? I'm no…."
"If you even think about it, you'll be written up so fast your head will spin."
"Wouldn't dream of going through his desk, Boss."
"Mmm." Gibbs snapped his phone shut and breathed out a sigh of relief. One major battle avoided.
Reaching his desk, a few minutes later, he was surprised to find Tony typing away at his computer. With a momentary smile of glee, his Senior Field Agent clicked his computer mouse one more time, only to have that look change to one of worry. Another click of the mouse and the printer was noisily at work even as Tony stared at the moniter as if trying to believe what he was seeing.
Knowing in his gut that Tony was underhandedly snooping through Tim's business despite the boss' order not to do so, Gibbs launched himself up out of his chair and snatched the printed paper off the machine and headed himself toward the elevator without so much as a glance at what he held in his hand. "With me, DiNozzo. Close out your work station."
Tony struggled to be quick about closing what he'd been doing and locking his work station and still try to catch up to the now obviously pissed off boss. Oddly enough, Gibbs turned his directional heading away from the elevator.
With a pang of disbelief, Tony realized the boss was headed to the nearest shredding bin. Sure enough, the paper from the printer went in the bin before Gibbs turned back toward the elevator without pausing in his stride. Tony glanced at Ziva to share in the feeling of surpise, only to find his teammate smirking presumable because he'd gotten caught at snooping.
***NCIS***
"Alright, Timothy, your blood pressure looks just a bit low but otherwise you are in fine health. As for your appetite, I think it would help if you could tell me when this trouble eating started, dear boy." The M.E. coaxed.
In the five minutes or so he'd been down here, Tim had been extremely quiet, almost silent and showing obvious signs of being angry about something. The M.E. had done all the talking, prattle mostly, just to ease the awkwardness of the situation. By asking him questions now, Ducky hoped he could get Tim to open up to him.
Tim swallowed hard. He needed to talk to someone. But, he didn't feel comfortable doing it here where anyone could walk in during the conversation, or worse, tune in on that video link between Abby's lab and Autopsy. He'd already let the mask of normal slip too far back up in the squad room just now and somehow he couldn't stop being angry at himself for that. Almost as angry as he was at his ….no, he couldn't think about it now. That was how the mask had slipped in the first place. Here, he'd worn it so well for the past month and now it had slipped far enough that Gibbs had honed in on the resulting show of something being wrong. It couldn't happen again. It just couldn't. He had to put the mask back on, just as tight as it had been before his lawyer's visit.
Besides, he didn't want to burden anyone with his troubles. He'd made his decisions and had to stick to them, no matter how painful they were. It wasn't an excuse to drop this in anyone else's lap. It wasn't that Tim didn't want to confide in Ducky. The M.E. had already gone through his own private tragedy with the passing of his mother, choosing to handle it without a word to anyone of them who worked with him daily and treasured him, even his close friend Gibbs.
Only Abby's snooping had gotten to the bottom of that situation. Tim didn't want things to get to that point where everyone started snooping to satisfy their curiosity about what was going on with him. He needed to pull it together and fast. If Ducky could go it alone, so could he.
"I can't force myself to eat, Ducky." Was the only thing Tim could come up with as an explanation that might pacify the caring M.E..
"All right, young man, but don't think for a moment that this is the end of this. I shall be keeping a sharp eye on you. It will not bode well for us to lose you to something going on right under our very noses." Ducky admonished.
"Ducky, I promise, it's not that serious of a problem. I'm not sick or dy…. or anything. I just….I've been too stressed and…" Tim struggled now, having stumbled much too closely to the truth for his own comforts
"And obviously going through something extremely troubling. Enough so that you've not been eating or sleeping within normal perameters."
"That's about the size of it." Tim admitted quietly as he closed his eyes for a minute.
"All right. I can see you've made up your mind about this. So, let's just endeavor to see what we can do to improve the appetite, shall we? For starters try some of those protein shakes available in cans to supplement your dietary lacking right now. I want you to also start taking a daily multi-vitamin. Have you been maintaining normal exercise regiments?"
"Now that you mention it, no." Tim admitted.
"Timothy. It is not like you to allow yourself to lose such focus."
Tim nodded, his eyes clouding over. A second look revealed a glistening of those eyes and Ducky was quick to offer his sympathies. "Now, now, Timothy. You do not need to carry whatever this is, alone."
"Yeah, I do. At least for now." Tim murmured. Blinking several times, Tim wiped his hand across his face and got down off the table. "Thanks, Ducky, but I really need to get back to work now. Oh, right, Gibbs said you had to clear me first."
"Yes, well I can see it will do me no good to confine you to getting some rest on my couch, so I will allow you to return to desk duty, but do not forget to find your way back down here if you continue to have trouble eating young man. I expect to see you back here before you go home this evening. Regardless.. And any further problems and I will not hesitate to remove you from work, young man."
"Thanks, Ducky.I promise. I'll be here." Tim vowed before he headed out, slowly making his way to the elevator.
***NCIS***
As the elevator settled into its' stop position, Gibbs glared at his Senior Field Agent. "Thought I made myself clear, DiNozzo."
"You did, Boss, but…"
"You'd rather be written up because your curiosity has gotten the best of you again." The boss offered dryly.
"No. C'mon, Gibbs! I'm worried, alright? I know you are too, except you don't do worried, but…"
**Smack**
"Leave this alone, Tony. Erase all record of this search and leave it alone! If and when McGee wants to tell you, he will! Don't make me repeat myself!"
"Yes, Boss." Tony replied dejectedly. "How the hell am I supposed to find out what's going on with him now?"
"Ever try just asking him?"
"Well, yeah, Boss. You know what he'll say. It's what he always says when I ask him. "None of your business."
"Well, then it's none of your business. Maybe if you didn't invade his privacy and make fun of him so much, he'd be more willing to let you in, DiNozzo." Gibbs suggested as he turned the elevator back on and returned to his desk when it opened back up at the squad room level.
"Hmmph!" Tony grunted as he returned to his own desk, angry at having been forbidden to find out what was going on with his teammate.
"Thirty seconds, DiNozzo." Gibbs warned from across the room, his eyes fixed on his own work even as he spoke.
"On it, Boss." Tony groused as he set about typing faster than what they normally heard from him, obviously trying to get something done rather quickly.
Ziva watched with silent fascination as she tried to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Before anything else could be said, Tim returned to his desk, stopping off at the boss' desk to report. "Ducky said it's okay for me to be on desk duty, Boss."
"I know." Gibbs replied as he looked up at his agent and scrutinized him carefully. For a long silent, uncomfortable minute, the boss looked at him with an unreadable expression in his eyes. Finally, he broke the silence. "Alright, McGee, back to work. Don't even think of not eating lunch today. You and Ziva make the run for it."
"Yes, Boss." Tim answered quietly as he turned and walked to his desk and sat down, getting back to work without another word.
***NCIS***
Lunchtime rolled around and Ziva got up to head out for the lunch orders but noticed Tim was still hard at work, not even attempting to slow down. "McGee, it is lunchtime. I need your help, remember?"
Tim shook his head slightly and stopped working enough to look over at her. "Oh, right. Sorry." Locking his computer, he snatched up his wallet and badge, and headed out on her heels, still carrying the look of someone desperate for someone to talk to.
Tony blew out a sigh of frustration as his two teammates left the squad room. How was he supposed to find out what was going on with McGee now? Oh, wait! Abby would know! "Boss, I'm gonna go see if Abby needs anything for lunch."
Gibbs glared at his Senior Field Agent "She's not here, DiNozzo. Can't use her as your snitch, anyway. I'd shoot you first."