A/N: Eek I'm terrible for not updating. A lot of crap's been going on, and I'll try to update more over the next two weeks or so.
In the meantime, here's a random pointless short story thingy for all! Enjoy Team Gai, y'all.
Warnings: Set in Kung Fu Fighting verse. Note that the sheer stupidity may melt your brain.
Gai absolutely loved the idea of having a team of genin. Oh, to lead a group of young genin that were only beginning to make names for themselves! To guide them in their search for strength and purpose, to cultivate their dreams and hopes for the future! It was enough to bring him to tears at his more vulnerable moments (of which there were quite a few). There was nothing better than to aid students in the springtime of their youth!
One could only imagine his dismay, then, upon hearing that his beloved genin Otawara Makoto had been written taken to the Hokage tower for the seventh time due to public indecency.
"Makoto-kun," Gai told his student as the two walked out of the Hokage tower, an irate chuunin's tirade fresh in their ears.
"Mh?" Otawara replied, in the process of picking his nose.
"Makoto-kun, you must listen to me," Gai faced the boy, placed his hands on his shoulders. This position was made somewhat awkward due to the fact that the genin was very nearly his height. "While your youthfulness is all well and good, and I greatly admire your...confidence...I must say to you—regretfully, to be sure!—that there may be such a thing as too much youthfulness."
His student blinked at him. "What's that mean?" he started to scratch his belly, where a multitude of rope and chains (padlock included) had been tied around his waist, chafing his skin.
Gai felt his heart wither and die as he faced the prospect of crushing his student's frail individuality. "Yes, we must all strive to be youthful, but we must do so while maintaining harmony with the world around us. For, how can we live out the springtime of our youth when we destroy society and order all around us! It simply cannot be done!" At this point Gai had stepped back to clench his fist before him, staring off into some distant, probably bright future.
Otawara didn't get it. "I don't get it."
"That is to say, Makoto-kun, that though we must live the spring of our lives to the fullest—"
"Eh? Spring? Isn't it fall?"
Oh, his poor lost student! Makoto-kun, who was-no, not stupid, NEVER stupid—naive to the ways of the world, could not see the sad truth of the situation.
And so, thought Gai with grim resolve, it was up to him as jounin to take matters into his own hands.
"Uooooh!" he clenched his fists before him, eyes burning with fiery passion. "I swear that I will keep Makoto-kun fully clothed in public for two weeks or I will run 60 laps around Konoha on one hand!"
Otawara stared at him for a moment. "Bahahahahahaha! Sounds like fun!"
He then proceeded to fart.
Shortly afterward, Gai led his most thankfully clothed student to a ramen stand, where they fought for a seat among the lunch crowd, Makoto's sheer size requiring more room than the average genin.
"Rejoice, Makoto-kun! I shall buy you as much as you like in celebration of our pact!"
Otawara couldn't remember making a pact or whatever that was, but free food was a good thing. "Eh? Thanks! You're a great guy, sensei!"
To think that Makoto-kun would think that of him after he'd quashed his personal freedom! It made Gai want to cry tears of joy.
It was at that point that a girl shrieked. Gai was immediately on the alert, scanning the area for enemy threats.
Then he heard a man shout "pull up your pants, for God's sake!" and his heart sunk. His eyes flew to his student.
There stood his student, pants and boxers on the floor, chains and rope lying uselessly around them. To think that he had failed his student, and so soon! How could he let such a thing come to—
But then Otawara let out a belly laugh. Gai stared at his student, so happy and comfortable as he was, and felt a wave of dismay wash over him.
"My student," Gai said seriously, hands on his shoulders again. This was made even more awkward due to the fact that Otawara had managed to lose his shirt by this point as well. "Please forgive me."
"Eh?" he replied, picking his nose again without a care in the world.
"In my ignorance," Gai continued, manly streams of tears running down his face, "I have forgotten what is most important. Being in tune with society may be valuable indeed, but it can never compare—indeed, never!—with your youth. I see now that you must be true to yourself at all times, for that is the only way to attain happiness. Thank you for teaching me this once more."
Gai closed his eyes then, a serene smile on his face. His eyes then snapped open again with burning resolve once more, as he clenched his fist facing that bizarrely intangible distant future once more.
"I have now seen the error of my ways, my most youthful student Makoto-kun! I shall now circle Konoha seventy-five times on one hand—no, on one finger, in order to repent!"
And, as Gai rushed into the distance to fulfill this solemn oath, love and understanding for individuality and youthfulness spread through the bar—nay, through the entire village! Everyone began to love fellow man. Indeed, Konoha was swept up in a wave of kindness and understanding that had never before been seen!
Until a chuunin arrived to drag Otawara Makoto off to the Hokage tower again, in any case.
I warned you it was stupid. I did! I am not liable for any dissolving or otherwise meltdown of brains whatsoever.
Also, I confess this scenario was the entire reason for putting Otawara Makoto on Gai's team.