Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. No money was made. Much thanks to Kripke for the loan of his pretty.
A/N: So. Not supposed to be writing. At least not this… Supposed to be working or sleeping, but the brothers won't leave me alone. Tag to Wishful Thinking.
The cool air across the water felt nice on his face. Refreshing. Soothing. His stomach was still not a happy camper. Stupid wish. His head ached. But he'd have to let the booze take responsibility for that. The headline of the newspaper blurred in front of him. He heard the chatter of the little girl and the footfalls of her parents, but it seemed like they were very far away.
It happened like that. Just a sudden wave of sensation and he was there. It took his breath away, and he wished with all his heart that he could make it go away again.
The sun tunnelled out. It was dark and bloody and loud.
And then it was gone again. Skittering across his consciousness like oil across a hot pan.
And then the breeze was back. And the light. And Sam.
Sam.
He was so dark. When had that happened? When had he stopped wishing for normal?
Dean had always understood Sam's wishes. They'd made him happy on some level. Even when Sam ripped out Dean's heart to leave and follow his dream, Dean had understood. He'd even been jealous. Hurt. Mad. Devastated. But that was all his own selfishness. His own baggage. Sammy's dreams, his wishes, they were understandable.
Well. On some level, Dean understood Sam's desire for Lilith's head on a platter. But still. It hurt him. Made him mad. Left him a little devastated that Sam had stopped wishing for the light.
So, when Sam wanted to know about Hell? Dean couldn't tell him. Couldn't subject him to that. Couldn't chance that it would hurt or darken Sam any more.
He didn't want to tell Sam. He didn't want to remember himself. He sure as HELL didn't want to talk about it. He had to live with it and that was enough.
He couldn't find the words to make Sam understand. He didn't want to try to make Sam understand. All he wanted to do was protect him gigantic little brother from it.
But he was done lying. Because he was done hurting his little brother. And that right there? That's why he couldn't tell his little brother about the pit.
A/N: I know. Short. Not even sure this was worth doing. But that last scene is just stuck in my head….