So, this was an idea I just thought right when I was about to fall asleep a few nights ago. I don't know how long this fan fiction will be, or how serious of a tone I'll take (probably mostly humorous, I don't do drama well). Also, all of the chapter titles are going to be song lyrics or titles. Because, you know, why not? Apparently, I like just announcing to the public what music I listen to.
Also, be warned that I really don't like Heidi. That's going to become more apparent as this fan fiction goes on. Or, at least, I really don't like Cartman's relationship with her. It's stupid, and doesn't make me really like either of them.
Chapter One – Bye, Bye, Bye
"You're dead to me."
If Cartman had known how serious Kyle was when he spoke those words, he probably would have gone back to that week leading up to it and stopped everything he had done that had pushed Kyle over the edge. Actually, no. He would have gone back even further and stopped himself from dating Heidi in the first place. Yup. Obviously, this was all her fault.
The very next day after Cartman had tricked Heidi into breaking up with Kyle, he felt the need to rub it in his face that he had won. It was only natural, after all. Cartman knew Kyle deserved it for stealing his girl in the first place.
This led into their longest, loudest and angriest argument ever. The two of them screamed at each other for hours, and the only reason why they didn't break into a fist fight was because Stan and Kenny happened to be there, holding the two of them back from killing each other. Cartman called Kyle every terrible name for Jew he could think of, while Kyle spat every other name back at him. The argument only came to a halt because Kyle's mother came into the living room to break them up and send them home.
The very next day, neither them spoke as they waited for the bus. Stan and Kenny stood uncomfortably in between them, ready in case either of their two friends tried to kill each other. There was no further incident until after school, however. Then all hell broke loose.
Stan and Kyle made their way down the hall, muttering to each other as Cartman and Heidi approached from the other direction, talking in obnoxiously loud voices. Out of the corner of his eye as they passed each other, Cartman noticed that Kyle quickly gave them both the middle finger before passing them, and a rage boiled over in him for some reason.
Angrily, Cartman whipped around and threw one of his text books at Kyle, hitting him squarely in the back. Before Stan and Heidi could stop either of them, Kyle was tackling Cartman to the ground, and a crowd started to grow around them as the two of them tried to kill each other. By the time PC Principle managed to break through the crowd of cheering kids, Kyle was punching Cartman hard in the face while the fat kid had his hands around Kyle's throat, trying to strangle him.
The principle screamed at both of them until he was blue in the face, then gave them both a week of detention. Then he called their parents. As soon as Kyle got home that day, his mother was on him in an instant, hollering and crying that she thought she had raised him better than that, then grounded him for a month.
But that's not what pushed Kyle over the edge. What really did it was Cartman revealing the next day that his mom didn't punish him at all, and bragging about the fact that Kyle "got what he deserved."
Stan and Kenny both flinched and waited for Kyle to try and attack Cartman again, but the rage never came. At least, not in the way they expected. When Kyle didn't immediately attack Cartman again, Kenny and Stan glanced at their friend and saw him give Cartman a look. A terrifying look that all of them (including Cartman) prayed they would never be on the receiving end of. His "You're dead to me" look. Only given to two other people.
Cartman took a hesitant and timid step back when he saw the look on Kyle's face, and Kyle took a menacing step towards him, his eyes flashing dangerously and his mouth pulled back into a snarl. He muttered only four words to him, but it was the last words that Cartman never thought he would hear from him.
"You're dead to me," Kyle hissed at him, and he turned on his heel and stalked off down the hall.
I know this chapter didn't have a lot of dialogue, but I didn't really want to write so much about what led up to all of this (that could have been a fan fiction in itself, and I think the show covered it pretty well). I want this story to focus on what happens after Kyle declares Cartman dead to him. So sorry for this chapter being incredibly short. Most of my first chapters are. Hopefully they'll get longer.
So, tell me what you think so far and hopefully I'll have a longer and more interesting chapter next time. Thank you.