Well I can honestly say it's been forever since I've written anything long enough to publish.
This story is in some sort of reincarnation AU where no one remembers what happened or something like that. Hopefully it makes sense to you as you read it.
It's not super long, but I hope you enjoy it
Thanks for dropping by
Levi leaned back against the heavy chest of drawers that made up the bottom half of a massive wooden shelf that spanned one of the walls in the spacious office, sipping his cup of black tea slowly as he stared across the room, his eyes focused intently on the man who was sitting behind the wide glass topped desk that sat in front of a floor to ceiling glass window, his back straight and the pen moving steadily back and forth across the papers that were spread in front of him.
Occasionally the man would pause and tap the back of his pen against the base of the desk lamp that sat a little to his right, but he never looked up from his work.
It seemed to absorb his entire being, occupying every last bit of his attention in a way Levi was sure wasn't normal.
It was as if nothing else existed around him when he was sitting at his desk working.
Levi was completely transfixed, unable to look away as he took in every movement the man made, down to the way his eyebrows would knit together and then relax, only to knit together again as he pealed the top page off of the stack of papers he was currently absorbed in and set it aside to review later.
He had seen the same kind of intensity before, and felt the same burning drive that he felt now as he stared at the man as he worked, but he had never been able to place where. Because until he had met this man, he hadn't thought it actually existed.
How long had he been standing there, watching him work under the orange light of the oil lamp, hours? days? It felt like an eternity, and the tea in his cup had long since become cold.
They had met when Hanji, a long time friend of Levi's, had introduced the two of them after a mix-up of scheduled lunch appointments that ended up in the three of them crowded around a small table at the downtown cafe talking for the rest of the afternoon.
The conversation flowed so easily, words coming naturally, followed by eyes meeting in breaks of silence. It was as if they had known each other for a lifetime.
Levi wasn't sure how everything else had fallen into place, it had happened so quickly and so naturally that he hadn't even bothered to keep track of when exactly he had started spending more time in the man's office, when they had started sharing their breaks, taking meals together, or even when they had started going home together.
It had all fallen into place so naturally and seamlessly that it had barely merited a second thought in his otherwise meticulously organized life.
The only thing he had noticed was how everything that man did was familiar. From the way he held his pencils, drank from his mug-always coffee, much to Levi's chagrin-to the way he would stride across the floor, his strong and steady steps full of purpose, his shoulders squared with authority and seeming to bear some sort of unseen burned that was weighing him down.
To everyone else his eyes were a fierce blue, harsh and cold and full of unbending resolve. To his comrades they were full of determination and responsibility, carrying the weight of humanity's survival. But to Levi they were the endless blue of an ocean of possibility, of hope, of purpose in a world that was otherwise colorless and dull. They were the piercing blue of open skies, they were the color of what it meant to be alive.
The severe sense of deja vu had been growing steadily stronger since the moment they had met, and the more Levi observed this man the more he was convinced that nothing this man did or could do would surprise him because somewhere, somehow, he had seen it already.
Levi didn't really believe in alternate universes or reincarnation, he was far too realistic for that. He only believed in what he could see, touch, and feel.
But the more it kept him awake at night, the more he was starting to wonder if in some alternate existence he knew this man much better than he did here, that maybe in some other world those deep blue eyes had stared into his, offering something that would come at a high price that any one else would have refused, but that he had accepted because somewhere in his heart he knew he could trust this man with everything he had.
That perhaps in that world they held each other as they did in this world, only with more desperation and more passion, driven together by some sort of unseen force that was threatening to consume them.
The thought would always bring an ache to his chest and he had tried to stop thinking about it.
Only that hadn't worked so well, because then he had started having flashbacks, or maybe they were nightmares-because he hand't lived through any of what he was seeing.
There was no way he had seen all of his friends killed or lived in such a desperate world. There was no way he had lost so much. But it was so real. The pain in his chest was so real.
When he had spoken to Hanji about it she had tried to talk to him about a theory she had for reincarnation
"What if we get reincarnated so we can have another chance at a happy ending?" She was seated next to Moblit on the couch, a cup of coffee in one hand and her glasses pushed back over her hair, looking relaxed for once and clean.
A few months earlier and he would have just scoffed at her theory and went back to his own routine life.
But that was before he had met this man and had started having those flashbacks or nightmares or whatever they were.
"Levi"
He looked up sharply in response to that voice calling his name.
As if he had responded that way hundreds of times before
In the midst of his deep thinking he hadn't noticed the man stand up
his legs pushing the chair back as he set the pencil down and straightened the sheets of paper into a uniform stack before turning to cross the room, broad shoulders squared, gaze steady, hands held stiffly at his side like some sort of military man...Levi knew it by heart, he'd seen it done hundreds of times...what?
It was growing harder to distinguish reality from the memories that would invade his thoughts. Memories he was certain weren't his. Except, how could they not be his?
"hn?"
he set his teacup on the counter part of the shelf he was leaning against and turned to face the one who had addressed him
"is there a lot on your mind?"
Those large hands reached around to rest on the small off Levi's back as the taller man leaned in, anxious for an answer.
The warm, musky scent seemed to fill the air around him and he sighed, closing his eyes and resting his head against that chest. They stood there in the middle of their living quarters, saying nothing as they held on to each other, their fingers digging into the material of each other's shirts as they sought for some sort of anchor in the midst of madness. He was so tired.
"no"
Levi shook his head, trying to pushing away the overwhelming sensation that he had lives a scene such as this one before.
Warm arms surrounded him, pulling him close and holding him in the chilly evening. The heat of the man's body permeating the air around him and causing him to shiver contentedly.
A soft chuckle rumbled in the man's chest, Levi felt more than heard it.
"you were staring again" the man said it softly, his tone showed he was concerned but hesitant to say it "you had that look on your face"
That look...had come to mean the way Levi's eyebrows would come together, his eyes dark and tormented as he seemed to stare into a terrifying abyss only he could see...he never did it consciously, but Hanji joked that he'd been born with it. And for all he knew he had.
"did I?"
he asked dryly.
He could feel the man's face drawing closer to his. Had he chosen to look up they would have touched foreheads and he would have found himself staring into those too familiar eyes in that too familiar face with that too familiar expression that he found painstakingly hard to read. He didn't move.
"are you ever going to tell me what you're thinking, Levi Ackerman?"
The smooth voice seemed to sink into every crack of Levi's heart, soothing the ache that had formed as he had thought of the other world.
It was hard. To reach any semblance of a feeling of normalcy in a world that was so regularly torn to shreds by the enemy was nearly impossible. But somehow they had managed to find an asylum in each others' arms, a place where they could be pieced back together and healed from the otherwise crippling pain.
This time Levi did look up, his mouth turning upward in what could almost have been a smile.
He could forget about the troubling thoughts of alternate universes and reincarnations for now. Right now he was fine living in a present that didn't keep him up at night, or terrify him, or hurt.
A present where it was just him, the other man and the endlessness of those blue eyes.
"Maybe one day..."
he murmured, taking the hand that was reaching for his, and intertwining their fingers together.
"Erwin Smith"
The lips that kissed his were smiling.
