Plena luna
It was cold. Even through his thick black fur, he could feel the breeze uncurl it fingers and sift it through his pitch pelt. He heard Peter whimper through the howling of the wind and let out a low, reprimanding growl.
Sirius had always hated how scared wormtail got on these nights. They knew him. They had nothing to be afraid of. Nothing. Sirius couldn't bring himself to do anything more than growl this night however, because he knew how peter was feeling. He couldn't bark at him now. Not when everything was so different, not now their numbers had dropped by one.
The first time it had happened, Sirius didn't believe it. He couldn't believe it. He just laughed it off. How could he be serious about missing a full moon? However it became painfully obvious waiting for 3 hours with wormtail under the willow that James wasn't coming. He hadn't been joking. He had left them.
"What the FUCK is wrong with you potter?"
Sirius had charged into the common room, not caring that James and lily were practically naked, writhing around on the sofa.
Sirius had swiftly crossed the room and yanked James up to his feet with a vice like grip around the top of his arm.
Lily screeched "Black what the HELL are you doing here?"
"Oh piss off Evans, you can fuck James any day of the week, its not like he won't blow off his friends when they need him or any-"
"Don't you fucking dare talk to her like that!"
James red face was inches from his own, hazel eyes boring into the black ones, neither backing down. The best friends were breathing heavily, each wanting to hit the other with all the force they could muster.
Without taking his eyes of Sirius, James said "lily, go up to my dorm, I will meet you there in a bit"
"but ja-"
"Just do it Lil"
Swiftly pulling James' T-shirt off the floor, Sirius couldn't help but rake his eyes over Lily's perfect body. Her bra was off, so Sirius could see why she got fairly angry when he burst into the room; she made a good show of covering herself up, but her long willowy legs could be hidden, and as she pulled his best mates T shirt over her head, the muscles in her back, which she had faced towards him, rippled in the sexiest way possible. Fuck James was a lucky bastard. Its not like he fancied her or anything, but lily was the best looking bird in the school.
Her fiery red hair dancing behind her, lily stepped lithely over to James, planting a swift, chaste kiss on his lips, before she sauntered up the stairs to the boy's dormitories.
"can you STOP looking at my girlfriend like that?" James cried indignantly
"sorry mate, but something that beautiful and I can't help myself"
An awkward silence then passed between them, and James had the decency to look ashamed of himself.
"Was it worth it prongs? Was that quick fuck worth abandoning your best friend?"
"Padfoot, you know it wasn't like that! I just… she just-"
"She what prongs?" Sirius spat out "What the fuck is more important then our BEST FRIEND? Moony needs us potter. One night. One Fucking night of the month. That's all he asks for, in fact he doesn't even ASK for that, we just do it because it's the right thing to do." Sirius stepped closer to James, stooping his head to try and catch James' eye, who was looking at his feet. "Why. Why did you do that to him, fuck that HOW did you do that to him."
Another moment of silence passed, until James said defensively
"I TOLD you I couldn't come today"
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING JOKING PRONGS!" roared Sirius "I didn't think you would ever, EVER abandon him like that"
"Sirius I can't help it! I can't" James threw back at him
Yet again, silence fell between them, where Sirius began to seethe with rage. In a deadly quiet voice, full of venom, Sirius said "Yes you fucking can Potter. Remus is our BEST friend. But you seem to have forgotten that little detail." He bit out. "You blew off Remus, for Evans. For a quick fuck. I don't even know who you are anymore"
"It wasn't for a quick fuck Sirius, she is going through a lot at the moment"
At this Sirius actually laughed out loud. Was he serious? Did he actually just say that?
"Oh, and what moony goes through is just a walk in the park is it? Breaking every bone in his body before turning into a monster that he has no control over, scared of killing someone at every moment, but being unable to stop himself. yeah, sounds fucking easy to me"
James had no reply to that. Sirius knew how guilty James felt, and that Lily had no idea what she was asking of James when she asked him to stay that night, but Sirius didn't care. James should have said no and he knew it. Unless Lily was dying and screaming in pain, there was no excuse to miss this. None.
Throwing one last contemptuous glare at James, Sirius' face finally softened.
"He missed you. Fuck I missed you. Peter was shit scared and so was I. It was the first night I had to control Moony alone. Wormtail is too fucking small to do anything to help, so I had to face a warewolf by myself. Don't miss it again." And with that Sirius stormed out of the portrait hole, leaving James standing alone, wallowing in his guilt.
Sirius had thought that would have been the last time James would have missed the full moon so he didn't bring it up again that, and because Remus found out what he had done to James and told him off, but the stupid prat deserved it and he wasn't sorry he had done it. He was sure that James would come the next time. But yet again, he and Peter had stood beneath the willow waiting to no avail. Sirius hadn't spoken to James after that. Not once.
Tonight, Sirius knew there was no point waiting, but he did it anyway. He saw how hurt Remus was by James' lack of appearance, even if he tried to put on a brave face. Sirius always could read Remus the best, when he was human and when he… ermm… well, wasn't. Human that is.
A lot of the time when Remus was quiet and thoughtful, no one could ever get him to talk, no one but Sirius. They had a strange kinship. Nothing like the one he shared with James, who was nothing short of his brother, but something else entirely.
Sirius had never admitted it. To any one. But he knew it was there. He knew the feelings he had for Remus were more than just brotherly affection. He was sure that James knew the extent of his attachment to Lupin, but if he did, he never said anything. Sirius knew it confounded James, who would see him gawking at his supermodel girlfriend, and then lusting after the slim, toned body of Remus. To be honest Sirius didn't understand it himself. It wasn't that he was gay, but he definitely wasn't straight either. He just couldn't help himself. He could appreciate a beautiful woman, but in the end, all he ever though of was Remus, but he never said anything, and planned to keep it that way. Peter was far too dense to realise something past his own nose, so it was just an unspoken fact that flitted between James and Sirius. James never said anything when Sirius would watch Remus change out of his robes. Never said anything when Sirius would gaze at the long, elegant fingers un-button the starched white school uniform shirt. Never commented on how Sirius would shiver with pleasure when the smooth, pale plains of Lupin's chest where revealed. Sirius tried not to look, but he couldn't help it.
Nor could he help his primal instinct of protecting Remus. When moony cried out in pain during his transformation, Sirius wished for nothing more than to cradle Remus' strong jaw, tensed in pain, between his hands and tell him everything would be all right, whilst peppering his neck and chin with kisses, then creep upwards, and finally would find his firm lips with his own. But it would never happen. Remus didn't want it to happen. So life had passed this way, with Sirius desperately in love and Remus ignoring it, since 5th year.
So when James didn't turn up at the full moon, and the risk of being bitten grew by 50% without another large animal there, Sirius couldn't help himself. He wanted
To, no he NEEDED to be there with him. He couldn't let Remus face that alone.
Peter Whimpered again, louder this time. The great black dog flicked his head towards the castle, effectively saying that Peter could go inside, back to Gryffindor tower. The small watery eyes caught with the large dark ones before the gaze was broken and the little rat darted back towards the warm glow of the Castle.
It was a few more moments before Sirius heard it. The sound of large heavy paws picking their way carefully through the darkness. The black sky shifted as the monstrous form of the Werewolf broke through the night's shade. The black dog stiffened, every muscle tensed in fear as the wolf padded forward, closer and closer until the muzzles were nearly touching. Their breath blew out in short rasps, with the mists of their pants mingling together in the small distance between them. Suddenly the wolf turned and ran, full force towards the forest. Sirius knew what this was. The race was on.
The thickets and long boughs of the tress whipped past his face in a blur as the huge mass ahead of him grew ever closer. The dog and wolf's footfalls created a rhythm, which the two hearts matched. The dog drew up next to the wolf in four strides, as they both slowed down.
Sirius had never been able to run that fast before. Wormtail was far too small to keep up, and even James' stag was no match for the two canines. But tonight, bathed in the light from the moon, which hung in the sky above them, Sirius and Remus were able to keep pace with each other.
They had reached the clearing and sat down, breathing in short, shallow breaths to recover from their race. The wolf soon lay down on its side, and Sirius trotted over and stretched out behind him.
Dawn was creeping up Sirius' face. He nestled his face further into the shirt of the man he was spooning, sighing contentedly, before he realised what he was doing a jerked backwards violently, releasing Remus immediately. Lupin twisted around to face him.
"sorry mate, fell asleep" Sirius croaked out, his voice still groggy from sleep
"Its alright Sirius, that was the best night's sleep I have had in a while"
There was a strange glint in Remus' eyes that Sirius had never seen before, he was about to ask what was the matter before Remus blurted out
"It would have been fucking cold without you here, but really you shouldn't have stayed… it, I mean I… I could have hurt you" and with that Remus hung his head, as if ashamed
"Remus, what are you doing? You wouldn't have hurt me, we had been running together all night, if something was going to happed it would have done the moment you saw me without Prongs and Wormtail"
"WAIT YOU CAME ALONE?" Remus cried, fear reaching those dark, woody brown eyes
"Well yeah!" Sirius said indignantly "I wasn't going to leave you alone!"
"How fucking stupid can you be Padfoot?" Remus exclaimed, jumping to his feet "you could have been Killed, I could have killed you!"
"only if you caught me" Sirius muttered, a grin pulling at the corners of his lips
"And what would have hap- Wait... What?"
"I think you will find, I beat you last night." Sirius beamed, getting up himself to stand at eye level with the clearly confused Remus "I think you'll find that we have a new champion"
"You beat me?" Remus asked sceptically, one eyebrow rising in disbelief
"Yes I did! So you can stop looking at me like I'm a full blown nutter"
At that both of the boys laughed, and Remus slung his arm around Sirius' shoulder, effectively allowing Sirius to snake his arm around Remus waste
They stopped laughing after a while, but neither of them let go of each other.
"thank you" Remus whispered, very quietly into Sirius' ear, his hot breath expelling against Sirius' face, making him shudder with delight
The black eyes met the chestnut ones, only for a moment, but long enough for Sirius to catch a glint something he couldn't quite make out, something shining in those beautiful almond eyes.
Sirius dropped his gaze, and whispered back "you're welcome, but you know, there is no way, I am never not going to be there for you"
Remus' arm dropped from around Sirius shoulders, and he knew that he had blown it. He had said too much, Remus was having none of it. Fuck! He had ruined everything! Sirius tried to turn away, dropping his arm from Remus' waste, but a delicate finger found his chin, tilting his head up
Sirius was speechless. He was gazing into those shining eyes and couldn't bare to tear away his gaze, in fact he was so oblivious to everything else, that he didn't realise Remus lips slowly part and then come closer towards his own. In fact it wasn't until Remus had closed his eyes and sighed into Sirius mouth that he had any idea of what was happening.
Sirius jumped in surprise and Remus immediately broke away
"FUCK, oh my god SHITTING CUNTING FUCK, I can't believe I just did that"
Remus had turned away and was making to leave the clearing and it wasn't for a few moments until Sirius had realised what had just happened, but when his brain had finally puzzled out the situation, he jolted into action, turning Remus around by his waste and crushing his lips down onto Lupin's.
There they stayed, Sirius pressing his body closer to Remus', tugging at the pale boys hips, squaring them onto his own. God how many times had he dreamed of doing this? Sirius' hands crept up Lupin's back and then tugged lightly at the strands of hair, tangling his fingers in the mass of dark brown locks. Remus moaned lightly into Sirius' mouth, slipping his tongue into the kiss, groaning in pleasure.
Sirius lurched forward at this, desperate to get closer to Lupin, tipping the tangled pair hard into the ground, but that didn't stop them. Sirius pressed his weight hard into Lupin, as Remus' lips travelled feverishly over Sirius' jaw line, until, unable to bare the separation any more, Sirius pulled Lupin's mouth back to his own, desperate to taste the sweet flavour of Lupin's tongue in his own mouth. The kiss was hard, and full of passion, with Sirius' hands wandering, exploring Lupin's chest, arms, shoulders and back, until they met the other boys', and the fingers interlaced above Remus' head. There they stayed for the rest of the morning, until sauntering back to the castle thoroughly dishevelled and with leaves in his hair, Sirius realised, he was no longer angry with James for missing the full moon that particular night.