Author: kaly
Fandom: Supernatural
Category: Gen
Rating:K
Spoilers: really vague ones for the pilot
Summary: Looking after his little brother was exhausting. Dean and Sam at ages nine and five.
Disclaimer: Not mine, they belong to the WB.
Responsibility
Ever since he'd gotten home from school - a wretched little place that Dean made no secret of hating - Sam had been under foot. Dean looked up from his homework and around the small apartment they were calling home. At least it was until their dad decided to move again.
"Lets go outside and play," the five-year-old insisted, trying to pull on Dean's arm.
Shrugging away, Dean shook his head. "I can't. I think that stupid teacher called Dad or something. He's after me about my homework all of a sudden."
Dean watched as Sam's face fell. He would much rather play than work on grammar. What use was it anyway, really? Now, geography - that could at least be useful since they traveled so much.
"Go on, Sammy. Leave me alone, would ya?"
Chewing on his lower lip, Sam looked at the floor and shrugged. He retreated to the far side of the living room and dropped onto the floor in front of the couch. As Dean watched, he started playing with a toy car he'd found somewhere.
Turning back to his schoolwork, he barely paid attention to the soft noises coming from the couch. The random vrooming and crashing sounds highlighted the car's trip around the beaten up coffee table.
Dean wasn't looking forward to their dad coming home and finding out he hadn't finished his homework. Not that he'd seemed much to care before but Dean didn't want to find out if there would be a first time. So he ignored Sam and tried to make sense of the assignment.
It was the quiet, sometime later, that made the skin on the back of his neck prickle. It felt oddly like the times he'd gone with their Dad on a hunt, bundled up and hidden in the car, right before whatever they were tracking would cause trouble.
Dropping his pencil onto the table, Dean turned around in his chair, looking for Sam. The small car was sitting on the table, flipped onto its back, but the space between the couch and table was empty.
Sam was gone.
He tried to ignore the uneasy feeling that crept over him. After all, there were a few places he could be hiding.
"Sammy?" Dean asked, standing, looking around the room. When there was no answer, he turned and walked toward the bedroom that they shared. "Hey, Sam! Where'd you go?" he called out, entering the room.
A quick look in the closet and under the bed both turned up nothing. Dean was about to go check their dad's room when he noticed the ratty curtains billow outwards a bit. Thinking Sam might be playing a joke on him, hiding until Dean came to find him, he went over, careful not to make any noise. "Ah ha!" he cried, pulling the curtains open quickly.
Something in Dean froze when he saw that not only was Sam not standing there, but that the window was open. Climbing through the window, Dean looked down the stairs that dropped away from the fire escape leading to the busy street below.
If there was a rule - other than leaving the hunting tools alone if dad wasn't there - it was they were never to go out alone. Especially Sam. Fear filled Dean. The thought that his little brother might be out there, alone, overwhelmed him.
What if he went away, like their mother had?
His voice shaking, Dean started to run. "Sam!"
Before he reached the second step he heard a giggle over the dull roar of alarm in his ears. Stopping and turning, nearly slipping off the step, Dean saw Sam standing in the window with a broad smile on his face.
"Fooled you!" the younger boy proclaimed proudly. "You thought I was out there!"
Dean's mouth fell open and he stood, frozen, before running toward his little brother. "What were you thinking?" he demanded, grabbing onto Sam's shoulders as soon as he could reach them.
"Dean?" Sam asked, obviously confused and trying to pull away.
"I thought you were gone!" Dean cried, shaking his brother, although not as roughly as he would have liked. Even as anger filled him, he couldn't hurt his baby brother. "Don't do that, Sammy!" Then he pulled Sam to him, hugging him tightly.
"Dean, you're squishing me," Sam said, wiggling in the tight grasp.
"Too bad," Dean replied, not letting go. Although the fear was slowly draining out of him, the anger remained in its place. Dean began to shake and sank to his knees, pulling Sam down with him.
Sitting on the grillwork of the fire escape, Dean pulled Sam into his lap, holding on tightly. "What's wrong?" Sam asked, his eyes wide and innocent.
"You can't leave me, Sammy," Dean replied, pressing his forehead to the top of Sam's head. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest; the overwhelming fear that Sam had left was still far too fresh.
"But I didn't leave," Sam insisted. "I'm right here."
Dean nodded. "I know you are, Sammy." But even as he said it, an irrational fear stole over him. "You have to stay here, Sam." Thinking about their mom, he added, "You can't leave, too."
"Dean?" Sam asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.
"Never mind," Dean said, shaking his head. "Let's go inside and get a snack, okay?"
Sam brightened at that, nodding eagerly. "Can we have ice cream?"
"No."
"Aww, please?" Sam asked as he was climbing through the window.
Dean smiled, following Sam inside. "Okay, maybe. But no telling Dad."
Sam grinned and threw his arms around his big brother. "You're the bestest, Dean."
Ruffling Sam's hair, trying to forget the overwhelming panic of just a few moments earlier, Dean laughed. "Just remember that, Sammy." More seriously, he added, "No more hiding, okay? Unless we're playing hide and seek and even then you stay inside."
Sam nodded as he turned to leave their room. However Dean knew his attention was already solely focused on the ice cream hidden in the freezer.
Watching him go, Dean sighed. He knew that Sam couldn't remember their mother but Dean treasured what little he could remember of her. Their dad was disappearing for longer and longer at a time. Dean wanted to resent him for him but he didn't, although he wished he wouldn't leave so much. He worried that he might leave them, too, and then what would they do?
"Dean!" Sam cried from the kitchen, no doubt impatient for his brother to follow him.
Looking after his little brother was exhausting. But that was how it was supposed to be - Sam was his responsibility. And even if everyone else left them, they'd take care of one another. He wouldn't have it any other way.
end