Drake & Josh-Arthur Comes To Town
Chapter1.
( In Queens NY at the Heffernan's house)
Doug sitting at the kitchen table when Arthur comes up the stairs carrying a hand full of luggage.
"Hey there Arthur planning on taking a trip somewhere?, asked Doug
"Ah Douglas, I see your enjoying a nice hardy breakfast filled with the main food groups. Butter, fat grease, and lard. How do you keep your figure.?
Doug starts to get up
" Easy there Porky, I kid out of love. Any who this morning I was awaken by a phone call from a certain weather boy clear across the country in a place I like to call (pause while claps his hands) San Diego"
" And why would a random weather man from across the country be calling you?"
"Well as you know I have a half-brother who goes by the name of Skitch, god bless his soul"
" God bless his soul? We just helped get him put into that new nursing home a week ago, where we tried to bring you."
" WILL YOU JUST LET ME FINISH THE STORY DAMN YOU!. Now my brother Skitch alive or dead agree to disagree. Either way. Meets a lovely girl, takes her out, spits what you call GAME, bada bing bada boom they do the punta punta dance and before you know it I'm an uncle. Uncle Arty. So that weather man calling me this morning was my nephew and it turns out he is taking his charming wife on a nice get away Christmas Vacation, and he wants to fly me out to his home and treat me like a king in his royal palace."
" Well hey good for you. I never knew you had a nephew, and he's even inviting you into his home, that's a double plus. He's paying to bring you in and I'm paying to get you out. Maybe you should take the pay to move out of here and get paid to move in over there. Then you can live like a royal king, or what ever it is you call it"
"Well actually it turns out I was the only relative of his that would pick up the phone, and he wants me to fly out there not to live in the lap of luxury but to care of his 3 little kids. 2 boys Blake and Stosh and a baby girl Devin. (SIGHING AND RUBBING HIS HEAD) Oh well beggers can't be choosers and I will have to succumb to the life of a degrading servant. I'm glad to see all my years in the military were good for something. DAMN THESE COMMUNIST BASTARD'S "
In walks Carrie
"Hey dad planning a vacation?"
"Damn you and your cruel jokes, WHY MUST YOU TAUNT ME?". (walks downstairs angrily)
"Ok what's wrong with him?"
" Turns out his nephew called him this morning asking him to baby-sit"
" Really? Walter called him? I haven't heard from him in ages."
"You knew of the guy? Your father didn't know he was an uncle till 5 minutes ago. Now he's mad at the world."
" Don't worry he'll be fine. My dad and Walter have met plenty of times. My dad is just still mad at him and is holding a grudge for not naming his son Arthur Jr. Spooner."
(Arthur Yelling from the basement)
" IT'S A SPOONER TRADITION"
"Dad you brother Skitch isn't a Spooner it wouldn't make any sense."
Arthur walks up to the kitchen in the doorway.
" I released you from my pipes and brought you into this world. How dare you question my INTELLEGINCE"
" Dad take a blue pill and watch Dora."
"Oh no I'm not doing that again. Last time I did, that little Mexican girl made a move on me."
" Ok first of all dad she's Spanish, and second of all she's trying to help teach you things. It's a show for kids."
" SHE KEPT ASKING TO SEE MY MONKEY."
" Yea I'm pretty sure her sidekick is a monkey"-Doug
" No one asked you tubby, so zip it."
" Call me tubby one more time and I'll hang you out in the tree out back with a bowl full of bananas. Ya got that Monkey Boy?"
" I hear ya loud and clear, Miss Piggy." Arthur walks back downstairs
Chapter 2
In San Diego at the house, in Drake and Josh bedroom.
" Aw man Drake this is so cool, my great uncle Arthur is going to be watching us while mom and dad are away."
" What's so good about an old man staying here sitting around and stinking up the place? That's what we have you here for."
"Ha ha very funny. But no serious Drake I'm telling you, you will love this guy. He is so much fun and tells the best stories."
" And when was the last time you seen this guy?"
" When I was 4. Ok it's been a while but I'm sure he's still the same fun guy he was back then. How much can someone change in 13 years."
Drake starring Josh up and down
"Obviously a lot."
Walter yells up to the boys and Megan
" Hey kids come down here your great uncle Arthur's here."
The kids walk down the stairs and stand in the door way waiting for Arthur. Walter and Audrey open the door to welcome their guest.
" Hey uncle Arthur it's great to see you again." going in for a hug
" Whoa whoa easy there chub-o my boat don't float that way." Then sets his eyes on Audrey
" And who is this angelic gorgeous looking creature? If you're an angel then just call me… God." kissing her hand
(Walter laughing) " Don't you remember? this is my wife Audrey."
" Ah ah ah be a kind man and go pay the driver stretch….Now darling why don't you ditch the tug boat and hop on a speed boat, if your catching my drift." (Arthur winking)
" Yea… well anyways Arthur here is the money were leaving you for food and emergencies. A list of numbers to reach us is on the refrigerator along with the house rules. And most importantly here are the kids. This Is Drake, you already know Josh, and this is Megan." explains Audrey
" I was told I was watching over the children of Blake, Stosh, and baby Devin?"
"Who?"
" Ah never mind I'll do as is." Arthur walks towards Megan
" Little girl I don't change diapers."
" Neither do I." replies Megan
" Ah quiet the mouth on this one. Touché. (talking fiercely) Just remember my dear I fought in World War II and was sole responsible for bringing World War III to end with them damn Canadians. I killed a man with these bare hands and I won't hesitate for a repeat performance. Now look into my eyes, do I look like I'm kidding?… Well do I? Capishe?
" There wasn't a World War III." says Megan confusedly
" I just told you I ended it. (yelling) DOESN'T ANYBODY EVER LISTEN."
" Ok Audrey it's time to get to the airport. Don't want to miss our flight do we? Thanks uncle Arthur we owe you one." says Walter as he re-enters the house
" In that case I'd like you to bring me back some of those fun looking Mickey Ears."
" Actually were going to Paris I don't think they sell Mickey Mouse ears." replies Walter
" Well in that case a French hooker will do.(pushing them out the door) arrivederci."