This Love
By greyeyedgirl really short fic. It's Cristina and Burke, so don't bother reading if you regularly have dreams you're on a ferry boat with Patrick Dempsey.
Cristina sat alone in the on-call room, shaking as she tried to hold back tears. Stop. You are a doctor, stop. You can't cry every time that you lose a patient.
The memory of Burke's face as he said, "You're other apartment," came back to her, and she shook harder. His face might have appeared angry to the untrained eye, but Cristina had looked into his eyes and seen only pain. Betrayal. What the hell was wrong with her?
She was hungry, she realized. She hadn't ate breakfast that morning. She forced herself to stand up off the bed, pushing her hair out of her face. She had to fix this. She had to tell Burke she loved him without saying the actual words.
Food first.
Cristina slid into their apartment a half hour later, dropping her jacket onto the kitchen counter instead of the hook Burke had cleared for her. She set her purse on the table, heading into the bedroom to change into her pajamas.
She'd fixed it, at least. The sound of her landlord's (ex-landlord's) deep voice was still fresh in her mind. At the end of the week, her lease would end, making her officially homeless if her and Burke were to break up. Her safenet was gone.
What was she supposed to do with all her stuff?
She curled up on the chair absent-mindedly, taking hold of her Chinese food and grabbing a blanket. She smiled as she covered her legs with it. Even the chair smelled like Burke, the soft scent of his cologne mixed with a tang of something that smelled like it might be Febreeze.
She poked at her food with the chopsticks, thinking about the patient she'd lost that day. Something Liz, the ex-scrub nurse she'd treated during her first month of the internship, said came into her mind. She'd said something...something about all surgeons remembered the operations they'd scrubbed into, but good surgeons remembered their patients' names. Cristina stabbed at the food with a chopstick, her mind whirling.
Cristina looked up as the door opened, and her heart jumped at the sight of Burke. He looked at her once as he slipped off his coat, revealing the green sweater he'd worn the morning after her second time sleeping at his apartment. It hung loosely over his body, bunched up sexily in one spot above his jeans.
She opened her mouth to speak, trying to think of something to say. He looked pretty angry, as he strode purposefully across the room. "Um..."
He put up a hand to stop her, and she froze. He stared off for a moment, his stoic face serious. His voice came out angry. "I am Preston Burke. A widely-known cardiothorasic surgeon. I am-a professional. And more than that, I am a good and kind person." Cristina stared as he enunciated his words. "I am a person who picks up behind myself. I am a person who cooks well. And you-you are an unbelievable slob." Cristina looked at him with her mouth gaping slightly, feeling uncomfortable about the mess she had left in the kitchen. "A slovenly, angry intern. I am Preston BURKE and you are the most competitive, most guarded, most stubborn, most challenging person I have ever met." He paused for just a second, watching her face. "And I love you. What the hell is the matter with you that you won't just let me?" Cristina stared openly, before forcing herself to swallow the last bit of Chinese food left in her mouth. Her voice was quiet, tentative. "I gave up my apartment 20 minutes ago."
Preston stared at her in slight shock, maybe even embarrassment, but answered quickly. "Well, all right then." He walked quickly out of the room, sliding the door behind him.
Cristina sat silently, staring into her food carton, not even being able to think, for a full 10 minutes. She looked up, startled, when the door slid open. Burke peeked out at her. "Are you coming to bed?"
Cristina gaped at him slightly, but nodded. She snatched up the blanket and, remembering Burke's angry words, threw the remnants of her food away. She entered the door to their bedroom, seeing Burke stripping off his shirt and taking hold of a loose-fitting t-shirt. She shook her hair a little as she crawled into bed, him following her lead and coming in after her.
She settled in under the blanket, tentatively nuzzling up to Burke. He turned his head quickly, kissing her forehead softly. She wrapped an arm around him, leaning her head into his chest. She felt eerily calm, wrapping her leg around to straddle him. Her voice came out in the same tentative, soft tone as before.
"I lost my patient."
Burke turned slightly, wrapping his strong arms around her small frame. "I'm so sorry." His face looked sincere, the anger gone at the feel of her body within his embrace. She snuggled deeper into him. "Are you...mad at me?"
Burke's arms tightened around her, and Cristina felt a rush, feeling safer and more protected than she'd ever been before. "No." She could feel his face grazing softly against her head, feeling her hair. Something hit Cristina about Burke's voice as he continued, as it always did. "I just needed," he said quietly, "To make my peace."
Burke loosened his grip around her, moving his arm down so his hand rested loosely on her waist. "Cristina."
Cristina shook slightly, thinking of the words Burke had said, the words everyone had said, throughout her too-long day. "Yes."
He kissed her cheek so softly and so quickly Cristina thought she might have imagined it. "I meant it. What I said."
Cristina's voice was soft. "I know you did."
She could feel Burke's tentative silence, and she wondered quietly if he'd say anything. "Oh," he said quietly after a long silence.
Cristina rubbed her fingers lightly against his stomach, her hand resting gently under his shirt. She heard Burke's breath catch softly. "I don't...I said it back."
Burke rested his chin against her cheek, bending his head towards her, his face slightly confused. "Sorry?"
"I heard you. When you thought I was asleep. Before."
Burke closed his eyes, breathing softly. "Ohhhh," he whispered.
"Then...when you were sleeping...after the bomb...I said it back."
Burke felt his face break out into a grin, he kissed the side of her face gently. "That was very sneaky of you, Dr. Yang."
Cristina squeezed her arms tightly, gathering him into a stronger embrace. "I had good dreams that night," Burke whispered.
Cristina smiled, bending her head back into his chest. Burke ran his fingers over her hair absentmindedly, leaning his head to kiss her forehead.
"I love you Cristina."
Cristina felt her fingers linger on his stomach. "I love you, too, Burke."