Notes:

-Card Captor Sakura and its characters are so not mine. They belong to CLAMP and their associates. Absolutely no profit was earned from this fic.

-This fanfic has EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT and is not to be read by people under 18 years of age. You have been warned.

-This is a companion piece to "50 Shades of Eriol". It helps to have read that but you don't actually have to. This is also not strictly an adaptation of 50 Shades of Grey, which I have not read or watched. Hell, this whole thing was born out of wanting to make smut with that title for Eriol and Tomoyo. Isn't the creative process grrrr-eat?

-The synth-pop of Carly Rae's Emotion album captured a kind of playful sexiness that I wanted to espouse through Tomoyo in this particular installment. Key emotional notes were guided by particular songs, which are quoted at the start of each chapter. That much, I'll impose on the reader.

-Absolutely amazed by the small yet devoted tribe I've found on twitter that encouraged full readable lemonade with this one: lovelovelove Oui, The Dove Tailor, ravynash, and Invisiboy.

-Feedback always welcome via reviews or e-mail at psychoshoujo at gmail dot com.

Part 1: Emotion

Prologue: A Letter from Kahou Mizuki to Tomoyo Daidouji, written the year before

Dear Tomoyo-chan,

Thank you for your letter. I am sorry for not writing sooner. Like you, I am also traveling. A lot has happened and I have had to find myself too – what with Eriol relinquishing his powers and Sakura becoming the new master of the cards. I am sorry to not have caught you when you visited the Reed Manor, but perhaps that is for the best.

By the time you get this, I know you would have fully explored Reed Manor and uncovered its other secrets. No worries, I am not nor would I ever be upset with you, Tomoyo-chan. It is what it is.

While they say it takes two to create a ruckus, I feel in this case it was my fault that I had to leave the manor. I am the reason for the secrets that Eriol has uncovered, and as word of warning to you, he is not the boy he used to be. He would have been a better person if I had not pushed him about Clow's other secrets.

But I also know that whatever should happen, you are a girl pure of heart, and maybe that will get Eriol back.

I am sorry to ask, but can this be the last time we speak of him? As a heart heals, it needs to be filled with new people and experiences. Like now, I write this from Bali in Indonesia where I've gotten a job at a local international school. It's a beautiful golden sunset as I write, and while the dorm I stay in is very tiny, it has a wonderful view of the mountains. The energy here is playful, it's like we can play with the light.

I write this in hopes that the energy of the place I'm in now is shared with you. I admit that when you wrote me about having been to England, I was saddened. But as I kept writing, and notice how everything around me basks in gold light, I am happy again.

Be happy, Tomoyo, always.

Till our next letter.

Sincerely,

Kaho Mizuki

"In your head and I won't stop

until you forget me, get me, not!

In your fantasy, dream about me,

and all that we could do with this emotion."

-Carly Rae Jepsen, 'Emotion'

My name is Eriol Hiiragizawa. I am my own work, I study magic, and am keeper of the history of Clow Reed and the ancient magicians. I am usually based in England, but after some years, I am visiting the country of my birth – Japan. Some good friends, Syaoran and Sakura, are getting married, and I am looking forward to their ceremony.

Another friend from school, Yamazaki-kun, picks me up at the airport. I could have easily rented a car, but he insisted on getting me with Chiharu in tow. He chats all the way, bringing me up to speed about how weddings are such a big deal in Japan and all the symbolic ceremonies that should be attached to it. I indulge him – this was why we were friends after all. Even I noticed that Chiharu, his longtime girlfriend and now fiancee, did not butt in as the ceremonies became more and more exaggerated.

They drop me off at the Royal Daidouji Hotel – a hotel owned by Tomoyo, another dear friend, and the place where the wedding would be held in three days. I check in without any trouble and head up to my suite.

The suite really lived up to the hotel name – it was grand, with chandeliers and pillars and all sorts of things enjoyed by majesties. To think that I only asked for a small suite, where there was a room for guests adjoining the bedroom and a large bathroom. I liked having space, it just frees up the mind.

My bags are brought to my room, and the bellboys leave. As I hear them leave I reach for the button of my shirt, ready to undo it so I could take a bath, but I hear someone enter. I turn and see Tomoyo – dressed in what looked like a party dress with a tulle skirt and heeled shoes. My face softens. I had not seen Tomoyo in about a year, and I have been neglect in replying to her messages.

Tomoyo closes the door behind her. She smiles.

"Hello!" I greeted warmly, and open my arms so I could embrace her.

But instead, she slaps me across the face.

I am taken aback at the sting, and my hand raises up to my cheek.

"Welcome back, Eriol-kun!" She chirps. "You bastard, having not written in over a year and putting off replying to my messages on LINE!" The words were such a contrast from her happy exterior. I open my mouth, meaning to reply, but she marched towards me. "Why? Eriol? Why wouldn't you be in touch? That's just rude!"

I could have thought of a quick little spell to deflect her, but I found myself shrinking and backing away from her.

"Why?!" Her smile dropped to a scowl now, "I thought we were friends!" She shoved me.

"We are!" I piped up, and caught her hands before she could hit me again. "We are...but I just... I had been playing with things, and they occupied my attention for a while. I didn't mean for you to think that we wouldn't be friends, Tomoyo-chan."

Tomoyo shoved me again, putting space between us. "That could have been one message, Eriol! One cursed message, and I wouldn't be as angry as I am now!"

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Tomoyo-chan..." I held out my arms to her. "Please, Tomoyo, forgive me."

She rubbed her eyes, her gaze wet with emotion – more anger than anything.

"I'm here now, Tomoyo. And I'll make up for that lost time."

"You're going to have to do more than that to do such a thing, Hiiragizawa." Her voicy was smoky, almost threatening. She pinned me against the wall. "See, when we last saw each other...you coaxed me to show how I truly feel..." Her fingernails were longer than I remembered, and she used the tip of her nail to trail down my face. I gulped. "This is why I choose not to get angry, Eriol-kun. If you were a village, I would have set you on fire and I'd sing songs of joy as you burned to the ground."

Then her mouth was over mine. I gasped, and let her kiss me. It was rough, her tongue moving over mine, her face angled so she could fully explore my mouth with her tongue. I gave a groan, and I kissed her back, but she pulled away, with one last bite on my lip before disengaging.

Ah, yes. This girl used to be a sweetheart, and she was my sub from a year ago.

Used to? No, she was a sweetheart, just not to me at that very moment.

And I liked it. The tugging feeling down in my crotch acknowledged that thought.

"What should I do to appease you, Tomoyo-chan?" I asked her.

"I will decide how you will make up for the time you robbed from me." Her voice was back to that syrupy sweet tone, but the cutting gleam in her eye showed she meant business. "You're going to rest tonight, and I'll see you tomorrow. Be prepared, Hiiragizawa." She undid my buttons as she spoke, and trailed her finger up to my chin again. She fixed her gaze on mine. "Don't overexert yourself."

She stepped away, and walked towards the door without a look back.

As the door slammed, I was left alone in the room. I was shaken, but I somehow found my footing and continued to change out of my clothes for a much needed bath. Clothes discarded, I went naked to fill the tub, mulling over Tomoyo as I did. What a contrast from our last contact, I mused – when I had her tied down, and put some force upon her for a blow job. Before that, she had cooperated as I tied her to a bed and alternated between fucking her and whipping her behind.

When we left, I had a sense that she needed to be alone for a bit longer. She had admitted to running away from Japan on a whim, feeling like it was too secure and too certain for her. I had known that when she asked to stay over at the Reed Manor. It was also why I extended the invitation to more...intimate gatherings, as one would say.

The tub was filled, and I closed the tap. But I took a moment before I climbed in.

"Tomoyo-chan," I whispered. I could feel myself growing hard again, as memories of her flooded in. I sat by the tub, on the floor of the bathroom. I started to touch myself, remembering, pools of her dark eyes meeting my gaze. Her soft skin against my own. The way her lean body pressed against me, urging me to take her. Her wetness, her tightness. What if? I wondered - What if she hadn't left me? She'd be here with me now, in the tub, and I'd be more than happy to oblige her. Ahh, how her hair felt in my grasp, and how her slender legs felt as it wrapped around me.

I wouldn't mind feeling that again.

I came, and feeling the slick cum on my hand, I slowly stood up to wash it off then climbed into the bath.

After I bathed, I dried off and headed back to the room. The screen of my phone was lit – there were three missed calls and a handful of messages. One was from Sakura: welcoming me back to Japan and excited to see me. But the rest? Tomoyo.

"Eriol-kun. Whatever it is you are doing, it is coming at a most inappropriate time," read the first message. I looked at the time stamp – it was from twenty minutes ago, while I was in the bathroom, before my bath.

Another message from her, about five minutes after,

"Hot. Wet. Stop what you are doing."

And another,

"You could have waited just a bit longer. I type this after I had to pleasure myself in a locked office. You will pay dearly for this, Eriol-kun. See you tomorrow."

To be continued in Part 2: Black Heart