Author's Note: This is a rewrite of my previous story The Weasley Twins Find Out. I was looking over all of my previous fanfics and while I was doing so, I realized how awful they were in comparison to all my newer works. So I've decided to rewrite them before I can go back to my in-progress stories I have yet to complete.
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize. Much to my displeasure.
Edit: 7/14/12: I only changed a couple of things. Still don't own Harry Potter or the Marauders. :(
The weather was marvelous today. The sun was shining and there were only a few wispy clouds in the sky. Birds were chirping happily and butterflies were flitting from tree to tree. In the background, you could hear the sound of children laughing and playing in Grimmauld Park.
Yes, it was beautiful on Grimmauld Place. Except for Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, for it was raining inside Number Twelve Grimmauld Place.
Yes, you didn't read that wrong, inside Number Twelve. That's not possible you say? Well of course it is! Oh, Number Twelve Grimmauld Place is inhabited by witches and wizards and a particularly deranged house elf. Did I forget to mention that?
From inside Grimmauld Place, you could hear very angry yelling coming from one Severus Snape.
"BLACK! LUPIN! WEASLEY! WEASLEY!" he yelled, and then sputtered because a few soap bubbles got into his mouth and left a very bad sort of taste.
Fred and George Weasley didn't know why Snape was yelling for Sirius and Lupin. Yelling for them they could understand, this is just the type of thing they would do.
Storm clouds were pouring rain down on all those currently within the house. The rain however, didn't seem like normal rain.
When the rain first started, Fred and George were in the Library doing research for Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes. They looked up confused for a moment and then Fred stuck his tongue out. It was raining butterbeer in the library!
But in the hallways, the rain caused your hair to turn different, obnoxious colors. And in the kitchen, the rain, when ingested, caused you to speak in pig Latin for five minutes.
It was brilliant spell work. Inspired! They wish they had thought of it.
The Twins considered hiding from Snape's rage until this all blew over was a tempting idea but when their mother called to them, even more enraged, the trudged downstairs because resistance against their mother was pointless and always ended in them getting an even worse punishment.
"Yes?" Fred asked them with a genuinely innocent(ish) expression on his face. It helped that he was actually innocent at the time.
Looking at Molly Weasley when she was acting kind and motherly and looking at her know, you could see major differences. One of the more prominent differences was that Molly now sported acid green hair.
"UNDO THIS!" she shrieked and waved her hands emphasizing her point.
"We would, dear mother-"George started.
"But unfortunately, we are unable to." Said Fred.
"While this prank is as impressive as we are good looking –"
"It is not our doing,"'
"For once."
Their mother raised an eyebrow at them and pursed her lips; she obviously did not believe them, with good reason.
"I know who did this." Said an angry voice from behind them. It was Snape.
Fred and George had to bite their lips to prevent them from laughing at him. It seems that a type of rain was reserved solely for the surly Severus Snape. Pink foam slid down his hair and dripped down onto the floor with a plop that somehow managed to sound mocking. The cloud was raining shampoo! Oh, they must learn who did this; whoever they were, they were brilliant.
"Yes, I do too." Mrs. Weasley said while glaring at the Twins. They weren't sure whether the violent shade of green the hair currently was lessened the ferocity the glare held or increased it.
"It wasn't them. It was-" but a gleeful voice interrupted Snape.
"Us!" Sirius exclaimed joyfully as he walked into the room. Lupin was a few steps behind him and was shaking his head with a mixture of exasperation and fondness.
"It was mostly you though." Lupin pointed out.
"You helped." Sirius responded in a sing song voice.
"You were looking so sad and pathetic with you whining and begging. 'Remus, I'm bored.' 'Remus, can I prank Snivelly, please?' 'Remus, just let me out, just once. I'll go out as a dog, please.' 'Remus, just let me kick Kreacher, just once.' I had to humor you or you would have driven me insane."
"You were already insane. It was practically a prerequisite for us. And that was a completely inaccurate impersonation of me. My voice is not that high-pitched. "Sirius complained as Lupin simply rolled his eyes at his oldest friend.
"Black! Lupin! Undo this!" Snape seethed with barely contained rage and anger.
"I agree! Reverse this rain! Right now!" Mrs. Weasley said firmly.
Sirius and Lupin looked at each other for a moment and seemed to have a silent conversation, and then the both nodded, though Sirius looked a bit reluctant.
"Fine." Sirius pouted.
"Even to this day I am still amazed by your ability to act like a child." Lupin said and Snape muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "…I'm not…"
Lupin sighed, yet again, and with a simple flick of his wand, the rain instantly disappeared. It was replaced with a shining, bright light that didn't seem to have a source and simply emanated from the air all around them, causing everyone to see spots and blink repeatedly. Lupin smirked and Sirius laughed. Snape muttered something about never changing and disapparated
"I had forgotten about that little side effect." Sirius said.
"Remus! I told you to undo the spell!" Mrs. Weasley yelled.
"I did. This is an unfortunate side effect to the countercurse." Lupin said with a small, apologetic smile on his face.
Mrs. Weasley opened her mouth to retort but a sudden crash interrupted her.
"Ahh, Mum, I've gone blind!" Ron yelled.
"Now you know how I feel without my glasses. So help me find them!" they heard Harry's voice say.
"How can I do that when I've been blinded by the sun?" Ron retorted.
"Oh stop over exaggerating. You're not blind. And that is obviously not the sun. It just some bright, white light. Perhaps it's an enhanced version of lumos." Hermione stated matter-of-factly.
"That won't help me regain my sight!"
"Nor mine."
The trio walked into the sitting room where everyone was standing. Well, Hermione walked in with a pair of black tinted glasses on her face, Ron and Harry stumbled around blindly.
"Who did this? Was it Fred and George? I'll kill 'em." Ron said.
"I'd like to see you try." Fred challenged.
"Remus! Sirius! Fix this!" Mrs. Weasley said.
"Sorry, Molly, it has to wear off." Lupin smiled apologetically. "I really am sorry. Sirius roped me into it. I know that is no excuse. While I was trying to talk him out of it, he talked me into it. I never meant to hurt or inconvenience anyone. At the time I thought it would be fun." He took out his wand and turned her hair back to its original bright red color. "My apologies, once more." He finished sincerely.
The look on Mrs. Weasley's face softened. "It alright Remus. How long will this take to wear off?"
"An hour?" he said.
"Well, I suppose we could deal with it for an hour." Mrs. Weasley said. Then she turned to Sirius the stern expression back. "As for you, Sirius Black, you should be ashamed of what you did to Severus. It's one thing to prank the whole lot of us harmlessly, it's an entirely other thing to purposefully make the entire experience worse for Severus just because you don't like him. And to drag poor Remus into it…" Sirius and the twins gaped at her while Remus smirked mischievously. She shook her head a left.
"I don't know whether to call you brilliant or an arse." Sirius said.
"Call me both. You did at Hogwarts." Lupin shrugged.
"I can't believe it." Fred said, awestruck.
"You managed to talk our mother out of being angry at you and into thinking you were just another victim." George said with wide eyes.
"We've been trying to do that for years." They said in unison, staring (or at least trying to) at Lupin like he was some sort of god.
"Bloody miracle worker, you are." Ron said to a house plant.
"That's nothing compared to what he accomplished at Hogwarts." Sirius said dismissively .
"Sirius, don't." Lupin said.
"What? Worried that it'll ruin your wise and intelligent professor image?" Sirius mocked lightly. Lupin opened his mouth but Sirius just kept on talking.
"Once, in 2nd year, when his goody two shoes image was firmly cemented into the minds of all of the teachers, he somehow managed to get a hold of pictures of McGonagall from her school days (she was drunk in half of them) and posted them all over the school. When she went after us, we told her Remus did it and you know what she said?" Sirius asked the Twins and the Trio, who were staring at Lupin in a whole new light.
"She said 'Remus Lupin? Don't be ridiculous! He's an angel compared to you two. How dare you accuse a perfectly innocent student of you misdeeds. Detention for two weeks, both of you! And ten points from Gryffindor! Take those pictures down!" Sirius shook his head at the memory.
"Wow!" was the collective response to that story except from Hermione, she looked positively scandalized.
"And this other time," Sirius continued. "Peeves was annoying Remus with that loony, loopy song. So Remus pulls out his wand in the middle of a crowded corridor and-"
"That's enough Sirius. If my memory serves me well, you did much worse stuff than I did." Lupin interrupted.
"That may be true, but I almost never got away with it." Sirius said.
"You have got to teach us how to do that." The Twins said. Lupin smiled wryly.
"Sorry, boys, but you are two notorious troublemakers. No one would believe you were innocent if you two suddenly sprouted wings and acquired halos."
The twins nodded in agreement to his point and stored the little halo quip in their brains. Now there's an idea. (What would they be called? Angelic appetizers?)
"You know, you guys." Harry started. "I think Sirius and Lupin have got you beat in the best prankster position."
The twins gasped as the remaining Marauders smirked, "How dare you!" the Twins said outraged.
"You doubt our skills?" Sirius said.
"Well, not to insult you but-"George started
"You're old." Fred said bluntly.
"This was an admirable effort to reclaim you're lost youth-"
"But you're old."
Lupin raised an eyebrow and Sirius protested in outrage. "We're barely forty!"
Now it was the twins' turn to raise their eyebrows.
Before this turned into an argument over Sirius's old age Harry quickly spoke up.
"How about a prank war! The person who has performed the most impressive prank by this time next week will win the title of Best Magical Mischief Makers."
"Brilliant idea, Harry, didn't know you had it in you." Fred said.
"Come, dear brother, let us plan the two geezers' downfall."
And they apparated out with a loud crack.
"This will be brilliant!" Sirius yelled. He looked happier than anyone had seen in a long time.
"This will be horrible!" Hermione moaned into her hands. "This house will be in ruins by the end of the week."
"We can only hope!" Sirius said happily. "Come on, Moony, we have a proper Marauder Prank Week to plan. Oh, we haven't had one in nearly fourteen years." Sirius said giddily as he dragged Lupin by the arm, who was not looking as distressed by the upcoming prank war as Hermione thought he should have, upstairs.
There was a pause in conversation.
"Oh, Harry! I found your glasses."
"Thanks Hermione." Harry said and was finally able to see…the shining light that caused him to promptly go blind once more.
"How long did Lupin say this would last?" Ron said to a painting of a bowl of fruit.
"An hour." Harry said.
"Great!" Ron sighed.
The following week was one of the best or worse week in everyone's life, depending on who you asked.
On day one, the Marauders woke up in frilly, dresses that could be removed… only to find a pinker and frillier dress underneath. The Twins woke up as the opposite gender. That was one awkward and hilarious breakfast.
Day two resulted in very shatter ear drums for the Twins and Sirius (Lupin once again, talked his way out of punishment and into a plate of brownies.) because they the Marauders cursed everyone to speak in limericks for the whole day and the twins caused put a potion into everyone's drinks that caused everyone to dance from place to place. It was quite a sight to see Molly Weasley yelling at them in limerick from while doing the electric slide.
There were once some foolish little boys,
Who thought life was all games and toys,
But they were so wrong,
And if this curse lasts for long,
I will personally destroy all your joys.
Day three entailed a lot of singing as the twins decided to curse everyone in the house to sing about their lives, their song writing was aided by Remus's and Sirius prank to make everyone rhyme for the whole day.
"Here I am, face to face, with a situation…"
"I can't defeat thee, so please don't eat me…"
"So many assholes in this place, so many assholes in my face…"
"I'm the smartest girl I've ever met…"'
"Why can't you see, what you're doing to me."
Day four, five, and six were relatively calm the worst that was done was a sleeping potion in everyone's drinks and when they woke up and hour later, they all had writing's on their faces. It seems that they were gearing up for the final day.
What continues to baffle the trio was that the Twins didn't realize that their opponents were the Marauders.
Day 7
It was a relatively calm morning in Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, but everyone was on edge. It was the final day of a week-long prank war between the Twins and Sirius (as far as Mrs. Weasley was concerned) and the other inhabitants of Twelve Grimmauld Place were both waiting in anticipation and anxiety.
The pranks that they were all worried about took place during dinner.
Five minutes after everyone sat down and still nothing had happened. And then…
"AHHHH!" Was the general out cry from the twins.
"You look like Snape!" they said in unison. Then they looked down at their dark attire and greasy hair that they did not have before and yelled again. Sirius and Lupin were in stitches until they got a look at each other. Then they echoed the Twins earlier sentiments.
"You look like Lucius Malfoy!" Sirius yelled.
"You look like Draco Malfoy!" Lupin said. They looked at their now blond hair and screamed again.
The entire table was laughing. Not at them, but the expressions on their (or rather Draco Malfoy's, Lucius Malfoy's, and Severus Snape's faces.)
After another moment of screaming from the Marauders, they suddenly got evil grins on their faces.
"Quick, get a camera." Sirius said. Lupin obliged and summoned a camera and also several dresses and hats and jewelry from who knows where. They put the things on and started taking pictures in the dresses and in ridiculous poses all the while saying things like:
"Oh, look at me! I'm Lucius Malfoy and I carry around a cane which clearly means that I am an old geezer who is compensating for something."
"Ooh, I'm Draco and I'm a git. I love rainbows and unicorns and dresses and they don't look weird on me at all because I look like a girl."
"I'm obsessed with peacocks, do with that what you will."
"Look at me, I'm belly dancing."
"Stop it! Stop it! I've busted my liver! You'll have to get me a new one George!" Fred said through his hysterical laughter. Everyone was laughing hysterically, especially Mr. Weasley.
"As long as you get me a spleen."
"The Marauders win!" Harry gasped.
"By a mile!" Ron said. Hermione tried to say something but couldn't get it out through her giggles.
Fred and George froze.
"Did you say the Marauders?" They shouted.
"Yeah! They're the Marauders. Moony and Padfoot! Can't believe you didn't know! Ow, my gut." Hermione said.
"They're the Marauders! You're the Marauders!" Fred and George asked wildly.
"No! We're the gits formally known as the Malfoys." Sirius, er, Draco Malfoy, said. Lupin chuckled.
"All joking aside, yes we are the Marauders, I'm Moony and Sirius is Padfoot. How do you know about the Marauders?" he asked curiously.
"We had your Map!"
"It's brilliant! You're the reason for our success!"
"You're our inspiration!"
"We've referred to you as gods more than once!"
"If we're ever stuck on a prank, we would as 'what would the Marauders do?'"
"You're the reason we thought of creating a joke shop!" By this time the Twins were kneeling and bowing at the Marauders feet.
"Well, this is flattering." Lupin noted.
"I've always wanted to see Snape bowing at my feet." Sirius said wistfully. "Now there are two of them."
"Teach us great masters."
"We are not worthy to be even lying in your presences."
"We hope that this week has shown how dedicated we are to the cause of spreading mischief and you would take us on as your apprentices."
"Okay, now this is slightly disturbing." Lupin said.
"Arise young disciples and submit yourselves to our judgment." Sirius said solemnly, the only trace of laughter was a twitch of his lips.
"You are getting way too into this." Lupin murmured.
"Shut it, Moony, this is way too much fun." He muttered back.
"I thought you would be used to having fangirls. You had your own fan club at Hogwarts."
"Well, these two can be molded into our image. Besides, you had a fan club too." Sirius turned to the Twins. The rest of the inhabitants looked at them in amusement (yes, even Mrs. Weasley and Hermione.)
"You have shown your worth as pranksters from this week and from what Messer Moony has told me about your exploits at Hogwarts, two have been quite the pillars of mayhem at Hogwarts."
"Indeed, Messer Padfoot. I have looked into the twins' detention record and they are two weeks of detentions away to meeting our record, and there were four of us!" Lupin said with a twinkle in his eye not unlike Albus Dumbledore's.
The Twins swelled in pride at that while Mrs. Weasley swelled in anger. She would have to have a talk with them later.
"Judging from what we've heard and seen and after a discussion about your abilities and potential, we have agreed." Lupin said.
"That you are worthy successors of the true Marauders." Sirius said. The Twins nearly burst in happiness.
"All you need to do is say the oath."
The Marauders didn't even need to tell them what the oath was.
"We solemnly swear that we are up to no good." They said in unison.
(For anyone interested, the change in there appearances wore off in the middle of all of that madness. Though Remus and Sirius were still in the dresses. After everyone picked themselves off the floor, they went to bed, too tired from their attack of mirth. Well, except for the Marauders [for the Twins are Marauders now] they all convened in Sirius's room to discuss pranks and nicknames.
Remus showed them pictures of all their triumphs and discussed the fallen Marauders, James Potter also known as Prongs, and Peter Pettigrew also known as Wormtail [well, who Wormtail was.]
They haven't felt this happy in a long time…)
Wow, a little over 3,000 words. This is my longest one-shot yet. Now those song lyrics I used for the Day 3 prank are not my own. If you can properly tell where I got them, I you will win, absolutely nothing other than knowing you've got a fellow S****** fan writing fanfics. And even if you don't know, I challenge you to guess who's singing which lyric.
Go forth, and in the name of the Marauders, solemnly swear to be up to no good.