Celebrating four years on Fanfic...

"What's all this?"

Dawn and May glanced up from opposite ends of the room. Each was balanced precariously on a chair, reaching out with streamers and tape towards the walls. "It's a party," May replied, returning to her work.

Misty frowned as she watched them decorate. "For what?"

"For the author," Dawn said. She stood on the toes of one foot, her other leg stuck out for balance, and reached up towards the ceiling with her streamer and tape.

A very confused Misty stared at her. "What author?"

"You know," Leaf called. She appeared from in the kitchen, a pair of oven mitts tucked in the crook of her arm. "That one." Something beeped, and Leaf hurried back out of sight.

Misty's brow furrowed, desperately trying to think of an author. She did not know many authors, unless you wanted to count Daisy writing stupid water show scripts. Which Misty did not.

Abruptly, the front door burst open. "Hey!" Drew's voice floated over to them. "I could use some help here!"

May immediately jumped off her chair and rushed to assist the pompous Coordinator. Misty stared after her until she reappeared with Drew. Each was holding several boxes of Old Chicago pizza.

Time and again, Misty had wondered where Chicago was. She had looked at maps of every region and been unable to find it. So, because it was clearly mythical pizza, Misty was not a huge fan of it. Even though it tasted really, really good.

"Six Meat Me pizzas from Old Chicago," Drew announced. He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket, grabbed a pen off the counter, and crossed something out. "Check."

"Cake's done!" Leaf called from the kitchen. She materialized from the kitchen with the cake in her mitt-covered hands, hurrying to set the pan on the counter beside the pizzas.

Drew glanced at his list again. "One 'best chocolate cake' cake with cream cheese icing," he stated. He looked at the cake. "Where's the icing?"

Leaf scowled. "It just came out of the oven. There's no icing on it yet."

"I'm still super confused," Misty told them all. Naturally, they ignored her, as people planning parties are known to do.

The front door slammed shut again. "Wassup, everyone?" came the unmistakable sound of Ash's voice. "I have chips!"

"No dip?" Dawn yelled.

"No dip!" Ash shouted back.

Dawn breathed a sigh of relief. "Good," she said. "I was worried he might have gotten dip." With that, she stuck another streamer on the wall and jumped off her chair.

Misty gaped at her. "Who the hell doesn't eat chips with dip!" she said incredulously.

"The author," Drew answered.

It took all Misty's self control to not throw her hands in the air. "Who's the author?" she demanded for like the ninth time. Okay, more like second or something, but you all get it.

Drew cocked his head at her, bewildered. "You mean you don't know?"

The doorbell rang, and Dawn yelled, "Come in!" Ash had joined her at the counter and was helping her pour all the chips into bowls. Misty noted they were all either Nacho Cheese Doritos or Lays Salt and Vinegar.

What awful flavors.

Suddenly, a herd of people pushed past Misty, nearly knocking her down. Misty cried out in protest, hoping to get someone's attention or at least an apology, but she received neither.

Also, who the hell were all these people?

She recognized a few, vaguely, from her journeys with Ash, and a lot of them were easily recognized. But who were those guys in the tennis uniforms? Seigaku? What did that mean? And the really, really, really gorgeous guys in purple uniforms? Their jackets read "Ouran." What was that?

And oh dear God. Who was that creeper in the corner? With that weird, hunched pose and those tired eyes? And who was the hunky brunet in the suit next to him?

Misty tore her eyes from the hunk and kept looking around. On the opposite end of the spectrum, two small boys with geometrical faces were standing together. One was quite talkative, while the other remained silent. His green hair reminded her of Drew.

Next to them, a trio of teenagers stood, consisting of two boys and a girl. One of the boys was distinctly ginger, while the other had jet black hair and glasses. The girl had bushy brown hair and an annoyed expression on her face at something the ginger was saying. Misty felt she could relate to her.

"I got the guests!" Gary gasped, stumbling through the hordes of people. Leaf appeared out of nowhere and helped him through, a bit of icing on her face.

"Excellent. I'm almost done with the frosting," she told him. Leaf patted Gary's head pitifully. "Do you want to come lick the spoon?"

Gary nodded sadly. "Yes," he said in a small voice.

"Excuse me," someone said, and Misty turned around in fright. A man in a bowtie and tweed jacket was looking at her worriedly. He gestured to the giant blue box behind him. "Is there a place I can park this? I don't want her to be in the way."

"Oi!" snapped a woman with curly blond hair who was standing by the box.

"Not you, River!" the man yelled back, annoyed.

Misty just shook her head. "I have no clue," she said honestly. Realizing she knew no one here, and that those mentioned above weren't even half of the people attending, Misty went with her last resort. "DAWN!" she yelled.

Dawn seemed to pop out of thin air. "Yeah?" she asked.

"Who the hell are these people?" Misty demanded.

"They were on the author's guest list," Dawn replied. "I don't know half of them." She pointed. "But that girl is starlight dreams. And the Bosnian Bombshell? That's Amber Ice Fox. They're regulars here."

Misty blinked several times and suddenly realized she did not know where she was. "Where is here?" she questioned.

"The Special Reservation Party Lounge," Dawn explained. "Or the Syrup Lounge."

"What?"

"Syrup," said Dawn. "You know, SRP? It sounds like syrup."

Misty shook her head to clear it, having lost her focus. "Okay, whatever. But who's this author person?"

Looking around warily, Dawn leaned in close. "No one knows," she whispered.

"Huh?" Misty said in shock.

"No one's ever actually seen her," Dawn went on. "There are a lot of rumors going around, but really, no one is sure who she is."

Confused, Misty looked around at the extravaganza around her. "And we're throwing her this party… even though we don't know her?"

"Pretty much!" said Dawn happily. Suddenly, her voice dropped to a whisper. "Wanna hear some of the rumors?"

With a shrug, Misty leaned closer. Might as well decipher what she could.

Dawn grinned widely at the prospect of gossip. "Well, we all know she's a girl based on outright statements she's made, but there's also a lot of talk on whether or not she's human."

This was too much for Misty to take seriously. She leaned away from Dawn, her eyes narrowed skeptically. "Really."

"Yeah!" Dawn exclaimed. "Someone said she's a fish! Can you imagine? A fish!"

"That's pretty astounding," Misty agreed sarcastically.

"And then I heard that she's schizophrenic," Dawn went on.

"Uh huh. Sure." Misty glanced around. "Hey, where's Paul?"

Somehow, over all the noise, the sound of a door slamming was heard. "Paul!" Dawn cried eagerly, and she booked it to the front door giddily.

Ash appeared beside Misty. "This is gonna be fun," he said to her. "I mean, how many fish get parties?"

Misty stared at him for a solid minute before Ash realized her gaze. "What?" he said innocently.

Misty just turned around and walked away.

Walked straight into Paul, actually.

"Watch where you're going," Paul snapped gruffly. He rearranged the boxes in his arms and continued walking.

Misty just gaped after him and the boxes.

Actually, boxes of fireworks.

"Fireworks?" Misty nearly shouted, but the noise wouldn't have made any difference anyways.

Suddenly, there was silence.

Utterly confused, Misty turned around to see what had pushed the party's mute button.

And found herself unworthy to see.

The Author stood at the entrance to the party room, glowing so brightly she was little more than a silhouette. She stepped forward, and the awe-inspiring light faded dramatically. A short brunette stood before them, her eyes outlined with dark circles. Her short, curly hair was pulled back by a clip, messy and sticking out all around her head.

"Well!" the Author said loudly, and she may as well have been on stage, even though she was significantly shorter than all of them. "It's a party, isn't it? We're celebrating four years of Fanfiction, ladies and gents. Bring out the Pokemon! Set off the fireworks! Someone do contortionism and bring me a slice o' that there cake!" She clapped her hands twice, and a grand throne appeared beneath her. "Go on, then!" she urged. "Allons-y!"

It was as if she had flicked the on switch. Loud, rockin' music played through the room. Misty recognized the music of Muse and other similar bands. She watched as the teenage trio from earlier approached the Author in her chair and bestow something upon her head.

A golden crown shaped like a giant-lipped fish now rested on the Author's skull.

One by one, the guests approached her. They left their gifts much like churchgoers leaving offerings, kneeling at her feet (which did not touch the ground) and depositing their gifts before her.

Misty felt deeply saddened and a little panicky when she realized she had nothing to give the Author. Terrified, Misty got in line behind Bowtie Man, fully prepared to come clean with the Author.

When it was her turn, Misty knelt at the Author's feet and lowered her head. "Forgive me, Author," she stated loud and clear, "for I have not brought a present to give you on this fine day."

A ripple of shock ran through the audience. Misty winced, expecting sting of the Author's hand, but instead got a gentle tap on the shoulder. "Rise, Misty," the Author said in a powerful voice, "for I know how you can correct this treachery."

"Anything!" Misty shouted.

The Author glanced to her left. Misty followed her gaze, seeing Ash wave at her supportively from the crowd.

"You have to kiss Ash Ketchum."

Misty froze. "What?"

"It's my party!" the Author stated happily. "If I want Pokeshipping, I'm gonna get it!" She looked around. "And while we're at it, let's get some Ikari, Contest, and OldRival going too. I'd mention my other ships involving all my guests, but this is a Pokemon fic, and I think it'd be too much of a crossover if I did."

The Syrup Lounge was quiet for a long while, until someone started clapping. "Praise the Author!" cheered one of the boys in Ouran jackets.

"Yes, praise the Author!" a man in a bat suit countered. Misty stared at him. Batman?

"We are not worthy to be in your presence!" several others chanted.

Misty could not believe what was happening. Had she been acting like them just a moment ago? Disgusting! She stared around in utter disbelief, unable to take in everything that was happening, until abruptly something was on her mouth.

"Mmph!" Misty shrieked, and she forced whatever it was off. "Ash?" she yelped.

Ash frowned. "What?" he asked, his eyes innocent again.

"What the hell was that?" Misty could not stop gaping at him. Not how she had wanted to lose her first kiss…

"The Author said we must kiss," Ash told her, as if this were obvious.

Misty was utterly shocked. "And you listened to her?"

Ash's face grew serious. "The Author's word is law," he said quietly.

"You must obey the Author."

Misty jumped. One of the boys in the tennis uniform had materialized beside her, looking down at her with his electric blue eyes. Before, his face had been set in a small, happy smile. Now it was hard to imagine they were the same person. Misty swallowed.

The boy with black hair and glasses was suddenly behind her. "You know what happens when you don't listen to the Author, don't you?" He produced a long, slender stick from his pocket and held it at Misty's throat menacingly.

"She controls us, Misty," Ash stated. "We must obey."

"We're not even her characters!" Misty cried. She paused. Why had she just referred to them all as characters? They were all living, breathing human beings, weren't they? Not just playthings of a bored teenage girl! "Wait—!"

Misty broke off as something exploded overhead. She looked up to see the ceiling had vanished, revealing the starry night sky. Where did the ceiling go? What the hell was—?

Something rocketed into the air with a whistling scream. It exploded high in the sky, showering the night with glorious green and purple sparks. The explosion seemed to fill up the whole sky. Everyone ooh-ed and ah-ed, while Misty just gazed heavenwards, unable to make a sound. How? How had the Author done this?

Soon the sky was no longer black, it was so full of fireworks. Misty got the feeling she was in a nightclub, with all the weird light and loud music. People danced together, having a good time. She swore she saw Paul and Dawn sneak off to some secluded corner, but she could not be sure.

Somehow, Misty wound up by the Author's throne.

Misty tried to make a break for it, but too late. The Author had seen her. "Misty!" the Author greeted warmly. She patted the arm of her throne. "Come here, come here, sit with me!"

The poor redhead had no choice. Grimacing, Misty clambered onto a very tall stool that had suddenly popped up beside the Author. "Sup," she greeted.

"Isn't this a great party?" the Author said happily.

"I don't know how you did it," Misty said icily, "but this isn't right. I mean, Ash kissed me. That should not have happened." She scowled. "It was totally non-canon." Frowning, Misty reflected on her word choice. What was canon?

The Author shrugged. "Whatever. I'm the Author. I can do whatever I want." She pulled out a wallet with a kitty on it and whipped a card out of it. "Creative license, see?"

Confused, Misty hesitated. "Creative license?" she repeated slowly.

"And anyways," the Author went on, "I don't usually do stuff like this. Generally my fics are not as party hardy." She paused. "No, scratch that. I love party fics. I lied."

"What—?"

The Author interrupted her. "Oh look!" she cried happily. She pointed at Bowtie Man. "The Doctor isn't dancing with anyone. Excuse me." The Author slid off her throne and padded off.

Misty stared after her in disbelief. "Have I gone crazy?" she wondered.

"Oh, and Misty!" the Author called. Misty looked over. She was holding Bowtie Man's hand and grinning idiotically. "Tonight, you're going to enjoy yourself, dance with Tezuka, and kiss Ash more times than there are stars in the sky. Got it?"

If looks could kill…

The Author winked at her disgruntled Pokemon character and disappeared with Bowtie Man. Misty scowled and hopped off the stool. She was leaving. Right now.

On her way out the door, a tall boy with brown hair and glasses stopped her. He was quite muscular, albeit a little stoic. "Excuse me, miss," he said with a slight bow, "but would you care to dance with me?"

Dazed, Misty accepted the hand of the Seigaku boy and followed him out onto the dance floor.

The Author's word is law. Misty never stood a chance.

*AN: So it's my fanfic birthday! ...Well, Friday was. And I wanted to do something special for it this year. So voila. Something special.

List of characters not Pokemon (in order of appearance): Seigaku Regulars from Prince of Tennis (specifically mentioned ones are Fuji and Tezuka), the Host Club from Ouran High School Host Club, L and Light from Death Note, Phineas and Ferb from you should know this, Harry, Ron, and Hermione from dear GOD if you don't know this seek help, the Doctor and River Song from Doctor Who, starlight dreams and Amber Ice Fox who are both on this site with me, and myself as The Author.

I am not schizophrenic (usually) nor am I a fish (I'm a mermaid, DUH). Thank you for reading and celebrating with me!*