Prologue: A Thump at the Window
*KA-THUMP!*
...what the hell? That couldn't have been the rain...
I hastily scrubbed my eyes and sat up, peering through the darkness.
Crap, did someone break in?
I looked around my room. Nobody.
*KA-THUMP!*
The hell was that!
I got out of my cozy bed and searched under it. Nothing. I looked into the closet, throwing aside the plethora of identical shirts and jeans. Nobody. As I turned around to climb back into bed, lightning struck. I could see the silhouette of a man on a ladder outside my window, his face pressed against glass in the rain.
"Moooom!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.
*KA-THUMP!*
I clearly couldn't wait for her. In my half-awake state, I did what I thought was an acceptable thing at the time: Open the window and give him one hell of an uppercut. He flew off the ladder and fell on the grass below with a thud. My mom came rushing in and, seeing me perched over my windowsill, ran to me.
"Andrew!" she called. "Are you okay! What happened?"
"Uh, nothing, Mom."
"...dear, what are you looking at?"
There was another flash of lightning. I immediately cringed as the figure moaned, asking for my gender.
"...nobody. J...just Professor Maple."
Well, I guess that's what you get for sneaking in on someone.