1What hurts the most by crazygrl16

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone except for a few.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

She wasn't there when it happened, but she knew something had happened when she felt as if a piece of her heart was fading away. Stella had graciously changed her clothes and she knew why. Once she saw Stella walk in wearing sweat pants and a New York tank top with Hawkes following behind her, her knees started to buckle. "Lindsay... Danny's been shot." was all she hear and she wanted to fall, but Stella and Hawkes caught her.

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

Lindsay was in a trance when she told his sister what happened and Ashlyn was in denial. They both sat in the waiting room, Lindsay holding onto Danny and her's 8 month old daughter Megan and Ashlyn . Megan played with her mothers hair when the doctor came out. Lindsay and Ashlyn stood up and Lindsay handed Megan to Stella. The two women stood in front of the doctor, Ashlyn swayed back and forth and Lindsay was twisting her wedding band. The doctor explained that they did everything they could but Danny was brain dead. "NO! He can't leave me" Lindsay screamed and cried.

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the mostIs being so closeAnd having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Lindsay and Ashlyn sat by Danny's bed. He was on life, support but that was soon going to be shut off after they and Danny's co-workers got to say good bye. Megan sat on Lindsay's lap reaching out to her father. "Dada" she keeps crying.

"I know, but he can't hear you sweety." Lindsay said crying. Ashlyn picked up her niece, hugged her sister-in-law and walked out. Lindsay, tears streaming down her face, leaned towards her husbands brain dead body. "Damit Danny why do you have to leave me and Megan. So much your going to miss. So much she won't get to know about you. And Ashlyn, she was so excited that you were going to be there when she graduated from the academy."

Out in the waiting Ashlyn was being held by Don who kissed the top of her head as she cried, while Stella held onto Megan who was crying and she tried to sooth her. No one said anything as Lindsay came out picked up Megan and sat down as Ashlyn went inside.

What hurts the mostIs being so closeAnd having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

It was hard for her to do, but she did it. She knew Danny wouldn't want to be in this condition. It hurt her so much to pull the plug as others stood bye and watched. She gave him one last kiss and fell to her knees crying. Don held onto Ashlyn and Mac comforted Stella.

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Back at the station Ashlyn and Lindsay sat in the break room. They didn't want to face the media at their home. They sat there talking and Stella came in and joined. Minutes later Stella's face turned to the see two officers bring him in, and stared. Lindsay knew why. She got up and ran out the room at the guy. "You SOB, you killed him. You took him away from me, our daughter and his sister. Your sick, you know that." Lindsay screamed/cryed as she was held back by two fellow officers. The two officers how had a hold of the grinning murder quickly got him into holding.Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do