The shock slowly seeping out of Dean as the hate and blame starts to set in. He's finally had enought of Sam and Bobby telling him it wasn't his fault, when in every inch of his body he feels it truly was. Once again he walked out on Sam, jumped in his beloved impala, and sped away to the closest bar to get drunk.
"Yea, It's not my fucking fault." Dean spoke outloud to himself.
"Of course its not, becuase I so wasn't the one who basically said go fuck yourself when I should have trusted him." He muttered pulling into a bar in only god knows where.
He sat there, fists clenched around the steering wheel, trying to calm down enough to walk into the bar without punching the person closest to him. Finally he decided to get out of the car, and walked into the bar into the with a pretend smile on his face. He walked strait to the bar and sat on an empty stool in the corner.
"What can I get you Sir?" A female bartender with long dirty blonde hair that closely resembled Jo.
"Uhm just a beer please." Dean winched at the fact that the woman looked so much like his best hunter friend.
"Alright sugar." She said and walked away.
Hold it together man! Dean yelled at himself in his head. Your here to get drunk and forget, remember! He yelled again. He winched again as the thought of his beloved angel's trenchcoat floating up out of the murky water.
"Here ya go." The bartender said as she put Dean's beer down next to him.
He managed a slight smile saying thank you, now go the fuck away. He chugged the beer in a matter of 30 seconds. There ya go Dean, Drink and forget... drink and forget.
"Drink and forget..." He wispered to himself, clenching his fist around the beer bottle causing it to shatter in his hands.
The tiny shards of glass cutting deeper into his hand as he closed his fist tighter until a male bartender came over to him.
The bartender opened his mouth to speak but dean beat him to it.
"Go the fuck away." He clearly stated and flipped him the bird with the other hand.
"Oh and bring me another beer why your at it." THe bartender scurried away moment later coming back with two beers.
"T-t-there on me." The bartender managed to say before practically running away.
"Good." Dean cracked them open and cugged them both down in a mater of seconds, with the glass shards still in his one hand.
Good Dean you getting there the more beers in ya the better. He was coaxing himself to get drunk, Great.
"Two more please!" He blurted out.
Then, coming from the radio over his head, a song, a good song, but also very bad at the same time.
"When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye.
Your just like an angel..."
After that Dean lost it.
"IT WAS MY FAULT! I WAS A STUPID SELFISH BASTARD WHO WOULDNT LISTEN IM SORRY!" He yelled at nothing in general. He started throwing beer bottles, kicking over stools, ripping things off walls, doing anything possible to get out his anger. He stormed out of the bar, got back in the impala, and drove. Just drove, going no place in general, he just needed space. As you can figure out he was drunk, he was pissed, and he wasn't the least bit regretful about what he was going to do.
"If I can't see Cas in this life, Then theres no reason for me being here." He drove dead on into a tree, causing the impala to ignite on fire, making it only seconds before Dean himself would die and be with his beloved angel, Castiel.
"I'll be with you soon my love..." He wispered.
The car then, exploded, sending peices and part in every direction.
He heard the explosion... but didn't feel anything.
"Cas... Cas? Cas where are you?" He said slightly frantic.
"I'm right here." He heard a wisper.
"Cas!" He engulfed Cas in hugs and kisses.
"Cas?" He wimpered, Castiel was gone.
"Dean! Bobby hes over here!" It was Sam.
Dean felt himself being lifted up and then set down in the back of a car.
"Dean you dumb ass you almost got yourself killed." Bobby said almost calmly.
Dean heard the car start, then opened his eyes just enough to see castiel outside the window holding a hand up as if to say a final goodbye. He blinked and Cas was gone.
He wimpered from the backseat and raised a hand to wave goodbye to Cas even though he was gone. Dean dropped his hand and slowly blacked out.