PrologueI Know You

by Slaymesoftly

The Prologue is set right after Chosen and the end of BtVS. The rest of the story takes place during BtVS early seasons, with Buffy having been sent into her 16-yr-old body. When Spike arrives, he isn't ready for the slayer he meets - but she is more than ready for him. The first of many fics set in the "verse" created here. This one is in two long parts as it is complete already.

1. Part 1, Prologue - Ch 12

A Prologue to Life — Prologue to "I Know You"

She held it together until they were in the motel. It wasn't much of a motel, just a little roadside collection of cabins and rooms; but it had enough vacancies to fit everyone in, and it was only a few miles from the hospital where they'd left the wounded slayers and Robin.

Buffy and Dawn had a cabin to themselves, and they flipped a coin to see who would shower first. Dawn won the toss, and while she was showering off the airborne dust from the crater that had replaced their home, Buffy just lay on the bed, staring blindly at the cracked ceiling. She idly noticed that there were flyspecks all over it and wondered where all the flies had gone.

Maybe Spike sucked them down into hell with the rest of Sunnydale. Maybe it created such a big vacuum that all the little teeny things got whooshed into the hellmouth. I think I'll ask him if that's what happened….

Without warning, the full impact of the morning's events hit, and she could no longer pretend not to know that she would never be able to ask Spike anything, ever again. Full awareness of what she had lost hit with a physical shock and when Dawn emerged from the bathroom she found her sister curled into a miserable ball in the middle of the bed, keening softly and rocking herself from side to side.

Dawn silently slipped onto the bed behind Buffy's much smaller body and wrapped her arms around her. With her own tears sliding down her face, Dawn rocked with the older girl, knowing that as bad as she felt for letting Spike go without healing the rift between them, it was nothing compared to what her sister was feeling.

Dawn thought about Spike's defense of Buffy when everyone, including Buffy's own younger sister, had ejected her from her own house. She remembered hearing Buffy giving Spike credit for enabling her to find the courage and strength to confront Caleb and retrieve the scythe.

In spite of the anger she'd felt toward Spike when Xander had told her he tried to rape her sister, she knew that he'd been the one constant in Buffy's life for years. His love for Buffy never wavered. No matter what happened between them, he was always there for her when she needed him. And she had needed him a lot this past year. Right up until the bitter end, when he allowed his newly restored soul to immolate him to save the world.

Choking back her own sobs, Dawn stroked Buffy's hair and made soothing noises until the high pitched keening tapered off. Eventually, Buffy stopped rocking and appeared to have drifted into an exhausted sleep. Dawn quietly unwound herself and went out to join the others for a meal.

When she reached the nearby cafe, Giles gestured for her to join him at the table with Willow, Kennedy, Xander, and Andrew. Faith had stayed at the hospital to be near Robin

"Where's Buffy?" Willow asked, looking around with concern. Even though the apparently mortal wound that Buffy had sustained during the fight had miraculously closed up by the time she made it out of the cavern, her exhaustion had been evident and they were all concerned about her.

"It just hit her," Dawn said quietly.

"What just hit her? That we won? I'd think she'd want to celebrate. There should be singing and dancing and..." Xander's voice trailed off as he remembered why he wasn't singing and dancing. "Oh," he said, subsiding into the fog of grief that he'd been in since their escape.

"What, oh?" Kennedy asked with her usual disregard of anyone else's feelings. "We should be singing and dancing. We beat the bad guy and we're all still here to talk about it."

Xander's fists clenched under the table and Dawn gasped at the new slayer's lack of empathy. Everyone at the table, except Xander who was staring intently at his plate and fighting back tears, turned to stare at her.

Willow struggled to make excuses for her new girl friend's lack of tact, telling herself that Kennedy hadn't been part of the group long enough to know how much the others had been through together before the potentials began filling Buffy's house with noise and hormones. But she cringed in spite of herself to think that she was falling love with someone so inconsiderate.

Tara would never have been that thoughtless. She poked Kennedy hard in the side and hissed angrily, "We're not exactly all still here, Kennedy."

The newly called slayer actually had to think for a few seconds before she remembered that Xander had lost an ex-fiancée and that the vampire who had lived in the basement since before she arrived was also gone.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry, guys." She looked apologetically at Xander and Dawn. "I forgot for a minute."

Dawn looked as though she was planning to come across the table and test Kennedy's new-found powers until Giles put a restraining hand on her arm.

"Do you think she will be joining us for dinner, Dawn?" he asked gently. His heart ached for Buffy, knowing that their estrangement this year was entirely his fault. He was too old and experienced in the ways of the world to allow himself to wallow in guilt, but he accepted without hesitation that his willingness to help Robin kill Spike meant that his sympathy would not be welcomed at this time.

Dawn shook her head "no" emphatically. "She fell asleep, finally, and I don't intend to wake her up until she's ready." She felt her own eyes fill with tears again as she said softly, "He promised he would never leave us... that he would always be there to..." She swallowed a sob and got up abruptly. "I don't think I'm all that hungry, guys. I'll see you all tomorrow morning."

She bolted from the cafe and ran back to the cabin, an unreasonable fear making her gasp for air as she ran. Bursting in the door, she immediately glanced at the bed; there was no sign of her sister.

Terror worse than anything she'd felt that morning seized Dawn's body and she gasped for breath that wouldn't come. She had no idea why she was suddenly so frightened; she just knew she should be.

The sound of water running in the bathroom brought her to the door and she cautiously pushed it open to find Buffy, still dressed, standing under the shower and staring at the knife she held over her left wrist.

Dawn's strangled gasp didn't so much disturb Buffy as it distracted her for a moment. She looked up slowly with eyes that chilled Dawn with their blankness.

"B... Buffy?" Dawn's voice was a trembling whisper. "What are you doing, Buffy?"

Buffy continued to stare at her expressionlessly; then she looked back down at her wrist and the knife blade just touching it.

"I don't have to do this anymore, Dawn," she said as though explaining something self-evident. "I'm not The One anymore. I can rest again."

"You're going to leave me alone? You too?" Too late, she realized that adding to Buffy's guilt wasn't going to get her the result she wanted and she immediately changed her approach, moving a little further into the small bathroom.

"Buffy, he wouldn't want you to do this. You know he wouldn't. He wants you to enjoy not being the One anymore. He died so that you could have the life you wanted."

"He died to save the world, not me." Even as she said that, Buffy knew it wasn't true. She knew that he'd expected her to be part of that world. That he'd made her leave the cavern so she wouldn't die with him.

"It hurts, Dawnie. It hurts so much..." She spoke in a whisper, still staring at her wrist and watching the water run down the blade of the knife and onto her skin. "If I…." She raised her eyes again. "It doesn't hurt when I'm…. There's no pain there."

Dawn blanched at the reference to the last time Buffy had died. "I know it does, Buffy. It hurts me too. But he doesn't want us to hurt. You know he doesn't. He loved us too much to want us to be unhappy. He wanted us to live and enjoy the world he saved. Shouldn't we try to do what he wanted, Buffy? Shouldn't we do that for him?" Dawn's voice was soft and pleading as she edged closer to the bathtub.

"I don't care what he wants! I want it to stop. If he wanted me to be happy, he shouldn't have died. He shouldn't have left me."

Once again clutching her sides as if she could contain the anguish by just squeezing hard enough, Buffy collapsed into the bottom of the tub, letting the knife fall unnoticed into the water. Dawn quickly snatched it up and threw it out of the room as she climbed into the rapidly cooling water still pouring out of the shower to hold her sobbing sister.

When they were both shivering from the now icy water coming from the shower, Dawn pulled her unresisting sibling out of the tub and wrapped her in a towel while she shut off the stream of cold water. Buffy offered no resistance, nor did she offer any help, as Dawn got her dried off and into dry clothes.

Morning found the Slayer and the Key huddled together on the bed, exhausted, but filled with the calm acceptance that comes from having grieved as much as it was humanly possible to do at one time. The morning sun washed their tear-stained faces with warm, golden light, inviting them to get up and go out into the newly saved and welcoming world.

To be continued as "I Know You"

I Know You

Chapter One

"Buffy, do you know where my green sweater is?" Dawn's voice echoed down the hall of the large Victorian that Giles had bought with Council money. It was a more or less permanent home for both himself and the younger people he had come to think of as his children.

Buffy and Dawn had moved in with him at his urging, ostensibly so that Dawn could attend a "good" school in London, but also so that he could watch Buffy and track her mental health. In his stiff, British way, he had apologized to her for his treatment of Spike – and by extension, his treatment of her for supporting the vampire. He willingly admitted that he had misjudged both the man and the situation and, without actually going down on his knees, he had begged for her forgiveness.

Her easy acceptance of his apology bothered him more than he cared to admit. The Buffy he knew, while generous and forgiving with the people she loved, was also volatile and capable of great anger. He was confident that until she had expressed that anger fully, she would not be able to truly forgive him. The fact that he couldn't see that righteous anger anywhere in her demeanor worried him enough that he confided in Dawn.

The teenager had grown up so much in past year that he found nothing strange about talking to her as another adult. He wasn't surprised when she agreed completely that Buffy's apathy was a negative sign, not a positive one.

"She doesn't even cry anymore, Giles. It's like she's just waiting for something to happen and nothing that goes on while she waits is important enough to get excited about. She won't talk about him, but she won't try to meet anybody else. If you say 'Angel' to her, she just looks blank and shrugs like she's not sure who that is. The only time I saw her show any emotion was when we went past a soc – sorry – football stadium and she saw the sign for Manchester United. For some reason, she started laughing and then crying, but she wouldn't tell me why. She just muttered something about 'happy meals on legs' and 'stupid vampire'."

"Perhaps when Willow arrives in a few weeks, she'll be able to reach her. I'm quite concerned about Buffy's mental health; I just cannot fathom what to do about it."

"Well, you know Willow," Dawn snarked. "She'll just want to do a spell to 'fix it'."

The new head of the Council of Watchers shook his head and smiled.

"Now, Dawn, you know that all the time Willow has spent with the coven has cured her of wanting to use magic to solve everything. That was really quite unfair."

"Uh huh," was the only response as the teenager left the room. "Whatever you say, Giles."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Willow's arrival was a very low-key affair. She arrived with a minimum of baggage and fanfare. The fact that Kennedy was not with her didn't upset the residents of the house, the brash slayer not being terribly popular with anyone except her girlfriend.

Buffy's greeting was warm, but restrained. As she did with everyone, she expressed a polite interest in Willow's wellbeing, but soon distanced herself from the conversation. Willow frowned briefly when Buffy didn't even ask about Kennedy, but attributed it to not wanting to embarrass her in public. When Buffy still hadn't inquired by the time Willow was unpacking, she finally asked, "So, aren't you curious about why I'm by myself?"

Buffy gave a guilty start, shocked out of her self-absorbed misery for a few seconds by the pain in Willow's voice.

"Oh, God, Wills, I'm so sorry. Of course I am. Where's Kennedy? Has something happened to her?"

Willow looked at her friend with sad eyes and answered slowly, "No, nothing happened to her. We just decided... well, I decided, that we needed a little break. Some time to think about... things."

"Things?"

Willow sighed and sat on the bed. Buffy got up on the other side and they sat crosslegged, facing each other just as they had so many times when they were in high school.

"I know it's wrong to compare her to... to Tara. I know that. She's not Tara, she's Kennedy and that's not a bad thing to be. But..."

"But?"

"But I keep finding myself thinking, 'Tara wouldn't do that,' or 'Tara would never have said that,' and I realized that those things that Tara wouldn't do or say... they were things I valued about her. They were reasons why I loved her so much. And... even though I am attracted to Kennedy, and very grateful to her for showing me that I could live and love again, she's not who I want to spend my life with."

Willow fiddled with the bedspread as she talked. "I just want to find someone to love again. Someone who makes me complete the way Tara did. And I'm willing to wait until that person comes along. Do you know what I mean, Buffy?"

"I know exactly what you mean, Willow. Believe me, I'm the queen of waiting for someone else who completes me."

The two friends were silent for a few minutes, each lost in her thoughts. Finally Willow took Buffy's hand in hers and asked, "So, you're still with the missage, huh?"

Buffy nodded her head and allowed a tear to trickle down her cheek. "Every minute of every day. The only time I don't miss him is when I'm asleep and I'm dreaming that he's here with me. Then I wake up and..."

Willow nodded, but couldn't help saying, "You know he wouldn't have wanted you to mourn this long, don't you? All Spike ever wanted was for you to let him love you and be happy. As much as he was glad to get you back, he would have given you up in a minute if he'd been sure you were ready to go back to Heaven."

"I know that, Will. And, I want to be happy again. I do. I'm just not sure I remember how to do it. From the time I sent Angel to hell, my life has been pretty much one big suck fest after another. I'd love to go back to perky, cheerful Buffy. I just don't know where she is, you know?"

Willow reached out to hug her friend, a thoughtful look on her face.

Several conversations with Giles and Dawn, as well as more time spent with Buffy, and the kind-hearted witch was determined to do something about her friend's unhappiness.

If she wants to go back to being happy-Buffy, I just need to find a spell that will bring back that feeling. To make her feel the way she did before being the Slayer interfered with her life so much. A way to make her feel like sixteen-year-old Buffy. How hard can it be?

More conversations with Giles and Dawn had Willow more than convinced that a spell was the way to go. She would find one that allowed Buffy to keep all her adult memories, but push the years of pain into the back of her mind and let the innate perkiness she'd had as a sixteen-year-old resurface.

Knowing they would not approve of what she was planning, she didn't talk to either Giles or Dawn about her idea. She found time alone in which to research exactly what kind of spell was needed and to collect the materials required, and then she waited for an opportune time.

The night Giles went out to a late meeting, and Dawn was spending the night with one of her new friends, Willow decided that the time was ripe. She remembered how Buffy said the only time she was not unhappy was when she was asleep and dreaming about Spike. That seemed to Willow to be a good time to do a happiness spell – when the recipient was already in a happy place.

Checking briefly to be sure Buffy was still peacefully asleep and not having a nightmare, Willow quickly set up her spell and began to cast. The candles flickered as she muttered her incantations in Latin and English. When she was almost finished, she waved her hand through the herbal smoke and whispered.

"Let this spell bring forth the happy person inside this one; and let her find her true happiness. So mote it be."

With that final sentence, the candles blew out and Willow got up to put her things away, pleased with herself. She decided to wait until morning to see how it turned out, figuring a Buffy interrupted in the middle of dreaming about Spike was not going to be a happy Buffy, spell or no spell.

She got into bed and drifted off the sleep, secure in the knowledge that she had improved Buffy's life for her.

Chapter Two

Buffy jerked slightly and blinked at her surroundings. One minute she was dreaming that she was in Spike's arms, sleeping peacefully in his crypt, and the next she appeared to be in the old long-gone Bronze. And she appeared to be dancing – with Willow and Xander. A very young Willow and Xander.

As the dance went on and she began to enjoy the way her body was moving with the music, she realized that the whole thing seemed very familiar. She glanced at the band, back at her friends, and down at herself and her clothes.

Ohmygod, I'm dreaming about that night in the Bronze. The first time I saw Spike. The first time he threatened to kill me.

Buffy gazed around and marveled at how detailed her dream was. She could feel the wooden floor under her feet, smell the mixed brew of perfume, beer, and sweat that permeated the air. She could even see the beginning of a zit on Xander's face if she looked closely.

Wow, this is a freakishly real dream. I'm dreaming about zits. On Xander.

Suddenly she felt the tingle on the back of her neck that meant there was a vampire nearby and she remembered Spike's telling her one time that he had loved her from the first time he saw her dancing in the Bronze. She turned slowly, scanning the room for the bleached blond vampire her neck was now telling her was watching.

In reality, she hadn't known he was in the club at all. She'd just responded to what she heard about an attack in the alley and run out. However, telling herself it was her dream to do with as she liked, she looked around the room until she spotted him prowling like a pale panther on the edges of the crowd, never taking his eyes off her as he stalked through the other patrons.

Buffy stared back at him until he raised his eyes to her face What the hell was he looking at all that time? My sixteen-year-old butt? and blinked in surprise to find her looking right at him. Their eyes locked and Buffy's stomach clenched as the familiar blue gaze bored into her. She suppressed a whimper of longing, reminding herself that in this time and place, they were not lovers but enemies.

He's here to kill me. There will be no flirting with the Slayer of Slayers. Never mind what I know about what he's got hiding under that long coat. He's unchipped, unsouled and very evil.

In spite of the pep talk she gave herself, Buffy couldn't resist giving him a dazzling smile before she turned back to her friends and waited for the phone call that would tell her she was needed in the alley.

Spike froze in mid-stride when the Slayer focused her beautiful eyes on him. It made him shiver, the way she was looking at him. As though she knew who and what he was. As though she... He shook himself abruptly.

I must be losing it. Thinking about the Slayer like that. Not that she isn't a hot little number. Movin' her body an' all, driving these little boys crazy. But I'm here to kill her, not shag her. I have my dark princess for that.

He quickly went back outside and gave the minion his instructions while he faded back into the shadows to watch the Slayer. She didn't disappoint him. She was out the door in no time and threw the minion off the girl he was trying to eat. Spike watched in admiration as she toyed with one of his better fighters, uttering bad puns and clever quips as she kicked his arse all over the alley. It was almost pathetic how easily she handled the vampire. Especially after he got in one lucky punch that rocked her back for a minute.

It was the last punch he got. With incredible fluidity, she dazzled the vamp with punches and kicks until one of her friends tossed her a stake and she put it through his heart with one well-placed stab. She was wiping the dust off her hands when Spike stepped out of the shadows, clapping slowly.

She looked up at him with no surprise on her face and waited for him to stop clapping.

"Who are you?" she asked, sounding unconcerned and not really interested.

"You'll find out Saturday," he said in what he hoped was an intimidating manner. There was something about the way this girl was looking at him. As though she could see right through him and wasn't worried at all.

"And what happens Saturday?" Her bored tone implied she already knew the answer.

"I get to kill you," he growled.

To his complete amazement, she gave him another one of those dazzling grins and said, "You get to try. If you can wait that long."

"Oh, I can wait, little girl. What makes you think I can't?"

"Because I know you, Spike," she said, her expression softening for a minute. "I know you," she repeated so softly that only he could hear it.

He could do nothing as she and her friends returned to the club but stand in the alley with "Huh?" written all over his face.

Inside, Buffy pleaded thirst from vampire dust and sat down to drink her coke and think about this incredibly real dream. She'd treated it just like any other dream at first – walking through the motions of fighting with the vamp. She did notice that the fight was much more one-sided than she remembered it being the first time. Due, no doubt, to her sixteen-year-old body being run by the much more experienced mind of the longest lived slayer in history.

After fighting with Spike himself multiple times, Angelus several times, a Hellgod, and a Turok-han, one overly-cocky minion hadn't even challenged her. The one punch to her jaw did hurt though, and she'd responded with righteous anger that ended the fight very quickly. She absently stroked the slight bruise on her jaw and wondered how a dream punch could continue to be sore after the dream had moved on to somewhere else.

Surprisingly, when the evening ended and they got up to go home, her dream continued in rather boring fashion. She walked home, greeted her mother – hugging her hard enough to make her mother wince before she reminded herself that in this dream her mother wasn't dead or dying yet – and went upstairs to get ready for bed.

All right. I think I could find more interesting things to dream about than brushing my teeth. What happened to my nice dream about snuggling in bed with Spike? Why am I dreaming about him when he wanted to kill me? Oh well, I'll wonder about it tomorrow. Maybe I can dream I'm asleep, dreaming about Spike...

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Okay. This is officially getting weird now,she thought when she awoke the next morning in her old bed with the sun coming in the window. I'm dreaming I have morning breath and I have to pee. I have got to be the most boring dreamer on the face of the earth. Where's a good Slayer/prophecy dream when you need one?

By the time she had dressed in a sixteen-year-old's cotton underwear and a skirt much too short, she was beginning to get the sinking feeling that this was not a dream from which she was going to wake up anytime soon. The thought that she was about to relive the last five stressful years of her life was not a happy prospect, but with the resilience of youth she was able to push it aside. She bounced down the stairs and into the kitchen, greeting her mother cheerfully and suppressing the little twinge she felt at knowing how different things were going to be in a few years.

Then she remembered that Spike was here. She had five years to convince Spike that she loved him. Five years to make up to him for all the pain she'd inflicted on him. Five years to spend time in his arms, in his bed. Five years to appreciate how precious those moments were going to be.

Great. All I have to do is convince William the Bloody that the only thing better than killing this slayer will be—

Much to her surprise, the school day went fairly quickly and she was able to do the work without leaning too heavily on Willow's brainpower.

I guess I did learn a thing or two in spite of myself. She grinned with silent amusement as the answers to much of her homework popped into her head. Willow looked at her curiously, but didn't say anything as Buffy whipped through their history assignment.

As she knew was her habit, she went to the school library after classes were over, somewhat startled at the youthful appearance of her Watcher. From the perspective of a woman in her mid-twenties, he appeared to be a very attractive, somewhat older man, rather than the stodgy old codger he had appeared to her sixteen-year-old eyes. The comparison between the man she was now looking at and the weary, careworn Head of the Council of Watchers that she'd left behind in what she was trying very hard to believe was the real world, was an eye opener, and she realized that the years of fighting on the hellmouth had taken their toll on him just as much as they had on her.

"Ah, Buffy, there you are. I understand you had an unusual experience last evening?" The question indicated that Willow or Xander had already told him about the strange vampire and his cocky remarks about killing her on Saturday.

She chewed her lip briefly, wondering what she wanted to say to him. Although she tried to tell herself it was only a dream, so it didn't matter what she did or said, the nagging feeling that this was very real for everyone else would not go away. Deciding to hold her tongue until she figured out what was going on, she just gave him the bare details of the encounter, leaving out that she already knew the vampire.

She did tell him Spike's name, as she remembered that the vamp she'd staked had asked Spike for help just before she dusted him. Giles frowned and went to consult his watcher's records for a vampire named Spike.

"You're sure he called him, 'Spike'?" he asked, thumbing through his books.

"His name is Spike, Giles," she responded wondering if he would pick up on her certainty.

"Try looking under William the Bloody," came a deep voice from the stacks behind the librarian.

"Angel!" Buffy felt her heart rate increase, then level off as she looked at the brooding vampire with eyes that had seen him at his best and worst. If he wondered why she was looking at him so intently, he didn't say anything. If anything, he tried to avoid her eyes as he sought out Giles and helped him find the correct book.

"Oh dear," Giles said as he read the short bio of Spike's career as a vampire. "It says here he has fought two Slayers before – and killed both of them. He travels with his consort—" he looked up quickly as Buffy coughed a muffled, "ho bag" into her hand, then went back to his book, "Drusilla. A seer before she was turned by... oh dear…." He glanced up again. "By Angelus."

Buffy watched Angel flinch at the mention of his unsouled self and the insane vampire he had sired.

"You will have to be very careful, Buffy. It would appear that this could be one of the most dangerous vampires you've faced yet."

"More dangerous than the Master?" she inquired, trying to look more interested than she was.

I guess it wouldn't do to let them know I'm not worried about Spike killing me. Might be hard to explain.

"Don't underestimate Spike," Angel said quickly. "He is nothing if not persistent."

He stopped in confusion as Buffy laughed and whispered, "He is that." She saw the look on his face and mentally scolded herself. "I'm sorry Angel," she said, waving at him to continue. "Please tell us more about him."

By the time Angel was through telling them about Spike, and he and Giles were making plans for Saturday night, the feast of St. Vigeous, Buffy had lost interest in the conversation. With her newfound perspective, she was very aware of the omissions in Angel's stories about Spike, and also the edge of irritation in his voice that was always there in later years when he spoke of his grandchilde.

She could tell Giles was getting very frustrated by her lack of attention to their plans for Saturday night and she finally asked, "Are you both so sure he's going to attack me Saturday? Maybe he'll get tired of waiting and do something before then. Tomorrow night, maybe. At Parent-Teacher Night."

She rolled her eyes as Angel and Giles ignored her and went back to making their plans for the weekend.

As the day went on and she lived every minute of it, including such mundane things as eating dinner and sneaking out of the house for patrol, it was becoming more and more obvious that she was not dreaming.

Somehow, I've been returned to my sixteen-year-old self, but with all my memories and knowledge. I guess it's time to let Giles in on what's going on and see if he can help me get back to my own time and place.

She decide to wait until Parent-Teacher Night was over and she had seen Spike again before telling her watcher what she thought was going on.

If I have to be stuck here, I don't plan to wait four more years before I kiss him for the first time.

Chapter Three

The time came for Back to School Night and Buffy was able to shrug off her concerns about Snyder and her mother meeting each other. She could see him for what he was – a power-hungry little man – and dismissed him as unimportant to her life.

Maybe I'll let Spike eat him tonight, was her idle thought as she passed out cookies and waited for him to arrive with his minions. Where her sixteen-year-old self would have been aghast at the thought of letting a vampire have a human, even one as obnoxious as Snyder, her older self shrugged and wondered what high school would have been like without the nasty little man.

Maybe Robin would be sent here sooner. No wait, that wouldn't be good cause Spike is still evil and he'll try to dust him.

She sighed and decided that Snyder would get to live a little longer in this world too.

When the sounds of screaming and breaking glass signaled the arrival of the vampires, she perked up and ran to be sure her mother was safe. As soon as she knew the adults were as safe as they could be, she began her search for Spike. She idly staked whatever minions she came across, not stopping until she found the smirking object of her search. As she stepped out into the hallway and dropped the axe, she saw him run an appreciative eye up her bare legs, past her short skirt and tight shirt to her face.

The lustful look on his face almost made her forget that this Spike was not chipped, not souled and not in love with her. Yet

Shaking off the urge to walk right up to him and cup the bulge she knew was growing in his pants, she stared at him intently and said her line, "Do we really need weapons for this?" In retrospect, it was an incredibly stupid thing for a slayer to do or say. She could remember years later, Spike's pointing out to her that she always had to have her weapon ready because a vampire's fangs and claws were always ready.

What the hell was I thinking? It's a good thing Spike can't resist a challenge or he would have had me right then and there.

As she knew he would, he dropped the pipe he'd been holding. Only after running his hand down his chest and flat stomach to draw her eyes back to his crotch. She watched his eyes and saw the confusion when she licked her lips and smiled in appreciation at his actions.

This could be a lot of fun. Damn sexy vampire thinks he's going to freak out the little virgin Slayer. He doesn't know I know there's a Victorian gentleman lurking inside that punk package. Or that I know all about pushing his buttons and he hasn't found any of mine yet. Oh yeah, this is gonna be fun.

Buffy was so busy anticipating how much fun she was going to have playing with Spike that she almost forgot he seriously wanted to kill her at this time in their lives. His first punch rocked her back on her heels and she shook off the sexual fantasies until she could get the situation under control. Although she could see her mother hovering in the background and staring in confused amazement at her daughter's battle with the vampire, she knew she wouldn't be needing her mom's help with the axe this time.

Years of fighting with and beside Spike, not to mention sparring with him for training, had given her an intimate knowledge of his fighting style. That plus her years of experience as a slayer made this fight a very different one from their evenly matched battle the real first time they met. It was easy for her to anticipate Spike's moves and counter them before they could hurt her.

She watched the frustration growing on his face, but she could also see the joy he always had in facing a worthy opponent and she knew he was having a good time. When it seemed that they had been fighting for much longer than the first time, she took advantage of her knowledge and experience to sweep his legs out and slam his head into the floor.

Even though he appeared to be unconscious, she leapt to straddle him and hold a piece of the axe handle over his heart. She waited until she knew her mother had followed her instructions to take the others and leave before allowing herself to relax and lean over his face. She stroked his brow ridges until he relaxed back into his beautiful human features and she was looking down onto the face she'd only seen in her dreams for the past year.

She got so wrapped up in reacquainting herself with his chiseled cheekbones and full lips; not to mention the incredible feel of his body between her legs, that it was a full second before she realized his eyes were open and he was staring at her with a combination of lust, hate and bewilderment.

What the bloody hell? I was out like a light, the Slayers sittin' on me with pointy wood in her hand, and I'm not dust.

"Hi," Buffy said cheerily.

He looked up at her suspiciously. "Like to tell me why I'm not blowin' in the wind, pet? Not that I don't 'preciate it," he added quickly as he felt the makeshift stake press into his chest just enough to let him know that she could drive it home before he could move.

Buffy shook her head and admitted reluctantly, "I don't think I can do that yet."

She fought the urge to drop the stake and run her hands over his body by reminding herself that this Spike was still in love with Drusilla and would take advantage of her weakness in a heartbeat. Thinking about how much he loved the crazy vampire helped her focus and she glared down at him as though he was deliberately cheating on her.

Spike could feel her pulse pounding and could see the play of emotions flicker across her face, but he was completely dumbfounded as to what was going on. By all rights he should never have awakened from his short spell of unconsciousness. She should have staked him and moved on. That's what slayers did. They slayed. No witty quips, no sitting on the intended slayee with their hot little bodies only inches from his rapidly growing erection...

Bollocks! Wasn't bad enough she beat me, she's got to rub it in my face by turnin' me on.

Buffy watched his eyes darken and knew that she was having the same effect on him that he was on her. In spite of how much he wanted to kill her, his body was hers for the taking. Never taking her eyes off those intense blue lasers, she slid back until his denim-covered erection was touching her damp underwear. She knew he could feel and smell her arousal and she smiled at the way he involuntarily pushed his hips up against her heat when she tightened her legs around him again.

Keeping the point of the stake pressed into the skin of his chest hard enough to cause a drop of blood to form, Buffy leaned slowly toward his face, dropping her eyes to his mouth. When her warm lips met his soft, cool ones, she couldn't help giving a little moan as he immediately responded to her kiss. Their lips moved softly against each other as Buffy reveled in the familiar sensation and the vampire tasted her warm, mobile mouth for the first time. When he tentatively touched her lower lip with his tongue, requesting more, she readily complied, sending her own tongue out to meet his and caressing it before drawing it in to her mouth.

Buffy lost track of how long they were there, lost in exploring each other's lips and tongues. She could feel Spike's cock pushing against her and fought the urge to drop the stake so that she could lie down on top of him the way she wanted to.

Suddenly the sound of voices reached their ears and Buffy pulled back reluctantly. Spike's eyes flickered back to amber as he recognized Angel's voice calling Buffy's name frantically. He looked at her almost reproachfully as she gave a guilty start and sat up completely. Unfortunately, that forced her hips down onto his, grinding her warmth onto him.

Ignoring the stake pressed against his chest, the vampire sat up quickly, leaving them face to face with Buffy straddling his lap. The stake forgotten, she slipped her arms around his neck and nipped him gently right below his jaw where she knew he loved it. She giggled when he groaned, earning her an indignant glare as he pulled back in shock.

"I know you, Spike," she responded to his unspoken question.

"You are going to explain this to me, Slayer," he growled, "but not right now. I think it's time for me to leave before the cavalry gets here."

He shocked both of them, himself more than Buffy, by leaning in to plant a quick kiss on her lips as he whispered, "Later, luv," and threw her off his lap. He grinned at her indignant sputtering from where she was sprawled on the floor; then blew her another kiss as he turned and vanished out the nearby window.

When Angel, Xander and Giles came sliding to a halt, Buffy was already back on her feet and waiting for them.

"Buffy! Are you all right? Did he hurt you?"

Angel's readiness to assume that she had lost the fight angered her and she huffed at him, "Of course, I'm all right. The day I can't take Spike..." Her voice trailed off as she remembered that she wasn't supposed to even know the Spike yet, let alone have fought him before.

"If you are all right, does that mean you dusted him?" Xander inquired eagerly.

"Um, no. Not exactly. I did have a stake pressed over his heart, though," she added brightly. "That has to count for something."

"If you had your stake over his heart, why isn't he dust?" Angel asked with a growl. He was walking around Buffy obviously sniffing her as he did.

"You know, Angel, that whole smelling things on people is really yucky," she snapped at him. She knew he was scenting not only her close contact with Spike, but the arousal still dampening her underwear.

Her heart softened when she noticed the bewildered and hurt look on his face.

This is Angel. He loves you and he is just trying to protect what he thinks is a very young slayer. He hasn't lost his soul, he hasn't left you and he has no idea that he will do those things.

"I'm sorry, Angel," she said softly. "I know you're just trying to protect me, but, really, I'm fine."

He nodded briefly, but the hurt look didn't leave his face and she knew he would be going back to his apartment to brood later.

Telling her watcher she would talk to him tomorrow, she ran off to catch up with her mother and try to explain away the evening's activities. On the way there, it occurred to her that keeping her mother in the dark about her slaying until she found out the hard way, might not be the best approach.

Okay, then, here goes my first attempt, other than kissing Spike, to really go against what I know actually happened. Hopefully, it won't end the world.

When her mother indicated that she wasn't angry, but proud of Buffy's behavior during the crisis, she decided that was the perfect opening for her confession. They settled into the kitchen with cups of hot chocolate and Buffy began her approach to the subject.

"So, Mom, did you get a good look at those guys who attacked the school tonight?"

Joyce looked at Buffy carefully. She knew that the fight she had witnessed between her young daughter and the man with the frighteningly deformed face was well beyond the skills and physical capabilities of most sixteen-year-old girls. If she was honest with herself, she would admit that it was probably beyond the capabilities of most adult, professional bodyguards.

"Yes, I did," she answered simply and waited.

"What did you think they were?"

"Well, Principal Snyder indicated they were a gang hopped up on PCP..."

Buffy's snort focused her mother's attention back on her daughter.

"But I have a feeling you're going to tell me that isn't what they are, aren't you?"

Instead of answering directly, she asked quietly, "Do you remember why I said I had to set fire to the gym in LA?"

Her mother flinched at the memory of that trying time in their lives and nodded. Then her eyes widened and flew to meet Buffy's expectant look.

"Oh my god, you said they were... vampires? And that you were trying to kill them."

Buffy nodded and continued to look at her mother until she could see that all the dots had been connected. Her mother's face was a study in disbelief and horror.

"We... we sent you to a psychiatrist! We thought you were crazy."

Buffy smiled bitterly, "Yeah, that was definitely one of the highlights of my life."

When she saw the tears in her mother's eyes, she regretted her tone and the words instantly.

"I'm sorry, Mom," she grabbed her mother's hand and squeezed it. "I understand. If I hadn't been me, I'd have thought I was crazy too."

"So, those... people tonight... they were vampires?"

"'Fraid so. Apparently we moved here so that I could take care of the little problem this town has, what with being built over a hellmouth and all."

At her mother's blank look, she straightened and patted her hand reassuringly. "That's another story. Right now, all you need to know is that there are such things as vampires and demons, and I was... chosen... to fight them. I am the Slayer. The one in all the—oh, nuts. I'll have Giles come and talk to you."

"Mr Giles? The librarian?"

"Uh, yeah. That's his day job. Watching me is kinda his night job."

Her mother shook her head, trying to make sense of the things her daughter was saying. Suddenly her gaze went over Buffy's head and she asked in a small voice, " Buffy? These...vampires. Do they sometimes look like ordinary humans?"

"They can, Mom. That's why you have to be so careful about who you invite into the house. Why do you ask?"

"Because I think there's one out there looking in the window," her mother answered without ever taking her frightened eyes off the window in the kitchen door.

Buffy whirled, pulling her stake from the waistband of her skirt as she did so. Standing just outside the kitchen door and making boogey-man faces in the window was the vampire she'd been sitting on earlier.

Buffy stomped to the door and threw it open angrily.

"What do you want, Spike? And stop making stupid faces at my mom. You're scaring her."

"Buffy," her mother ventured, "shouldn't we be locking the door rather than opening it?"

"It's okay, Mom. He can't get in unless one of us invites him – and we're not going to do that. Not yet, anyway."

Spike and her mother wore identical expressions of confusion at her "not yet", but she ignored them and again demanded, "What are you doing here?"

"Wanted to finish our... conversation, pet," he smirked, rolling his tongue up under his teeth.

Buffy heard her mother's gasp as she thought he was referring to the violent fight she'd witnessed between them. She shot her mother a reassuring glance; then turned back to the vampire lounging in the doorway.

"Tempting as that thought is…. " She laughed at his startled look and the way his eyes immediately darkened with desire. "I don't think so. We will finish it, though, Spike. I promise you," she added softly. "I promise we will."

For just a second the cocky look slipped and he stared at her intently. "Gonna hold you to that, luv," he said with a low rumble that made her body tingle in exciting ways.

She looked back at him, wanting nothing more than to step out the door and throw herself into his arms, but she forced herself to hold back and remember that to him she was just a new slayer he had to fight. The way he licked his lips as he stared at her told her he was already feeling things he didn't want to, but she knew Spike too well to think that he would let lust get in the way of bagging his third Slayer.

"I know you will," she replied with a smile. "I'm counting on it."

"Why's that, pet?" He tilted his head at her inquisitively.

"Because I know you," she replied and shut the door on his befuddled face.

Chapter Four

Buffy gave her new life several more days, just to be sure she wasn't going to be snatched back into her bed in England, before she approached Giles and told him she had something to talk to him about.

"In private, Giles. I don't want anybody else to know about this until after you've had time to research it."

He looked at her curiously, but agreed and quietly suggested that Willow and Xander take advantage of the nice afternoon to go for a long walk. Her two friends looked somewhat hurt, but the prospect of an afternoon somewhere besides the musty library was too much to resist, even for Willow.

As soon as they had gone, Giles turned to Buffy and indicated one of the comfortable chairs in his office.

"I presume you are now prepared to tell me why you seem to know more about William the Bloody and his possible activities than his own grandsire does?" he said mildly.

"Can't put anything by you, can I?" She smiled back at him with affection.

"I am fairly certain you 'put things by me' at regular intervals," he commented dryly. "However, in this case, I have definitely identified a few glaring discrepancies that I should like to have explained. If you don't mind."

"Such as?" she asked, putting off the explanation as long as possible.

"Such as how and why you know Spike, and why you seem so sure he cannot hurt you. Such as when you became so adept at your calling that you could take on four vampires at a time and still maintain an unrelated conversation with your friends..."

Buffy gave a guilty start as she remembered taking Xander with her on patrol the other night and toying with the inexperienced fledglings they found while she talked and joked with him. She made a note to herself that she should not take things quite so casually in the future as she had noticed that this body was not as strong as the one she was accustomed to.

"And why your mother made a phone call to me this morning demanding that I tell Principal Snyder that you are the Slayer and he is to stop harassing you!"

"Whoops?" Buffy offered meekly by way of apology.

The older man continued to glare at her until she took a deep breath and let it out forcefully.

"Okay, here goes. But you have to promise not to wig on me, 'K?"

"Fine," he muttered, "There will be no 'wigging.' "

"Several nights ago I went to bed in my room, just like I always do," she began.

When her watcher continued to look at her expectantly, she paused and then added. "My bedroom is in London, in a very large house that you own."

While Giles stared at her incredulously, she added, "And it was September 20, 2003."

She leaned back in her chair to watch the inevitable removal and rapid polishing of his glasses. When he had put them back on his face and clasped his hands in front of him, he was finally able to talk; although, "Good Lord", was all he could manage.

She saw him visibly control himself and go into research mode as he began firing questions at her.

When they had established that she was really in her twenties, had been the slayer for seven years before retiring - Buffy was keeping her explanations as simple as possible to begin with and she left out the multiple slayers – and had no idea what had happened to her, he stopped and just looked at her.

"A slayer who lives into her twenties." He shook his head. "You're a miracle."

"Yeah, I get that a lot," she smirked without explanation.

He shot her a suspicious look, but didn't ask her to elaborate. Instead he put his head on his hands and thought hard for several minutes. When he raised his head, she could see that he had accepted the situation and was already exploring options.

"While I am sure there is much you could tell me, beginning with how and why you seem to know Spike so well…" He didn't miss the blush that went into her youthful cheeks and mentally groaned. "I feel it is not in anyone's best interests for you to tell us very much about the future until we know why you are here."

"That's what I figured," she said, nodding. "If this is an alternate dimension, or just a really, really long and often boring dream, then it probably doesn't matter what I do to change things. But, if I'm really in my past, then anything I do could cause—"

"Anything you do could potentially change the world," he finished for her.

"Well, yeah."

"So, the safest thing to do right now, is for you to proceed just as you would have/did the first time around." He peered at her over his glasses as he asked, "You have been sticking to the same scenarios, have you not?"

Buffy blushed again, and decided he didn't need to know about her molesting Spike on the floor of the school hallway.

"Well, I told my mom last night about me being the Slayer – in my world, I didn't do that until after... until much later in the year. And I've had this conversation with you," she added brightly.

Not to be deterred from his need to know, Giles persisted, "And Spike? What happened in your time when you fought him the first time?"

"Uh, pretty much the same thing," she said, blushing furiously again. "Except, in my time I wasn't as good a fighter yet and he..."

"He beat you," he said flatly.

Buffy pouted, but admitted, "Well, he got lucky. But my mom hit him with the axe and he ran away."

Giles breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Right then, that probably won't affect anything in this timeline. You'll just have to be careful not to meet him again until..."

Something on Buffy's face stopped him.

"Unless, of course, you have already faced him again." He looked at her anxiously.

"Uh, not in the fighting sense, no. But I did talk to him last night for a few minutes."

"You talked to him?"

"Um, yeah?"

"You spoke to William the Bloody. As in, had a conversation." His voice was full of disbelief. "And you both walked away again? Did neither of you want the other dead?"

Buffy took a deep breath and calmed herself as she remembered how Giles had conspired with Robin Wood to kill Spike.

"I think the jury is still out on that for Spike just now." She met his eyes and said with complete honesty, "But I do not want him dusted. Ever."

"I presume you have a good reason for that remarkably irresponsible attitude?"

His words reminded Buffy that his man worked for the organization that insisted on teaching slayers that all demons were evil, to be eliminated on sight, and that, even without having met Angelus yet, he was unlikely to trust one just on her say so.

"I have several good reasons, actually," she said in her best adult Slayer voice. "Several very important reasons. And that's all I'm going to say about it until we know what's going on with me and why I'm here."

The man studied the young girl sitting across from him and realized what he had been missing for the past week. This was not the giddy teenager he had been working with for the past year or more. While the body sitting there was undoubtedly only sixteen years old, the poise, demeanor, attitude and, most importantly, the eyes were those of a much older girl. They were the eyes of a woman who had suffered and grown wise in the process.

It finally hit him what it could mean to have a slayer with over seven years of experience and knowledge working on the hellmouth and he leaned back in his chair and relaxed.

"Very well, Buffy. Until we actually know if the information you have for us can create problems, I will trust you on this matter. However, in view of what Angel has to say about Spike's love of bloodshed, I cannot promise to ignore him for long."

Buffy snorted slightly and said, "Not everything Angel says is the complete truth, you know. He edits things to make himself look better."

Once again, Giles looked at her in complete shock.

"Forgive me, but I understood that you and Angel... not that I approve of the relationship... but are you not in love with him? And he with you?"

Buffy sighed and slumped in her chair. "It's complicated, Giles. Let's just say that, while I will always have a place in my heart for Angel, I did eventually outgrow my teenage crush. And, there are... extenuating circumstances that make it impossible for us to be together anyway."

"These circumstances would be more of the things I shouldn't know about yet?"

"Oh, yeah. Big time," she said, shuddering at the thought of telling Giles his budding romance with Ms. Calendar was going to be ended in a very unpleasant way by Angelus.

"Well then, it appears that I need to begin researching this situation immediately. What can you tell me about your activities leading up to finding yourself here?"

"Not much besides what I told you. I said good night to Willow and went to—Oh my god! Willow! I'm going to kill her!"

Giles raised his eyebrows, shocked at her vehemence toward her best friend.

"Willow?" he asked. "What does Willow have to do with it?"

"Oh, I'm gonna guess, pretty much everything!"

Still confused, Giles continued to look at her warily.

"She must have done a spell – and, as usual..."

"A spell? Willow?"

Buffy blew out an exasperated breath. "Oh yeah, Willow and spells? Sometimes not so mixy."

"Are you saying Willow sent you back here? On purpose?"

"I doubt she was trying to send me back here. I'm sure she was trying to help me... I wasn't a very happy person. And I was..." Buffy agonized over how much she could safely tell her watcher. "Let's just say she was probably trying make me happy and this is the result."

Giles shook his head in wonder. "Willow... who would have... well, I'll have to start training her. Magic is nothing to fool around with unprepared. She could cause all sorts of..." his voice trailed off as he looked at Buffy's rueful grin.

"D'ya think?" she said wryly. Then she shrugged and added, "It doesn't really matter that we know she did it. The question still is, what did she do? I really don't have any great desire to relive the next six years of my life. At least not some parts of it. But I'm afraid to do anything to change it. I'm afraid of what will happen to the future."

"Quite right," Giles agreed. "However, if you are from an alternate dimension, then any actions you take here would have no effect on your original dimension and you could perhaps avoid some of the more painful things that occurred."

When he saw Buffy's hopeful joy at that thought, he hastened to add, "But we must be extremely careful until we know that for sure. And, that will include your interactions with Spike; whatever your... relationship... might be with him in the future, right now he is your mortal enemy. A creature that has slain two Slayers. Do be careful, Buffy."

"I will. Don't worry. I don't want to have to dust him to save my life. And Giles?"

"Yes?"

"Don't underestimate what Willow can do with magic."

The older man understood immediately that he was being given a cryptic warning and he nodded his head in acknowledgement.

Chapter Five

Buffy wandered toward her home, basking in the warm sunshine – something she really missed, living in London – and enjoying the sense of having no pressing duties. She knew she needed to patrol later that night, but she also knew that, except for Spike, there was nothing in Sunnydale at this particular time that she couldn't take down easily.

Thinking of Spike reminded her of Giles' warning to be careful around him and she sighed as she acknowledged the truth to his warning.

This isn't my Spike. Either because the things that made him mine haven't happened yet, or because we're in another dimension where our lives are different. Either way, if I let him get too close, he might decide to drain me before he falls in love.

She kicked at a rock in her frustration at being so close to him again and not being able to be with him.

After Giles had studied interdimensional spells, time travel spells and whatever else he could think of that might give them a clue, he called Buffy into his office again to discuss their options.

"As I see it, the only way we will know if this is your past, or an alternate timeline, is to carefully examine everything that has happened here so far, including anything you have done differently so far. I need to know as much as you feel you can safely tell me about what would be happening right now the past that you remember."

Buffy wrinkled her brow in thought and then ventured. "In my time, Spike would be working on setting up a ritual to heal Drusilla, using Angel's blood. He would have hired the Order of Taraka to kill me..." She broke off at Giles' explosive, "Good Lord!"

"Hey, don't sweat it – I took—okay, never mind. Oh! I almost forgot! Kendra!"

"Kendra?"

"Yes, she's another slayer. She was called when the Master killed me for a minute last year. She should be showing up here any time now..." Her voice trailed off as she remembered how short Kendra's career as a Slayer had been.

Giles looked at the sad expression on her face and made a mental note not to get too attached to Kendra, if and when she showed up. The realty of Buffy's position suddenly hit him and he cringed inside for the girl he was already coming to think of as a surrogate daughter.

Dear Lord! She knows what's going to happen to everyone around her! Who will live, who will die and how and when. What a burden to carry! And here I am telling her not to do anything to change it.

He looked at Buffy with new-found sympathy and said gently, "We will sort this out soon, Buffy. I promise. I know it must be frustrating to know that certain things will happen if you don't stop them, but..."

"Giles. There are some things I just don't think I can let happen. I don't think I'm strong enough to stand by and watch... There are just some things I don't want to go through a second time. Or to watch someone else go through, for that matter," she said enigmatically with a quick glance at him.

When she began her patrol that evening, she went by herself, leaving Xander and Willow to wonder what was going on with their friend. She had yet to tell anyone but Giles about her situation and the strain of pretending to be a high school junior was telling on her.

She had been avoiding the run-down industrial part of town, thinking that she would have less chance of running into Spike if she stayed away from the factory. She knew he'd taken over the Master's minions and was technically the Master of Sunnydale right now, but she also knew he was spending more time worrying about curing Drusilla than he was killing her.

"It's too bad," she mused aloud as she walked through the cemetery, "I could use a good fight with Spike to take the edge off."

"Be careful what you wish for, little girl," she heard behind her and whirled to find him aiming a kick at her head. She just slipped past his foot, her eyes lighting up as he followed it with a series of punches that she blocked easily.

For over an hour, they fought their way through the graveyard, dodging thrown tombstones, and leaping from crypt to crypt. Buffy's blood was singing as they punched and kicked their way from one side of the cemetery to another. Neither one was able to get or keep the upper hand long enough to get a kill. In Buffy's case, her intimate knowledge of Spike's fighting style was somewhat mitigated by the weaker body she was using.

That and the fact that I don't want to kill him she thought wryly as she passed up another chance to end the battle permanently.

After a while, she realized that Spike wasn't really trying all that hard to kill her either. She could tell from the look on his face that he was enjoying every minute of the battle and she gave him one of her dazzling smiles when he laughed in appreciation of a particularly clever series of moves.

As the fight wore on, becoming less of a battle to the death and more of a sparring match, they slowed down until they were barely registering the weaker and weaker blows they exchanged.

Finally, the vampire raised his hands in the classic sign of surrender and said, "Time out, pet. What do you say?"

"Fine with me," she answered, immediately sitting down to lean against the side of a crypt. With a sudden start, she realized she was leaning against the door of the one Spike would later choose to live in. She reached behind her and ran her hand lightly over the door she had kicked open so many times; then flinched when she felt him sit down beside her.

"So, Slayer," he said, leaning his head back against the door with her, "when are you gonna tell me what's goin' on here?"

"I... I don't know what you mean," she tried in her best "blonde" voice. "We're enemies and we're fighting. Except now we're not... fighting, that is. Now we're resting and then maybe we'll be fighting again, and..."

She stopped when she saw that he was giving her one of his skeptical raised eyebrow looks that said "I see right through you, Slayer."

"Not buying that, huh?" she said with a sigh.

"Not even rentin' it, pet." He pulled a cigarette out of the pocket of his duster and casually lit it.

"How's Dru?" she asked abruptly, looking for a change of subject.

Spike choked on the smoke as he was blindsided by her not only knowing that Dru was with him, but that she was sick. He looked at her hard, but didn't comment or answer her question.

"I'm not going to let you do it, you know," she remarked casually, as though they had been discussing the ritual all along.

"Don't try to stop me," he warned, amazed to find that he really didn't want her to try to stop him because he didn't want to have a reason to kill her.

"It's my job," she said quietly, then added after a long pause, "And I can't let you hurt Angel"

"Fuck your job!" he exploded. "And fuck the bloody poof, too. He owes her."

"He probably does," she admitted, "But I can't let you have him, regardless."

"Do you love him?"

The question surprised both of them, but having asked it, Spike waited stubbornly for her answer. Buffy thought hard before responding.

"I... it's complicated."

He snorted derisively. " 'S nothin' complicated about love, Slayer. Either you do or you don't."

She rolled her head over to look at his angry face and couldn't resist running her hand down one knife-edged cheekbone. She felt him start and then shiver under her touch. She made herself look into his confused eyes as she said softly, "I do."

"I want to kill you. You know that, don't you?" he blurted, unsure of what was making him so angry, but knowing it had everything to do with her loving Angel and nothing to do with her being the Slayer.

"You won't," she said simply, dropping her hand.

"You sure about that, luv?" He tried for a cocky smirk, but it didn't quite come off.

She nodded her head, saying softly, "I know you, Spike."

"Bloody hell, woman! Will you stop saying that! How the hell do you know me? You just met me! I don't know you."

"I know you don't," she said sadly. "But you will," she added so low that no one but a vampire would have been able to hear her.

"Is that a threat or promise, Slayer?" he asked, never taking his eyes off hers. Without being aware he was doing it, his hand came up to push a stand of hair off her face and he caught his breath when she closed her eyes briefly.

"I guess it's a bit of both," she admitted with a shaky laugh as she forced herself to move away from him and stand up.

He kipped to his feet, but the comeback he'd been preparing never left his lips as a Fyral demon grabbed him from behind and tried to wrench his head off. Buffy managed to get one good punch in, enough to make the demon let go of Spike's head, before she was grabbed herself and had no more time to see what was happening to Spike.

She had no weapons with her but her stake, which she knew wouldn't do much more than irritate a Fyral. She soon found herself with her back to the crypt door and Spike snarling and snapping beside her as they tried to fight off a pack of large, angry demons.

"What did you do to make these guys mad?" she gasped, kicking and punching in an effort to keep them at a distance.

"Me? What did I do? It was probably you. You're the bloody Slayer, aren't you?" he snarled back, slashing at the face of the nearest one with his claws.

They didn't speak again, the only sounds being the whump! of punches landing and the snarling of the vampire and the demons. Buffy got as close as she could to him without interfering with their fighting and whispered, "I don't think we're winning."

"No shit," he growled back. "You're all 'save-the-world-girl', what do you think we should do about it?"

Checking that the outer door was ajar, she edged back against it and pushed lightly on the inner door to be sure it would open; then nudged Spike and said, "Let's duck in here."

"And be trapped? No thank you, Slayer."

"Trust me?" she asked meekly.

"I should have my head examined," he growled as he nodded at her and rushed the demons, pushing them back briefly to allow her to open the door and slip inside. At her hissed, "Now!" he jumped back into the crypt while she slammed the door shut and leaned against it.

"Uh, Spike? Little help here?"

He grabbed a sarcophagus and dragged it over to lean against the bulging door.

"That's not gonna hold 'em long," he growled.

"It doesn't need to. Come on," she said, grabbing his arm and pulling him toward the back of the crypt. When he saw her wrestling the top off another sarcophagus, he rushed to help and was soon looking down into what appeared to be a room under the crypt.

He arched an eyebrow at her, but didn't waste time asking how she knew about the room. He just jumped down, using his enhanced vampire senses to see in the dark room. Then he turned and looked up at her.

"All clear, Slayer. Come on. I'll catch you."

Buffy climbed over the side of the sarcophagus and dropped lightly down, only to find herself caught just off the ground by a pair of strong arms. They both froze, bodies just barely touching, while they listened to the sounds of the Fyrals trying to push the door open.

"We should hide," she whispered. "They'll notice the open coffin."

"They're mean, but they're stupid," he replied, inhaling the scent coming from her hair. Without meaning to, he found himself nuzzling her ear and he heard her heart beat speed up as he neared her neck.

"Not gonna bite you, luv," he murmured as he ran his lips down to the spot just below her ear. He gently licked the spot with his tongue and when she gasped, he smiled and said, "Now I know somethin' about you, Slayer."

Buffy smacked him lightly on the chest, then allowed her hand to linger on the hard muscles she found there. She was finding it almost impossible to be in such close proximity to him and remember that his affections belonged to someone else.

She was just steeling herself to push him away, when they heard the door being pushed open. Spike drew her back into the rear of the cavern and into a crevice in the wall, pushing her in ahead of him so that his leather clad back was the only thing exposed to the open room. His hands were resting on the wall on either side of her head, and his head was bent down toward hers. She could feel his cool breath on her face and knew if she looked up their mouths would be only centimeters apart.

Spike heard her heart rate skyrocket and wondered what the cause was. He wasn't getting any sense of fear off her; if anything she was excited. When he smelled her arousal, he almost groaned at the effect it had on him.

So slowly that she was barely moving, Buffy brought her head up until she was looking blindly toward his face, knowing he could probably see her, even though the darkness was complete to her less sensitive eyes. She sensed rather than saw him moving his mouth toward hers and suppressed a whimper when he stopped just short of her lips to whisper, "What are you doin' to me, Slayer?"

In response, she lifted her chin slightly and touched her lips to his. She could feel his fangs and knew he was still in game face, but she persisted with the kiss anyway, ignoring the small nicks in her lips from his razor sharp canines. She felt a shudder go through him when tiny drops of her blood oozed out onto his questing tongue.

Suddenly his arms were around her and she was being pressed against his body as he deepened the kiss, heedless of the damage his fangs were doing to her lips and tongue.

This was new to Buffy. As violent as their lovemaking could be, and often had been, Spike had never let his demon out when he was with her. It surprised her to find that the reminder of what he really was excited her more than she wanted to admit. While he sucked on her bleeding lips with a groan, she slid her hands under his tee shirt and stroked the smooth skin on his back, taking advantage of his distraction to caress him the way she'd been wanting to.

When she pushed his shirt up and pulled her mouth away to fasten it on one of his hard nipples, he hissed and clutched her arms. She teased him with her tongue and lips, nipping gently on the pebbled tip until he was growling so loud she was afraid the Fyrals would hear.

"Like that, don't you?" she breathed, pulling back from him and putting her hands on his chest.

"You know I do," he growled, trying to pull her into another kiss.

"Yeah," she agreed softly, "I know you do."

She pushed him gently away from her and was surprised when he didn't resist. As they eased out of the crevice, they could hear the snarling demons stomping out of the crypt and soon there was only silence overhead.

"I love Dru," he said angrily, as though she was going to argue with him about it.

"I know you do," she replied, stroking his face.

"Then what the bloody hell are you doing to me? Has the great poof got you so horny you have to hit on the first convenient vampire?"

She flinched, both at his tone and the words that reminded her that once again, she was taking what she wanted from him without thinking about what he might want.

Spike was able to see the flinch, even in the complete darkness of the room, and started to apologize, then got furious at himself for it.

What is this girl doing to me? I'm leavin' my dark princess with minions to follow a Slayer around. A Slayer who somehow knows where and how to touch me to make me crave her.

His words, and the resulting guilt she felt, were enough to douse the heat between them and she turned away saying, "I think we can leave now. You can get back to your... girl friend, and I can—"

"And you can get back to the all-so-soulful Angelus," he growled, not sure why that bothered him so much. "As horny as you are, I'm surprised the two of you aren't shaggin' like bunnies."

Buffy cringed at his cruel words, but she was grateful for the reminder of just who this Spike was at this time.

Note to self – teasing the vampire is fun; getting to close to him before he's ready – not such a good idea.

She let her fist fly into his nose and as he grabbed it with a curse, she said coldly, "Trust me, Spike. You really don't want that to happen."

She whirled, not even worrying about turning her back on an angry vampire, and leapt upward to grab the edge of the entrance and pull herself up. Without looking back, she marched out of the crypt and headed for home, grumbling to herself the whole time.

"I'd almost forgotten what a pig he was before he got the soul. Damn stupid vampire. Would serve him right if I did sleep with Angel. That'd show him what a 'ho Dru is. I could warn Jenny... we could just avoid Angelus until Willow gets the spell ready and... oh my God! I'm seriously considering sleeping with Angel! What is wrong with me?"

XXXXXXXXXX

Spike remained in the crypt until he was sure she was gone, his mind whirling. He looked around frantically, desperate for something to throw or break to relief his frustration. He couldn't believe he'd allowed himself to put his mouth on the Slayer's neck and not bite her. Instead of killing her so she couldn't interfere with curing his dark princess, he'd ended up kissing her. Thinking about kissing her reminded him of the blood he'd swallowed from her savaged lips and tongue and he groaned at the memory of its sweet, powerful taste and the effect it had on him.

In spite of the bitter words that followed the kissing, and the subsequent abuse to his nose, he was still sporting the erection he'd had since they started fighting hours ago. With a muffled curse, he unzipped his pants and wrapped his cool hand around the hard shaft and pulled vigorously until he found some small release. He tried loyally to think about his lovely Drusilla, but as friction caused his hand and cock to warm up, all he could picture was the Slayer's hot little hand touching him and as he came it was the word "Slayer" that hissed through his lips.

He bounded up to the crypt without touching the sides at all and stormed out of the graveyard, desperate for something to kill.

Chapter Six

Buffy spent the next few days waiting anxiously for Giles to come up with an answer as to where she was and how she got there, but he was still stymied in his search. He was coming perilously close to contacting the Council and explaining the situation to them, but Buffy was adamant that they not be told anything about it unless absolutely necessary.

"I don't understand you, Buffy. The Council exists to support its Slayers. Why aren't you willing to go to them for help?"

"I have one word for you, Giles. Cruciamentum." She turned her back on him, but not so quickly that she didn't see him blanch.

"Oh dear Lord, I had completely forgotten that if you have reached your twenties then you have already survived—"

"No thanks to you or your precious Council," she interrupted bitterly.

Giles was left mute while he contemplated again the things this woman had gone through and the things she knew. He determined to see how much information he could get from the Council without actually telling them what was going on. Buffy assured him that the newly called Slayer would be showing up in Sunnydale any day, and he decided her arrival would be a good opportunity to address the issues with the Council.

When he reminded Buffy of Kendra's impending arrival, she turned pale and said, "Oh my gosh! Angel! I forgot about him!"

Where in her time line, she and Angel were together almost every night for at least a little while, in this one she was avoiding him as much as possible so as not to lead him on to expect more than she was willing to give him. In spite of her angry muttering when she left Spike, she had no intention of having sex with Angel – birthday or no birthday.

She racked her brain to come up with the exact date or time of Kendra's arrival as she hurried to Angel's apartment to warn him about the other Slayer. When she got there, she could see that she was almost too late. Kendra had already locked Angel in the storage room with the window facing the sun.

After a fight that lasted a much shorter period of time, again due to Buffy's experience and creativity, she and Kendra had their stand-off about who was the Slayer and took themselves off to let Giles sort it out.

When they got to the library, Willow and Xander were also there and the redhead's face lit up when she saw Buffy. Willow was so glad to see her that Buffy realized guiltily she had not been spending the time with her best friend that she would have if she were really sixteen. Since she didn't need Willow's help with her schoolwork, and didn't want either of them around when she patrolled, both Xander and Willow were wondering what was going on with their friend.

"Hey, guys," she greeted them cheerily, "I'm sorry I've been all self-absorbed, avoido-girl lately. How about we make up for our missing buddy time by Bronzing it tonight? We can show Kendra what Sunnydale has to offer."

"Uh, Buffy? You sure you want to do that?" Xander snarked. "Might drive her right back to Jamaica, or wherever."

Buffy saw how Kendra had blushed and stammered every time Xander spoke to her and she determined to bring the sheltered slayer some small measure of happiness while she was with them. Once again, the inevitability of the things she was expected to just let happen sent her stomach into knots.

Let's see – if I never sleep with Angel, he never loses his soul, so he doesn't go back to Dru and Spike, so they don't break up, so Dru has no reason to come looking for Kendra... but I want them to break up. If she doesn't hurt Spike by sleeping with Angel... Gah! This is making my head hurt!

Telling Giles she needed him to give her some kind of decision by tomorrow, Buffy left with her friends, dragging a reluctant Kendra along to her house to get ready for their night out.

XXXXXXXXXX

She introduced Kendra to her mother, glossing over the way Kendra came to be called, and hustled her upstairs to her room for major make-over time. While Kendra was playing with the makeup on Buffy's dressing table, Buffy was looking over her wardrobe and trying to find something that would be sexy without being slutty looking.

She also dipped in to the new underwear she'd purchased to replace all the plain cotton panties in her drawer. She hoped her mother wouldn't freak out at the addition of a couple of thongs and some lacy bikinis to her boring underwear.

She dressed in a matching set of black lace panties and a black lace push up bra under a low cut red blouse and black skirt. Telling herself she was not dressing in Spike's favorite colors for any reason other than lack of anything else to wear, she added a pair of black, strappy sandals that showed off her tanned legs.

They hadn't been in the Bronze long enough for their drinks to get warm when Buffy felt the tingles that warned of an approaching vampire of some power. She tensed up, then relaxed when she recognized Angel's signature. She could tell from the disgruntled look on Xander's face that Angel was approaching the table. She could also see Kendra tensing up as she sensed the vampire's approach, but the new slayer managed to remain in her seat. Buffy could see the girl was fighting every instinct that was screaming at her to defend herself.

She glared coldly at Angel, but refrained from trying to stake him, muttering to herself instead about how unnatural it was to socialize with a vampire. Sensing a kindred spirit, Xander moved his chair closer to the grumbling Slayer and offered to keep her company.

Angel stood awkwardly for several minutes before touching Buffy's shoulder and saying softly, "May I talk to you for a minute, Buffy?"

"Sure, Angel," she said with a warm smile. "Why don't we dance while we talk?"

As they took the floor, she stood on her toes and reached her arms up around his neck. As warm and familiar as he felt, she was very conscious of the size difference between them and the awkwardness of their dancing.

"Buffy," he began. "I don't know what's going on, but I know there is something. You're so... different, all of a sudden. Have made you mad somehow?"

She sighed and leaned into him. "No, Angel, I'm not mad at you. I just... I can't tell you just yet. Can you just trust me for a little while longer?"

"I would find that a lot easier to do if I thought you trusted me," he said with almost a whine in his voice. "You can tell me anything, Buffy. You know that." He looked at her mournfully.

Yeah, right. I should tell you that if we sleep together next month Angelus will come back, That you're going to kill Giles' girlfriend to keep her from returning your soul. That I'm going to send you to a hell dimension to save the world from your insanity. And that, years from now I'm going to be sleeping with Spike and I've come back to make that happen sooner. Oh yeah, that'll go well.

Instead, she looked at him with as much compassion as she could find in her heart and said softly, "I promise. I'll tell you as soon as Giles figures out that I can." IF I can, that is. She mentally crossed her fingers.

Angel sat with them for a while, refusing, as usual, to drink or eat anything the humans did. He and Buffy danced a few more times, and she allowed herself to enjoy his affection without feeling any trace of desire or passion for him. It was obvious that what sixteen-year-old Buffy found mysterious and sexy, much older Buffy found uninteresting and attractive only in a very platonic way.

When his tentative nuzzling at Buffy's ear and attempts to hold her pressed against him were not getting him any response, the vampire gave a sad sigh and said "good night" so that he could go home to brood.

Willow looked curiously at Buffy and whispered, "Why is Angel leaving so early? Did you guys have a fight?"

Buffy could see that Willow was all prepared to be supportive and realized with a start of surprise that her relationship with Angel had required a lot of support from her friends. At the time, the drama of "Does he love me?" "Do I love him?" had seemed very natural. Now it just seemed silly. She didn't love him. Not in the same way she loved Spike, and she had no intention of leading him on and letting him think they were going to have a relationship.

She smiled at Willow and just whispered back, "No, we're fine. I'm just not as interested in him romantically as I used to be."

She shook her head at Willow's shocked look and said, "I'll be able to explain it soon."

I hope I will, anyway!

When she once again felt the tell-tale tingle on her neck, she sighed in exasperation and looked around to see where Angel was lurking. She saw Kendra stiffen beside her and as the other slayer also began to look around, Buffy suddenly recognized the signature as Spike's. She leapt to her feet and, pushing Kendra down into her chair with an, "I'll take care of this. You just stay here and have a good time," she cast around until she figured out from which direction the signal was the strongest.

She moved through the crowded bar, searching for the source of the tingle and fighting down the less vampire-related tingles that were traveling from her neck down to her hardening nipples and other suddenly aching body parts. She stopped on the edge of the crowd, near the stairs, searching for Spike and hoping Kendra would stay put.

When she felt his cool breath on her neck and his arms around her body, she leaned back into him and laughed softly when he twitched in surprise. Obviously he had expected her to be surprised and, if not frightened, at least startled. She turned around in his arms and looked up at him from under her eyelashes. Again, she had to remind herself that this was still an evil vampire and that he was probably here for a snack, not to see her.

"What are you doing here, Spike?" she demanded in her best Slayer voice, even as her hands were stroking the soft fabric of his tee shirt just above the waistband of his pants. She felt rather than heard him hiss, and he dropped his hands from her arms and backed away.

"I'm lookin' for my dinner, Slayer. What do you think I'm doin'?" he growled, adjusting himself in his jeans.

"You know I'm not going to let you kill anyone here tonight, don't you?" she said, looking at him as coldly as she could while fighting the urge to push him back under the stairs and climb up his body.

"That right, pet? And how do you propose to stop me?"

He cocked his head and gave her one of his best smirks. Running his eyes appreciatively down her body, he continued, "You don't look like you're dressed for fightin'. More like you're trying to seduce some poor ponce. What's the matter? The great poof not gettin' the message?"

"You're a pig, Spike." It was so automatic, she didn't even notice that it was the first time she'd said it in this time.

He just grinned and nodded. "You have no idea, pet."

"Actually, I do." She smiled at him, her disgust forgotten as she got another chance to needle the cocky vampire.

She was rewarded with flashing yellow eyes as he threw his arms up in the air and snarled, "Don't start that 'I know you' shit again, Slayer. I don't want to hear it."

"Really? You don't?" She allowed a little touch of disbelief and hurt into her tone and he responded immediately.

"Not unless you're going to explain it to me, I don't," he responded, dropping the snarl for a sulky tone.

Buffy sighed and wondered how many times she was going to have to make this promise and to how many people before Giles decided it was safe for her come clean with her friends and lovers.

She couldn't resist gently touching her finger to his pouting lower lip as she said, "I promise, as soon as I think it's safe, I'll tell you as much as I can."

Without thinking, he pulled her finger into his mouth and bit down gently with his blunt human teeth. When he reached to touch her lower lip, Buffy pulled his finger into her mouth and swirled her tongue around it while sucking gently.

"Bloody hell!" he groaned, pulling her back into the shadows of the stairway and wrapping his arms around her. "What are you doing to me, Slayer?"

"Nothing you don't want me to. I promise," she whispered, burying her nose in his neck and inhaling the scent of whiskey, tobacco, leather and Spike. "What do you want me to do?"

Her warm breath on his neck was making his jeans very uncomfortable and her scent was filing his senses as he responded in spite of himself.

"Want you to touch me, Slayer. Just touch me." He trembled with the effort it took not to sink his fangs into her soft skin and taste again the elixir that was her blood. He didn't know why this Slayer seemed to be trying to kill him with sexual frustration, but he was past the point of caring. All he could think about was feeling her incredible heat on his cool skin.

Instead of pulling away and calling him a pig again, as he fully expected, she slid her hand down and cupped the bulge he couldn't hide. He hissed when he felt her hand on him, and groaned when she squeezed gently.

When she began to rub and squeeze him the way she knew he wanted, he couldn't stop himself from whispering desperate encouragement in her ear.

"Ah, that's it, luv. Feels so good. Wonderful little hands you have, Slayer. Want you to—bloody, buggering fuck!"

Buffy had used her other hand to pull down his zipper and suddenly his bare cock was enveloped in her hands and she was stroking him to the accompaniment of his rasping breaths. It had been a couple of years, but she remembered exactly what it took to bring him to a shuddering release. She ran her thumb over the head of his cock, spreading the pre-cum down the side so that her hand would slide more easily.

Spike was gripping the side of the stairway over her head, his long leather coat hiding them from casual view. When Buffy felt his hips beginning to thrust into her hands, she couldn't resist reaching up to fasten her lips on his as, with a strangled cry, he came in her hands. While Spike pumped the last of his spendings into Buffy's hands he allowed himself to enjoy the feel of her warm, supple lips on his. This kiss was very different from the rough, violent one they'd shared when he was in vamp face.

This time, she was free to run her tongue around the inside of his lips, lightly over his teeth and to pull his tongue into her mouth to suck on it. He could feel himself becoming hard again as the Slayer moaned against his mouth and pressed up against him, murmuring his name.

Suddenly she pulled back and put one hand to her mouth in shock.

"Oh, oh, God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." Her eyes darted around the space frantically, and she tried to tuck his newly hard cock back into his pants. "I just meant to...I'm sorry, Spike."

The more she pushed on him, the larger and harder he became and he finally grabbed her hands and said gruffly, "If you're trying to put it away, pet, you're gonna have to keep those hot little hands off it."

Blushing furiously, she started apologizing again until he stopped her with a surprisingly gentle hand on her lips.

"Don't know what the hell you're apologizing for, Slayer. That was the best hand job I've ever had in my un-life. It's like you knew every...Fuck! " He stopped and glared at her. His tone changed entirely and she was suddenly very aware that she was standing in the dark with a master vampire and no stake hidden in her skimpy clothes.

He gripped her arms so hard she knew she was going to have bruises the next day and he ground out between his teeth, "I want to know what the hell is going on. Now."

Buffy shook her head, whether at herself for giving in to the urge to be with him in some way or in answer to his demand she wasn't sure. She was pretty sure this vampire didn't care how much she used his body for sex, but the feeling of taking something he hadn't agreed to give her was too familiar for her to feel good about what she'd done.

She'd only intended to get close enough to keep her scent on him and remind him she existed. She studied his face as well as she could in the dim light to see if he was disgusted with her behavior, but all she saw was anger and confusion.

"I... I'm sorry," she repeated again, still shaking her head. She brought her eyes up to meet his. "You must think I'm the worst ho, ever."

"Got to admit, it's not what I expect of the virtuous Chosen One," he agreed wryly. "But something's going on here. Something between us. And you know what it is. You do know me, Slayer. And I want to know how."

"To... tomorrow night. I promise. I'll tell you tomorrow night. No matter what Giles says. I promise," she added when he didn't release her arms immediately.

Instead of responding, he loosened his grip and began rubbing her arms lightly as though to sooth the marks left from his fingers. When he realized what he was doing, he snatched his hands away and shoved them into his pockets. He stared into her liquid green eyes for a long minute, then nodded abruptly and left in a swirl of black leather.

Chapter Seven

When she could no longer feel Spike's signature in the club, Buffy slowly came out from under the stairs and headed for the ladies room. She leaned over the sink to wash her sticky hands, although part of her wanted to keep the scent of Spike on her as long as she could. Before she put her hands under the running water, she brought them to her face and inhaled the scent he'd left on them.

She remembered when she used to run home from the crypt, desperate to get away from him and his pleading eyes as he tried to coax her into staying in his bed. The nights that she found the pleading too hard to resist, the nights that she weakened and allowed herself to sleep wrapped in his protective, cool embrace, she would wake up feeling the Spike-scented stickiness between her legs and before she was awake enough to remember that she hated him, she would stretch and inhale the heady aroma of their mixed fluids. Then she would remember that she was lying in the arms of a soulless vampire, who couldn't possibly love her the way he said he did, because – hey! soulless – and she'd jump up, grab her clothes and run home to scrub off any trace of him.

But the nights she ran out of the crypt as soon as she was finished with him, ignoring the pain on his face when she wouldn't meet his eyes or tell him "good-night"; those nights she would just get into bed without showering and go to sleep surrounded by his scent. She shook her head at her future self, amazed at her ability to deny what her body knew. She'd never once wondered why, if Spike was so unimportant to her, she needed to keep his scent on her if she didn't have him nearby while she slept.

Knowing Kendra would be wondering what was taking her so long and not wanting to chance the other slayer running into Spike, Buffy quickly soaped and rinsed her hands so that she could join her friends. She took a deep breath and plastered her "I'm perky" smile on her face and headed for the table.

XXXXXXXX

Outside the Bronze, Spike stopped to light a cigarette and try to get a grip on what had just happened. He couldn't deny any longer that when this Slayer said, "I know you," she was telling the truth. He also couldn't deny that the way his body responded to her nearness was not completely the result of her knowing when and how to push his buttons.

Snarling with frustration over his lack of information, he strode off toward the warehouse district, stopping only to grab a belligerent drunk for a quick feed and a bonus buzz. He hoped that the minions had fed Dru and that she would be asleep by the time he got back. He knew the last two times he'd gone out he'd come back covered with the scent of the Slayer. He'd been able to pass it off as the close contact involved in fighting with this incredibly strong slayer, but this time the Slayer's unique and delicious smell was going to be mixed with the unmistakable odor of sex. He knew Dru didn't love him the way he loved her, but she was capable of tremendous possessiveness, and he had no desire to be subjected to a temper tantrum or a crying fit.

Fortunately, she was sleeping with Miss Edith in her arms, and he was able to stay away until he could get cleaned up and wash the smell of Buffy from his body. When he finally stretched out on the bed next to the woman he'd loved faithfully for over a hundred years, his mind whirled in confusion.

I love Dru. She's my black princess, my wicked plum. Why is this slayer actin' like there's somethin' between us? I just met the chit and she's actin' like I'm some long-lost lover. She's gonna explain this to me tomorrow or I'm gonna have her for dinner.

As much as he told himself that he was only leading the Slayer on until he got his answers, as much as he insisted to himself that he could kill her at any time, in the back of his mind there was a nagging fear that if it came down to it he wouldn't be able to drain her. He would drink her blood. There was no doubt about that; he'd never tasted anything as powerful or as arousing as the blood he'd sipped from her cut lips and tongue. But the idea of taking it all and leaving her broken and lifeless just had lost all the appeal it had when he first came to town.

XXXXXXXXX

The following day Buffy skipped her history class and cornered Giles in the library.

"Giles, I need to know something. Things are going to begin to happen soon. Big, future-changing things that I'm going to have to make decisions about."

She looked up at him, her big eyes looking more like the sixteen-year-old he still wanted to believe she was as she pleaded with him to tell her what she wanted to hear.

"Buffy – I don't know... I don't know what to tell you. The Watcher in me wants nothing more than to be able to sit down and record everything you can tell me about your life for the next five years, but the idea of knowing what is going to happen to... to people I care about and not being able to stop it…."

He looked at his slayer with sudden understanding.

"Dear Lord. You have been put in an untenable position. What was Willow thinking!" His outrage on her behalf got a smile from Buffy. She wondered how he would react when she told him about being pulled out of Heaven.

"Giles, hear me out on this." She looked him in the eye and said with every ounce of the confidence that outliving any other Slayer and defeating the First Evil had given her, "I think I was put here for a reason. Whether Willow did the spell or not, I don't think she was in control of how it went. I think I've been given a chance to stop some really, really bad things from happening. I don't know how the future is going to change, but it can't be any worse than what I've already been through.

"I think instead of worrying about changing things, I should be trying to change them. I can stop Angel from losing his soul, Ms Calendar—" she broke off when she saw the look of horror on her Watcher's face.

"No, no, Giles! It's okay. It isn't going to happen. I swear."

He sat down with a small "thud" and said in a shaky voice, "Angel loses his soul? Angelus comes back? To Sunnydale? And... and Jenny? Ms. Calendar? What has she to do with this?"

"Get out your best pens and a big pad of paper, Giles. It's going to be a long afternoon."

When Buffy had given Giles a rough overview of the things that could potentially happen over the course of the next several months – leaving out exactly what it was that made Angel so happy he lost his soul – they took a break while Buffy got a Coke and he digested the information she'd given him. He went over the notes he'd taken, making note of the items that seemed important enough to risk changing and those that didn't seem to matter.

He was just about to ask her to clarify some of the things she'd told him about Spike and Drusilla and the ritual to restore the vampiress, when they heard a voice at the door.

"Rupert, I want to—oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you had company. I'll come back later."

"No, Jenny, it's all right. I'd actually like to hear your opinion about something." He looked at Buffy for permission to share her story with his girl friend and she nodded her head.

He quickly told her about Buffy's true age and apparent transport from several years in the future to their time. When he told her about the possibility of Angel's losing soul, he saw her blanch and hastened to assure her, "It will be all right, Jenny. Buffy feels she knows what caused it and can avoid the situation this time around."

He turned to his slayer and asked, "What do you think caused the curse to be broken? Was it something likely to happen?"

"Why don't we let Ms. Calendar tell you?" Buffy spoke to Giles, but she never took her cold eyes off Jenny Calendar's puzzled brown ones.

"What? Don't be absurd, Buffy. What would Jenny – Ms. Calendar know about it?"

One look at the dawning realization on his lover's face told him she knew exactly what the younger girl was talking about and his face fell.

"Jenny?"

She turned anguished eyes to the gentle man she'd come to care for so much.

"I'm sorry, Rupert. I wanted to tell you, but my uncle..." She took a deep breath and glanced at Buffy's challenging face before she continued.

"I'm a member of the tribe of gypsies that originally cursed Angelus. I was sent here to see that he continued to suffer. There was some... concern, when he started helping Buffy and appeared to be acquiring a circle of friends, that he was no longer suffering from the soul as much as he was intended to. I am supposed to see to it that he is not happy. To continue the revenge, I suppose although I would think by now he has paid a sufficient—"

"That's not the only reason," Buffy interjected angrily. "Your uncle had another reason for wanting you to keep him unhappy – a damned important one!"

The computer teacher looked at the young girl in surprise. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I really do not know what you're talking about. Perhaps I should have been more forthcoming with you and Rupert about my background, but I don't see wh—"

"Ms Calendar, what do you think will happen to the curse that is supposed to make Angel miserable if he experiences a moment of true happiness?"

Buffy waited with her arms crossed while the older woman's face gradually revealed her understanding.

"Oh, dear God. A moment of happiness, and the curse will be broken. He will lose his soul. Angelus will return. No wonder my uncle was so adamant that he remain unhappy."

"Yeah," Buffy nodded. "Angelus will return. And, trust me, Ms Calendar; you really don't want that to happen. And neither do I," she added softly. "Neither do I."

Giles stared from one to the other, anxiety and horror on his face.

"Do I even want to know why that is, Buffy?" he asked her directly, clearly referring to her words to the woman he loved.

"I doubt I really need to explain it, Giles. I'm pretty sure you understand why it would be a very bad idea."

He nodded his head with understanding, unconsciously moving closer to Jenny. He was still incredibly angry that she would have kept such a secret from them, but his fear of losing her was stronger and he put his arm around her tightly.

"I presume you know what caused his moment of happiness in your time?" he said, looking at Buffy with his best Watcher face. "And that you have an idea how to prevent it?"

"Oh yeah," she grimaced. "Not a problem. No way is he getting—Well, let's just say, if he gets that happy this time around, it won't be my fault!"

She saw from the way Jenny's eyes widened that the other woman got it, but Giles just frowned and said, "Well, good, then. We should be all right this time around."

Buffy shrugged. "We should be. Unless there's some big cosmic reason why Angel needed to lose his soul for a while. I don't think we can just assume that it won't happen some other way."

"Right then, we will need to warn everyone to be cautious around him from now on."

He looked at Buffy intently. "Are you planning to tell him any of this?"

She sighed and shrugged again. "There's someone else I have to talk to first," she said enigmatically. "But, yes, I do think we need to bring everyone up to speed on this. At least as far as my being from somewhere or somewhen else is concerned. The strain of pretending to be me at sixteen is getting kinda old."

The two adults nodded their heads as they tried to imagine what it would be like be trapped in their teen-aged bodies. Both shuddered slightly at the thought and looked at Buffy sympathetically.

"Well, then. Why don't we plan to meet later tonight and you can tell you story to everyone at once?"

Buffy nodded, saying, "Make it well after dark. I have someone else to talk to first – and I may want him here."

She said her goodbyes and left before either one could follow up on her cryptic remarks. However, Giles, by no means a stupid man, followed her exit with suspicious eyes. He had an uncomfortable feeling he knew exactly who the other person was.

Chapter Eight

Buffy waited impatiently through the rest of the day. Now that she'd decided to tell everyone, she was anxious to get it over with. But she wanted to keep her promise to Spike first. She wasn't sure exactly how much she was going to tell him, but at a minimum she knew she had to tell him where she came from and why she knew him so well.

She dressed carefully before leaving for patrol that night in a pair of tight leather pants and a low cut blouse. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and threw a denim jacket over the blouse. She studied her make up critically and added more strawberry flavored gloss before smiling in satisfaction and turning to leave.

She strolled through the cemeteries for over an hour before she felt the tingle that went all the way through her right to her womb. She stopped and sat on a tombstone, waiting for him to make himself known. When she continued to feel him without hearing or seeing him, she huffed impatiently and stood up.

"I thought you wanted to get some answers," she said loudly. "I have other people to talk to tonight. I can't wait around here for you to stop playing stalker-guy."

"I wasn't stalkin'," he said coming out of the shadows. "If I was stalkin' you, you'd have never known I was there."

She rolled her eyes and said, "I can feel you, you big dope. I know when you're near. You and Angel. I always know when one of you is around. Even if you are hiding."

"Wasn't stalkin'," he stubbornly insisted, with a small pout.

"Fine, you weren't stalking. What were you doing then?"

He mumbled something that she didn't catch and she walked closer to him, demanding, "What? You were doing what?"

"I was just watchin' you. Completely different thing, Slayer."

"Why were you watching me?"

"You're pretty," he mumbled again as he took out a cigarette and tried to appear casual. He had no idea why he'd said such a poncy thing, but when he saw the look on her face he was glad he had. She moved even closer to him and looked up at his face.

"You think I'm pretty?" she asked softly.

Think you're bleedin' gorgeous, Slayer. Could get lost in your eyes.

Aloud, he said, "Well, for a slayer, you are. 'S not like you lot are known for your good looks, you know. Most slayers are all about the mission and sod all else. At least you dress like a girl." He ran appreciative eye over her leather covered legs and ass and leered at her.

"Oh." She moved away from him again, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice.

I will NOT apologize to the Slayer. I don't care if her feelin's are hurt. I'm s'posed to be hurtin' her. That's my job. Slayer of Slayers, that's me.

Buffy started walking slowly, swinging her stake at her side and he fell into step with her, eyeing the stake carefully.

"So, Slayer, you gonna tell me what this... whatever it is... between us is? What the hell is goin' on and why you know me so well?"

Buffy gestured to a bench and sat down, looking up at him expectantly. When he continued to stand there staring at her she said wryly, "You might want to be sitting down for this, Spike," patting the bench beside her.

When he still didn't sit down she flushed and folded her hands under her armpits.

"I'll keep my hands to myself," she promised, not looking at him.

Wondering why that promise didn't make him as happy as he expected it to, he grudgingly sat down at the end away from her and leaned back.

"Well?" he demanded, pulling angrily on his cigarette. "Tell me what's goin' on."

Buffy took a deep breath, and still not looking at him, she began.

"I don't know exactly what's going on. All I really know is that I... I'm not the Buffy Summers who has been living in this – time or reality – for the past sixteen years. I've been living a different life somewhere else. Somewhere in which a lot of time has passed since I was in high school. I'm... the me that's inside... twenty-three years old. I've been a Slayer for well over seven years."

He didn't respond, just took another drag on his cigarette and waited for her to go on. When she didn't, he said mildly, "That's right old for a slayer, pet. 'Splains a lot about why I wasn't able to kill you, I guess. But it doesn't explain why you know so much about me. It's not like I'm plannin' to stay here any longer than it takes me to get Dru well."

"Well, in my timeline or realty – we really don't know which it is yet – you don't have a lot of choice. You can't leave. And Dru doesn't want to."

"And she gets her way because...?" His tone sounded slightly dangerous and she took a peek at him to try to read his face.

"Because I put you in a wheelchair for four months – and Angel loses his soul."

She tensed and tightened her grip on her stake as he vamped out and snarled.

"Angelus comes back? Who's responsible for that little bit of insanity?"

The fact that he was more bothered about Angelus' reappearance than he was about being crippled told all there was to know about the relationship between the two vampires. Spike had already hated Angelus before he came back and took Dru away from him.

"Uh, me?"

He flicked his cigarette away and stood up again to glare at her.

"So, you cripple me and you bring back that miserable bastard? Is there any reason why I shouldn't kill you right now? Save us both a lot of trouble?"

"You shouldn't because you can't."

"Don't flatter yourself, bitch," he snarled, moving closer to her. "You might have managed to make my cock sit up and take notice a couple of times, but there's been nothing between us to keep me from notchin' up my third Slayer. I can kill you as easily as I could a complete stranger."

"No, Spike, you can't," she said calmly. The fact that she was so confident and unafraid was the only thing that kept him from leaping on her, teeth bared and claws out. "Not because of what we've done in this time, but because of how well I know you. I've fought you dozens of times in my life. Probably a lot more than that if you count the times you helped me train by sparring with me. This body isn't quite as strong as the one I'm used to, but it still responds with all the moves I ask it to make. And my moves, Spike? All new to you. Yours? As familiar to me as the palm of my hand."

She waited to see how his ego would take her flat statement that she could take him whenever she wanted. She did her best to maintain her calm demeanor, but centered herself and stayed ready just in case he didn't take it well. But then he surprised her by laughing and letting his human face come back.

"So, the other night, you were jus' playin' with me?"

"Well, sorta." She gave him a shy smile. "But I wouldn't have been able to do that if you hadn't—"

"Taught you all you know, huh?" he said with a cocky grin.

Buffy rolled her eyes and huffed, "As if!" but she smiled as she said it.

"Alright, Slayer," he said, suddenly growing more serious. "That explains why you're such a brilliant fighter, but it doesn't explain why you know so much about my other... talents."

"Ego, much?" She rolled her eyes again. "I don't remember saying you had talents."

"Well, there's gotta be some reason you can't keep your hands off my tight little body." He curled his tongue behind his teeth and leaned toward her. "I'm guessin' there's a good reason why you know things about turnin' me on that even Dru doesn't know. An' I doubt you've been readin' my diary."

"You have a diary?" Buffy looked suddenly intrigued, and he rolled his shoulders in irritation.

"It was just a figure of speech, Slayer."

He was suddenly right in front of her, his keen blue eyes boring into hers.

"Why do you know those things about me, Slayer? Why can my mortal enemy make me hard just by being close enough for me to smell her?"

When Buffy leaned in toward him unconsciously, he added as he bent toward the warm lips just below his mouth, "And why does she want to do those things to one of the evil creatures she was born to kill? Why, Slayer? Why do you want me?"

Their lips met and once again, the world disappeared for both of them as they lost themselves in the taste and feel of each other. Buffy felt his arms tentatively go around her waist and she melted against him allowing him to support her body as she clung to his neck. She felt his desire for her pressing into her stomach and she moaned slightly when he pulled her even closer.

"Bloody hell, luv. Want you so bad... what are you doin' to me?" he groaned into her ear as he moved his mouth down her neck, leaving wet kisses as he did. When he ran his tongue lightly across her collarbone before dipping down to kiss along the tops of her breasts, she gasped and threw her head back baring her neck.

Without thinking, he fastened his blunt teeth on her exposed throat and sucked on the pounding pulse there. He fought down the urge to bring his demon out and sink his fangs into the tender skin he had pulled into his mouth. Suddenly he felt her stiffen and he froze wondering if he was going to get her stake though his back, but she pulled away from him with a whimper and whirled to face an approaching group of vamps.

Cursing himself for not hearing the approach of his minions and letting them catch him with the Slayer, he snarled and stepped in front of her. With an indignant snort, she shoved him out of the way and fell into a fighting stance.

The minions stopped their advance, confused that their master, who had appeared to be biting the girl, was now standing beside a very-much-alive Slayer and snarling at them.

"What d'you gits want?" he growled.

"We... Drusilla is calling for you and we came to find... why isn't she dead?" The tall, skinny vamp who'd spoken pointed toward Buffy. "Do you need help?"

While Buffy tried to hide her giggle, Spike roared at them, "No, I don't need any fuckin' help! Get the hell out of here, you morons. Go back and take care of Dru."

"She wants you to come back now," the minion repeated stubbornly. "She said to bring you back with us."

"I really don't think you want to try to do that, mate," Spike growled coldly.

"Maybe we do." The vamp who spoke next was a large, muscular minion who had expected to take over as master until Spike arrived. He moved slowly toward the older vampire, gesturing at the others to surround Spike and Buffy.

"What d'you say, pet? Fancy a spot of violence before we finish our talk?"

"It's what we do best," Buffy answered cheerily, twirling her stake.

"Right then." Without any further discussion, they sprang into action, punching and kicking their way out of the surrounding vamps and turning to dust two of them before they could react. While Buffy wielded her stake to great effect, with a minimal amount of wasted energy, Spike was reveling in the fight itself. He took out all the pent up frustration Buffy was creating in him on the faces and bodies of the vamps in front of him.

When Buffy had dusted all but the one Spike was still fighting, she sat back down on the bench to watch him gradually destroy the large vamp that had challenged him. He dropped back into his human features as though to taunt his opponent with how easily he was winning their fight. With a final kick to the bigger vamp's head, Spike held out his hand and Buffy tossed him her stake, which he drove through the chest in front of him.

As the dust settled around them, he walked back over to the Slayer and with no hesitation he handed her the stake and sat back down.

"We fight well together," he remarked, pulling out another cigarette.

"Always have," she agreed.

Neither one mentioned what they were doing when the vampires appeared and they sat in uncomfortable silence for several minutes. Spike broke the silence eventually by asking quietly, "So, pet, you gonna answer my question?"

"There was a question?"

He tilted his head and smiled at her.

"You dodgin' it, pet? Or just hopin' I'll be so gobsmacked by the kissin' I'll forget what we were talkin' about?"

"Little bit of both, probably," she admitted honestly. "Is it working?"

He sighed and let his head loll against the back of the bench.

"No, luv, it's not workin'. My question still stands. What are we to each other in your world?"

"It's... it's complicated."

"Oh no you don't, Slayer. Don't give me that 'complicated' bollocks again."

He turned to look at her and found she was looking at him with damp eyes. He felt his stomach clench at what he saw there.

"Don't," he said flatly.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I should go. I have to tell my friends and... and Angel."

She stood up and turned away to leave without answering his question. She was fairly certain that as perceptive as Spike could be, he would figure it out. She had already taken several steps when his voice stopped her.

"I love Dru."

"I know you do," she said softly.

"Did I love her in your world?"

"For a while longer, you did," she answered him honestly.

"I'd never stop lovin' her. Not for you, not for anybody. She's my savior, my reason for existence... I don't believe you. I don't leave the people I love."

Buffy came back to stand in front of the bench on which he had remained seated, his expression angry, his fists clenched.

"I know you don't," she said softly, meeting his eyes. "It's one the things I lo- like most about you."

"I'm not the Spike you know, Slayer. I don't love you."

"You want me," she replied, eyeing the still visible bulge in his jeans.

"Can't deny it. I do. But doesn't mean anything. Doesn't mean I love you."

"It's a start." She stroked the side of his face gently and gave him a sad smile, repeating, "It's a start."

When he reached for her to pull her onto his lap, she backed away reluctantly, shaking her head.

"I really do need to get back to the school. I'm sure they're all waiting for me and Giles is getting impatient."

"This when you let all your little buddies in on things?"

"Uh huh. I'm at least going to tell them about the real me. I haven't decided how much to say about what I know is going to happen, 'cause if I can stop it, then they never need to know..."

"You gonna tell the great pouf about losin' his soul?" He tried to sound casual, but she could hear the worry in his voice.

"Probably. He needs to know that it could happen. And... and how to avoid it." She looked away from his perceptive eyes and flushed.

"Believe you said it was your fault, pet. Want to let a curious vamp in on the secret?"

"No," she said flatly. "All you need to know is that it isn't going to happen this time. For more than one reason," she added quietly.

He stood up fluidly, invading her space as he did so. He dipped his head and brushed his lips over hers, enjoying the warmth of their soft touch. He pushed the disloyal comparison to Dru's cold mouth away, even as he allowed her to move her lips around on his. She gently touched his lower lip with her tongue, then pulled it into her mouth and sucked on it gently before releasing it and running her tongue over his sensitive teeth and gums.

He shivered at her touch, marveling again at how this woman knew just where and how to touch him. He deepened the kiss, pulling her against his body and reveling in the warmth pressing against him. When Buffy reluctantly broke off the kiss and pushed gently against his chest, he released his hold on her, but maintained contact with her mouth as long as he could.

He pressed his forehead to hers and with his eyes shut said, "I'd know you weren't sixteen just from the way you kiss, luv. Whoever taught you sure as hell knew what he was doin'."

She lifted her head and looked at him with her eyebrows raised in amusement.

It took a couple of seconds and then he laughed softly and shrugged. "Oh. Well. Good on me, then."

Buffy laughed softly in agreement and moved away from him.

"I really do have to go, Spike."

"Alright, pet. Aside from gettin' put in a wheel chair, anythin' else I need to know about my life for next few months?"

She looked at him steadily, then shrugged and said quickly, "Forget the Order of Taraka. Forget about the Judge – he's not quite as weapon-proof as he'd like to think. And... and Dru wouldn't be quite as unhappy as you would if Angelus came back."

She saw his face darken and realized he knew exactly what she meant by that.

"Guess we'll just have to make sure the wanker stays gone, then, won't we, pet?" he replied tightly.

"Be my first choice," she said softly. "Even if it does mean you..."

"Even if it means I what?"

"Nothing."

He looked at her with curiosity, but didn't pursue it.

"Guess you'd better get to your meetin', then, Slayer. Let your little friends know you're not a bloody teenager anymore."

"Good night, Spike," she said turning away.

"Take care, Slayer," he answered softly as he watched her walk away, golden hair bouncing in the light from the street lamps.

Chapter Nine

Buffy walked into the library to find Giles tapping his pen impatiently and her friends looking up expectantly. She paused just inside the door when she felt a tingle, then relaxed when she saw Angel move away from the wall he'd been standing next to.

"Hi, guys. I'm sorry I'm late. Made a quick patrol first and it got a little complicated."

"What happened?"

"Are you all right?"

"Why didn't you ask me to go with you?" This last came from Angel and she could hear the hurt and anger in his voice.

"Or me," Kendra added indignantly from the opposite side of the room. "You told me you weren't going patrolling tonight."

"I'm fine. It wasn't a big deal, and now Spike has a few less minions for us to worry about."

"William the Bloody has minions? How do you know they were his?" Giles' sharp tone got her attention and she turned to see that he was looking at her with more suspicion than her report warranted. She sighed mentally and resigned herself to the fact that she was going to have to tell Giles more than she wanted to about Spike and the future.

"Yes, he has minions. But not as many as he did before. He took over the Master's. Now can we get on with this?" Her tone was somewhat sharper than she meant it to be, but the look on her Watcher's face was reminding her too much of his attempt to kill Spike while she was fighting the First.

"Very well," Giles said, somewhat taken back by her tone. He still hadn't become accustomed to the idea that he was dealing with a fully adult slayer with years of experience and it grated on him when she spoke to him as an equal.

"So, Buffster, what's the what?" Xanders cheery and oblivious question broke the tension and Buffy walked to the center of the room and leaned against the table.

"Okay, I know this is going to sound... weird... even for the Hellmouth. But," she took a deep breath, "I'm not the Buffy you guys know. I mean, I am that Buffy, but I'm her seven years from now. Wil–somebody did a spell and put me back here into my sixteen year old body, but with all my memories intact."

She waited to see if anyone wanted to say anything, but Xander and Willow were just staring at her with their mouths agape. Kendra was wearing her serious face and Angel was staring at her through narrowed eyes.

"I – we waited to tell you because we don't know if I've been sent back to my past, or to an alternate dimension from mine. At first I was worried about doing anything to change what I know is going to happen, because there's no way to know what effect that would have on my world. But then I decided that if I can prevent some of the horrible things that I know are going to happen to... to people I care about, then I need to do it. There is absolutely no way I can stand by and watch things... things that I know how to stop. So, I'm telling you all about me so that when I say or do something you think is weird or wrong, you'll know I have a reason."

She turned and smiled at her two best friends. "I still love you guys as much as ever, but I've got to tell you, pretending to care about the things I cared about when I was sixteen is getting to be... let's just say I'll be taking frequent breaks from being my teenage self. Please don't take it personally, or think I don't love you."

"So," Willow ventured, "we're all still friends in your time? We stuck together?"

Buffy hesitated just long enough for Willow to begin a small frown and then said honestly, "We've had our ups and downs, but, yeah, we're still all good friends. Friends who have been through a lot together."

The relieved girl and curious boy visible relaxed back into their chairs.

"Well that's good then. Nice to know none of us get eaten or otherwise made dead."

Only Giles noticed Buffy's slight flinch and he frowned again, adding that to his mental notes of things to quiz her about.

"And what about me?" Angel's quiet voice came from the edge of the group. "Am I still around in your time?"

Buffy met his eyes and cringed a little at the pain she knew she was about to cause him.

"In the still undead sense? Yes. You are very much around. Just not around Sunnydale... of course, nobody's actually around Sun- never mind ."

She smiled at him and said sadly, "Things don't... didn't work out between us and you left me. Left Sunnydale. Went to LA and started a detective agency. Now you're the CEO of a big, formerly evil, law firm."

"That's in your time. If things can be changed, then that doesn't need to happen. I could stay here, with you."

"No, Angel," she said softly, with as much compassion as she could put into her voice, "you really can't."

She held his eyes long enough to let him see the affection she still had for him, and to see the complete lack of anything else he was used to seeing from her.

"Are you going to tell me why?" he asked somewhat angrily. "I think I have a right to know."

"Yeah, Buff, are you going to tell us so we're all 'see-the-future' people? Can you tell us what next week's winning lottery numbers are?"

Buffy laughed lightly at Xander's eagerness and started to answer him when she felt a familiar thrill go down her spine and she glanced around quickly. When she didn't see any sign of the other vampire in her life, she continued as though she had no idea he might be listening.

"I think the safest thing to do, guys, is for me to tell you what I know you shouldn't do, and if it's necessary, I'll tell you why. Actually, at this time, the only person who needs to not do something she did in my time is me." She gave everyone an apologetic smile and added, "And I am definitely not telling you what that was. Just know that I won't be doing it this time around."

"Can you tell me if I get better at magic? Can you tell me that, Buffy?" Willow's open and eager face waited eagerly for what Buffy had to say. The Slayer moved closer to her friend and patted her hand gently.

"You are capable of becoming a very powerful witch, Will. But I want you to promise me that you will let Giles guide you and be very careful about the spells you try. Will you do that for me?"

Her friend looked at her in bewilderment and said with disappointment, "Of course I will, Buffy. I would never do any spells that could hurt anyone." She paused and looked at Buffy's unsmiling face. "Would I? Oh my god, I would! I did, didn't I? Oh, I'm so sorry! What did I do? I didn't mean to...I—"

Buffy quickly stopped her friend's apologetic babbling with a comforting hug.

"It's all right, Will. You haven't done anything wrong in this time. And, believe me, you helped to save the world with your magic more than once in mine."

"I did?" she perked up immediately. "What did I do? Who did I help? Did I help you?"

Buffy laughed at the red head's eagerness and said reassuringly, "I'll tell you what you did one of these days. But not just yet."

"Any chance I was part of this world save-age, Buffy?"

Xander looked hopeful, but not at all sure of the answer, as he waited to hear about his future self.

"Oh, Xan, you know I wouldn't be able to face... the things I have to face, without all my friends supporting me. Of course you were part of it. And, actually, you saved the world all by yourself, one time."

Xander beamed and sent a triumphant sneer at Angel before settling back in his chair. When Buffy saw the look, she approached him and said carefully, "But there is one thing I'd like you to think about."

He looked at her quizzically and waited.

"Try not to be so judgmental about... people. And, give me a little credit for making good choices, huh?"

"I take it we're talking about people of the male persuasion," he asked with a wry smile. "Men I didn't think were good enough for my Buffster?"

"Yeah, kinda like that," she agreed with a smile.

No sense telling him I was referring to another vampire, just yet.

The boy gave Angel an apologetic shrug and slouched down in his chair.

"What about me, Buffy?" Angel inquired as he stalked closer to her. "Where do I fit into all this world saving that you seem to have done. Do I get to help you defeat the evil that would try to destroy it? Or do you stop letting me help you when you stop lo—"

Guess this isn't a good time to tell him he IS one of the would-be world enders.

"I thought we'd talk... privately... about that, Angel. I do have something to tell you. Something very important, but not right now."

Once again the old vampire was circling her and sniffing.

"Why do I smell him on you again?" he growled. "What the hell is going on. If you need help killing him—"

She didn't even try to pretend she didn't know who he was talking about.

"There will be no killing of Spike," Buffy said quietly and saw Angel's eyes flash amber while everyone else in the room gaped at her.

"And why would that be, Buffy?" came Giles' calm voice as he asked what everyone was thinking.

Buffy sighed, not having planned to tell anyone about Spike until she'd decided what to tell him about his future. However, with everyone staring at her expectantly and with him hiding behind her in the stacks listening, she mentally shrugged and decided to tell everyone at once and deal with the fall out.

"No one touches Spike, because in my time, he helps me save the world a couple of times – and the final time he..." She had to stop as a lump unexpectedly appeared in her throat. "… he sacrifices himself to do it."

Louder than any of the comments from the shocked humans in the room, or the roar from the unbelieving vampire, was the sound of books falling, a body hitting the floor, and a furious, "No bloody, fuckin' way!"

Buffy moved to the entrance to the corridor from which the noise was emanating and looked in amusement at the sight of Spike sprawled on the floor, fuming and covered with the books he'd knocked down when he punched the shelves.

He glared at her furiously and growled, "You just said that because you knew I was listenin', didn't you? Ha, bloody ha, Slayer. It was a riot."

She walked in and knelt down in front of him, gently removing the books covering his legs. He shook the rest of them off and sat up, putting his face that much closer to hers.

"Tell me you were kiddin', pet. Please tell me you were kiddin'," he begged pitifully.

"Sorry, Big Bad. I didn't mean to let it out quite like that, but I can't have anybody trying to stake you when I'm not around. Just in case we need some world saving again..."

He stood up and shook himself, settling his leather coat around his body and trying to regain some dignity. Buffy cocked her head at him and said softly, "Since you're here, you might as well meet the gang. But don't expect them to like you right aw—"

"Don't want them to like me," he grumbled, obediently following her out of the stacks and into the frightened and hostile faces waiting for them.

Xander and Willow drew together and tried to hide behind Giles who was holding a large cross and frowning at the close proximity between his Slayer and the vampire renowned for killing her kind.

Kendra's face was a study in confusion. Clearly the shockingly blond man behind Buffy was a powerful vampire, and just as clearly, the other slayer was unafraid to turn her back on him.

While everyone stared at the notorious vampire standing right behind Buffy, his eyes were fixed on only one set of amber orbs glaring at him.

"Angelus," he snarled.

"Spike," the other vampire hissed.

The tension in the room was palpable as the two master vampires faced each other. Buffy remained in front of Spike, the hard look on her face making it very clear that she was serious about his not being harmed by anyone.

"Buffy," Angel growled, "I don't know what he's told you, but you can't trust him. He has no soul. And you heard his reaction when you said he saved the world for you. He's pure evil, and should be put down like a mad dog."

"You plannin' to take over Dru's care, then, are you?" Spike asked mildly. "Cause she needs it even more right now than she has in the past."

Oblivious to the humans in the room, Angel stalked toward his grandchilde.

"Why did you come here? Why bring her here?"

"Thought the Hellmouth would help her heal, but it's not workin'. She needs more."

His eyes bored into the furious older vampire's, daring him to pretend he didn't know what his childe needed to recover.

"If you'll leave after, I'll do it," Angel said, never taking his eyes from Spike's. "But if you don't leave, I'll kill both of you."

Buffy stepped forward and put a hand on Angel's chest as she turned toward a surprised Spike.

"Spike, I told you I wouldn't let you do that ritual. I'm not going to let you kill Angel any more than I'm going to let him kill you."

Still meeting the other vampire's eyes, Spike answered her coldly, "Not your decision to make, pet. But he's not takin' about a ritual. He's talkin' about volunteerin'. Isn't that right, Peaches?"

The humans in the room all looked confused for a moment, until Giles said with dawning recognition, "Sire's blood. She needs sire's blood to recover her strength."

Buffy looked rapidly back forth between the two staring vampires. It was obvious that they had reached an agreement when Spike dropped his eyes and turned away with a shrug.

"Alright, then. You give her what she needs, and I'll take her away and never come back."

He ignored the way Buffy's mouth tightened when he said he wouldn't be back.

No way am I letting this chit of a Slayer interfere with restoring my dark princess. She can make all the sad eyes she wants at me. I'm gonna take my Dru and leave and never give her another thought. Don't care how good a kisser she is, or how good her blood tastes. When Dru recovers, I'm outa here. For good.

"Sounds like a plan!" Xander said into the heavy silence. "Deadboy does a little donating and the evil twosome leave town, never to be seen again. I like it."

"I don't like it," came from the normally quiet dark slayer. "For what reason would we allow a powerful vampiress to recover her strength when she could be easily slain now?"

She whirled on Buffy and said angrily, "If you won't do the job for which you were chosen and rid the world of these two, I will do it for you."

"Kendra," Buffy tried to speak in a conciliatory manner. "You don't want to go up against Dru. Please believe me. And I won't let you stake Spike. I'm sorry, but I can't do that."

"I don't understand a slayer that protects vampires," the other girl shook her head. "An' you're protecting two of them. You should be ashamed."

Before Buffy could continue the argument, the other slayer whirled and left the library, muttering to herself about traitors and sharpened stakes. Buffy sighed and added finding Kendra before she found Dru to her list of things to do.

"Let's do it," Angel said to Spike, picking his jacket up off a chair. He and Spike moved toward the door, stopping when Buffy ran after them and grabbed his arm.

"Wait! You're just going to go with him like that? I thought you told me he couldn't be trusted?"

"He wouldn't do anything to harm Drusilla. I'll be fine, Buffy." His eyes were warm as he basked in the obvious concern she felt for him. He told himself that just because she was older, it didn't mean she couldn't fall back in love with him. She hadn't indicated that she had anyone in her life at the time she was sent back.

"I'm going with you," she said stubbornly. "I don't trust any of you not to mess this up."

"Buffy," Angel tried to reason with her. "It's a very simple thing I'll be doing, but not one you probably want to watch. It's a vampire sire/childe... issue."

"Let her come, Peaches. It's high time the chit learned a thing or two about you and yours."

"Shut up, Spike," he snarled. "I don't want her watching. She's only sixteen..." His voice trailed off as he remembered what he'd just learned about this Buffy's true age.

"She's a big girl now," Spike said with a sideways look at the blushing Slayer. "She'll be alright."

"I want to go on record as saying this is a really, really bad idea," the bigger vamp said, giving in and heading for the door.

"Duly noted," Spike replied with a wink at Buffy. He gestured for her to precede him through the door and her watcher and friends stared in shock as she strode out between two master vampires looking for all the world like it happened every day.

Chapter Ten

As they approached the warehouse where Drusilla and the few minions left were waiting, Spike touched Buffy's arm gently and she dropped back beside him.

"Don't get too close to Dru, pet," he said softly. " Especially after she's recovered."

Buffy looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "You don't think I can take Dru? I'm not Kendra." She flushed when his eyes glittered and she realized she'd given away that in her time the other slayer met her fate at his consort's hands.

"I don't want to find out which of you would win that kind of confrontation," he said tightly. "An' if she smells me all over you, there's gonna be a confrontation, believe me."

"Which one of us are you worried about, Spike? I mean, I'm just another slayer, according to you. Why should you care if your "dark princess" kills me?"

The vampire ground his teeth and stretched his neck, trying to control his temper.

"I shouldn't." he said curtly. "But until I figure out why I do, no vampire touches you except me."

"Slayer, here, Spike. Vampires touch me all the time. Or try to anyway."

"You know what I mean. Are you trying to piss me off?"

She sighed and dropped her head.

"No, not really. I'll stay away if I can. But, Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"She's gonna know. She doesn't need to smell us. She knows before we do."

He nodded his head and sighed, "You're probably right about that, pet. Bloody Miss Edith will tell her if nothin' else."

"Miss Edith?"

But he just shook his head and walked faster to catch up with Angel. Buffy hurried after them and arrived at the door just in time to hear Drusilla scream.

"Daddy! My daddy is back! Look, Spike, Daddy is back and we can be a family again."

The excited vampire moved toward Angel as quickly as she could, a smile on her face. Then, she got close enough to really see him and she recoiled, hissing, "Not Daddy. Bad Spike to bring me this... thing."

"Calm down, Dru," Angel said soothingly. "It's me. I've come to help you get well. Then you and Spike can go away to someplace nice."

"Oooh, someplace with lots of lovely little children for me and pretty girls for my sweet William?"

Dru clapped her hands and began to spin around in circles, humming to herself.

Buffy cringed and fought back the urge to hurl her stake through the lunatic's chest. As badly as she wanted Dru gone, and as much as her Slayer instincts were demanding that she remove this deadly predator, she knew Spike would never forgive her if she did.

Angel had approached the now twirling woman and was attempting to get her to stop dancing around long enough to see what he was offering. When he used his own fangs to rip open his wrist and held it in front of her nose, she stopped abruptly and immediately went into vamp face.

"For me?" she breathed as she took his wrist in her hand. "Is it for me, Daddy"

"Yes, Dru, it's for you. Just enough to help you get strong again. So you can leave here."

She put his wrist to her mouth and began to suck on it, shutting her eyes in ecstasy as she did so. As she pulled on his blood, Buffy was shocked to see a bulge grow in Angel's pants and she gasped as he pulled the vampire to his body and fastened his fangs on her neck. Without releasing her hold on his wrist, Drusilla wrapped one leg around the other vampire and pressed her pelvis to his, moaning his name.

Beside her, Buffy felt Spike tense up and she glanced at him to see if she was going to need to restrain him from killing Angel. To her surprise, even though his fists were clenched tightly at his sides and she wasn't sure she didn't see tears in his eyes, he maintained his control and just continued to watch the woman he loved while she crawled all over her sire.

When she saw Drusilla unzip Angel's pants and pull his cock out to slip under her dress, Buffy blushed like the sixteen-year-old whose body she was wearing and she tried to turn away. But Spike grabbed her arms and pulled her in close to his chest as he forced her to watch. She could feel his erection pressing into her ass and she unconsciously pushed back against him, eliciting a groan.

"Watch, Slayer," he whispered into her ear, his cool breath sending shivers down her spine. "Watch and learn what a vampire really is."

"I don't want to watch this, Spike," she hissed at him. "And I can't believe you want to watch it either. Let me go."

"You really want me to let you go, luv? Are you sure about that?" he asked, rubbing himself against her warm body. "I thought you wanted me?"

"Not like this, I don't. Let me go!" She struggled against the steel bands of his arms and to her dismay, she felt tears start in her eyes.

The instant he smelled her tears, he loosened his hold and to her amazement, he buried his face in her neck, murmuring how sorry he was and asking her to forgive him. She pushed him away and turned around to face him, only to find that he wouldn't meet her eyes.

"What the hell was that!" she snarled.

"That was the evil one being a vampire," said a cold voice behind them.

They both whirled to find Kendra standing in the entrance to the room, holding her stake in one hand and a sword in the other. Buffy unconsciously moved between Spike and the other slayer, ignoring his angry growl and putting out her arm to prevent him from getting in front of her.

"Kendra, you need to leave here. Please, listen to me. Just leave. They'll be done soon and then Spike and Drusilla will leave and you can go back to... wherever... and worry about your local vamps."

Instead of answering her, the other slayer flew across the room and whirled her sword at Drusilla's head. A large, meaty hand came up at the last second and grabbed her wrist, wrenching it so the sword fell to the floor. Drusilla turned languidly and without moving at all, she gestured to her eyes and said in a sultry voice, "Be in me". Kendra froze in place and before Buffy could say anything, the vampire's talon-like fingernails had sliced the other slayer's throat.

Buffy moaned and started toward the group, only to be stopped by Spike's hand on her arm.

"Don't, pet. Somethin's not..."

Buffy looked at the tall vampire now leering at her and felt her blood run cold. She knew that face and those eyes. She still saw them in her nightmares every now and then.

"Angelus," she breathed.

"Hello, lover," he answered, licking his bloody lips.

"You need to leave, luv," Spike whispered into her ear. "You can't fight both of them."

"Get her out of my town, Spike," she responded as she whirled and flew out the door. She ran until her lungs were screaming for air, then sat down on the curb and sobbed into her hands.

Chapter Eleven

Buffy allowed herself a few minutes of mourning for her sister slayer and for her inability to prevent Angel from losing his soul, then stood up and, wearing her determination on her face, she raced to Giles's apartment. She banged on the door until the disheveled-looking man let her in, then immediately went to the phone and began dialing Willow's number.

As soon as her sleepy friend answered, she began giving instructions, which she then had to repeat as Willow came awake and realized who was talking to her so rapidly.

"B-Buffy? What are you saying? Angel doesn't have his soul anymore? What do you want me to do?"

"The first thing you need to do is a dis-invite spell for your house. Right away. I don't know how long it will be before he starts trying to—Just do it, Will. Now."

Buffy paused for breath. From the corner of her eye, she could see the blood drain from Giles' face has he processed what Buffy was telling her friend. To her surprise, an equally upset Jenny Calendar appeared behind him, wearing Giles' bathrobe and clutching it around her slender body.

"What's the next thing, Buffy?" came Willow's voice over the phone.

"We're going to need someone to do a spell to restore his soul. Someone who can recreate the curse..." She kept her eyes on the self-styled techno-pagan and was gratified to see awareness and then nodding acceptance in the warm brown eyes.

Buffy nodded back and asked Willow to go to her house as soon as it was daylight and do a dis-invite spell there also. She could see that Giles was already looking in a book for the proper words to work on for his apartment.

Jenny immediately went into the bedroom and began throwing on her clothes. She needed to get back to the school and into the computer lab immediately if she was going to locate anyone who might know where to find the curse spell.

Buffy next called Xander to warn him not to let Angel in, should the vampire show up at his door. She could almost feel the self-satisfied smirk on her friend's face when she told him Angel had become dangerous, and she had to fight the urge to run over there and smack it off. Fortunately for him, the boy had enough sense to keep his "I told you so" to himself and Buffy hung up after warning him to be careful.

While Giles worked his dis-invite spell, Jenny came out of the bedroom and walked over to Buffy.

"How did this happen? I thought you were going to be sure that he didn't have that moment of happiness?"

"Apparently, I'm not the only thing that makes him happy," she replied tightly.

Jenny just blinked, then nodded her head and began to put her jacket on.

"Where are you going?"

"To the school, to begin searching for the curse."

"Not now you're not," the Slayer said fiercely. "Not until daylight. You don't go anywhere at night without me."

"Why is that, Buffy?" came Giles' cold voice. "Is there something else we should know that you haven't told us?"

Buffy sank down onto the sofa and put her head in her hands. Suddenly the Slayer was gone and there was a young woman who had seen too much death and pain fighting to hold back tears.

"I'm getting scared, Giles. I couldn't save Angel's soul; I couldn't save Kendra. What if everything is going to happen all over again, no matter what I do to change it?"

"Then we will deal with it when the time comes," he said soothingly. "But you need to tell us what we have to worry about if we are going to be of any help to you."

The gypsy woman looked at Buffy with haunted eyes and asked, "Can we start with why I can't go out at night without a bodyguard?"

Buffy met her eyes and said flatly, "Because Angelus will find you and kill you before you can give us the spell we need." She turned her eyes to her watcher's stunned face. "And you really do not want me to tell you how he uses her death to torment you. One of the things I know about Angelus is that he loves to toy with his victims before he kills them. He is a master at mental torture. It's why Drusilla is the lunatic she is. He made her mad before he turned her."

"How do you know this, Buffy? Surely Angel didn't tell you?"

"Actually, he kind of did tell me about Dru, although he left out a lot of details. When... when he has his soul, he's ashamed of it. It was Spike who told me more about what Angelus was like before he lost his soul."

"Which brings us to the next question. How does William the Bloody fit into this? Where and how did you become so familiar with the killer of slayers that you trust him as much as you obviously do?"

Buffy sighed and leaned her head against the back of the couch, closing her eyes.

"I really had hoped to put this off for a while, but I guess you have a right to know. When Angel loses – lost his soul, in my time, Spike was in a wheel chair healing from a broken back." When her watcher raised his eyebrows questioningly, she nodded shortly, verifying her part in that, and then went back to her story. "He spent months being tormented by Angelus; watching him ... well, watching Angelus and Dru together; having to depend on a sadist and a lunatic for everything, including food.

"When the two loony tunes decided to end the world by restoring Acathla, he came to me for a truce. Turns out Spike likes the world the way it is. He offered to help me stop them, if I would let him take Dru away somewhere far from here. They, Angelus and Dru, didn't know he could walk again, so he was able to take Angel by surprise and give me time to get in and attack him."

"And what happened? I presume you were able to stop Acathla?"

"I was too late. Angelus had opened the portal and the only way I could stop it was to stab him and send him through it."

"I'm sorry, Buffy, that must have been difficult for you."

"You have no idea," she said shortly. "It made me run away to LA and quit slaying for months." She stopped and looked at her clearly concerned Watcher. "That was the sixteen year old me, Giles. The one that thought Angel was the love of her life, her soul mate. I'm not that naive little girl anymore. If I get a chance to kill him now, I'll take it. That's why I'm hoping that Willow and Jenny will come up with the spell to re-soul him before I have to kill him again."

"And this trust of Spike stems from that one incident in which he helped you in order to save his girl friend from Angelus?" Giles was wearing the face she had seen way too many times in her lifetime and she answered with what could only be called a snarl.

"No, it stems from years of his helping me, caring for my sis-family, protecting my friends when I couldn't be here to do it, and loving me unconditionally no matter how I treated him. Not to mention, the whole going-up in-flames-to-save-the-world thing."

Giles flinched back from the very strong and obviously angry girl.

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I just find it very difficult to believe that William the Bloody could turn into someone to be trusted. Not without being cursed with a soul, like Angel was. What would possess him to do such a thing?"

"Did you miss the 'loving me unconditionally' part of my little tirade?" she asked with a sad smile. "He did it for me. Because he loves – loved me."

"He loved you? Without a soul? Extraordinary! I should like to speak with him about this—" He broke off, remembering that the Spike she was referring to was dead.

"But, Buffy," he said gently, "this is not your Spike. This one is still in love with Drusilla."

"So he keeps reminding me," she said wryly.

Giles blinked in surprise.

"You've talked about this? He knows?"

"I haven't told him very much. But he knows there is – was – will be something between us. He just hasn't realized it yet."

"And, yet, still you trust him?"

"Yes, I do. And that is the last time I will have that trust questioned. By you, or Xander, or Angel, or anyone else."

Her expression was pure Slayer and clearly indicated the conversation was over as far as she was concerned.

When no one was able to break the silence that followed her ultimatum, she stood up and headed for the door.

"I have to get home to warn my mom. Angel has a free pass to my house that she doesn't even know about."

"Be careful, Buffy."

"I'll be fine," she said with no inflection. "If he's counting on my feelings to protect him this time..." She didn't finish her sentence, just shrugged and went out into the night.

XXXXXXXX

When she got to Revello Drive, she was surprised to see a light on in the kitchen and her heart rate sped up as she hurried up the walk. Fearing what she would find, she rushed into the kitchen, only to find Spike sitting quietly with her mother and sipping on a cup of hot chocolate.

"You let him in?" she practically shrieked at her mother. "You know what he is, and you let him in?"

Her mother looked embarrassed and said haltingly, "I... he seemed so worried. And you weren't home yet. And he was so sad... and, yes," her chin came up as she remembered that his was her teenage daughter lecturing her. "I let him in. It's my house and I'll invite in whom I please."

Buffy just sighed and rolled her eyes. Then she whirled on the vampire.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be trying to get your ho-bag of a girl friend out of here like I told you to?"

His eyes flashed amber for a second, and Buffy unconsciously reached for the stake in her waistband. They glared at each other for a minute, then his shoulders slumped and he said quietly, "You were right, pet. She won't leave her precious 'daddy'. Couldn't stand to watch them anymore, so I came to find you."

"I'm not quite sure how to take that," she said, relaxing a little.

"Can't say I'm sure how I meant it." He gave her a small smile and she smiled back and pushed the stake back down.

"But I wasn't here. Why did you come in?"

"Thought you wouldn't want your mum all alone here without you to protect her. I figured the great poof prob'ly has an invite, yeah?"

"Yeah, he does."

"Buffy," her mother said in her best what-the-hell-is-going-on-here voice.

Ignoring her for a minute, Buffy stepped closer to Spike and said softly, "So, you stayed here to protect my mother, huh?"

"Well, that, and she makes great hot chocolate." He beamed at Joyce, than turned to Buffy to growl, "Tell anybody and I'll kill you."

Buffy heard her mother gasp at that remark, but she was too busy laughing at him to reassure the older woman. When Joyce saw that Buffy wasn't afraid of the vampire, she sat back down and sipped at her own cup.

"So," she said conversationally, "are you two going to tell me what's going on? And who is the 'great poof'?"

"Un, that would be your daughter's ex-boyfriend," Spike volunteered even as Buffy was frantically trying to signal him with her eyes.

"Boyfriend? Ex-boyfriend? My sixteen year old daughter has had a boy friend long enough for him to be a ex, and I haven't met him?" Her mother's tone was cool and disappointed.

"Sixteen?" he turned wide eyes on Buffy. "You haven't told her yet? Your own mother?"

"Told me what? Buffy what is going on around here?"

With a fierce glare at the grinning vampire, Buffy attempted to tell her mother about her true situation, but she could see that it was asking a lot to expect a woman who had just found out about her daughter's calling and vampires and demons, to make a leap of faith and believe in time travel and alternate dimensions.

"You—you're not sixteen?" her mother asked with a bewildered look between her daughter and Spike, who was nodding enthusiastically.

"My body is. But the person inside it? Not so much, Mom. I've been around for another six or seven years. Very rough years, I might add. So if I seem..."

"Bossy? Cranky? Full of myself?"

"Shut up, Spike." She spoke without thinking, then suddenly the familiarity of that phrase made her stomach clench and she grasped the kitchen counter with white knuckles.

Joyce watched in bewilderment as he immediately stopped grinning and flowed from his seat to her daughter's side, holding her gently while she blinked back tears.

" 'M sorry, pet. Used to say that to me a lot, did you?"

She leaned toward him, nodding and resting her forehead against his chest just so she could inhale his scent for a short period of time. She finally stood up straight and pulled back, looking up at him apologetically.

"Sorry, I just really miss you... him... sometimes, and it's hard to be around you and not..."

"I'm sorry I can't be him for you, pet. I wish I could be. But I'm not. You can push my buttons all you want, but it's not gonna change that."

She nodded and moved away from him, only to see her mother looking back and forth between them with a puzzled frown.

"Am I missing something here?" her mother inquired.

"I'll explain it later, mom," Buffy said tiredly. "Why don't you go back to bed. I'll stay up until Willow gets here in the morning to do the dis-invite spell. Just let me check the upstairs before you go up there and make sure there's nothing there that shouldn't be."

Buffy went quickly up stairs and carefully checked all the rooms, including the closets, before locking the windows closed and calling downstairs to let her mother know it was all right to go to bed.

XXXXXXX

Meanwhile, Joyce was putting the hot chocolate ingredients away and the mugs in the dishwasher. She watched the vampire from the corners of her eyes and saw that he had a very pensive look on his face.

"So, in her own time my daughter and you are together?"

He started at the sound of her voice and shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, we were, it seems. She really hasn't told me much about it, jus' that we've known each other for a long time and I help her with her work. And, that 'm not around anymore."

"You left her?" There was a touch of motherly disapproval in her voice.

Spike grinned at her ruefully, "Don't be grabbin' a weapon, there, Mum. I think 'm not around in the now-he's-a-big-pile-'o-dust sense of the word."

"Oh. Oh! I'm sorry, Spike." Joyce looked horrified at his casual acceptance of his death.

"Not to worry, Joyce. Slayer's planning to do things a little differently this time. Wants to avoid all the bad stuff she knows about. Dunno if it's gonna work – didn't keep the poof from losing his soul again, or newbie from meetin' her end—" He stopped at Joyce's muffled gasp and ducked his head.

"Sorry, Joyce. I forgot you didn't know about that. Slayer's really gonna kill me now."

At her startled expression, he grinned again, "Figure of speech, luv. Jus' meant she'll be brassed off that I let it slip out like that."

Shaking her head at the way Buffy, and now Spike, had her in a permanent state of befuddlement the past week, she said goodnight and went to meet her daughter at the bottom of the stairs.

After assuring Joyce that the upstairs was safe, and making her promise not to open any windows and to scream if she heard the slightest unusual noise, Buffy kissed her mother goodnight. If Joyce was confused by the unusual amounts of physical affection Buffy had shown this past week, she resolutely pushed any thoughts of why that might be to the back of her mind.

Chapter Twelve

After sending her mother to bed, Buffy walked back into the kitchen to fix herself something to eat and drink. As she rummaged through the refrigerator, looking for a coke or something with caffeine in it, she looked over her shoulder at the vampire still sitting on a kitchen stool.

"Want something?" she asked, flushing as his gaze went over her jeans-clad rear end.

When he saw the flush he laughed and gave her his best leer. "What're you offerin', pet?"

"You're a pig, Spike." Again the automatic insult caused her to squeeze her eyes shut briefly, but she shook off the feeling and smiled at him as she closed the refrigerator. "It's a good thing I've had years to get used to it or it might've got you a bloody nose."

Spike hadn't missed the twinge of pain he'd caused her and he was instantly sorry he'd caused it. Since she didn't mention it, he decided to pretend he hadn't noticed and he just leered at her again.

Buffy rolled her eyes and came over to sit on the other stool. While she nibbled on a sandwich, she said, without meeting his eyes, "Thank you for staying here with Mom. I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome, pet. You mum's a right nice woman. I like her. Wouldn't want anything to happen to her."

To his surprise, she again squeezed her eyes shut and this time she couldn't hide the pain on her face. Once again, he was off his stool and holding her gently, allowing her to lean into his chest.

"Bloody hell, pet. Has anything good happened to you in the next few years? It's gettin' so 'm afraid to say anythin'. If I wanted to make you cry, I'd be chewin' on your neck or somethin' more fun than jus' talkin'."

Her shoulders shook with combined tears and laughter as she slipped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his chest. For just a few minutes, she allowed herself to enjoy the comfort of his familiar embrace before she remembered that this Spike, as sympathetic as he might seem to be, was not in love with her and probably didn't want her tears soaking his shirt.

"I'm sorry," she sniffed, pushing herself away slightly to look up at him. "I got your shirt all wet. You're going to think I'm such a crybaby."

"Naw, pet. I know you're not a crybaby. Never seen a Slayer like you before. You've got friends and family, things that should make you weak; but instead, it's like they make you stronger."

"Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't," she said cryptically.

They stood together awkwardly. Spike was enjoying the feel of her warm body in his arms and the unique scent she had. Buffy was reluctant to pull out of his embrace until she had to. With her eyes shut, she could pretend he was her Spike and that he loved her.

Finally, when it became obvious somebody had to do something, she tightened her arms around his waist in a small hug and said, "Thank you," before stepping back from him.

Spike dropped his arms, a little surprised at how hard it was to let her go, and stepped back also.

"Anyway," she began with a shaky laugh, "what I was starting to say when my sniffles so rudely interrupted me, is that I appreciate what you did, but now that I'm home, you can—"

"Got no where to go, luv. Don't fancy sittin' around listening to your ex and Dru shaggin' each other silly."

He kept his tone light, but Buffy could see the pain in his eyes and the part of her that wasn't jealous of his feelings for the brunette vampire ached for him. She put her hand on his arm and asked softly, "I'm going to stay up and watch TV until the sun is up. Do you want to stay and keep me company? Help me stay awake?"

"Sure, pet. Be my pleasure."

They moved into the living room and after a laughing tussle over the remote, settled on the couch to watch an old movie. They both sat stiffly at first – Buffy because she didn't want to appear clingy by snuggling up to him, as much as she wanted to do so; and Spike because he didn't want her to think he was trying to take advantage of the way she felt about the Spike that wasn't him.

But as the night wore on and Buffy was having a harder and harder time staying awake, her weight gradually shifted toward the slight dip in the cushions his weight was causing. When she caught herself falling asleep and slipping toward him, she came upright with a start and looked around quickly. She found Spike looking at her with amusement, his eyes twinkling.

"What kind of a slayer falls asleep sittin' next to a vampire?" he teased her gently. "Seems like a career endin' move, pet."

When she didn't answer him, but just looked embarrassed, he put his arm around her and gently pulled her toward him.

"Was just kiddin' with you, luv. I'm not sleepy. You can rest on me and I'll wake you if you're needed."

"I don't think that's a very good idea," she said softly, with a grateful smile.

He raised his eyebrow and tilted his head. "Don't trust me?"

She couldn't decide if she heard a touch of hurt in his voice or not.

"I do. You know I do. It's just... it's too easy to forget that you're not... not my Spike. Not yet, anyway," she added with a trace of a smile.

He sighed and pulled her into his lap with both arms. She stiffened with resistance for a minute, then relaxed and curled into him.

He though for a minute about what he wanted to say, then began softly, "I'm not your Spike, Buffy. I don't know if, in this time, I ever will be. I know you think I will, but I just can't see it right now. And I'm sorry I can't. Believe me. I can see that you'd be very easy to love. But I'm a one-woman kinda man. Always have been."

"Love's bitch," she murmured into his chest.

He drew back in surprise, then chuckled and leaned in to rest his chin on her head. "I guess you could say that, pet."

"I didn't say it. You did. Long time ago – well, no actually, about a year from now... never mind. It's your phrase, not mine."

"Yeah, sounds like me," he admitted, chuckling again. He unconsciously nuzzled her hair, inhaling the clean, herbal smell.

Buffy almost held her breath as she felt him breathing in her scent. She knew her hair was one of his favorite things to scent and play with, and she was afraid to say or do anything that might make him stop. She rested one of her hands on top of his arm and began to gently move her thumb back and forth in a soothing motion. She was enjoying the feel of his cool, smooth skin as she stroked her thumb back and forth idly and she almost didn't notice when his breathing stopped and he became very still.

She did, however, notice the growing bulge under her rear and she shifted slightly to slide it between her thighs. A growl from the vampire made her catch her breath, and she turned her head and tipped it up so that she could nuzzle his neck. She nipped on the spot below his jaw that she knew was sensitive and elicited another growl from him.

"What're you doin', luv?" he asked hoarsely. "You know you've got an unfair advantage here; knowin' me like you do..."

He shuddered when she ran her tongue down the skin of his throat and sucked the skin above his collarbone into her mouth. She sucked hard on the skin until she knew the borrowed blood was staining his pale flesh, then she whispered, "Mine."

Spike shot upright, almost dropping her off his lap.

"What the hell?"

Buffy took his face in her hands and made him look in her eyes. "When you take Drusilla away from here – and I know you are going to leave – I want to be sure you know there's a reason to come back. When you're ready. I'll wait for you."

"Buffy..." His face was a study in suppressed desire, pained understanding and frustrated affection. "Buffy, I can't pretend I don't feel something' for you. Don't know what it is, don't know why, but I won't deny it's there. But, I've told you. I love Dru. Have for over a hundred years. I can't love you, Slayer. That's just the way it is."

To his amazement, instead of being sad, Buffy shook her head and laughed to herself. "So that's what it sounds like to hear that and know it's not... Poor Spike."

She looked into his puzzled eyes. "Someday I'll tell you why it's funny that you would say that to me. But, not now. Now I want to make love to you. Will you let me do that, Spike? Please?"

Buffy briefly wondered if a person could be killed by a heavy dose of irony as she waited for Spike to answer her. She could see the internal struggle taking place and knew that he wasn't struggling so much with cheating on Dru as he was wondering if making love with Buffy would be fair to her.

Puts him way ahead of me in the thinking about somebody else's feelings department. But then, I already knew that didn't I? I'm the user in this relationship, not him.

She touched his face gently with her hand and looked into his conflicted eyes.

"It's okay. It really is. I know what I'm doing. Just let me have this before you leave. Okay?"

"Well," he tried to sound disinterested, even as his hands began sliding over her body, "it guess it's the evil thing to do. And I'm definitely evil, so..."

"That you are, Big Bad," she said as his lips closed on hers.

Their tongues met and tangled, fighting for dominance as they let lust take over their bodies. Spike's hands slid under her shirt to move over her warm silky skin and she moaned when his hand tentatively cupped one breast. She pulled on his tee shirt until he shifted forward to allow her to pull it up and over his head. She immediately fastened her mouth on his nipple and began pulling on it lightly, smiling to herself when he hissed in appreciation.

It soon became obvious that the couch was not going to allow them the room they needed and Buffy slid off his lap to the floor, pulling him down with her. When he tried to lay her down, she shook her head and pushed him gently down on his back.

"No, Spike. I'm making love to you tonight." The way you always wanted me to and I was too afraid to let you have. "You just lie still. Let me please you."

He looked up at the vision straddling his hips and nodded silently. What ever she wanted – whatever was going to make her feel better when he was gone. He would give her that.

With her golden hair hanging in her face, her cheeks flushed with heat and her eyes heavy with desire, he thought he'd never seen anything so beautiful. He had to fight to remain still while she slowly kissed her way down his body, pausing at the waistband of his jeans to lick his belly button while she worked on the snap and zipper.

His freed erection sprang out into her hand and she began to stroke it softly while the other hand tried to shove his jeans off. When one hand wasn't enough, she planted a kiss on the tip before sliding down his legs to untie his boots and pull them and his jeans off. Except for lifting his hips to allow her to remove his jeans, Spike remained obediently still, waiting to see what she would do next.

Sitting on his now-bare legs, Buffy pulled her own shirt up over her head and threw it and her bra onto the couch behind her. He couldn't control his gasp as her perfect breasts bounced lightly in front of him and his hands reached for them. She lightly smacked them back down, saying, "Ah, ah. I'll let you know when you can touch."

"Bossy little bint, aren't you?" he growled, but he was smiling when he said it, and obediently crossed his arms behind his head. Buffy lost focus for a second when that position showed off his wonderfully lean and muscular torso and bulging biceps.

Damn show-off vampire. Thinks he's pretty hot stuff she grumbled to herself, even as she had to admit that the sight in front of her was making her mouth water.

When he teased her for sitting there, mouth agape, with, "Cat got your tongue, Slayer?" she narrowed her eyes and leaned down to lick his cock from bottom to top. She then swirled her tongue around the head, sticking it under the foreskin and pushed it out of her way so she could lick the pre-cum off.

"What do you think?" she asked sweetly. "Have I lost my tongue, vampire?"

Before he recovered himself to answer her, she bent over him again and began working his cock into her throat as far as she could get it. When his hips pushed up toward her, she held him down with one hand on his lower abdomen. With the other hand, she gently massaged his balls, pulling gently on the sac before grasping the base of his cock with her hand to hold it still while she continued to move her mouth up and down on it.

Each time she pulled it in to her mouth she got it a little further down her throat. If her mouth hadn't been so stretched by his ample girth, she would have been smiling at the incoherent sounds coming from the vampire. When the sounds he was making told her he was ready to come, she took a deep breath and began swallowing. The swallowing action was all it took to send him over the edge and he muffled his shout with his fist as he emptied himself into her throat.

As soon as he dropped back, taking totally unnecessary recovery breaths, she stood up, one leg on each side of his hips. Spike stared up at her in awe as she stood there, legs apart, hands on hips, a self-satisfied smile on her face. She cupped her breasts with her hands and lifted them slightly, rubbing her thumbs across the hard nipples.

She heard him growl and put one bare foot on his chest to hold him down.

"Just wait your turn, there, vampire."

He watched through narrowed eyes as she unfastened her pants and peeled them off down her legs, stepping off his body for a second to free up one foot. Then she straddled him again and pushed them down and off the other foot. He stared up at her worshipfully, taking in the sight of her long tanned legs ending in neatly trimmed light brown curls that glistened with moisture.

"I could look at this sight for hours, luv," he barely managed to get out.

"I know," she smiled. "It's one of your favorite things. Right after what I just did to you."

"Please tell me I taught you to do that, pet. I would hate to think you wasted a talent like that on the great poof, or some human prat."

"You pretty much taught me everything I know, Spike," she answered, suddenly serious. "I didn't know anything about love or love making until you."

"You tellin' me I popped your cherry?" he asked in amazement.

"Well, no. Not in my time line – but..." She gestured at her sixteen-year-old body. "I guess this one's yours. If you want it," she added, looking away with sudden shyness.

So fast that she wasn't sure he'd even moved, he'd reached up, wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her down to the floor with him. He rolled them over so that she was looking up at him with wide eyes as he settled his hips between her thighs.

"If I want it? Bloody hell, woman. Don't think I've ever wanted anything quite so much in my unlife." He studied her youthful face for a few seconds and asked softly, "Are you sure you want me to do this, pet? I know the real you in there isn't a shy little virgin, but you could do whatever you want with this body. Doesn't have to be me."

"I want it to be you, Spike. Nobody else is ever going to touch this body. It's yours. Please take it. Give me that to keep until you come back."

He shut his eyes briefly to hide from the love he could see openly expressed in hers. As much as he wanted the nubile, young body underneath him, he didn't want to lie to her about his intentions. He groaned and buried his face in her neck.

"Want you so much, Buffy. Want to bury myself in your heat and stay there for weeks."

She wriggled her hips as though to ask, "What's the problem?" and he chuckled in spite of himself. When he still didn't make any attempt to enter her, she sighed and nudged him with her nose until he raised his head.

"I know you're not my Spike. I know you don't love me – that you think you're taking advantage of me somehow. And I love that you can worry about that when I never..." She pushed aside all thoughts of the months she used his body with no thought to what she might be doing to him emotionally, and continued, "but I am a big girl. And I want this. I want to feel you inside me, feel you... I just want to feel you... again. Trust me. I know what I'm doing."

His perceptive eyes bored into her completely open and honest gaze until he saw what he wanted to know and he nodded his head as he leaned toward her mouth.

"Alright, luv. That pretty much uses up any ability I might have had to talk myself out of it."

With that he captured her mouth again and began an oral assault on her that continued until she was gasping his name and almost sobbing with need. He kissed her until she had to stop to gasp for air, and while she was filling her lungs, he moved his mouth down to her breasts and feasted on the pebble-like nipples he found there.

When he began sucking on one of them and she arched up into his mouth with a whimper, he smiled to himself as he added, "likes her nipples sucked on" to the things he was learning about her. He worked his way down her body, tasting her silky skin as he went and committing the feel and taste and scent of her body to his memory.

When he got to her damp curls, the scent of her arousal made his cock so hard it ached. As much as he loved Drusilla, he had to admit that she had never had this effect on him. He buried his face and began to seek out the source of the ambrosia he was inhaling. He pushed his tongue gently into her folds and ran it around the outer lips, dipping down to her entrance to lap up the continuous moisture he found there.

When he began flicking her clit with his tongue, her soft whimpers became higher and more frantic as he teased her unmercifully. When the whimpers turned to sobs, he relented and pulled the throbbing nubbin into his mouth and sucked on it until her hips shot up and her thighs clenched around his head.

Before she could recover from that orgasm, he had crawled up her body and placed the head of his cock at her opening. He nudged his way in as far as he could go, and when he met the tiny barrier they both knew he was going to find, he paused to ask, "Are you ready, luv? I'll make it as painless as I can."

Her response was to grab his ass with both hands and pull him toward her hard enough to begin the tear. Fighting to control his demon when the scent of blood reached his nostrils, he pushed gently, entering her a little further with each push and stretching the tissue a little more each time.

When she brought her legs up around his back to give him better access he stopped trying to ease his way in and with a shove of his hips, he buried himself to the hilt in her warm wetness. He held still once he was in, while she got her breath back and got used to him. Her walls felt like warm velvet and he groaned when she tightened them around him gasping, "Oh my god, I've missed this. Missed you."

He began moving slowly, giving her time to feel the pleasure out weigh the remaining pain, but it wasn't long before he was pounding into her and gasping his own nonsense words in her ear.

"You feel so good, luv. Oh, like that, Slayer. Squeeze me again, pet. Feels so good. You're so tight, so hot and wet for me. Oh my god, Buffy. Feels like bloody heaven, your cunny does."

"Spike, Spike, Spike," Buffy maintained a steady chant of his name as she wrapped her arms and legs around him as though she would hold him to her by pure slayer strength.

When he felt her begin to quiver and her whimpered chant turned into a keening wail, he let himself surrender to the tension building in his balls and he joined her in finding release. As he did, his demon emerged and before he could stop himself, his fangs had nicked the skin on her neck and he was lapping at the drops of blood there.

Once again the taste of her blood was overwhelming and he found himself murmuring, "Mine" against her skin.

"Yours," she breathed in agreement. "Always yours."