Title: McKay's Mistake
Author: Skye Graham
Rating: K
Genres: Humor / Whump
Word Count: 1414
Spoilers: None, set after Atlantis returns to the Pegasus Galaxy
Warnings: None
Characters: John S., Rodney McK., Ronon D., and Teyla E.
Disclaimer: If I owned them, they would still be living on Atlantis and saving the Pegasus and Milky Way Galaxies!All original ideas are mine. No money has been or will be made from the characters of Stargate Atlantis who belong to MGM.
Summary: Rodney whumps the whole team all by himself.
Author's Notes: A special thanks to godsdaughter 77 for her help and the many, many emails that got my first story ready to launch. My thanks to SasseyJ, and authors godsdaughter77, stella-pegasi, and theicemenace for their encouragement. Also thanks go out to all the Stargate Atlantis fan fiction authors who have kept me entertained and make the SGA saga continue.
All mistakes are mine.
McKay's Mistake
It had been eight hours since we had gone through the gate. My head hurt, I was tired, muddy, hungry and fed up with Rodney's continual talking. Teyla had been silent for the last hour; and Ronon, well, he was disgruntled. What we thought was going to be an easy op had ended up being the 'op from hell.'
"I don't know why we have to leave, Sheppard," Rodney whined "we haven't found the source of the first energy reading I had and I just know if we stay a bit longer..."
"Let me at him." Ronon lunged and would have grabbed McKay had I not put myself between the two.
"Easy Chewie," I placed my hand on his chest hoping contact would somehow direct his attention to me instead of McKay.
"I can't believe you're still mad at me Ronon; I said I was sorry." McKay looked between Ronon and me with an expression that was both pathetically sorry and full of indignation that he hadn't been forgiven yet. A look only one Rodney McKay could pull off.
"Rodney!" I had had as much as I could stand. I turned on him so fast he backed up right into a still silent Teyla. "We have been looking all day for your energy source, and we've found everything but that."
"Sheppard! I said I was sorry. I thought it was close to the gate, and I didn't know those bee-like thingies in that hollow tree were a source of energy until we got there!" He shrugged in that McKay kind of way, "I didn't know they would chase Ronon and bite him."
I turned Ronon toward the gate and motioned to Teyla and Rodney to follow. Taking a deep breath I said, "I know Rodney. Let's just get home." My headache was getting bigger by the minute and we still had a few kilometers left to go. Ronon passed in front of me grumbling and scratching every inch of skin not covered, while McKay and Teyla brought up the rear.
"Sheppard wait up. Do you have anything to eat? After all, I need to eat or my body could go into shock and I could die. Can you imagine the loss that would be for the universe!" he asked coming alongside me and pulling at my arm.
"Ow! Don't grab at my arm!" I yanked it away. Damn that hurt. I think I had a broken bone or two in my hand, but I wasn't going to tell McKay that. We didn't need to stop. We had been on this planet far too long. I wish I had brought the jumper. This walking was getting too damn tiring, and now I was starting to get dizzy.
"Colonel?" For the first time in an hour, Teyla stopped and looked at me, her face full of concern. "What is wrong with your arm?"
For the second time in as many minutes we stopped. "Nothing Teyla, it's just a bruise on my hand from where McKay hit me with that log."
"It was a little stick. I was trying to scare the bugs away from Ronon."
"You hit me twice Rodney. Once in the head and once on my hand." I yelled. My head was about to explode. I purposely lowered my voice partly so I didn't worsen my headache and partly so I didn't act on my impulse to show McKay just what it feels like when someone hits you in the head with a stick. "Let's just go, okay?"
"I didn't hit you that hard Sheppard, and I wouldn't have if you hadn't gotten in the way." He turned with his eyes wide and innocent to Teyla, "He got in the way."
"As you say Rodney." Teyla grabbed Rodney's vest and turned him towards the direction of the gate placating him as she said calmly,"Come, you can have my power bar." She looked over her shoulder rolling her eyes at me as she handed over the bar.
Peeling the wrapper off the bar as he walked he turned to give Teyla a good look. "Oh, how is your eye?"
Teyla gave him a side-glance with her one good eye, "It is fine Rodney. Let us go," and kept walking.
"How do you expect her to feel Rodney? You gave her a black eye! Leave her alone, in fact McKay, leave us all alone." Ronon walked ahead mumbling.
Rodney stopped and waited for me to catch up and grabbed for my lower arm again. I turned, trying to get away from him. "Hey, it's not like I meant for her to get a black eye!" He caught me and turned me around to face him.
The pain caused me to draw in a deep breath. The spin caused my head to whirl and then my stomach decided to empty itself all over McKay's shoes. I stood bent over, my good right hand braced on my thigh, the other arm dangling, "Gah…Rodney will you please stop talking; and for God's sake, quit grabbing my arm or I'm going to let Ronon stun you and leave you here for Lorne to pick up."
"You threw up on me! Sheppard, you threw up on my new shoes. What is it with you three? You'd think you'd had a bad day or something." Rodney left me still leaning over and walked ahead annoyed.
Ronon came back to offer a rag to wipe my mouth and a container of water. "I can do it you know. I can stun him and leave him near that hollow tree. Tell everyone he fainted." He watched me drink a small amount to clean out my mouth, and straighten up. He palmed my good arm and started to walk me the remaining forty or fifty meters to the gate.
I didn't say a word. I was so close to agreeing; I had to just keep walking (weaving actually) towards the gate with Ronon's help. Teyla had reached the gate and had begun to dial the symbols when Rodney turned around looked from one to the other of us and laughed. He just laughed out loud and sputtered, "You three look so funny. You look like three kids that got beat up on the playground." With that, he turned around chuckling and started to walk to the gate.
"Rodney!" I yelled. Making a short run towards him, I knocked him into the shimmering blue of the gate. We rolled out the other side of the wormhole with me on top of Rodney, my one good hand grabbing his vest. Teyla and Ronon appeared seconds later, Ronon with his gun drawn and Teyla with one hand on the big man's chest.
"Somebody better come get McKay." I yelled to no one in particular as I rolled off McKay onto my back on the cool floor of the gateroom.
Over Rodney's squealing voice, I heard Ronon say, "Let me stun him just this once."
"No." Teyla's calm, distinctive voice called out above me. "We cannot harm him. He is a valuable member of our team."
McKay directed his wild-eyed gaze in our direction. "Did you hear that I am a valuable mem—b—e—r ."
This time, Teyla pulled Rodney up gently, by the collar, and looked directly into his face, "Rodney. You. Must. Stop. Talking. Now."
finis