Sweet Dreams

Lee was exhausted. He had just finished up a case that he had been hard at for weeks, a case that he considered very personal, and now that it was over all of the stress and overwork were finally catching up with him. If Lee was honest with himself, he was beyond exhausted. There was nothing more that he wanted to do than rest, but he wasn't done yet. So as it was, he fixed himself a strong cup of coffee as he stood in Amanda's small kitchen, making idle conversation with his wife while she washed a sink of dishes.

"Hey. You know if you drink that coffee, you're not going to be able to get any sleep tonight." Amanda said, concerned, as she looked up from the dish she had been washing and noticed the coffee cup in Lee's hand.

"Yeah. Well, if I don't drink it I'm not gonna be able to stay awake."

"Well, you don't need to stay awake. You need to get some sleep."

"Yeah. Believe me, there's nothing I'd like more right now. But first I have to get through this debriefing. Once I do that, I'll sack out and sleep until Tuesday." Lee said, rubbing at his eyes tiredly. "As it is, Billy only gave us a couple of hours to get cleaned up and changed from the bust this afternoon. Then he wants us back at the Agency so we can get this debriefing over with."

"What time do you have to be back?" Amanda asked, studying her husband carefully.

"I have to be back in a little less than an hour."

"Well, I want you to let me drive you. That way I won't have to worry."

"Are you sure? I mean, I doubt Billy will let you sit in on the debriefing since you weren't involved in the case and I'm not entirely sure how long this is going to take. I don't want you to be bored."

"Oh, I won't be bored. I have some paperwork that I can work on while you're busy. It'll make me feel a lot better knowing that you're not driving. You're so exhausted that if you try to drive to the Agency and back by yourself, there's a good chance that you'd end up falling asleep behind the wheel. Will you please let me drive you?"

"Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'd appreciate a lift. Let's go." Lee smiled. It touched him that Amanda was so concerned for his safety. He knew that she was just being a loving, supportive wife but for some reason tonight it made him love her all the more.

An hour later, Lee was sitting in Billy's office waiting to start the debriefing. He was starting to feel his weariness bearing down on him again so he grabbed his second cup of coffee in less than an hour to hopefully give him enough energy that he would be able to keep himself from dozing off during the meeting.

"Hey, are you okay?" Francine asked, coming to stand beside Lee and resting a hand lightly on his arm.

"Yeah, I'll be okay. I'm just exhausted."

"Well, I hope you didn't drive."

"No, Amanda drove me here. She's upstairs in our office catching up on some paperwork that she's gotten a little behind on. I appreciate the concern, Francine." Lee smiled, looking up as Billy walked into the office and sat down behind his desk.

"Thank you all for coming back in tonight. I realize how tired you are so we'll make this as short as possible, people. Let's get started so we can finish this case out."

True to his word, Billy wrapped up the meeting quickly. Lee thought to himself that it couldn't have concluded a moment too soon because the caffeine buzz he'd had was wearing off and for the last twenty minutes he'd had to fight to keep his eyes from closing. As everyone stood and started to file from the room, Billy fixed Lee with a glance that caused a knot of dread to form in his stomach.

"Can I talk to you for a minute, Scarecrow?" Billy asked, closing the door to his office as Lee sank back down into the chair he had vacated moments before.

"What's the matter, Billy? I'm tired and I want to go home and collapse."

"I know that, Lee. That's why I'm putting you on leave until Monday. You've put yourself through hell to solve this case and I think you could use a long weekend. Also because I know she won't leave you alone in your condition and I know how stubborn you are, I'm going to give Amanda a long weekend as well so she can make sure that you actually get some rest."

"Thanks, Billy. I can't think of much that would sound better than that right now. I'll head upstairs and see if Amanda's finished with the paperwork that she's working on. I'll let her know that we've got a long weekend and then I think we'll probably head out."

"Good. Now go home and get some rest." Billy said as Lee stood again and headed out of the office.

When Lee got upstairs to the office that he shared with Amanda, he stood for a moment watching her behind her desk as she worked on whatever form or report she was finishing. She had yet to notice his arrival and he loved these moments when he could just watch her doing even the simple things. Just then, Amanda looked up from her work and smiled as she saw him there.

"Hi."

"Hey. You about ready?"

"Yep. Sure am. I just finished the last of my backlog. Did everything go all right downstairs?" Amanda asked, crossing the room to her husband and wrapping her arms around him.

"Yeah. Billy made the whole thing as quick and painless as possible. On a more positive note, we've been put on leave until Monday so we have a long weekend to relax."

"That's great. I think that's just what you need. You've been hard at it for too long. So why don't we get out of here and go back to the house."

"Wait a minute. What about your mother and the boys?" Lee asked.

"Well, Mother left this afternoon to visit my aunt in Connecticut for a few days and Joe took the boys white water rafting with his family this weekend so we'll have the whole house all to ourselves. This way I can take care of you and give you my undivided attention."

"I like the way you think. Come on, let's get out of here."

As Lee settled into the passenger seat of Amanda's car and she headed through town, he let the idea of having a long weekend fully register in his tired mind. He found the gentle vibrations of the car soothing and the thought of four uninterrupted days with his wife had his eyes closing again. Lee let his head drop forward to his chest and before he knew it he had fallen into a light doze.

When Amanda pulled her car into the driveway, she turned off the engine and prepared to get out of the car. It was then that she noticed that Lee wasn't making a move to follow and she glanced over to where he was dozing in the passenger seat. Allowing herself a small smile, Amanda reached over and gently shook Lee's shoulder. In that instant, Lee opened his eyes and blinked heavily.

"We're home, sweetheart." Amanda said gently.

"Hmm. I guess I must have dozed off for a few minutes."

"Yeah. Come on. Let's get you inside and I'll fix you something to eat. Then you can get some rest."

When they got inside the house, Amanda led Lee into the kitchen and ushered him onto one of the kitchen chairs as she set to making him something to eat. She knew that he hadn't eaten much more than he'd slept over the past few days so that was why it was important to her to get at least something in his system before she allowed him to collapse into bed.

"Here you go. You need to eat a little something." Amanda said, placing a sandwich and a cup of hot tea in front of Lee and sat down at the table across from him.

"Thanks. I tell you, Amanda, I don't know when I've ever been this tired. I've pulled hard hours on cases before and its never been like this. This case just drained me." Lee admitted, taking a drink of his tea.

"I know. But it's over now. For the next four days the only thing you have to do is to let me take care of you and get you back on your feet again."

"Well, with you looking after me I'll be feeling 100% in no time."

"You bet. Why don't we go to bed and watch some television for a bit. That way you can relax and you'll be a lot more comfortable."

"Yeah. That sounds like a plan." Lee smiled tiredly, pulling himself up and reaching for Amanda's hand.

Once they had made it upstairs to Amanda's bedroom, the bedroom they shared when Lee stayed over with his wife, Amanda made quick work of unmaking the bed while Lee watched, swaying a bit unsteadily on his feet. As they were climbing the stairs, Lee had been leaning heavily on Amanda's shoulder and it was obvious to her now that his mind numbing exhaustion was finally beginning to catch up to him. As Lee began to list forward, Amanda moved to his side and placed her hands on his shoulders to steady him before he tumbled to the floor. Lee started at the contact, shaking his head to wake himself up a little and blinking heavily into Amanda's concerned face.

"I'm okay." Lee said, attempting to reassure his wife.

"No, you're not okay, Lee. You're completely exhausted and you're sleep deprived. Now you just lie down and I'll turn the television on. There should be a late movie or something on that we can watch for a while." Amanda said, helping Lee to sit on the bed and as he settled down she crossed the room to turn on the television in their bedroom. Then she slipped gently into the bed next to her husband and wrapped her arm around him, guiding his head against her shoulder.

"That sounds like a very good idea. But I'm so worn out that I have a feeling that I'll be watching the backs of my eyelids before too long. As it is now, I can barely keep my eyes open."

"I know, love. Honestly, I turned on the television because I thought the background noise might help you to relax." Amanda said quietly as Lee gave a wide yawn, obviously fighting the growing heaviness in his eyelids. "Poor baby. You really are drained aren't you? I didn't realize how much this case took out of you."

"Until now I don't think I did either. I don't need background noise to help me relax, though. Just being able to have this time alone with you is more than enough to relax me." Lee said sleepily, resting his head more heavily against Amanda's shoulder and draping his arm across her chest.

Smiling to herself, Amanda brought her hand up from where she had rested it on Lee's back and stroked his hair lightly. Then she rested her hand behind his head and lightly massaged the slightly tense muscles in the back of his neck. As Lee sighed contentedly and let his eyes close, Amanda became lost in her own thoughts. It had been several months that she and Lee had been married and it still bothered her at times that they weren't able to reveal their marriage to those around them. It meant that she wasn't able to live in the same house as her own husband and many times Amanda found herself frustrated by this. On the opposite side of this was that given the nature of the work that they did with the Agency, not only did their secrecy keep their family safe but it made these small moments, holding Lee in her arms as he slowly drifted off to sleep, all the more precious.

After a few minutes, Amanda snapped out of her thoughts as she felt the sensation of soft breathing on her neck. She turned her head gently and glanced to where her husband rested his head against her shoulder, a warm feeling filling her heart. Lee had given in to his exhaustion and he was sound asleep in her arms. Turning carefully onto her side, Amanda took a moment to watch him as he slept. His eyes were closed and his breathing was slow and even, the worry lines that had creased his brow for the past several days were gone and he seemed very peaceful. In the years that Amanda had known Lee, she had seen many sides of him and she knew that he had a core of steel that gave him the ability to be a very dangerous man when he needed to be, but in this moment as he slept so peacefully, she saw the side of him that she had first fallen in love with. Now, completely unguarded and relaxed, the stress had left Lee's features and he looked so young and innocent, almost vulnerable. Unable to resist, Amanda reached up and gently brushed a stray lock of hair out of Lee's eyes, smiling as he sighed softly and turned his head into her touch.

"Sweet dreams, Scarecrow." Amanda whispered, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead before settling in next to him and falling asleep herself.

Four hours later, as the sky outside the window began to be kissed with the first whispers of dawn light, Amanda was awakened by her husband tossing harshly on the bed next to her. Turning on the lamp beside the bed, she propped herself on her elbow and waited for a moment to see if he would settle. After several minutes, Lee still seemed restless and agitated so Amanda placed her head on the side of his head in an attempt to calm him.

"Shh. It's okay, sweetheart. You're right here with me and everything's fine." Amanda whispered gently. Just then, Lee began moaning in his sleep, a low, grief filled sound that tore at her heart, as he tossed his head on the pillow. It startled Amanda to see Lee so distressed so she reached out and shook his shoulder gently. The contact snapped him to reality and he sat up on the bed so fast that he would have tumbled off of it had Amanda not steadied him.

"Amanda?" Lee asked groggily, turning his glassy eyes to his wife.

"I'm right here, Lee. You were having a nightmare. It must have been a pretty bad one from the way you were tossing."

"Oh, thank God it was just a dream. I'm glad you're okay."

"What are you talking about, Lee? Of course I'm okay. I was asleep when you woke me up thrashing on the bed. What happened in your dream? It might help you calm down if you talk about it." Amanda urged, pulling Lee into her arms and holding him close to keep him grounded.

"I dreamed that I was back on that plane yesterday afternoon. Except that instead of Francine being the one in that crate, it was you that Brody had. In my dream the crate didn't have any holes in it for air and you weren't able to get yourself out even though you were trying. By the time I took Brody down and got the plane stopped, it was too late and you had suffocated. I wasn't able to save you." Lee said, his voice trembling as Amanda held him even tighter.

"Oh my gosh. No wonder you were moaning like someone had hurt you. It's okay. It was a nightmare, Lee. That's all it was, just a nightmare. I'm right here, I'm perfectly fine and so are you. I'm not going anywhere."

"I know. I'm sorry if I scared you, honey, but it just seemed so real. When I woke up, the only thing that convinced me that it hadn't actually happened was when I saw you leaning over me. I know that it's all over and everyone is safe, but it still really shook me up."

"Come here." Amanda whispered softly, pulling Lee into her arms again. He wrapped his arms around her in return and rested his head against her shoulder, letting her presence sink in and allowing her touch to ease the tension the nightmare left. As he started to calm, Lee pulled Amanda close and buried his face in her neck, her warmth easing the tremors that coursed through him. He couldn't bring himself to let her go for a long moment, because his dream had awakened a fear that he kept shoved down in a dark place in his mind for as long as he could remember. Ever since Lee had realized how deeply his feelings were for Amanda, he had harbored a fear that something would happen to her in the field and he wouldn't be able to help her in time. As he continued to hold onto Amanda like a lifeline, he realized that it would destroy him if he ever were to lose her. "Are you okay now?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Why don't you try to go back to sleep for a while."

"I'm not sure if I can. I mean, I'm still so tired but at the same time I'm still shaken. After that dream I had, I honestly don't know if I'd be able to fall back to sleep." Lee admitted honestly, raking a hand through his hair.

"Have you ever tried drinking some warm milk to help you settle down?" Amanda asked, an idea occurring to her then.

"I've heard of it but I've never actually tried it myself. But right now if it'll calm my nerves I'm willing to try just about anything."

"Okay. You just lie here and relax while I go down to the kitchen and fix you some. I'll be right back."

Watching Amanda as she slipped from the bed and left the room quietly, Lee leaned back on the bed and let his gaze fall on the television that had been left on. As he watched the entertainment news that was playing on the cable channel Amanda had tuned to, Lee allowed his mind to wander a bit and soon found his thoughts drifting to various moments in his relationship with his wife from the moment that they had met. In the weeks and months after he had met Amanda at the train station that morning when he had literally dragged her into his dangerous world, he had more often than not found himself annoyed by her presence after Billy had assigned them to work together. He would always keep his distance from her on assignments and not let her get in too close. But Amanda was a force in and of herself and with her warmth and honesty had managed to break down Lee's carefully built defenses without him really knowing it. He couldn't really pinpoint the exact moment that it had happened, but she had over time gone from an irritation that he had to keep an eye on when they were in the field to someone that he counted on as much as he did his own instincts and he stopped looking at her as an inconvenience. With patience and compassion, Amanda had become someone he thought of as not only his partner, but also his friend. He had always looked out for her and protected her, she had also protected him and saved his life more times that he could count, but somehow every time Amanda came to danger or harm when they were in the field, Lee felt like a piece of himself was lost. When Amanda had been kidnapped in his place while keeping an eye on his apartment while he was out of town, he had felt like someone had knocked the wind out of him and it had taken him making the trade for her life, in that moment in the golf cart where he had pulled her into his arms, for him to be able to breathe again. Then when Amanda had been shot while they were in California on their honeymoon, Lee had felt like someone had ripped the heart from his chest and had turned him into a violent man when he had come face to face with the man who had caught her in their crossfire. There had been a few times in the course of their work together that Lee had been genuinely terrified for Amanda's life and each time he swore to himself that he would do whatever it took, including giving his own life if it came to it, to keep her safe because he knew that if he were to ever lose his wife he would never be able to survive it.

"Penny for your thoughts." Amanda said as she walked back into the bedroom and saw Lee staring at the television, apparently lost in thought.

"I was just thinking back on our relationship and some of the things that we've been through. I must have been more wrapped up in my thoughts than I thought because I didn't even hear you come in."

"Everyone gets lost in thought once in a while. Here's your drink, sweetheart."

"Thanks. Hopefully this will calm my nerves so I can settle." Lee said tiredly, taking the glass from Amanda's hands and sipping at it slowly. The heat radiating off of the glass alone was making him begin to relax a bit and as Lee let the warm liquid slide down his throat, letting it warm him from the inside, he could feel some of the tension from his previous nightmare beginning to melt away. As his thoughts started to drift, the thought entered Lee's mind that maybe this was all a dream and as soon as he let himself rest, the dream would end and throw him into a new reality that would be too shattering to face. As his eyes started closing, Lee forced them open again with all the strength that he had, the thought of sleep suddenly causing his pulse to race.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Amanda asked, taking Lee's hand in her own.

"This is going to sound ridiculous but I'm actually afraid to fall asleep again. I just keep thinking that maybe this is a dream and once I fall asleep the dream will end and I'll wake up to find that my nightmare is actually the reality. The thing is, I know that I wouldn't be able to handle that."

"Oh, Lee. I promise you that this is real and I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. That dream you had earlier was just that, a dream. It was a bad nightmare but it's over now. I think the reason that your mind is playing on your fears is because you're so tired. Just go to sleep, love. I promise I'll be right here beside you when you wake up."

"I guess you're right. I'm just still exhausted. I normally don't make a habit of playing into my irrational fears like that." Lee said, settling down in the bed again after he finished his drink and letting himself sink into the mattress.

As soon as Lee had settled in and gotten comfortable, she lay down beside him and pulled him into her arms. Amanda placed a gentle kiss on his forehead in order to reinforce her presence and the fact that she was safe. When Lee turned onto his side and wrapped an arm around her, she rubbed his back gently to relax him, concerned when she felt the tension in his body. With the adrenaline from his earlier awakening waning and his fears alleviated, Lee began to feel his exhaustion bearing down on him again. The slow, methodic movements of Amanda's hand as she softly caressed his back was extremely relaxing and the warm milk he'd had was starting to make him sleepy. He tried to resist the urge to close his eyes because he wanted to enjoy the moment of resting in his wife's arms and the comfort he felt but Lee's body was fighting against him and his eyes soon slid closed, his mind shut down and he sank into a dreamless sleep.

Amanda knew the moment Lee had nodded off. His body completely relaxed under her touch and he had settled his head into the hollow of her shoulder. When she had softly whispered his name he hadn't responded but instead had released a deep, contented sigh. As she glanced down on Lee, Amanda began to realize just how rough the past several days had been on her husband. Even now as he slept she could still see dark circles under his eyes and she was relieved that Lee seemed to finally be getting some quality rest. Settling into a comfortable position, Amanda placed a gentle kiss on Lee's forehead and went back to sleep.

The next morning, Amanda woke to the sun streaming in through the window illuminating the room in a warm glow. Opening her eyes and stretching, she felt a comfortable weight across her chest. Turning onto her side, Amanda allowed herself a soft smile. Lee was still sound asleep and it warmed her heart to see that he seemed to be at peace. The nightmare he'd had the night before had left him so shaken that it had frightened her to see him like that. Propping herself up on her elbow, Amanda leaned down to place a gentle kiss on her husband's forehead. Just then Lee stirred and slowly opened his eyes.

"Good morning, sweetheart. I'm sorry I woke you."

"You didn't. Even though if you had I wouldn't complain. I love the times when I get to wake up to a kiss from you." Lee said with a sleepy smile, raising up to return Amanda's kiss.

"How are you feeling? Any better?" Amanda asked as she lazily played with Lee's hair.

"Yeah. I'm not quite as tired anymore. I really needed to get a good night's sleep. I know one thing, it feels damn good to have some time off to just relax with you."

"Well after being wound up for so long I'm glad you were able to relax at all." Amanda said, giving Lee a peck on the nose. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, I am actually."

"Okay. Why don't we go downstairs and I'll fix some breakfast for us. Then we can find something to watch on television and just have a relaxing day."

"That, honey, is the best idea I've heard in a very long time." Lee said, climbing from the bed and following Amanda downstairs.

After they had finished breakfast and cleaned up the mess in the kitchen, Lee and Amanda were sitting on the couch in the living room looking for something to watch on television. Once they decided on an old movie that was on, they settled in to enjoy the afternoon. Amanda nestled herself into the corner of the couch and let Lee lean against her. He rested his head against her shoulder and sighed contentedly.

"This is the perfect way to spend the afternoon. I can't think of anything better."

After about an hour, Lee was beginning to feel tired again. It seemed that once he had began catching up on the sleep he had lost, his body begged for more. Amanda noticed that he was beginning to fade, his head dropping to her chest, though he was giving a valiant effort to fight it. She shook her head and kissed her husband gently.

"Lee, why don't you lie down?"

"I'm okay, honey."

"Sweetheart, you're falling asleep. Why not just lie down and rest here on the couch." Amanda urged, smiling when Lee pulled his feet up and relaxed into her, resting his head on a throw pillow that she placed on her legs.

"You're right, this does feel better." Lee said quietly, adjusting himself into a comfortable position. Once he had settled, Amanda brought her hand up and ran her fingers through his hair, lightly scratching his head as she combed his hair with her fingers. Lee found the contact very soothing and he allowed himself to close his eyes in contentment. It never ceased to surprise him how quickly and easily Amanda could relax him. He opened his eyes then, took Amanda's free hand in his own and held it close to his chest while her other hand continued to run through his hair. He closed his eyes again, let his head settle into the pillow and slid into a light sleep.

"I love you, sweetheart. I wish you would let me help you on these hard cases." Amanda thought to herself, turning her attention back to the television screen.

About an hour later, the telephone began ringing, startling Amanda out of her thoughts. Carefully pulling her hand out of Lee's limp grasp, Amanda reached behind her and picked up the phone that was on the table.

"Hello."

"Good morning, Amanda. I'm sorry to bother you at home on your day off but I was wondering if you had heard from Lee? I tried to call him to check on him and I didn't get an answer at his apartment." Billy said, a hint of concern in his voice.

"Yes, sir. I have seen Lee. He's right here with me. I brought him home with me last night so I could get him something to eat and I didn't want to let him try to head home as tired as he was so he stayed here last night."

"How's he doing?"

"Actually he's sleeping now. We were watching a movie on television and he fell asleep."

"Good. That's what he needs right now. He put himself through hell to solve this case, Amanda. Keep an eye on him and get him back on his feet."

"Yes, sir. That's the plan." Amanda said softly, keeping her voice low to keep from waking Lee.

"Good to hear. Enjoy your weekend, Amanda." Billy said, hanging up the phone with a smile on his face. He knew that with Amanda around, Lee would be back on his feet in no time.

It was a good bit into the afternoon when Lee finally stirred. He opened his eyes and sat up slowly, leaning over to give Amanda a gentle kiss.

"Hey." Lee said sleepily.

"Hey, yourself. Did you have a good nap?"

"Yeah. I didn't actually plan on taking a nap there. How long did I sleep?"

"You were asleep for about 3 hours. You obviously needed the rest. This case took a lot out of you and you need to recover." Amanda said, a distracted look in her eyes.

"Hey." Lee whispered, lifting Amanda's chin so that she was looking into his eyes. "What's the matter, honey?"

"I've just been worried about you, that's all. You need to take better care of yourself when you work on these long cases. I know you take a personal interest in some of the things that we work on but you also need to take your health into consideration."

"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't realize what I was doing to myself until after the case was wrapped up and I was so tired that I couldn't hold my eyes open. I shouldn't have run myself that far down."

"Lee, will you promise me something?"

"Anything."

"Promise me that next time you have a hard case like this that you won't shoulder the burden alone and that you'll let me help you. Remember that through the good and the bad, we're partners." Amanda said softly.

"You bet. I promise I'll let you help me from now on. We're partners and will be for life." Lee smiled, pulling Amanda into his arms and wondered what he could have possibly done to get so lucky.