This is my first fanfiction I've ever posted, so please be gentle. I want to thank scotiej and SmileWave for helping me with this story, I really needed it. Especially scotiej because he gave many, many suggestions, advice, and read my story numerous times. So please go check his stories out, they're awesome Shepley fics (he may do others in the future of different things)!And please review if you liked it. Suggestions and constructive criticism are very welcome for I am always learning. Don't know if anyone's gonna read this but I'm happy with the way it came out :) This is probably already long so I'll stop and let you read!

Disclaimer: I do not own Bioware or any of its characters. (but I can still gush over their romance)

It had been a week after the defeat of the Collectors. Shepard was meandering through the crowds wrapped in an Alliance issue jacket with its hood up as to avoid attention.

The Citadel was overcrowded as people were gathering to make way back to their evacuated colonies. Spaceships were leaving and docking, people were brushing pass Shepard, not noticing him as if he was any other civilian. There were mostly humans rushing around at the time. As Shepard walked through the crowd, he finally found what he was looking for. He read the holographic sign posted high above his head:

Tayseri Ward, Apartment Complex

Marine Living Quarters, Rooms 200-330

Shepard was here for two reasons; His court appearance for house arrest due to his involvement in the destruction of a heavily populated Batarian colony. He was forced to make the choice to destroy a relay with an asteroid; on which the Batarian colony was located. He destroyed it since it was the only way to stop the Reapers' early arrival.

His second reason was to find Ashley Williams. Going against every Alliance regulation Shepard and Ashley had been secret lovers shortly before the destruction of the Normandy SR1, which was also the cause of his unexpected death. Only two weeks before he had confessed his love to her and Ashley returned those feelings, but that was two years ago, and a lot more happened since then.

Shepard died and was resurrected by the Lazarus Project. This project was conducted at high confidentiality under the human-survivalist group called Cerberus. Cerberus had spent two years and a fortune to bring back Shepard to investigate the disappearance of human colonies and eventually combat the Reaper threat. During that time he gathered old friends and new to help, all but one.

Ashley had sent a message after their quarrel on Horizon. She told Shepard how she felt about everything; his death, how she dealt with it, and said she couldn't lose Shepard a second time. Ashley's message gave him hope and motivated him to end the Collector threat. The completion of which, brought him here today. He wanted to see where his relationship with Ashley stood. He didn't want to think about what would happen if she wasn't ready for them to have a relationship, even though there was a big chance she wouldn't. Shepard would display a content facade if Ashley wanted to stay friends, but in his heart, he knew he needed more than that.

The sign had directed him to a surprisingly deserted corridor. He pulled his hood down as he started down the hallway. Tall standing windows arched all the way to the top of the ceiling.

Shepard wandered his gaze to the vibrant, illuminated Presidium through the windows. The hallway was about a story tall of an average apartment building. The floor was metal with a slightly different tint of brown than the usual silver or gray. All the doors were on the left side of the windows. It was as if Shepard was on earth. The holographic "sky" was darkened over the whole Citadel to make the illusion of clouds, day, and night. The imitation moonlight started to show through the windows, lighting up the desolate hallway. Shepard walked down the wide passageway toward Ashley's door.

Shepard had acquired Ashley's room number from contacting Admiral Anderson, his close friend in the Alliance. Anderson was glad to give him the information since he always seemed to know there was something special between the two. Shepard looked at his omni-tool for the time. It read: 7:03pm Standard Earth Time.

Shepard got to Ashley's door at the end of the long corridor. It read 326, displayed from a holographic sign on a wide metal door.

He took a deep breath as he eyed the thin 3-D white numbers. He wasn't sure what he was going to say, even after all this time. Hi how are you? What's up? I love you? Wow, I'm an idiot. I always think of the right things to say, to persuade or calm someone; even in the middle of a battle. Oh, but now I'm suddenly tongue tied.

Let's see... Shepard crossed his arms, face in deep concentration. What could go wrong...

"Hey Ashley, it's been a while." Shepard nervously smiles as Ashley glares at him.

"BEEN a while?! You think Shepard! You randomly show up here, without any warning, and just burst right back into-"

I'm going to stop that thought right there... Flashes of Horizon flickered in the back of Shepard's mind. I don't think it'll be that bad. My nervousness is over complicating things. Should I start with just another Hey Ash? Or should I say her full name... I'm just going to knock, I'm sure I'll get my point across one way or another. Shepard shook his head at himself.

He knocked on the metal door. He could feel a light flutter of anxiousness deep in his stomach as he waited for a sound. Moments later he heard the lock click.

This is it.

The door opened to show Ashley in a black tank top and curve fitting jeans. Her hair was tied up in a loose fitting bun, strands of hair were laying on her temples, the rest tucked behind her ear.

Whoa, she looks amazing,Shepard thought.

Ashley's eyes widened in surprise at the sight of Shepard.

"Shepard..." was all she could say.

"Hey Ash," Shepard said with a smile. "I know you weren't expecting me, but I wanted to see you. See how you were doing." 'How you were doing?' Don't make the same mistake on Horizon, stupid.

Ashley lifted her arms in disbelief as her eyes were still widened,"Yeah, I wasn't expecting you at all." Her hands landed on her thighs.

Shepard was calm and kept, but Ashley could tell he was a bit nervous.

What is he doing here. I thought I wouldn't see him again. At least not this soon..

Shepard kept his hands in his pockets as he waited for a second response. Ashley never expected him to even talk to her after she sent that message. Part of her was ecstatic to see him standing in front of her. The other part of her felt otherwise, unsure. She simply moved aside and nodded her head toward the main room, with a slight smile.

"Why don't you come in. I'm sure we have a lot to talk about." She stepped aside to let him through.

He nodded,"Thanks." That could have gone worse.

He walked into a small living room. It was much like a loft studio or efficiency apartment. The ceiling was high, there was a small couch and chair in front of a small holographic TV mounted in the wall. The floor was a hard, tan, carpet. The kitchen was part of the room. There was a small bar with a sink, cabinets on top, a door on the far side of the room. Shepard guessed the bedroom, feeling the slight flutter in his stomach again.

Shepard started to take off his jacket as he looked over the room.

"Here, let me get that." Ashley said as she signaled Shepard to give her his jacket.

"Thanks Ash," Shepard said with a crooked smile.

Ashley threw a smile back and set it on a small book shelf by the door. At the sight of Shepard's toned bicep under his shirt sleeve, Ashley felt her heart flutter and her breath quicken. Determined to keep things strictly professional however, Ashley pushed those feelings back down and took a deep breath.

This is already going to be hard.

She gestured for him to sit down.

Ashley was anticipating what Shepard was going to tell her. He sat on the small couch as Ashley sat in the chair next to him sitting up, crossing her fingers on her lap. Shepard leaned his elbows on his knees, his hands lazily holding together as he observed the room more.

"This is a nice place Ashley," he looked at her,"I assume Admiral Anderson is providing some successful missions for you? I heard you were promoted. Congratulations by the way, I'm so proud of you."Shepard nervously smiled at her.

Ashley took a small breath in,"Thanks. Well, some of my missions are crap but most of them are in the matter of saving hostages and busting various drug tracks. It's mainly mercenaries... It used to be the Collectors. You solved that problem though."

She couldn't help but look at him with a guilt stricken expression. She was starting to wish she would have never told him off on Horizon like she did. Seeing him alive, right in front of her, in her apartment, and them not being together just seemed... wrong in a way. Not natural. That was, unless he had moved on.

He wouldn't. But, he's changed in the past years so... could he have? Please God no. Unless... he's happy.

She was guessing that was what he was here about. It was probably too late to shove him out the door and think their encounter never happened.

Yeah, way too late.

"I had a lot of help," Shepard finally said, the last word piercing Ashley. "I couldn't have done it alone. And you know, getting promoted to Operations Chief isn't easy, especially what you've had to deal with. You've been through thick and thin but made it out." Without me.

Ashley felt pride in Shepard's words and truly appreciated him telling her this. She was flattered. He always knew what to say to her.

"Thank you Shepard, really. That means a lot coming from you," she smiled.

Shepard continued,"Of course. I'm just stating the facts though. And Ash," what am I doing? He leaned closer to her, his knees almost touching hers. Ashley quietly breathed in, not expecting what Shepard was going to do next. He cautiously put his hand on Ashley's.

He gave them a soft squeeze,"I couldn't have finished my mission without your message. I swear I would have gone crazy with worry, no closure, confusion, or just, so many other things. Ash I came here to see where we stood."

Ashley didn't know what to say. She knew that whatever happened, she wasn't ready to be in a relationship, even with Shepard. She was scarred from his death and it showed. She looked into his eyes still surprised.

Why are you doing this to me Shepard? Why now?

"Shepard I- I guess you want to know whether I'm ready. Ready for you? For us?" He simply nodded, she continued,"Well, the truth is, I'm not,"

Shit, I knew I shouldn't have brought it up. Now she's uncomfortable.

"Shepard I wish I was, I really do. But, these two years, your death, and you coming back, it's a lot to take in. Emotionally, I'm not 100 percent there. I want to be all there when I'm ready, you know what I mean?" She watched him intently for his reaction.

Shepard's heart dropped but he curtly nodded and smiled,"I do. If you aren't ready Ash, you aren't ready. I can understand that," he chuckled,"I almost expected you to not even let me in." Ashley laughed uneasily.

"If you aren't ready, I'm willing to wait. However long you need." Shepard said in a serious tone. He meant what he said and Ashley knew it.

"Shepard...," Ashley said indecisively.

"Ash I know how it sounds but I'm being honest here. In the end, when everything comes down, I don't want to fight this battle alone."

"You're never alone Shepard, you know that," Ashley said in a sympathetic, reassuring tone.

"You know what I mean Ash. I need someone by my side. I need a base, a foundation. That's you. Something closer than a friendship. That person can only be you. You keep me grounded. You're the person I can go to vent, share my thoughts with. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings if I need to tell you something you need to know. And no matter how long it takes, I'm going to wait for you."

Ashley sighed,"You're sure Shepard? I'm not questioning you because I don't want you. It's just that what I went through in the past two years, in the end, it was completely worth it. We had something more than a simple crush or, should I even say it, a one night stand," she rolled her eyes with a smile and settled on his,"We had love." had, not have, I wish I could say have.

Shepard interjected,"To be honest Ash, I still do. Just as much as before." Ashley silently drew in a sharp breath knowing she felt the same. She hated not being able to embrace him. At least not yet. She noticed both of them had unconsciously leaned closer to each other.

As they were looking at each other, intensiveness started to build.

Part of her wanted to kiss him, the other part wanted to send Shepard on his way out the door. In the two years she was alone and mourning, there were so many nights she yearned for Shepard. Just for him to be there, sleeping next to her, holding her. She would have given anything for it and now he was sitting right in front of her, fully and emotionally exposed. She knew if she made a move, he wouldn't stop her. She was betting he was thinking the same thing. He'd be right too, she wouldn't stop him.

Should I be doing this? Ashley thought. He's right here in front of me, what I've wanted all along.

As that last thought filtered through her mind, she suddenly felt his lips, barely noticing the swift move he made toward her. Shepard pressed lightly, cautiously. He felt like a monster.

Okay I really shouldn't be doing this... but I want it so bad, he thought.

Ashley had said she wasn't ready. He was waiting, almost hoping she would push, slap, or yell at him. She didn't. Ashley leaned in harder, unable to resist the temptation.

Screw it. I love this man.

Their lips synchronized with each other. Ashley swiftly got up and climbed on Shepard's lap. She pushed his chest to the back of the sofa. They kissed each other harder.

Everything was escalating, and fast. Ashley knew where this was going but didn't want it to stop. The feeling of being wanted by Shepard wouldn't let her. She thought about the consequences for both of them since she knew she wasn't ready for their relationship.

Damn the consequences.

That's right Ashley, damn 'em! Please review and advise (if you want) for there will be moar...

p.s. If there are any mistakes, please PM me and I will edit, thanks!