Rules for 'certain' companions
I will not drop you off at a TGI Fridays no matter what the occasion or date is.
You will not play any kind of drums around the master. Not only is it not funny but also cruel and unusual torture for me.
Jokes about the cutting of certain body parts and their relation to my marriage to River Song weren't funny the first time.
I will not fix the TARDIS chameleon circuit so it will look like a yellow submarine no matter how awesome that song is.
You are ABSOLUTLEY FORBIDDEN to do the following if you ever meet my future selves:
Convince my third persona that Chuck Norris could defeat him in battle, he will attempt it.
Try to dress as my Sixth persona, not only will it offend everyone except him, he will try to convince you to wear it often.
Tell my seventh persona he should play in a band with my second persona. Our ears will be damaged for life.
Ask all of us who is better at driving the TARDIS, there will be bloodshed.
Get us all to play scrabble. We will cheat with Raxa...Raxacalla...colla... The slitheen's home planet. And once again there will be bloodshed.
Try to play Cricket with my fifth persona...he'll kick your ass and you know it.
Try to pair any of us together. Just... eewwwwww...
When my fourth persona offers you jelly babies. Take them.
Pointing out that the sign says pull to open doesn't mean I will.
Davros doesn't appreciate being asked about his 'freakish' blue eye or his wheelchair.
You will not ask me what else I have 2 of.
Saying that the master's weapons or my Sonic Screwdriver are compensating for something is not funny.
Daring Jack to break into a Unit/Torchwood base naked is only funny the first time.
Do not try to pull of the brainy specs. It will not work.
Or the scarf.
Or the bowtie.
Asking the cyber what the handles on their heads are for is not a smart move.
Trying to convince a newly regenerated me that he is a girl is just cruel.
Betting with other companions/Unit soldiers that I am in a relationship with the Master or Jack is now on banned. I have super hearing so don't think you can do it in secret.
The Quantum Stabilizer is not a pinball machine no matter how much it looks like one. And No you cannot play with it.
Do not ask me to explain Spacey Wacey, Timey Wimey or stuff. Stuff is stuff, Spacey Wacey is Spacey Wacey and if I tried to explain Timey Wimey your head will hurt.
You will not send a defenceless Dalek to speech therapy
Or tell Davros he has throat cancer
You are not to tell the Weeping Angels to get over their issues.
I will not fill out a census form so you can find out my real name.
You will not tell present day scientists that there is water on Mars.
The Sonic screwdriver is a screwdriver, you are not to make up sexual innuendos about said screwdriver, and no you can't have one.
I will not dye my hair ginger if I'm so 'desperate'. I want natural ginge, not bottled.
The sontaran's battle cry is no laughing matter... Okay maybe a little bit.
Do not tell the Silurians about global warming. They're pissed off enough as it is.
Running up stairs won't stop the daleks anymore. Don't try it.
Torchwood three is not in the sewers. The smell is all in your imagination
Do not attempt to drink anti plastic even if you are convinced you are an Auton.