A/N: Sorry Guys, seriously no clue why did that with formatting but it should be fixed now.
"She doesn't mean it." Bellamy turned toward the voice, finding Lincoln a few feet away, a thoughtful expression on his face.
"What?'"
"I know what you're thinking, about what Clarke said. She cares about you." Bellamy fought the urge to scoff at Lincoln's words, Clarke had all but called him disposable. He was used to that, maybe not from her, but he was used to that. It had hurt, more accurately, it had gutted him. But she was right. It was worth the risk.
"Uh, yeah." He muttered. Him and Lincoln had never really gotten along, at first because of the torture, and lately because Bellamy had never asked but strongly suspected Lincoln was way too old to be dating his sister. Either way, he didn't much feel like having this conversation with him. He sighed. "Well, she's right. I have to go to Mount Weather, we don't have another option." Lincoln frowned.
"You don't know Lexa. She wasn't always as cold as she seems. She lost a lover, it changed her. Loss…. it does that. If I know her at all she'll have told Clarke that love is weakness, that the only way to protect her people is to distance herself from them."
Bellamy thought back to earlier, Clarke's words ringing in his head
I was being weak.
Was Lincoln saying-
"She loves you." Lincoln flashed him a grim smile. "I've known women like her before. I know what it looks like. She'll tell herself she doesn't, she'll push you away. She doesn't know how to go on now, so she'll try to become someone else. It won't work. She's going to come back to you, Bellamy." Bellamy stared at him, trying to process what he was hearing, to reconcile it with everything else that had happened.
"You're wrong." He mumbled. Lincoln raised an eyebrow. "She doesn't love me, she just, she cares about people, about everyone. We're partners, she needs me."
"You are, and she does." Lincoln said, the smile gone, replaced with a much more serious expression. "But not in the way you think." He turned to leave, then swiveled back to face Bellamy. "Don't die in Mount Weather. Whatever she thinks, she's not like Lexa. She'll live without Collins, with her guilt. She won't make it without you." Nodding in farewell, he left Bellamy standing slightly dazed next to the fire.
I was being weak. Surely she hadn't been saying she loved him… but what else would that mean? Confused, but heartened, Bellamy retreated to his blanket next to Clarke. Her eyes were closed, though he doubted she was sleeping. He had ghosts too, hundreds of them, and they were always the loudest at night. As he settled in, she rolled over, eyes open and alert. He sighed.
"You should try to get some sleep." He said, knowing it was useless. She shook her head.
"I can't. I keep thinking-" About Finn. "About you. Going into Mount Weather, getting caught, getting stuck in one of those cages." Hiding his surprise, Bellamy lay down on his side, facing her.
"I'll be okay. I can do it." She nodded, eyes flicking up like they always did when she was trying not to cry.
"I know."
"This is what makes us strong." He hadn't meant to say it, had been trying to ignore what Lincoln had said.
"What?"
"What we have, this-this thing. You and me. How we are together, as a team. That's our strength. You make me better. I-well I'm not actually sure you need me, but I'm all you've got. It works." We work, he thought. I need you, please don't push me away. Clarke looked at him, really really looked at him. Seconds passed, and it was as though she was considering, like maybe she had been thinking the same thing, maybe she had just been afraid it wasn't enough, maybe she just needed someone to tell her what she already knew. Something like relief spread over her features, a weary kind of acceptance that put a little of the softness back in her face. She looked a little like herself again.
"Okay." She finally murmured, rolling onto her back and closing her her eyes. Bellamy mirrored her, wondering if either of them would actually sleep at all. A few moments passed, and he was wondering if she actually had fallen asleep. Then she spoke.
"You make me strong. If nothing else, you keep me sane. I do need you." He opened an eye, glanced over at her, but she hadn't moved. Her eyes were still closed, no indication that she was speaking to him other than the movement of her lips. "It's worth the risk, for them. I never said it was worth it for me."