A/N: Okay so as I have said I'm rewriting most of my stories. I was writing this while I had a sinus infection and I'm posting it after I found out I'm allergic to the medication my doctor had me on so I'm splotchy! lol anyway I hope this is better. I also hope how this uploads is alright because I got a new operating system and fanfiction doesn't except the text document style this operating system has. Well enjoy as much as you can.
The sugar mill was quite besides the sound of heavy breathing and witch sobs. The sugar mill was almost completely empty of common infected and there was only the occasional hunter shriek. The four survivors had varying levels of emotion distress. It was never this quiet besides right before a storm.
Nick was almost enjoying the silence. It was a nice change of pace from the near constant train of zombie screaming, Keith stories, and gunfire. For Ellis on the other hand it was a cruel form of torture. He really wanted to say something, anything. He'd try proposing to a witch if it meant he could say something. Of course Nick would yell at him if he said something.
Rochelle was probably the least tense of them all. That was until she caught a whiff of lavender shampoo. Who had time to wash their hair in this zombie apocalypse? She could really use a shower. So could the three men she was traveling with. The strong smell of manly body odor and rotting flesh was horrible. Rochelle slowed her pace to try and stay away from her three very smelly companions.
As she was slowly walking she spotted a magazine. It caught her eyes because of how clean and bright it was. Most of the papers were by now washed out and stained. This one looked new. The date on it was even that exact day. Rochelle picked it up.
The cover was a noxious pink and had a chibi witch leaning forward and doing a peace sign with one hand and the other on her hip. The big, fancy lettering on the front read 'Otaku Witch Shipping Club September issue'.
Rochelle curiously opened it up. Inside was a couple articles about different people. There was one about another group of survivors and even one about a hunter and smoker duo. There was a little poll score. It said it was a poll for 'favorite ship of the month'. On the top read 'Nick/Ellis' and Rochelle raised an eyebrow. Down the line she looked even more confused as she read her name with someone named Francis.
"Whatcha looking at?" Ellis asks.
"Some kind of magazine." Rochelle says.
"Nick/Ellis? What's a ship?" Ellis asks.
"I think a ship is another word for a fan made couple from a show or book." Nick yells from across the room.
The three other survivors stare at Nick. He looks back at them and sighs.
"My occupation made me learn a few very odd things." Nick says.
Ellis shrugs it off and turns the page of the magazine. Ellis shrieks and falls backwards his shotgun tumbling to the ground. Rochelle just laughs and puts down the magazine to help Ellis up. Coach shakes his head and walks away from the magazine.
Nick walks over and looks at the magazine. On the page was a picture of a male witch being pinned to a wall by some crazy looking infected that had managed unbuckle the sleeves of its straight jacket. The witch's already sparing clothing was being pulled down by the other infected. Nick quickly shut the magazine and threw it across the room.
"Where the hell did you find that Rochelle?"
"I found it on the ground and I am damn happy I did. That was the most amusing this that has happened all day." Rochelle says still chuckling.
"Why did Ellis ask what a ship was?" Nick asks slowly.
"Because Nick/Ellis was voted most popular ship of the month." Rochelle says slowly smiling.
Nick's face drained of all color. He then started walking to a nearby closet shutting the door and then there was the soft thumping noise of a head meeting a wall. Rochelle was clutching her stomach laughing again. Ellis was just staring at the magazine with untrusting eyes.
Rochelle's final chuckles died out and she noticed how quite it was. Even the witches weren't crying anymore. It was completely silent even Nick's head thumping had stopped. Rochelle took a step out of the building they had been in. She heard the crushing of thin plastic and glass.
There was a soft gasp then growling. There was the beginging of an angry screech. Rochelle fell backwards staring at a witch. The witches screech turned into an odd 'kyaa'ing sound as she turned and noticed Ellis.
"Oh my GOSH! You are like Ellis! I love you! You are just soooo totally cute!" The witch says making the 'kyaa' sound again.
She hugs Ellis clutching his head to her chest. She giggles something about 'boobs hug!' and let's go she pulls an exact copy of the magazine Nick had thrown and a pink gel pen out of somewhere.
"Will you like sign my magazine?" The witch asks.
Ellis cautiously takes the gel pen and magazine and signs the inside cover. The witch squeals and hugs the pen and magazine. She jumps up and down excitedly.
"Who makes this magazine?" Rochelle asks.
"Karma witch. Well the WFY, Witches For Yaoi." The witch says tucking one strand of hair behind her ear, "Their base is like totally just fifteen minutes away if you walk like totaaally slow."
There was an awkward silence and the witch looks like she's trying to remember something. The she snaps her fingers and smiles happily.
"Aren't you like supposed to be in next months issue?" The witch asks.
"What?" Ellis asks.
"You got voted favorite ship of the month. The previous months favorite ship always gets a photo shoot put into the current months issue." The witch says.
"So wait some crazy witch organization is going to come kidnap Ellis and Nick and make them pose together in gay pictures?" Rochelle asks.
"Like totally!" The witch says smiling.
Rochelle cracks up again and Ellis looks like his brain broke. Rochelle then smells the lavender shampoo again. She sniffs and follows the scent to it's source. It was the valley girl accented witch.
"Where did you get lavender shampoo?" Rochelle asks.
"The WFY base like has showers everyone can totally use." The witch says, "You should like follow me. They'd be more than happy to like have you all spend some time with them."
"We'd love to." Rochelle says before Ellis could even lift his head.
"Hell no!" Nick screams bursting from the closet.
"I'll like take the one in the suit if you like take the one in the overalls." The valley-girl witch says.
"Deal." Rochelle says nodding.
The smell of lavender shampoo was too great a temptation. Rochelle was more than okay with making Nick and Ellis fake being gay so she could take a nice, long shower. Heck she'd even do it so just the guys would take a shower. Traveling with a little more fresh air would be wonderful.
Rochelle easily grabs Ellis and hauls him up. By then the valley-girl witch had already grappled Nick and had the gambler slung over her frail looking shoulder. Rochelle high fives the witch. They were pretty cool when they were on her side.
Coach came along grumbling. Rochelle was talking about feminine things with the witch. The usual stuff like how to get the stench of infected blood out of clothing, cleaning mud off of leather, and proper nail or claw care. Nick had to be knocked out half way through the walk and Ellis was still incredibly shell shocked.
When they finally reached the building Rochelle was slightly surprised. The door they were entering in was for a very nice old plantation house. It looked like it hadn't been affected by the infection at all.
"Wow this is a very nice house." Rochelle says.
"The basement is like the best part." Valley-girl witch says, "Well broski you should like wake up."
The witch drops Nick on the cement walkway. Nick curses rubbing his head. He reached for his hip to draw his hand gun out to shoot the witch. The witch smirks and holds up his hand gun.
"Come on let's just go inside." Coach says, "I know Ro' wants a shower."
The inside was even grander than the outside. All the wood was an ancient looking mahogany or oak. The chandlers shimmered and glowed. Inside their were different witches, smokers, boomers, spitters, jockeys, hunters, and even tanks mostly female wandering around. A few whispered when they noticed Nick and Ellis.
"Come on like Karma Witch's office is just down this hallway." Valley-girl witch says.
She opens a door and inside was completely clean and sterile room. Every book was meticulously placed and labeled by the dewy decimal system. A plant stood in one corner next to the window, which upon closer inspection was actually just painted on.
"Good evening Trixie what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" The clean cut witch at the perfectly organized desk in the room asks.
The witch was incredibly neat. Her hair was cut in a bob at her chin and her bangs ended at her eyebrows and not a hair was out of place. Her pinstripe black pantsuit was wrinkle free and unstained. Even her claws were filled and painted with a clear coat. She even had a light coat of make up on.
"You're name's Trixie?" Ellis asks.
"Yeah, what did you like think my name was like valley-girl witch?" Trixie asks.
"Well, um, yeah." Ellis mumbles.
Trixie bursts out laughing. She clutches her stomach and holds onto the desk to steady herself. The clean cut witch sighs irritatedly. Apparently she had to deal with the valley girl witch quite a bit.
"That's like totally funny but anyway I like totaaalllly need to see K.W. right now Niki." Trixie says.
"Go in she's just being an idiot with Karma Hunter." Niki says.
Trixie opens the door to the next room. Inside was the oddest dressed witch the group of survivors had ever seen. She had pink and teal extensions in her hair in random places. Her clothes consisted of a slightly poofed hot pink skirt with black lace and a black shirt with pink poofed short sleeves and pink lace. She even had fingerless gloves and stockings to match. Her shoes were black mary-janes. She was humming along to what Rochelle could guiltily tell was the Nyan cat song.
A/N: So is it okay? Well I don't have much else to say. I wish I had a working copy of Left 4 Dead 2 again? So review if you'd like and have a nice day.