Author's Notes: Important! In this fic Voldemort never came back on Harry's fourth year. Dunno yet if he'll show up later on. This will be a two shot, and hopefully I will be able to finish and post the second part soon. This fic was mostly written (well, really finished) for old times sake. H/D was the first pairing I ever shipped. I'd need to have this betaed, but I'm not too sure how that works. ...I'm such a n00b... Heh.

Harry's thoughts

Letter

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. J. K. Rowling does.

Warnings: Slash (male/male relationship) of the H/D kind and some OOC-ness.

Gryffindor Idiocy

"Don't look Harry, but Malfoy's staring at you again", Ron whispered.

"What? Again?" Harry answered. This was the seventh time they had caught Draco Malfoy staring at Harry during breakfast.

"I think he's up to something", Ron muttered ominously through his sandwich, "And I'm sure that we aren't going to like it."

Harry nodded thoughtfully. He had been worried about Malfoy's behaviour since their fourth year at Hogwarts had started. While it would have been quite normal for Malfoy to scowl at them once in a while, these stares lacked the usual animosity.

Malfoy had also started avoiding encounters with Harry, Hermione and Ron (a thing he usually sought for), and when one of those encounters happened, it usually ended with violent results.

While Harry couldn't really think of a plan that would involve staring at him, he knew that it wasn't wise to underestimate Malfoy's sneakiness.

Harry glanced at the Slytherin table briefly, so as not to be noticed looking. Malfoy was looking down at his plate, clearly irritated.

"Yes, something odd is definitely going on",thought Harry.

xXxXxXxXx

After that seventh time, Malfoy stopped staring completely. He no longer even glanced to Harry's direction. Almost a month went without any contact between the two of them. Still, Harry couldn't help but notice that Malfoy had become more silent and secluded. Harry had been quite shocked when his friends had complained about the very same things. Expect it hadn't been Malfoy they'd been talking of; they were talking about Harry. Had he really been thinking about Malfoy that much?

Harry still didn't stop thinking about Malfoy. He found his reclusion intriguing, for he was never really alone, but still very lonely. Not that just anyone could have noticed, it took years worth of observing to see even for a bit through Malfoy's arrogant pureblood facade.

Harry started wandering through the empty corridors and classrooms under his Invisibility Cloak at night. He found it relaxing to have time alone for his thoughts away from his friends overly worried questions.

One night he came across to a very memorable sight. He saw Malfoy in an unused classroom, sitting on a windowsill. The moonlight that framed him made him look ethereal, and the sad look on his face made him seem somehow frail. Harry couldn't help but find him gorgeous.

Harry stood there, mesmerized, for a long while. When Malfoy shifted a little, he snapped out of it. Harry left quickly, feeling quite disturbed.

"Malfoy? Gorgeous? No, no, no… He's pointy and… Stuff. I mean he's Malfoy for Merlin's sake!"

Harry returned to his dorm, but couldn't sleep for a long time because his head was too full of thoughts.

xXxXxXxXx

Over the next weeks Harry tried to stop thinking about Malfoy by spending more time with Ron and Hermione. They seemed overly glad with his company, as if Harry had been away, he had noted with a guilty twinge.

Just as he had become rather proud of his progress, he heard a conversation between his two best friends that made him freeze to where he stood. It was already quite late and Harry had been going to one of his night time walks.

"If Harry keeps staring at Malfoy I'm seriously going to believe that he has a crush on him. I mean honestly! He didn't stare even Justin this much when he had a crush on him at the start of the year", said Hermione, feeling confident about speaking so openly because of the seemingly empty Common Room.

"Harry had a crush on Justin?! When did this happen?" Ron spluttered. It took him a while to get over the fact that his best friend was gay and hadn't told him.

"And even if he is gay he can't be having a crush on Malfoy. He's pointy and… Stuff!"

As Harry listened to Ron exclaiming his disbelief rather loudly, he felt started feeling increasingly alarmed. "I can't be having a crush on Malfoy! …Can I?"

Harry tuned back into the conversation, desperate to hear more and somehow not guilty at all about eavesdropping.

"Didn't you know that Harry's gay? I noticed ages ago! I mean, isn't it quite obvious?" asked Hermione.

"No!" was Ron's answer.

"Oh… Well surely you have noticed how his never been interested in girls? And how he acted even more shy than usual around Justin?" said Hermione.

"Now that you mention it… Yeah, I suppose he was", Ron admitted, "But that doesn't mean that he has a crush on Malfoy."

At this point Harry fled the room, not wanting to hear any more of their conversation.

xXxXxXxXx

Years went by, and before Harry and his friends knew, they were on their sixth year at Hogwarts. Ron and Hermione had became Prefects in their fifth year and gotten together after one of their night patrols (Ron had apparently finally kissed Hermione), and had been a couple since.

Harry was very happy for them, but couldn't help himself from feeling a bit jealous. His brief relationship with Justin at the end of fifth year had just simply dried up, and he hadn't had a boyfriend since. There was also the matter of a certain silver-eyed blond. The conversation he had overheard in forth year was still haunting him. Well, the conversation and the memory of seeing said blond sitting on a windowsill. Oh, and let's forget the moonlight. And finding him beautiful.

Harry had finally admitted his crush on Draco when after a physical fight with him in fifth year he had noticed that he was in the need of a shower. A very cold shower. The memory of it still made him blush.

Sometime after he had admitted the truth to himself, he noticed that Malfoy had somehow changed into Draco in his head.

It wasn't until after the Christmas holidays that Harry did take action. He was on one of his usual night time wanderings, when he came across to a sight that gave him a strong sense of déjà vu. It was Draco, sitting on the same windowsill as over two years ago, looking even more beautiful then the last time.

He had a strong urge to kiss Draco, and Harry, being the brave (more like brash) Gryffindor that he was, did exactly that. He dropped his Invisibility Cloak to the ground and strode to where Draco sat.

The kiss lasted for quite a while, and Harry couldn't honestly say whether it was Draco or him that was more surprised when Draco kissed back. After for almost half a minute Draco suddenly broke the kiss.

"No…I, I can't", he stuttered and fled the room, looking quite disturbed.

"Well that was odd", thought Harry, his mind still quite dazed from the kiss. It took a while for the gravity of the situation to hit him. "Oh hell! I kissed him!" he exclaimed.

Harry was attracted to Draco, yes, but that didn't mean that he couldn't see what a jerk he was. For even though Draco was still quite quiet and reclusive, his pure jerkishness (there was no other word for it) was undeniable. "…I need help…"

xXxXxXxXx

On the next morning Harry cornered Hermione in a secluded hallway. "Hermione… I did something really stupid", he confessed, sounding quite crestfallen.

"What is it Harry?" she asked, brow crinkling and brown eyes glittering with worry.

"I…I…" words failed Harry. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "Am I a Gryffindor or not?" he thought, ignoring the little voice in the back of his head that said: "It's your Gryffindor idiocy what got you in this mess in the first place…"

"I kissed Dra- Malfoy", he finally stuttered, looking away.

A myriad of emotions flashed through Hermione's eyes, there was shock, acceptance, and even a bit of smugness. "Oh, Harry… I don't know what to say… Perhaps if you'd explain the whole thing for me?"

And so Harry explained to her everything from the overheard conversation to yesterday.

"Oh my… And then he just left? How rude…" Hermione stated.

"Yeah, yeah, but what am I gonna do now?" Harry asked, sounding a bit desperate.

"Harry, I don't think you should do anything. If he approaches you, then perhaps… But you really shouldn't get involved with him in any way. Malfoy is bad news", she answered, frowning.

Harry nodded mutely.

xXxXxXxXx

Draco never did approach him, in fact, he avoided Harry like plague. In a way, Harry was very relieved, but he couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment. He also couldn't make himself forget about the feel of Draco's lips against his own. It also didn't help that looking back; he couldn't help but find Draco's behaviour odd. Why was he in the abandoned classroom in the first place? Why did he respond to the kiss? And why did he say what he did? Why did he say that "he can't" instead of…Well, anything else. All these questions made Harry's head hurt.

And the thing was, there was no-one he could share these thoughts with. He didn't dare approach Hermione again after her having such a negative reaction to Draco. The only other choices were Ron and Sirius (who was still on the run), and the mere thought of telling either of them that he had kissed the Slytherin made Harry shudder.

This terrible state of confusion had been going on for over two weeks, and it was getting hard for Harry to keep up the appearance of everything being just peachy. "If this goes on for much longer I swear I'm going to go crazy."

His musings were cut as he heard near silent ranting coming from Myrtle's bathroom. "When did I get here?" Harry thought. No-one ever came near this particular bathroom, since it was usually flooded with water. "I really need to stop wandering around like this… Oh well, time to leave, don't want Hermione getting worried."

He started walking away from the bathroom when he suddenly realised that the voice ranting did not sound terribly feminine. "If that's Myrtle then I'm Snape." Curiosity got the better of him and Harry headed towards the door as quietly as he could and pressed his ear against it. After a bit of concentrating the muffled words started making sense.

"-such an idiot! Stupid Potter doing such a thing… What was he thinking?! Oh wait; he's a Gryffindor, being a complete fool comes with the job description!" Harry's eyes went impossibly round and wide, it was Draco! On the background Myrtle could be heard making vague sympathetic noises.

Draco's voice became quieter and Harry had to move his ear to the keyhole. "If someone found out about it I'd be so screwed… If Father gets into his head that I'm nothing but straight, well, I don't even want to know what he'll do. As true as it is… I'm the Malfoy heir; I need to get married with some snobby pureblood bitch to produce a new heir. It doesn't matter what I think, and…even though I'd rather be with Harry-", Draco's monologue ended to a loud bang coming from the door – Harry had hit his head on the handle.

Draco ran to the door, fully prepared to threaten the person on the other side to submission if they had heard anything. He slammed the door open and sent a frozen Harry flying. The still-frozen Harry stared at him with a deer-in-the-headlights look, lying on his back on the floor. Draco himself also froze, his eyes going wide and his mouth forming an "o". That only lasted for a few seconds before his face settled to a horribly pissed off look. Poor Harry was still frozen on the floor.

"What did you hear? I swear if you tell anyone anything, I'm going to hex you in to next week!" Draco threatened. On the background Myrtle could be seen staring at them curiously.

"But…" Harry tried saying.

"Shut up. You won't tell anyone anything, am I understood?" Draco was by now looking beyond pissed. Harry couldn't help but nod.

Draco narrowed his eyes. "Good", he said imperiously and stalked away.

Harry blinked dazedly. "Damn. He's hot when he's angry."

xXxXxXxXx

True to his word (well, technically speaking nod) Harry didn't tell a soul of what happened. He found himself daydreaming and staring into space even more than before, and because of that, his grades were slipping. Harry could see that Draco wasn't doing that good either. While Draco's grades were not slipping, it was becoming painfully obvious to any random bystander that he was incredibly stressed.

Harry also knew that Hermione was becoming beyond suspicious. She had actually tried to confront Harry several times, but so far he had managed to avoid her attempts. Though how long his luck was going to last… He didn't want to think about it.

Even Professor McGonagall had gotten worried, in her own strict way. She had questioned Harry about his dropping grades. Harry had assured that he just hadn't slept well lately.

For fifteen days Harry and Draco avoided so much as looking at the other – at least when the other could see.

The sixteenth day found Harry walking away from Potions class unaccompanied (Hermione and Ron had disappeared to have a little "alone time"). He took his time, not really even watching where he was going. Suddenly he was pushed against the cold and clammy wall by a pair of fairly strong arms. The next thing he knew someone's lips were pressed firmly against his. Before he could even think about reacting, they were gone.

"Idiot Potter", muttered the assaulter, already leaving. Harry stared at his retreating back, mouth wide open. Blond hair glimmered in the dim torchlight.

"Wait!" Harry yelled, but Draco would not. Harry started after him but Draco lost him effortlessly, he had the advantage in the dungeons, after all.

"I don't understand anything anymore…"

xXxXxXxXx

The next morning Harry received a letter while eating breakfast in the Great Hall. It came on a school owl and on top of it was written "Read this when you are alone". So Harry hastily stuffed the letter into his pocket and glanced towards Ron and Hermione. Thankfully neither of them had noticed anything; they were a bit too absorbed into quarrelling with each other to do so.

Harry stood up and made an excuse of going to the toilet. "Well it's not technically an excuse…" he thought while locking himself into a cubicle. Then he opened the letter, anxious to know what it said.

Potter,

We need to talk. Meet me in the trophy room tonight at midnight. Burn this letter after reading it, and make sure that it can't be reconstructed.

M

"Incendio!" Harry cast, and the letter burned merrily. After that Harry flushed the ashes down the toilet. Then he closed the lid and sat on it, frowning thoughtfully.

The letter was from Draco, no doubt about it. Harry could have recognised that elegant handwriting anywhere. Besides, who else could it have been? Harry was pretty confident that he knew what Draco wanted to talk about too… The question was, did Harry want to talk to Draco about it?

Harry shook his head. "What am I thinking about? Am I a Gryffindor or not? Of course I'll meet him!" he decided. "Though I can't help but think about what Ron and Hermione would say… They'd probably claim it's a trap. But… What Ron and Hermione don't know, can't hurt them, right? And it's not like it's really any of their business."

Nodding emphatically Harry rose up and went to find Ron and Hermione, he had classes to attend. Harry found lessons hard to concentrate on, but that was nothing new. He could hardly wait 'till midnight.

xXxXxXxXx

It was nearing midnight as Harry trudged along the corridors. He went up the stairs to the third floor and sneaked towards the trophy room as quickly as his Invisibility Cloak would allow. Right before entering he took off the cloak and stuffed it into his bag, no need for the Malfoy to see it. Upon entering he could see that Draco had already arrived. He was lounging casually in the shadow of a large glass cabinet filled with trophies of all kind.

"So you showed up", Draco drawled in an arrogant tone of voice, as if he couldn't care less.

"Yeah. I did", answered Harry oh-so-intelligently. There was a long silence.

"So… You wanted to talk", Harry said, trying to get the conversation started up.

"Yes… I wish to propose an…arrangement", Draco said slowly.

"An arrangement? What sort of an arrangement?" Harry asked, looking at Draco sharply.

"I'm willing to give this...thing between us a try, on the condition that absolutely no-one besides us would know of it. What do you say…Harry?"

Harry was dumbstruck. It took him a while to gather his wits, but when he did, he could find only one answer for Draco's question: "I…say we should give it a shot."

Harry could have sworn he saw a faint, but definitely real smile on Draco's face.

"Good."

And that's how it began. Most their time together consisted of secret meetings and quick gropes in shadowed corners, but all things considered, both were happy. There were many fights of course, but that was simply unavoidable when those two were concerned. Harry got Draco to open up a bit more, and all was well.

…Until the end of their seventh year, that is.

It was the last week of school, and the seventh years were mostly lazing around since the N.E.W.T.'s were already behind them. Harry and Draco were meeting in the well-hidden abandoned classroom they tended to favour. Harry arrived after Draco as usual and even though to most Draco's face would have seemed emotionless, Harry could see that he was agitated.

"Were finished", announced Draco abruptly, staring out of the window.

Harry started visibly and cried: "What! Draco, what do you mean?"

"I said were finished. We can't see each other any more."

"But, Draco I-", Harry tried saying.

"Oh shut up Potter. It's not as if I promised you forever", Draco drawled and stalked to the door.

"Draco, wait!" Harry pleaded.

Draco paused in the doorway and Harry felt a twinge of hope. However, instead of turning back Draco said: "Don't you dare try to contact me." After that he shut the door with a soft click.

Harry almost went after him, but something stopped him. Instead he slowly slid on the floor, leaning against the wall. As he tried to hold his tears back he couldn't help but damn his Gryffindor idiocy for letting himself get involved with Draco.

Author's Notes: It's not over yet! There's one more chapter. I was sorely tempted to name this thing "Harry Nods a Lot" you know... 'Cause he really does, in this fic. And that's kind of stupid. I should just shut up now.

This is seriously the longest thing I have ever written. Seven pages, dude, seven pages! Without the author's notes and whatnot the wordcount is 3116. For me, that's really long.

I simply adore reviews. Just so you know.