Chapter One
Air. I needed air. I stumbled almost blindly to the back door of the club and shoved the door open, lurching outside as I grabbed hold of a set of empty beer crates on the side of the door, struggling to stay on my feet. Even in a different, brighter setting, the scene still replayed in my head—taunting me. I closed my eyes, in a desperate attempt to suppress it, and only found it to blare it even louder. My own mind, holding me prisoner.
I gasped as I opened my eyes and felt tears coming to my eyes. No. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't real. I looked down at my knuckles, white as I held onto the crates for dear life, and thought to myself, Get a grip, Laurel. I took a deep breath and let go of the crates and dropped my arms to my sides, and my left arm collided with my side satchel I had forgotten I was wearing. Then, the idea sparked in my mind.
I frantically brought my purse up to eye level and proceeded to claw through my purse until I saw them—a prescription bottle I had picked up at the pharmacy earlier as a favor to my father and a pack of cigarettes I didn't have the heart to throw out even after I had "quit". I looked up to the brick wall and said to myself, No. Don't do it. You're stronger than this. But the memory just flooded back, and I found myself opening the tube and grabbing two pills hurriedly. Before I could talk myself out of it, I dry-swallowed two pills and closed my eyes. A few seconds later, I feverishly grabbed a cigarette from out of the new pack and began to trifle through my purse again, desperate for a lighter.
After searching with some difficulty with one hand, I placed the cigarette between my teeth and balanced it expertly, and allowed myself to continue my search even more erratically with both hands. Just then, I felt a figure coming towards me from inside the club. Isn't the back alleyway a hint enough that I just wanted to be left alone and was in no mood to be hit on by some guy that was at least five years younger than me? I turned to the incoming figure, and then he emerged into the light.
Tommy Merlyn. He looked me once over and said as he leaned against the door frame, "Thought you quit, Laur." With both my hands in my tiny handbag and a cigarette shoved between my teeth, I realized just how ridiculous I must have looked to him—a far cry from the usually put-together Laurel Lance that most people have come know. Removing my hands from my bag and grabbing the cigarette from my mouth, I let out a long sigh and said nothing; I didn't need to.
Tommy—my old friend, a secret former flame, and one of the last people that I wanted to see me in my craze. He clicked on a lighter from his hand, pulling me away from my thoughts, and asked me, "Need a light or are you rethinking it, Lance?"I stared at him for a second, pursed my lips, leaned forward to light my cigarette, and finally sat down on one of the old crates and said, "After what I've seen today, I'll need more than a cigarette that's for damn sure, Merlyn." He stared at me for a while and then sat down on a crate next to me and said, "If you're gonna smoke, might as well do it along with you." I glanced at him, raised an eyebrow, but didn't say a word. I threw the pack onto his lap and said, "All yours."
It was quiet for a few minutes, as he let me gather my thoughts, all of which were consumed with what I had seen just a few minutes ago. Sara, my own sister, and Sebastian, my "loving" boyfriend who was supposed to be at a charity event tonight, kissing in the middle of Oliver Queen's club for everyone to see. For me to see. Finally, he broke the silence and asked, "Are you okay?" I shrugged and tilted my head back, blowing smoke into the clear black sky. He said, "Laur, talk to me. Say something." I glanced at him and asked simply, "How would you feel?" He said, "I'm an only child. Can't say that could ever really happen to me." I stared at him, and finally grinned besides myself. This guy always knew how to make a serious situation, a light one.
He said, "Come on, we're in the Glades on a Friday night at the hottest night spot in town. What did you expect, everyone to be poster children for chastity?" I took another drag and said blowing out, "Better, from both of them." He blew out smoke and said, "It'll get better." I laughed mirthlessly and said, "Right. How exactly am I gonna forget this, again Tommy? This isn't the first time it's happened." He said glancing at the open door, "Come on, I'll get Ollie to cover the rest of my shift. I'll drive you home."
I glanced at the parking lot and said, "I can't take you away from your job, Tommy. You said it yourself; it's a Friday night at the Glades, and this apparently is the place to be tonight." He said, "I'm the manager, Laur. I can't wait to leave this headache every night." I answered after a while, "Maybe you'll lighten my spirits." He said, "I tend to do that... from what I hear anyways." I looked backwards and spotted his best friend Oliver Queen at the bar, surrounded by girls as always and clearly in his element. I harrumphed, been there, done that. He looked at where I was glancing and said, "He's got the club under control tonight." I said, turning away from him and back to Tommy, "Well then, let's go." He stood up, threw his cigarette on the floor, stepped on it with his signature Italian leather loafers, and held his hand out for me.
I took one more drag of the now tiny cigarette and blew the smoke into the air. I stared at it, seeing not a cigarette but proof of yet another failed attempt at quitting, and threw it to the floor in disgust. I stepped on the flickering remains of the cigarette with my five inch heels. I grabbed his outstretched hand cautiously and he smiled, saying, "Let's go." I let him lead me to his truck, and as we backed out of the parking lot, I realized that everything either one of them had ever told me was a lie. Why was this happening to me again?