AN. Sorry I know I should be working on 'Lucas' at the moment but I needed to write this one. I'm in an over-emotional mindset today. Sorry if it's kind of cheesy!
Dear my one and only,
If you are reading this then the cancer must have won. I swear to you I will have fought it right to the end with everything I had. I never wanted to leave you and I promise I never truly will.
I am not scared of my fate, Gil. It sounds cliché but I will have died happy. I have no regrets other than that my life with you has been cut short, for even my mistakes and missed opportunities were only part of the journey that taught me to be stronger. I may not have had the easiest ride but because of you my life was complete and for that I want to thank you.
When I met you for the first time in San Francisco all those years ago it was the first time I felt genuinely happy in a long time. Our relationship although dysfunctional at first was perfect. I met my soul mate, and that is a blessing so few ever get to receive. The years I spent with you in Vegas were among the best in my life. I finally felt as though I had a family. So stay with our CSI family, Gil. They will want to help you so please don't shut them out. And keep my memory alive among you all, that way I will never really be gone.
For that is one thing I can promise you, Gil. I will never really be gone, in body perhaps but not in spirit. You and I are bound together. I love you more than it should be possible to love and nothing, not even death can come between that. So whatever awaits me after this life I promise I will always be watching over you. Don't let your life stop just because my life is finished. You are an amazing man Gil. Your life is still so full of potential. You will have your highs and lows in the years to come but in the highs I will be watching proudly and in the lows I will be by your side ready to help you back on your feet. If you ever need me I will be right beside you, a shoulder to cry on and someone to carry you along.
So live the life you want to live Gil and take every opportunity life blesses you with. Do not let the insecurities that cut our time together stop you again. I do not hold those fears against you but now that you have me at your side you don't have to fear anything again. For together we are invincible.
So remember me, and celebrate the life we had together. Go on and live the rest of your life to the fullest. Do whatever you want to do but above all the only thing I truly ask of you is to be happy.
In what I hope will still be many years time I will meet you again in paradise and we will be together forever. Until then remember that I love you.
Your Guardian Angel.