Robert was not an idiot. He was often rash, impulsive…didn't think things through. He could admit it. How many times had others told him so? He was often drunk, almost as often as he broke his marriage with other women.

Those things did not make him blind.

And he did not like what he saw. Joffrey, his heir, had cut open a pregnant cat…and brought the unborn kittens to him. Like a present. As if it were something Robert should have been proud of him for.

It horrified him.

He'd turned a blind eye in the past; this was his heir, though. Not the Lannisters, or their mad knights. This was his heir. And when he died…Joffrey would be king. And Robert had a hard time sleeping at night, thinking that he'd leave a boy who slit open cats as king.

It didn't bode well, he could see that.

But Gods above, what the seven hells was he supposed to do about it?

When Joffrey had brought the unborn kittens to him, Robert's first reaction was to hit him. Hard. Cersei (damn that woman—Robert could see that she was blind to the boy's faults, ridiculously so) had stopped him from continuing to beat him. Ultimately, Robert had stormed off. He needed a drink, something that would make unable to tell up from down.

The next morning, he was hung-over. He went about his day as he typically would, ignoring the questioning looks Jon gave him. He had to eat with his wife and children. It was possibly the most awkward meal he'd ever had, with Cersei being completely silent. Did the woman think that was affecting him? That that would make him feel guilty? He was glad she wasn't talking. If only she'd always be this silent.

He noticed Joffrey picking at his food; not eating it. Robert said nothing; what was he supposed to say? In truth, Robert didn't trust himself to speak. Myrcella was silent, looking at everyone with wide innocent eyes. Tommen, only three, nearly threw a tantrum at one point. Joffrey told him to quit his crying (though not in such kind terms) and Robert noticed with conflicting guilt and satisfaction that Joffrey was missing several teeth.

After the meal, he'd spoken with Jon about the…situation. For a few odd moments Robert almost expected Jon to say, "No, Cersei's right. Joffrey didn't do anything wrong. You shouldn't have reacted so harshly."

To Robert's relief, that was not how Jon reacted. He seemed just as horrified as Robert.

And all of this led Robert to this moment. He was sitting on the throne. For once, nobody was bothering him with this problem or that problem, or their cousin's wife's uncle's problem across the sea.

For once, he could think about his own problems.

What was he supposed to do about Joffrey? The boy's his eldest legitimate son. His heir. In the future (and Robert was all too aware that this may come sooner than he'd want) Joffrey would be king. What sort of king would he be? Robert knew he wasn't the ideal. He let Jon do all the work, and truthfully, he sometimes wished it was Ned who took the crown. Robert was not them.

But Joffrey wasn't any of them. And now Robert had dreams of the boy, with a crown on his head, cutting into pregnant women, and heads rolling, and fire everywhere.

Robert couldn't sleep at night anymore. Not when all he can think is that he's sired the Mad King the Second.

Damn it all.

If only Ned were here. Ned would be able to handle…

Robert frowned, thinking.

Perhaps Ned could be the solution. Ned was a better person than he. Ned knew what he was doing. Honorable, honest Ned.

Send him away. Send Joffrey away, away to Winterfell, to Ned. Let him be fostered there, and maybe Ned will influence him. Joffrey may be a bad seed, but perhaps under Ned's guidance (which Robert knows is better than his), Joffrey can still be decent.

Robert got up from the throne. He'd write the stupid letter himself, and Ned would know it's important.

I must have lost my mind just to think of a fic like this. I don't even know where this weird thing came from...? It just popped into my head.

So yeah. Basically Robert actually does something about Joffrey's...uh, issues.

So this fic is basically that Joffrey gets raised by people who don't ignore him (Robert) or let him do whatever he wants (Cersei). The result is a character who isn't bad or good. He's still got issues, but he's actually a decent person.

But everything in Westeros still manages to go to hell.

So, uh...Anyone interested?