Warning: This piece of fiction has content involving the pairing Midna x Link and slight Ilia x Link. The main pairing is Midna x Link though. Those who oppose this pairing should leave now. Those who oppose Zelda fan fiction with a silent Link should also leave now. This story involves minor swearing, violence, blood, and other T rated material.

Disclaimer: I do not own Zelda, Nintendo does.

The Warrior and the Imp

Chapter: Cheese and the Epilogue

Link had begun his day off with his usual routine, lay in bed until noon. Fado had done Link a huge favor by giving him the day off. Link worries that Fado will mess up on accident and let a goat loose on accident again, but it is expected with the clumsy rancher who forgets to close the gates sometimes. Link just wanted a good day to himself and he was going to make sure that it was going to happen. Nobody was going to get in the way of that.

A rock soared through Link's bedroom window and hit a vase on a table, causing it to fall and break. Link sighed and got up. That was the kids' way of saying "get up, it is noon". Link walked over to the broken vase, discarded of the pieces, and pulled a similar vase out of a nearby chest that was filled with vases, and replaced his broken friend. Link had half a mind to teach the kids some manners, and their parents wouldn't mind one bit. Link went outside to greet his young guests, hoping they were just going to say "hi" and go back to their own houses.

Link walked outside to see Ilia holding a handful of rocks; this made him feel quite surprised. If Ilia wanted to see Link then she would either wait for him to come outside or just knock. Link gave her a "really?" smirk. She dropped the rocks and jokingly started to whistle as if to avoid attention. Link walked up to her and picked up a rock and threw it through his window and hit the new vase. Ilia couldn't help but laugh at Link's forgiving and funny gestures. She could see a real friend in Link. At times she could see other things that she would love in him, but she easily brushed those feelings off.

"It's noon Link. You got a big day ahead of you. The kids are just waiting to show you their surprise. "Ilia said trying to sound as cheery as possible.

Link got a little nervous on how the kids had a surprise for him. Being the village children they were entitled to their fun, goddess forbid it actually hurt somebody. Link was basically the town baby-sitter, meaning people expected their missing kids to be with him or trying to find him. This basically gave him quite a reputation with the parents of the village, considering they don't have to suffer the wrath of the three munchkins with a need to play.

"Come Link; the children want to see you at the Ranch." Ilia said grabbing his hand and holding it. She decided it was a good time to start dragging Link to these kinds of things. Link has been the victim of a pie ambush before. There was pie filling "everywhere".

The two walked through town holding hands and people started to look and snicker. Ilia ended up sticking her tongue out at her dad who had to turn around to hide his laughter. Link just ignored the looks and kept on walking, and trying to ignore the tightening grip. Ilia seemed a bit too happy about this.

When the two got to the Ranch three kids were standing with a box in front of them. Link only had one thought on that box and it was how to not let whatever was going to jump out get him. The two teens approached slowly, hoping the kids will be merciful on Link. Ilia let go of Link's hand as they approached the kids. They were snickering at the sight of Ilia holding Link's hand.

"Heya Link! We got you a present." Talo said trying to hold back laughter. "It's a good one; cost us a week's allowance."

Beth smacked Talo on the back of the head and said," You're not supposed to tell him that you idiot!"

Ilia chuckled and left Link's side to stand next to the kids. She thought it would be the safe spot for whatever the kids were cooking up. Link kneeled down and grabbed the top of the box. The snickers from the hand- holding incident were gone, now they were replaced with snickers of deviousness. Link lifted the lid of the box to find a cheese wheel. Ordon cheese was very pricy if one did not live in the vicinity, so the kids could afford this.

Talo leaned over to Beth and whispered," It didn't go off. Whadda we do?" A surprised look on his face made Malo very nervous, not that it would show.

"I dunno. I hope he will just think it was a harmless gift." Beth said hoping for the best.

Just immediately after Beth said that, Link picked up the cheese from the box and gave his thanks. He was about to put it in his infinitely spaced pockets when half of the cheese exploded. Fortunately the half that exploded didn't land on him; it landed on the four people in front of him; the four people that deserved it.

Talo had an awkward smile plastered with the clumps of cheese on his face. Ilia was so shocked she looked like she was going to die of a heart attack given to her by Farore for picking on the holder of the triforce of courage, not that they knew that fact yet anyway. Malo had a mask of cheese covering his whole face, hiding any emotion he would be showing. Beth had a cheese mess all over her clothing; the stains on them should be a permanent reminder of why not to mess with Link.

"Well, looks like the fireworks weren't duds." Malo said in a neutral and emotionless tone.