A/N: Hey,
So, firstly, yes I know this is very similar to Victims of Love, but I was kind of aiming for that since this piece is part of the Good Charlotte song lyric trilogy I am writing. This is, of course, the second of the trilogy. I am busy working on the third.
This story is my favourite genre. Angst that ends happy! Oh yes, it exists, and I will make sure it does. This may not be everyone's cup of tea and I am not that impressed with it myself, but the idea needed to be released… and some part of me is proud of this little one-shot. I don't know, I still think it's a bit weak.
Again, I know it is very similar to VoL BUT it is intended. ^_^
Please review, I put a lot of hard work into this.
Song used: "Where Would We Be Now?" by Good Charlotte
Where Would We Be Now?
Where would we be now,
If we found each other first…
I smile, you laugh, I look away.
I sigh you ask me why, I say…
o
"So, you're getting married in a week, huh?"
She turned to him, all traces of the laughter in her eyes gone.
She shifted uncomfortably, sighing. She cast her eyes to the blue sky and puffy clouds. "Yeah…" she answered softly. "Yeah… I am," she repeated, her voice shaky.
Temari was reminding them both.
Her hand found his.
o
Your hand on mine and I hear the words…
o
The words rang in his head.
She was getting married. She was getting married. She was getting married.
It figures, the only girl he ever loved would be forced to marry.
And because it was political, he couldn't stop it.
Well, shit.
o
If only love had found us first…
o
Shikamaru pulled his hand out from underneath hers and placed it on top.
Temari looked at him weakly and smiled as he threaded his fingers through hers.
She held onto his hand tightly. She looked at the sky again.
So perfect and happy, clear and blue skies.
Not mirroring how she felt at all.
o
Our lives, they would be different…
o
"Why you?" He asked suddenly.
"Shikamaru…" she pleaded. She gazed into his eyes, hers full of pain. "We have been over this… it's because they want a reinforced bond between villages." Her sigh was ragged with tears that wanted, desperately, to fall. "I can't back out; I can't do that to my village. Most of all, I can't do that to Gaara."
He knew all this. She had said it all before.
"I know…" He replied softly. He dropped his head and glanced downwards, settling his gaze on their hands. "But…" He felt tears burn the back of his eyes. He felt the grief welling dangerously.
He weakly squeezed her hand.
"…why you."
o
Where would we be now baby,
If we found each other first.
Where would we be now?
o
He stared at his hand.
It felt as if the coldness that surrounded it would never leave. Ever since she let go of that hand.
It would never feel warm again.
Not without her.
o
And now I must confess that I'm a sinking ship…
o
He was being pathetic
And he knew it.
What shinobi would let emotion tear them apart like this?
It was his fault. He knew the risks when he started.
He knew the risks of falling in love with her.
o
And I'm anchored by the weight of my heart cause it's filled with these feelings…
o
And after he abused that knowledge, look where he was.
He was at home, in mourning of the person he had lost from his life. He was at home dreading his birthday. Two and a half days away.
The day of her marriage.
But he couldn't stop it. No matter how hard he wanted it to be stopped. No matter how hard he wanted it to have never existed.
No matter how hard he wanted to be the one marrying her.
He couldn't stop it.
And that was that.
o
But I keep my true thoughts locked, beside my heart's black box…
o
His numb (cold…) fingers deftly toyed with the envelope.
Inside was it.
The invitation to her wedding.
She wanted him to come. She wanted him to run in at the last minute and stop the wedding. He knew.
But he also knew that she knew that he couldn't.
It was just hopeful wishing.
o
It won't be found, it won't survive, through the smoke or the wreckage…
o
He felt sick, looking at his name written on the invitation.
It was supposed to read his name next to hers.
That's the way it was supposed to be.
That's the way it should be.
Then why wasn't it?
He felt the tears burn the back of his eyes until he felt as if he couldn't see.
"Shit," he breathed. His voice crushed by oncoming sobs.
o
So I crash and burn…
o
She wasn't going to know, he realized.
She wasn't going to know that he would always love her.
These feelings wouldn't diminish in time. They would be masked and crushed.
But they would never leave him.
And she would never know that he would always love her.
And he never told her.
The sobs escaped and his body was wracked with spasms of grief.
It hurt.
Oh, holy hell, it hurt.
o
I've got a lot of things to learn…
o
The sound of thundering knocks echoed throughout his mind.
He ignored it. He couldn't cope with anyone else at this moment.
He heard the shouting. But he didn't pay attention.
Then his mind was invaded and his body was forcibly moved.
His hand found the door and he opened it to reveal his friend. Ino stood in front of him looking shocked and irritated. Then a wave of sympathy rolled over as she saw the tear stains and bloodshot eyes. But, her determination did not waver.
"Shikamaru!" she barked. "What are you doing here?!"
"I live here," he stated simply.
His cheek seared with pain. He felt the great fiery patch on his face where her angry palm had slapped him. Her eyes looked as if they were on fire.
"No, you idiot," she seethed. "What are you doing here?"
And for once, he didn't know the answer.
o
Where would we be now baby,
If we found each other first?
o
He just watched her.
He had been for the last two minutes. But he just watched her.
Temari was beautiful, in a long off white dress, her hair was up but messy, and her makeup was smudged from the tears.
She looked perfect (if such a thing existed…)
Only because he knew those tears were for him.
He stepped out from behind the decorative screen, only making his presence known because he heart couldn't take it anymore. She stopped pacing and froze, beautiful eyes wide, spark of hope ignited.
"Shikamaru…"
o
What would you do now, darling…
o
She didn't know what to do. Was he here for her or to tell her…
"Shikamaru…?" She asked again.
He dropped his head; he couldn't stand to look at her. Not with her diminishing hope in her eyes. And not because of how she looked so beautiful at that moment.
Temari lost hope. She knew he wasn't here to stop the wedding. He couldn't after all… She felt a tear roll down her cheek. She aggressively wiped it away.
"I came here because you asked me to," Shikamaru admitted at last.
"Right," Temari muttered. "Well, you're here."
"I came here for you, Temari, ok?" Shikamaru asked softly, his voice was weak and somber.
Temari nodded and slowly walked towards him. She wanted to outstretch her arms but she was unsure if he would back away or allow it.
In an instant his arms wrapped around her and pulled her body into his in a tight embrace. Her arms gripped weakly at the material at the back of his shirt. His face was buried into her neck and she stared vaguely at the wall.
She would never feel this feeling again, this feeling of warmth around her, warmth around her arms, warmth that reached her heart and not only her body.
He had to let go, the more he held her the more it felt as if he was going to die. Like he was being suffocated by his emotions. His arms slowly fell from her waist. She understood and let go of him. Her face was in front of his, centimeters between them.
They couldn't. It would completely tear their hearts to pieces.
In order to stop herself, Temari backed away from him, avoiding his eyes at all costs. She needed to get away. She walked towards the door.
"Temari…"
o
If I said these simple words…
o
"I really came here to tell you…"
He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked up towards her.
"I'll wait."
Temari turned around sharply at him, eyes disbelieving. He was smiling at her, tears ruining the mask of perfection.
"…as long as you want."
She gave him a watery smile.
And for him it fucking lit up the room.
o
So I stand and wait,
I am just a man…
o
He was there when she got married, watching from the balcony.
He watched her say her vows.
And he cried.
I'll wait, I'll wait…
He awoke with a start, promptly falling off his couch.
He swore and stared at his ceiling.
Shikamaru hoped that this wouldn't happen. Every time he tried to sleep in his bed he kept dreaming of her.
It had been three months since then.
o
Where would we be now, baby,
If we found each other first…
o
He was vaguely aware that it was mid afternoon and rainy.
Damn woman.
He couldn't even have a small afternoon sleep without dreaming of her.
He heard a knock on his door and he promptly got up to answer it.
He was hoping it was Chouji or Ino with news on how their mission in Suna was. (news on how she was, more importantly…) He needed friends to fill the void that was aching in his chest.
He opened the door casually and stopped dead.
"Hey, crybaby."
o
What would you do now, darling?
o
He looked at her longingly.
Was he still dreaming? Surely…
"Temari…?"
She smiled in response. Temari walked past him and into his house, wringing the water out of her loose hair.
"So… Gaara said that both he and the Raikage were content with the bond between villages. Signed a treaty and everything." Temari turned around and stood in his small open hallway. "Gaara assures me that even a nullification of the marriage wouldn't threaten the bond."
Shikamaru closed the door in a daze.
Was she trying to tell him…?
"What about… him?"
"He agreed to nullify the marriage." Temari smiled to herself and looked away from Shikamaru's eyes.
"He said that I was in love with somebody else."
She grinned at Shikamaru. "Ridiculous, huh?"
Without hesitation he grabbed onto her arm and pulled her forwards to meet his lips. She molded into him and kissed him back avidly. All the pain, misery and loneliness she felt for the past few months coming through in passion. He picked her up quickly and held his arms under her thighs. She latched her legs around his waist to support herself.
"So, does the offer still stand?" She asked breathlessly, her chest heaving for air.
"Woman…" he laughed to himself before kissing her again. She smirked against his lips. He could get used to this. Far too easily.
"Of course it does."
o
FIN
o
I'll wait, I'll wait.
As long as you want.