Compulsive Notes.
I wrote this story for one reason, and that's for it not to make sense. Let me repeat that ITS NOT SUPPOSE TO MAKE SENSE! You should only understand few bits. But for the most part this is a confusing story. It's set after Sasuke killed Itachi. I was inspired to write this by Ellen Hopkins. And another writer I saw on FF. But Anyways, if you've read my other stuff you'd see a lot of my stuff is set in AU. And this isn't an AU. It's not happy. Like my other stuff. It's suppose to be confusing, sad, and insane.
Warning: If you weren't looking for Shohen-ai, you came to the wrong place, cuz that's all OB5699 is about.
Disclaimer: Why the hell would I own anything if I was on here?!
Writer: Compulsive
Stop.
You moving to fast. See the trees rushing around you? You'll run into a tree, better yet be ambushed. What are you talking about, you always move this fast. This isn't out of the ordanary. Where are you going? What are you running from? There's no one chasing you. You can feel their eyes burnin' holes in you back. You know they're here.You're slowing down? That's okay, this way we'll see where we're going, right Sasuke?
-Abruptly stopped.-
What happened? Why am I not moving? Those eyes, they've got you now. You not going anywhere now. Your the teme, not the dobe. Why can't we move our limbs. Open your eyes you idiot! It's dark, We can't see anything. Nope, there's the light. And a figure. It's hard to see behind this...this...mesh, this knitting. You've been captured. Locked down. Your not going anywhere. But you can see them, they're standing above you. Laughing evilly. You know that voice.
-"You slowed down, you fool. Your not the 'Almighty Uchiah' now."-
Please.
Let us go! We did you no harm, right? We've done everyone harm. This pain, with every lash I can feel. It's not...hurting. The pain has ceased. It's...blissful. I will shed no blood for this person. I will stand strong, won't I? I'll hold out for as long as I can. I will take it right? The kicks. The pain.
-Lash-
Bliss. It's gone. You can't feel it anymore. That last lash, it drew blood. But you can see now. We can tell. We're not mesh bagged. Just tied up. Hands and feet. You feel something soothing on your wounds. A cool feeling to the burn, that didn't come from the lash.
-"What do you want?"-
I haven't spoken. That's all I've said. What do you want? Giving up so easily, ne? How could you. Turn on all of us. We wanted to show you something so beautiful. That's dead now. Now your freedom, your want, your need to put a silence to Itachi's enternal laughter has you here. Giving up without a care in the world. You want this person to tear you up. Of course you do. He's dead! Laugh, sing, make merry! Why? Why? You useless. His death did nothing. Revenge, the sweetest drug, the most potent killer.
-We could have been.-
Listen.
We didn't mean for it to go so wrong. We thought everything would go right, like in a fairytale. I would find the happiness. Death wasn't one to speak. He won't come to soon will he? Teme! Shut up! You've done no wrong. No right. The outlets people offered you you turned down. For what? This? This? This is hell. Itachi gave you hell, in exchange for his life. His love.
-"I love how you can silently take lash after lash."
It's what you deserve. What you need. See, it feels so good you don't even notice that it's still happening. We need this? We need this pain? We need the venom running through our veins? The venom makes us alive! We've been dead for so many years, and you just didn't know it. Why did we slow down? We felt the eyes on our back, right? Ne. We wanted this escape.
-Blood puddles your body.-
It's everywhere. The lashing has stopped. It's done. The item is dropped. The cool dirt is kicked in your face, it cools and burns your open gashes. Your disgusting. Your a pig. They're gone. Your alone. In your blood. Alone. You hate this. Alone. You HATE IT! Some body stand by your side! Somebody make your life worth something. Somebody make you feel worth nothing. Make you feel anything. Just not alone. Anything but alone.
-Alone-
Waiting.
Being monopolized by pain, and suffering is becoming hard for you, huh? For us. You can't keep your stories straight. We're laying in a puddle in our own blood! I'm sorry if I'm being confusing! Shh...I'm getting sleepy. I'm sorry. There are so many people we need to tell that to. Like who?
-Naruto-
Dobe. Where is he? Shouldn't he be here now? Holding me. Holding us. He should shouldn't he. He should be here, making sure we don't do anything stupid. Making sure, despite what we may look like, we're happy. Where the hell did happiness go? You left it, you left it at home. We left it. We left our only home. For emptiness? Incompleteness? Aloneness? That's what we wanted. ISOLATION! What a dobe we've become.
-"Oh. My. Kami! The note didn't lie! What happened?!"-
Your...your here? The note? What? Don't question any of it. That all doesn't matter. What matters is that your in his arms. Your safe. We're safe. In his arms, near his heart. Even if we died right now, we'd die happy. No longer empty. No longer incomplete. No longer...alone. Your right, we're not alone. We'll never be alone again, right?
-"I'm...sorry...never leave...my side."-
Won't.
We won't die alone. We won't. What's this? Do you feel that? Yeah...Air blowing through our hair. We can't see, because of course our eyes are shut. We're so sleepy. Maybe we should nap until we get there. A nap feels...sounds...nice. We would love a nap. Now that you say that, we're so sleepy. Very! We feel like we need sleep now! We do need sleep.
-Sleepy. Very Sleepy.-
But we're not gonna go to sleep yet. Why? I...we wanna see his face again. Don't we? Yes. And we want to see where he's taking us. It's cold. Very cold. We're tired and we're sleepy, and we're cold. Let's open out eyes now. Okay, I see him, he's looking down on us, concerned. It's night. But we're moving. We see his beautiful face, laced with fear. His blond hair being pushed back by the wind.
-So cold.-
Why didn't we see it before? See? Why didn't he see it before. If we had been confronted...we'd realise it too. Realise? This...love.That's why we wanted him here. We wanted him here alone. With his features smiling down on us. Telling us we'd be okay! We'd be safe. We'd be with him. We'd never need to worry about being alone again. For that moment. And that blissful moment we'd be with him. Him. The one who gave us happiness. Wholeness. Completeness. Never alone. With him.
-"It's gonna be okay. We're nearly there."-
Stop.
Stop complaining. I don't wanna hear your sadness. We? I. I'm sick of it. Just like I'm sick of being cold. And being Tired. And being alone. And being one of nothing. But we liked him saying it's gonna be okay. I hate you. I hate me. I hate us. I hate we. We're not a good team. Much like...we slowed down, even though we could tell they were watching us. See what we've gotten? Nothing. We're useless.
-"Don't...leave...my...side."-
We feel sick now. I feel sick now. We're dying! We're dying! There's no way around it! Do you know how much blood we left back there? I know. We know. I knew that so long ago. We should be dead. We just haven't napped yet. Haven't slept. Haven't warmed ourselves up yet. Haven't been useful.
-"We're here! You're gonna live! You're gonna be okay!"-
No we won't. We're not gonna make it out alive. We just wanted...I just wanted to be by your side. We wanted to be by your side. We wanted your affection. I wanted you to look at me. We wanted to see you again. Before my...our...demise. That's why we slowed down. We wanted demise? Oh yes. We want our kingdom to fall. For we aren't going to die. We aren't?
-Death was acquired when we left home. We are dead.-
This.
Everything about this moment is wrong. I'm not in Naruto's arms anymore! We're not in his arms. Our wounds are being treated. We're gonna be okay? No! This isn't right. We were only lashed, and beaten. This isn't right. I don't wanna be on this oparating table. I don't want to be fixed! Leave me broken! Leave me broken! My pain is more in my soul! You can't fix my soul! So leave me broken! Leave me broken!
-Voice. It's dead.-
Naruto wants us fixed. He does, doesn't he. He wants us to be fixed. He wants to hold us? Hold me? Don't we want to be held? Don't fall for this trick! We don't want to be fixed! They're gonna fix us anyways. We're dead! You can't bring the dead back! Naruto can. He can fill our empty void. Naruto will hold us. Hold me. Naruto. Fix our broken soul. I want this. This holeness he gives us. It will make us happy. Make me happy. It will.
-Don't you feel the sleepiness getting stronger?-
It's overwhelming! It's so strong. Maybe we should nap. Maybe we should...sleep. Don't! It's to late. I'm tired. And if I sleep, I'll see him. I'll wake up in his arms. No! This is not right! We want to fall asleep in his arms! We want to fall asleep in him arms! I want to fall asleep in his arms! What if we never wake up?
-In his arms.-
Pain.
There. We...I made it. Through the fixing. Now we're in our bed. Our...my hospital bed. In his arms. I can sleep now. The pain has ceased. The pain is gone. Now that the pain's gone, and we're in his arms. We can sleep. And if we never wake up, that's okay. That's okay for me. That's okay. That's okay for us. We're okay with that. Because we got what we wanted. I got what I wanted. His love. His affection.
-"Sasuke, I love you."-
That's good. I love you too. But I can't tell you that. For I'm dying. I'm dying now. I'm making sure of it. No longer will I remain in pain. I'm not gonna wait. Waiting's not enough. Pain isn't enough. Naruto. You're enough. Your my all. And I couldn't stay here. And the pain you'll feel, the death that will come over you won't be good. So stay strong for me. Because my soul died a long time ago. My body just hasn't followed yet. And it's time.
-You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villan.-
Yes. Now forget me. Forget my life. Forget everything. The past we had, keep that, but who it was with, forget. Forget my rare laugh. My constant cry. My face, my hair, my body. And the soul that died when I left. Forget it. My life is cut short by the pain of forgettenness. The pain of death. The pain of loss. The pain of losing. The pain. The strong pain, the venom that ran through my veins. The sadness that will grace your face, the feeling of loss. Now I see the light. It's bright and beautiful. We see the light. The bright sparkly light. The pain coming to an end. We can sleep now.
-You lost yourself. You didn't died, you went crazy. You are insane.-
Like I said, it's not suppose to make sense. I hope you enjoyed. Review?