If You Think It's Going To Be A Good Day, It Usually Isn't
Shinpachi sighed in bliss, clutching his new purchase to his chest like a little kid clutching a teddy bear. Sure, it was a hassle, but Shinpachi had managed to buy a signed copy of the new Otsuu CD on the very same day that it came out. Otsuu-chan's face smiled up at him from the CD cover, and Shinpachi caught himself blushing back in happiness. This was going to be a good day, he just knew it from the way Otsuu was looking at him, and-
"Katsura-san." Shinpachi's eyebrows twitched. "Why are you standing in front of a manga store, dressed up like Kanda Yu?"
Katsura looked down at him condescendingly, his long black hair pulled into a high ponytail which swung from side to side as he paced back and forth in front of the manga shop. "It's not Katsura, it's Kanda-ttebayo!"
Gintoki, who was just walking out of the store, whacked Katsura on the head with the week's issue of Shonen Jump as Kagura tagged along beside him, munching on fresh packets of sukonbu. "Zura, don't do that. You're mixing up your anime, aren't you, Zura? Seriously, stick to one character when you're cosplaying, okay Zura?"
"It's not Zura, it's Katsura! I mean, Kanda!"
"Hey, Zura," said Kagura, polishing off a packet of sukonbu before looking at him curiously, her big blue eyes wide and innocent. "Zura, why's your hair so long?"
"Not Zura. Katsura," Katsura felt compelled to say. Kagura ignored him.
"Zura, how'd you grow all the hair for that ponytail?"
"Not Zura, Katsura!" Kagura kept on ignoring him.
"Didn't it just get chopped off 4 episodes ago, Zura?" A deadly aura began to surround Kagura. "Is that a wig, Zura? I know it's a wig! Zura, why are you wearing a wig?!" She pulled viciously at his ponytail, nearly ripping Katsura's skull from his neck.
Kagura blinked when Katsura slumped lifelessly to the ground and a few dark strands of his hair came off in her hand. "Oh. I guess Zura's not wearing a wig after all."
"Not Zura... Katsura..." Zura's corpse dragged itself upright with some difficulty, blood spurting from its neck. "By cosplaying as characters from popular anime," Katsura's corpse explained, grimacing in pain as it snapped its neck back into place, "More and more of the impressionable young masses will be inspired to join the Joi!"
Gintoki's eyebrows twitched. "No, Zura. Look. People are edging away from you. Really, look. They don't like the neck snapping. And they think you're an otaku. They're seriously afraid of you, you know!"
"Don't be afraid!" Katsura proclaimed to the impressionable young masses. "Joi is joy! Come join us for a better future!" He unsheathed his sword and his ponytail streamed along in a sudden and inexplicable breeze. It all would have looked really cool if there hadn't been copious amounts of blood oozing down his chin.
Shinpachi watched with dead eyes as a woman screamed and shielded her daughter from the sight of Katsura's still slightly unhinged neck. "Wait!" Katsura called out after the woman, who was hastily picking up her daughter and stumbling away from the insane cosplayer. "Joi is joy! Joi is joy..." His voice dwindled pathetically as he watched the woman scream again and run to a nearby love hotel for cover.
Shinpachi sighed, wiping his glasses on his Otsuu headband and carefully tucking his new CD into the folds of his robes. This was going to be a bad day. With all the wisdom and predictability of the glasses character of a not-so-typical Shonen anime, he just knew it.
A/N: Not sure if I wanna expand on this or anything, I just wanted to do a short crossoverish fic and this is what happened. I kept thinking Zura looked a whole lot like Kanda from DGM and had to write something about it! (But now that I think about it, young Hijikata looks more like Kanda...) Anyway, the idea sort of devolved into this. Oh, by the way, this is supposed to take place around ep. 68, which Rumbel Subs will hopefully release really soon. Hope you enjoyed it, now spread the Gintama love!!