I wasn't always alone.
While Sora was asleep, I had Xion. Then Xion didn't exist anymore. I still had Roxas, though.
Roxas doesn't exist anymore.
Months passed. 76 days. I counted. 76 days since Xemnas said bring Roxas home, or destroy him for good. Roxas got away. And then Roxas died.
Died. Became a part of Sora. Whatever, same thing. The point is, he isn't here. And most days, I feel like I'm not here either.
I wrecked Roxas's room. Destroyed it. Burned it. Don't care. I ripped up his bed and toppled his nightstand and smashed his window. Got in a bit of trouble.
He loved Xion. Loved her so hard it made me hurt.
I don't care anymore. I don't care about them. Nobodies don't care. Don't care.
Don't want them to see me. They won't understand. Demyx, he laughed it off. Larxene grinned. Some pretended to mourn for a moment. I don't mourn. I don't care.
Saix was the only one with no reaction. He went on with work as usual. Lucky bastard.
Don't want them to see me like this. Curled up on the floor of Roxas's room. Surrounded by charred seashells. Tears. Nobodies don't cry. The salt on my cheeks must be something else. Don't care. Don't.
I hang my head, my fingers tangling in my hair and pulling. It hurts. Good. My screams aren't human. They haven't been human for 76 days.
"Axel."
The screams stop. "Saix."
"Get up."
"Why?"
"We have work to do."
"No."
Saix growls. He's the only person I know with the ability to growl. "Are you going to sit in here feeling nothing but pity for yourself for another two months?"
I stare down at the ground. Saix doesn't understand. Doesn't care. I don't care. I speak.
"Two and a half months."