Unspoken

"Well, Crookshanks, it looks like I'm the last one of our little trio who's still single," I said, patting his head. It had been a long drive to Harry and Ginny's new home. I was going to stay for the weekend because I hadn't seen them in two years and because it was so far for me to drive, but I was finally getting close. At least, according to their directions. But Harry had given them to me, so I really doubted they were right. Harry had such a terrible sense of direction. I grinned just thinking about seeing him again.

And Ginny. Her too.

I turned to the left and began speaking with my cat again.

"But I'll meet someone, don't you think? I mean, Ron has Luna, Harry has Ginny…Neville's single and—"

"MROUGH!" Crookshanks exclaimed.

"Well, I suppose you're right, he isn't exactly the greatest guy for me, is he? I don't like him that way, Crookshanks, don't worry." He purred. "You know," I said, "I always thought I'd end up with one of them." He looked up from the seat next to me, fascinated. "Oh, yes, I used to have a huge crush on Harry," I said dreamily, lost in memories.

"Mew?" he said hopefully.

"Hmm? Oh, sorry. You're so smart that I sometimes think you can read my mind. Well, I did fancy him for quite a while. I mean, I liked Ron, too, for a short while, but I always thought Harry was something special," I said.

"Meow," he said.

"You're right, I know he is, but I meant the special one for me."

"Meow, mew," he scolded.

"I do not!" I cried indignantly. He looked at me skeptically. "Seriously, Crookshanks, I gave Harry up to Ginny in our sixth year. It's been six years since I've felt anything romantic towards him." Crookshanks gave a spit of disbelief.

"Fine," I said, "think whatever you want." He licked one paw and used it to clean his ears. "Oh! Here we are!" I said excitedly as we pulled into the driveway. I gasped. It was a lovely house, a plain brick home with a white picket fence in front and a spotless lawn. The house itself seemed to smile in welcome. I parked the car, gathered up Crookshanks, and made my way up the walk. I rang the bell and got an almost instantaneous response.

"Hermione!" Ginny cried, flinging the door open.

"Hey, Ginny!" I embraced the red-headed girl happily.

"Merlin, I haven't seen you since the wedding!" she said. "And then I was too busy to really talk to you."

"I know, I've missed you. Both of you," I said. "Where's your husband?"

"Oh, I don't know. HARRY! HERMIONE'S HERE!" she called out. Her voice echoed in the hallway and then I heard Harry's voice. Something lit up inside me when he called back.

"Brilliant!" He rushed in and before I knew it, my best friend was holding me once again like he'd done so many times when I needed him. Tears filled my eyes. Why had I moved so far away from them? I missed seeing my friends every day. I missed our schooldays together. There, I didn't have to worry about keeping in touch with anyone.

I kissed Harry on the cheek.

"It's so good to see you again, Harry," I said. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too," he said. Our eyes met and we both smiled. For some reason, I felt myself blush. I heard Crookshanks give me a scolding "mew" from the doorway, but I ignored him.

"Harry, why did I move so far away from you guys?" I asked.

"I don't know, Herms, but you shouldn't've." I cringed.

"Why do you have to call me Herms?" I asked. He shrugged.

"Because you hate it so much." His boyish grin spread across his face and his eyes twinkled mischievously. I rolled my eyes but grinned. Ginny cleared her throat.

"Ahem. Harry, why don't you show Hermione her room?" she asked. "That'll give you two some time to catch up, and I have to go check on dinner."

"Okay, honey," he said, kissing her. My heart skipped a beat. I'd felt something when he kissed her, something horrid that I'd hoped I wouldn't feel, that I truly didn't think I'd feel. Crookshanks had been right. I felt jealous. Just in that instant, I forgot everything but my jealous rage. I was ready to do something drastic, but luckily Harry grabbed my hand and whisked me away upstairs happily to show me my room.

"Here," he said, "here we are." It was a pretty little room, even if it was plain and quite small. The walls were a pale green and there was a small twin bed with a green and white striped comforter in the corner. A vintage desk was against the other wall, complete with a quill and a pot of ink. There was a tiny bathroom and even a small closet.

"I love the décor. Your house is beautiful," I said. Harry smiled.

"Wait 'till you see the rest! C'mon!" As he gave me a tour of the house, we talked about our lives and how things were going.

"So," he asked, "are you dating anyone?"

"No," I said, sighing, "I went on a few dates, but no one I'm particularly interested in seeing again."

"Oh." He sighed.

"Why?"

"What d'you mean why? We're best friends. I'm interested," he said indignantly.

"Or maybe you just wanted to meet anyone interested in me so you could embarrass me in front of them, eh?" I said. He shrugged.

"That's just a perk. My real plan was to scare them off." I puzzled on this.

"Now why would you want to do that?"

"No one's good enough for you, Herms." I misinterpreted him

"Hey! Are you saying I'm high-strung?" I protested.

"No, no, sorry, that's not what I meant. I mean if you meet the best guy in the world, he's not good enough for you either." I smiled. He was so sweet.

"Thanks, Harry, but I wish he'd hurry up and turn up already." He nodded.

"I know, you must be lonely. Why don't you move back to London?" he suggested.

"I can't, Harry, I have work."

"Oh, hush, Herms, you're qualified to work at ten times better a hospital than that one. Why, you could work at St. Mungo's." I sighed. He was right. I was highly qualified. I began to consider his proposal.

"You know," I said, "maybe I should move back here. It's not like I really have a lot waiting for me back at my house."

"You see?" he said. I cocked my head. "You don't even call it home. You call it a house. That's like I did for the Dursley's house."

"But I'd need somewhere to live." Harry knew very well that I rented my little apartment, and that it was a steal.

"Well, you'll find someplace. And until you do…you could stay here," he said.

"Really? No, no I couldn't…"

"Sure, you're one of our best friends, we can do that for you Herms." I winced at the hated nickname.

"You know, I hate to say it," I began, "but I might take you up on that. As soon as I saw you, I realized how much I missed being near you. And Ron and Ginny," I added quickly. Phew!

"DINNER!" Ginny hollered.

"Race you down," Harry said. His eyes twinkled merrily.

"GO!" I shouted without warning. I took off.

"Hey, that's not fair!" he cried. But he ran after me as fast as he could. We ended up in a heap on Ginny's clean kitchen floor. She shook her head and brought a large platter of pork to the table.

"My idiot brother and his rather eccentric wife decided to show up, too," Ginny said. We had a little reunion of our group of five that night, and as I lay in the guest bed later, I reflected on it. Five, I thought. That was the problem; there were only five of us. By our seventh year, Luna and Ginny had become a major part of our once-trio of friends. Ginny and Harry were a given, Ron and Luna fell into place. In a well-functioning clique, there was an even number of people, with the same number of girls as there were guys. This way, they could inter-date and switch it up and they always all had a date to the dances. But we'd only had five. And with the inevitable crashing down on us constantly, I was always on my own when finding an escort to the Yule Ball. I'd never noticed how difficult that had been for me, but now I felt so left out. Suddenly, and without warning, Harry popped into my head. I saw his face, and his eyes overflowing with mischief and kindness. I heard his voice when he told me I was too good for anyone else in the world. It's not true Harry, I imagined myself saying, there's one man that I think will do. In my mind, I kissed him passionately. Before I knew it, it was a full-fledged fantasy. I jerked myself out of it. I couldn't feel this! Harry was married! Happily married! He was Ginny's, and I knew it. And I didn't mind. Yes I did! I wanted him. I tried all night to talk myself out of loving him, but by dawn, I still hadn't been able to. I knew what I had to do.

When I packed my things up the next day, Harry came in to talk to me.

"Hello, Harry," I said nervously, "You surprised me."

"Sorry. So, are you going to move back in town? Do you want to stay with us?" Yes, Harry, yes! With all my heart! I want to stay here, with you, I need you, I want you! Let me stay here, I'll be back tomorrow with all my stuff!

I took a deep breath.

"No thanks. I changed my mind," I said.

"Huh?" he looked so disappointed it broke my heart.

"Yeah, I think I should stay out there, and I don't want to cause you guys any trouble, and…and…" I needed a good lie and plenty of luck that Harry wouldn't see through it. "And I have an elderly neighbor who always tells me she's comforted knowing a doctor lives so close by in case something should happen to her," I lied. Harry bought it and I breathed a quiet sigh of relief as he nodded sadly.

"I understand. But that would have been so cool, you know?"

"Yeah," I said in a voice that was falsely wistful. Harry couldn't know the real reason why I didn't want to live here. It would ruin everything between us, and shake things between him and Ginny. I couldn't do that to him, so I hugged him goodbye and vowed never to speak of this secret love to anyone, ever.

An unspoken love. I knew, the day I left their house, that I'd never marry. Or if I did, it wouldn't really be love. A person only loves once, and I was pushing my love out the window on purpose. I couldn't say it.

I love you Harry, but it must remain…

Unspoken.

Author's Note:

This is just a silly little thing I wrote. It came from a dream and I liked the idea. It was just that, an idea, lying dormant in my notebook, until a few days ago. Then I poured it all out and titled it "Unspoken".