Title: Letting Go
Author: Stolen Childe
Disclaimer: Anyone recognisable from the show belongs to Kripke and Co.
Rating: G
Warnings: Um, minor slash, kid!fic, future!fic, fluff, parenting
Pairing/Characters: Dean/Castiel, Sam, John Tabris, Jasper Winchester, Mary Jessica
Spoilers: Characters until season five
Word Count: 3700
Summary: Dean, Cas and Sam have a case that requires all hands on deck which means a day spent at daycare for John, Mary and Jasper. It doesn't go over too well.
Author's Notes: Story Thirty-Three of my John'Verse. Just thought I'd address another big event in children's and parents' lives. Hope you enjoy!
John's Age: 12
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Letting Go
The car had that uncomfortable silence of very unhappy children. Even Jasper who tended to be the happiest boy in the world was quiet and sullen in his car seat and John still refused to understand not only why Grandad couldn't watch them but also why at twelve entire years old, he had to go to a stupid daycare. That had been his words. Castiel had chastised him for using the word stupid and then calmly explained that twelve was still considered too young to be left alone, especially with young children in the house. John then very nearly demanded that the 'babies' could go to daycare and he could stay home just fine. Even Dean was a little subdued after Cas explained to John that arguing would not be tolerated.
Dean pulled the Impala out front of Prairie Home, Sam slid his truck in behind and it looked like Mary had maintained her temper tantrum at steady levels through the fifteen minute drive because Sam looked frazzled and exhausted. Mary was still kicking and screaming in Sam's arms, her little feet and fists packing quite the punch as they landed. Dean winced in sympathy.
It had taken them weeks to find a child care centre they all agreed on. Castiel insisted that they follow the play-to-learn programing, Sam insisted they were fully licensed and well established in the community and Dean just wanted to make sure they could handle his kids. Prairie Home had been the choice they'd come down to. It was a little difficult to explain that they wouldn't require the services all the time but the managed to work out a deal with the centre, it spanned four buildings which were renovated century homes and took children from two weeks to twelve years of age. They even had their own shuttle service to get the kids to and from school if necessary. It was actually pretty fantastic.
Though by the looks on the very grumpy faces of the children, they didn't care how good the centre was.
John had worked himself into a good pout. Mary had a red, wet face and still insisted she wasn't going to stay and Jasper was snivelling quietly and had buried his face in Castiel's shoulder after the angel retrieved him.
"They're never gonna let us bring them back again," Dean prophesised grimly.
"Have faith," Sam said ironically, his flinches almost down to clockwork now with each new wail. Other parents dropping their kids off were giving the three men very dark looks.
"First day," Dean explained with a disarming grin. "They've never been to daycare before." That softened up the one woman who looked like she was about to call CPS on them. She hustled her two children into the centre after that.
"Well Angel Boss Man, give your parting orders," Dean invited.
Castiel sighed and crouched in front of John, moving Jasper to balance on a knee. Or he tried to anyway, Jasper was grabby and clingy and wouldn't release Castiel's coat collar. Castiel settled for just talking to them like that.
"Boys, I am very serious when I say you are not – under any circumstances (unless they are life or death) – to use your angelic gifts. Do I make myself very clear?"
Jasper just clutched at Castiel's coat harder and John refused to answer.
"John Tabris," Castiel said sharply.
The boy stiffened his shoulders.
"Do I make myself clear?" Castiel asked.
"Yes, Sir," John said quietly.
"Jasper Samuel Balthazar? Do you understand?" Castiel turned slightly and softened his voice to address the toddler. Jasper sniffled and nodded.
Sam smiled shakily then took a deep breath before he finally managed to untangle himself from his five-year-old's vice-like grip. "Mary Jessica Winchester, that is quite enough of that behaviour. If I hear one word of this nonsense when we pick you up from Grampa Bobby's tomorrow I will be extremely disappointed in you. You will be on your best behaviour. Are we clear?"
"Yeah," Mary said quietly.
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that," Sam prompted.
"Yes, Daddy," Mary said a little louder.
"Better," Sam rose but he did pick her up again which she seemed to appreciate. She stopped crying in his ear and instead lay her head on his shoulder.
"All right, so I think they're all in different buildings," Sam reminded his brother and brother-in-law.
Dean fumbled in his pocket, then pulled out a piece of paper. "Yeah. Jass is in building two, Johnny in three and Mary's in one. Johnny and Jass are upstairs I think. Mary's down?"
Sam nodded. "Yeah, I think they're by the office."
"United front or split and meet back at the car?" Dean asked.
"I think we should separate. I don't think Jasper will easily be removed from us and John at the same time. If we walk John up to his room then he might think John is staying with him," Castiel suggested.
Dean nodded and since he had John at his side he considered taking their older boy to his room but then reluctantly conceded that Castiel was the better disciplinarian and if John decided to throw another fit Dean might just give up and beg Chuck to watch John after all. Bobby was busy with his own stuff until pick up time so he wasn't an option and Chuck was miles away. He was reachable but it would cause a detour.
Castiel clued in the same time Dean thought it and they traded children. Jasper fought it for a moment then Castiel said gently, "It's Daddy." The boy went without question and clung baby-monkey-tight to Dean burying his face against Dean's neck.
"Good luck, Little Brother," Dean said to Sam.
Sam rolled his eyes. "Yeah thanks."
Dean crouched. "Give me a kiss Johnny then go with Pop."
John grumbled but kissed Dean quickly on the cheek and hugged him just as fast, careful not to squish Jasper. Castiel took John's hand though the twelve-year-old started to hate having his hand held about two years ago, Castiel ignored the protests not quite trusting John enough not to run away. Castiel kissed Jasper's head then kissed Mary's and nodded like he was going into battle.
"Kiss, Baby Girl," Dean said. Mary pulled away from her father just long enough to press a kiss to Dean's cheek. Sam repeated the gestures with his nephews and headed off to Mary's building. Castiel following behind him to head to John's and Dean turned the opposite way.
"You have to be a good boy today, Jasper. Grampa Bobby will pick you up at four thirty. Okay? Then Daddy and Papa will pick you up from Grampa's tomorrow morning." Hopefully.
The centre knew that there was a possibility that Bobby would be dropping off the kids the next morning as well if 'work' kept them back. Dean was also careful not to mention John, knowing the minute he did Jasper's head and sharp blue eyes would whipping around in search of his brother. Apparently co-dependence was hereditary. Who knew? Dean winced internally. John and Jasper were a little better than he and Sam ever were though.
xx
When Dean entered, the room was a bustle of activity and had four women present to maintain the proper ratios that the government dictated. Dean was surprised when he found that out. One of the women came over with a smile. Dean couldn't for the life of him remember her name. But he was pretty sure she was in charge.
"Well hello there!" she said in a sweet voice. "Is this a new friend for us? And what's your name, Little Man?"
Jasper whimpered and clung tighter to Dean. He managed to catch some of Dean's short hair in his sticky fist. Dean winced and wasn't quite sure how his son managed that one. Maybe he needed a haircut.
"Sorry," Dean apologized. "He's a little ah… attached." Dean didn't want to say clingy, it didn't sound right.
"That's okay. This is Jasper, right? And you're ah… Castiel?" she hazarded a guess.
"Dean," he grinned.
"Sorry, two fathers and one uncle. It was explained to us a bit quickly," she apologized. "I'm Mandy."
Mandy, that was it! "No worries. Nice to meet you. Oh!" Dean shifted carefully and reached for the lunch bag he had slung over his shoulder. "Cas only lets him have organic so here you go. For snack. Cas said lunch would be fine though, as long as it isn't red meat. I personally would feed him the basics but I'm not the health nut." It was really that too much over-processed and hormone-laden food did something wonky to young angel grace. It was like an allergic reaction until they got a little older. With John, they found out the hard way. Dean joked that that they raised their first son on bacon grease and leftovers but in reality they had been very careful. Though Dean figured the whole angel allergy thing would be tricky to explain and had no interest in trying.
Mandy took the bag with a nod and put its contents in the small refrigerator before returning it to Dean.
"Think he's ready to go?" Mandy offered to take Jasper.
Dean hesitated, both over the fact that he was unsure just what Jasper would do and also over the incredibly terrifying fact that he had never put his children in the hands of a stranger before, regardless how well regulated, educated or qualified they were.
Dean tried. Jasper clung harder. Dean sighed, "Give me a moment."
Mandy nodded and stepped back.
Dean took Jasper over to the door and shifted the boy so he could murmur into his ear. He used the soft Enochian reassurances he had learned from Cas through a sixteen year partnership and having two children together. He remembered that Castiel explained part of the language was also expressing your emotion. He pushed trust and friend to Jasper along with safe and love. The walked back over to Mandy.
"I don't think I've heard that language before," the teacher said with a smile.
"His father's native tongue. I'm awful at it but sometimes it works," Dean shrugged. He carefully pried Jasper's hands off his shirt collar and handed him across the small space. Jasper whimpered reached out to Dean sent a seeking ribbon of grace. Dean gave the quick 'No angel' command in Enochian and Jasper pulled the grace back.
"It's okay, Jass. You'll have fun and meet lots of friends," Dean promised. "His grampa will be by to pick him up at four-thirty," Dean reminded Mandy. "If he gets really, really unruly and if it's possible, get his brother to come calm him down. It might be the only thing that works. Jasper's a good boy but this is completely unfamiliar to him. He's only ever been with his grandparents, us or his uncle."
"Don't worry, Dean, he's in good hands," Mandy promised.
Dean nodded but still didn't budge. He took Jasper back for just a second kissed him and cuddled him and said, "Love you, Jass." Then handed him back.
Mandy's smile was full of understanding and it followed Dean and Dean's big cloud of anxiety out the door and down the stairs. Everything in him demanded he go back and get his son but he fought it and almost ran to the Impala.
xx
Mary brought out the tears as soon as she realized she was going to be put down. The room was somewhat small with a handful of kids in it, but Sam knew that there was a larger playroom across the hall. This one was for table activities and reading. There were two fairly young women tending the children. One of them came over and greeted Sam with a smile.
"Hello, this must be Mary," she said.
"This sure is," Sam nodded. "Say 'hello,' Mary."
Mary did no such thing.
"I'm Miss Katie and over there is Miss Mags," Katie went on unfazed. "I promise you Mary, you're going to have a lot of fun in this room."
"Daddy! I don't wanna stay. Please take me to Grampa's," Mary sniffled, ignoring her new teacher.
"Grampa's busy, Mary. You can't stay with him," Sam said calmly.
"Then I wanna go to Uncle Chuck's!" Mary shouted.
"Uncle Chuck is out of the country. Now come on, Mary. You're a big girl," Sam went to pry Mary away from his neck but she clung on so tightly that he was afraid he'd hurt her if he tried to pull her off.
"I'll give you a minute," Katie said, she walked over to the other children who began to stare and redirected them to something else. Sam moved back out of the classroom and into the hallway. Mary relaxed thinking she was about to be taken home and Sam used the opportunity to put her down.
"Daddy, no!" Mary wailed. She refused to stand on her feet so Sam put her on her bum crouched down in front of her. She began to scream and cry in earnest and Sam knew the beginnings of a temper tantrum when he saw one. He wanted desperately to reach out and soothe his little girl but he knew that wouldn't help the situation.
"Mary," Sam said sternly. "You will stop right now. If you don't let Daddy go do his job, a lot of people are going to get hurt. Is that what you want?"
Mary hiccoughed and looked at her father, tears were still leaking out. "Don't abandon me, Daddy. I don't have a mommy, I can't not have a daddy."
Sam sighed. "Baby Girl, I'm not abandoning you. I'll never, ever abandon you. It's only for six hours. That's it. Just six hours then Grandpa is going to come pick you up and take you to his house. Some of these kids have to stay the whole entire day, but you get to leave early. Daddy and Uncles Dean and Cas have to do their work, Butterfly and we try really hard to be there for you all the time but it's too dangerous if we don't all go this time."
Mary was only sniffling now but she hadn't stood and she wouldn't look at her father. She stared at her little feet in their pink converse and played with the hem of her butterfly t-shirt. Sam waited patiently while she sat there and then eventually she pushed herself to her feet and took Sam's hand, walking back to the classroom.
She looked around until she found Katie and tugged on the hem of the woman's shirt.
Katie turned and waited.
"What kinds of things will we get to do, Miss Katie?"
"Lots and lots of things, Mary. There's a wonderful climber outside in a nice play yard and your dad packed you swim suit so we're going to get to go in the pool later. We have modeling clay craft today and you get to make anything you want. You'll also get to play with your new friends and listen to a nice story. Does that sound all right, Mary?"
Mary looked away then back at her father then at the teacher again. "Will the kids be mean to me? Sometimes at school they're mean to me."
Katie shook her head. "No Mary, they won't, I promise."
"Okay, I think I'm ready to stay now, Daddy," Mary told Sam. "You promise Grandpa's going to be here in six hours?"
"I promise."
"Swear?"
"Cross my heart."
"Okay," Mary nodded. She hugged Sam and kissed his cheek.
"Love you, Baby Girl. You be good."
Katie took Mary's hand and showed her where she could hang up her backpack.
Sam wanted to grab his girl and run but he just squared his shoulders and walked out of the room.
xx
John followed at Castiel's side in stony silence, the older angel tried to engage him but the boy kept refusing. Eventually, Castiel decided to just give up as they moved through the hallways. As they approached John's room, the noise level rose with the voices of rambunctious eleven and twelve year olds behind the door.
"Papa, I really don't want to go," John whispered quietly.
"I'm sorry, but you have to," Castiel replied gently. "You can't stay by yourself, John. Besides, even if you could, I want you here to look out for your brother and cousin. What if Jasper needs you later and you aren't here? Your father told them to get you if Jasper needed you."
"But—" John began.
They were right outside the door now but Castiel crouched and gently took his son's arms. "John, why is it you're so very upset about this? Please, I'd like to understand."
"You've never left us before," John whispered. "What if something happens?"
Castiel recoiled slightly, and blinked slowly. "You're afraid?"
"If all three of you need to go, that means it's dangerous, right?"
"I…" Castiel hesitated and then decided on the truth. "Yes, more dangerous than usual. It isn't the first time all three of us went though, John."
"But… It hasn't been for a while," John said.
"No, not for a while."
"What if you don't come back?"
"That isn't going to happen," Castiel vowed.
John searched his father's eyes. He saw the resolve there and he could believe it easily, but still he was afraid. He was in a strange place, away from everyone who could help and his parents and Uncle were going off to fight a threat that John didn't even know. He tried to be brave for his baby brother and cousin but he hated to have his parents out of his sight.
"I could help," John said suddenly, his little face firm with resolve. "I'm a pretty good shot and real good with my sword and I can fly and—"
"John," Castiel said firmly. "Under no circumstances would I or your father ever agree to putting you in harm's way like that. You're a child. A very brave and wonderful one, but you're still a child. We need you here where it's safe. Where you can look after your brother and cousin. Do you understand?"
Castiel felt both sick and touched that his little boy would offer to do something so brave and so grown-up. Yes, Dean and Sam had both been running into burning buildings when they were twelve (so to speak) but that did not mean that Castiel or Dean were about to let their son do the same. Mary Campbell may have done it, Dean and Sam may have done it, but their children would only do it over their dead bodies. If John and Jasper decided when they were older that they wanted to, then so be it. Castiel knew Sam felt the same way, but not now. Not yet.
"I understand, Papa. I just don't want anything to happen to you," John replied quietly.
"And nothing will," Castiel reassured. "Are you ready?"
John nodded.
Castiel nodded in return and rose to his feet. He gestured for John to go ahead and opened the door from over the boy's shoulder. John hesitated before he crossed the threshold but went in after Castiel gave him a gentle nudge.
A woman in her late twenties or early thirties came over with a smile. "Hello, is this John? I'm Miss Sara."
"Yes this is John and I'm his father, Cas."
"Good to meet you," Sara said genuinely. "You all set for your first day, John?"
John looked at Castiel and Castiel smiled encouragingly. John nodded and looked down at his toes.
"Good to hear," Sara smiled. "Now if you want to say goodbye to your dad, I'll just show you—"
"Sorry, Miss Sara, if I could just interrupt for a moment. My younger son is in one of the toddler rooms and my husband informed Jasper's educator to retrieve John if Jasper is particularly unsettled. Will that be a problem?"
Sara looked uncertain and then she shook her head. "No, it shouldn't be. A little unusual, but not a problem."
"Thank you, Jasper can be a handful but John had grown quite adept at calming him, you understand," Castiel offered.
Sara nodded. "I do. Was there anything else?"
Castiel shook his head. "No, I don't think so."
"All right, so John after you say goodbye I'll show you where you can put your backpack, sound good?"
John, still silent, merely nodded then turned to Castiel with big, sad, green eyes.
Castiel crouched again and pulled John into a hug. "I will see you later. I love you."
"Bye, Papa," John murmured against Castiel's shoulder, "love you, too."
Castiel kissed his son's dark brown hair then gave him a playful push in Sara's direction. He waved then stood and left the room. As soon as the door closed behind him, Castiel had to lean against it and take a few minutes to breathe. Both father and angel were rising up in him and demanded if he knew just what he was doing abandoning John in that room of strangers, but Castiel pushed it down and headed back to the Impala and Dean.
xx
The three Winchester men reached the Impala at about the same time and shared uncomfortable and guilty looks.
Dean was the first to speak, "Anyone else feel like the cops and CPS are going to come get us at any second for child abandonment?"
Castiel and Sam didn't answer verbally but they're expressions said it all.
"Good, not just me then," Dean sighed. "Let get this done so we can get back. God, this sucks."
xx
Two days later, Dean, Sam and Castiel walked into Bobby's, a little bruised, but no worse for wear. The hunt had proven to be somewhat challenging but they managed to clear it up in what they felt was record time.
"Hello!" Dean called out.
The three men heard the pitter-patter of little feet then three brightly grinning faces met them in the hallway. John had Jasper on his hip, Mary had a little clay model in her hand. They were immediately attacked in the best way with hugs from three very happy children.
"Was it so very terrible?" Castiel couldn't help but ask.
"What?" John asked, seemingly genuinely confused.
"Daycare," Sam supplied.
"Nah, it was actually kind of awesome," John grinned.
"It was so much fun!" Mary offered.
"I think even Jass had a great time," John added.
"Glad to hear it," Dean squeezed his boys tight relieved beyond belief to have them back in his arms. If he could help it – and Sam and Cas agreed – they'd never do that again.
"When can we go back?" John asked.
Then again, maybe they would.
End