A/N: Just a short Percy/Neville fic I wrote — mildly slashy. I think there's more to Percy than the straight-laced Head Boy, and Neville's a rather sweet chap.
A Different Kind Of Loneliness
Percy sat alone in the Gryffindor common room, dressed in his pyjamas, watching morosely as the dying embers glowed and faded in the fireplace. His whole body was aching and tired, but sleep eluded him as he rubbed his bleary eyes and sighed.
In his hand was a silvery, metallic object, and he held it so tightly that it left a circular imprint on the flesh of his palm when he finally released his grip. The shine was slightly dulled by his own fingerprints all over the badge, although he had just polished it earlier that night. Percy absently let his fingers run over the embossed words emblazoned across the silver badge, which proudly read, 'Head Boy'.
But right now, strangely enough, Percy felt no pride, just an exhaustion that wouldn't be eased by sleep. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall behind him, trying to get a few moments of elusive rest.
"Hello, Percy," came a soft, almost timid voice.
Percy started violently, his eyes flashing open. His head snapped in the direction of the quiet voice, and he saw a dim figure standing at the foot of the stairs leading to the boys' dormitory. It was Neville, who was also dressed in pyjamas — a blue and white striped variety. His feet were shod in fluffy slippers, and he offered Percy a tentative smile.
"Hi, Neville," Percy returned the greeting somewhat wearily. He shot Neville a stern look. "What are you doing up in the middle of the night?"
Neville grinned. "I was about to ask you the same question." He took a few steps closer to Percy and sat down on the floor, about a foot away.
"I can't sleep," Percy answered moodily. "How about you?"
Neville managed a wry smile. "Not many other reasons for one to be awake at two in the morning, are there?" His smile faded when he saw the glum expression on Percy's face. "What's wrong — anything bothering you?"
Percy cast a sidelong look at Neville — besides the fact that he was in the same year as his brother Ron, Percy didn't really know the other boy all that well. But there wasn't anyone else to talk with right now, and Percy reckoned that letting off some steam would do him good, so he shrugged and said, "Everything's bothering me."
Neville nodded sympathetically. "I'm sure it must be quite hectic for you — you know, being Head Boy and all. Congrats, by the way, on the appointment — never got round to congratulating you earlier." Neville hesitated for a moment, then said almost shyly, "I think you're doing a good job."
"You do?" Percy didn't look up, but kept fiddling with his Head Boy badge, turning it over and over again in his hands. "Well, that's good to hear, Neville, because almost everyone else doesn't think so."
"What do you mean?" Neville asked, looking concerned. "You're doing a fine job, Percy."
Percy shook his head ruefully. "Not according to McGonagall. I just got a telling off from her today because Fred and George planted a load of stink bombs in the Slytherin common room — they were supposed to be for Malfoy and his friends, I suppose, but instead they exploded when Snape walked in."
Neville stifled a grin, trying to get the hilarious mental image of Snape being engulfed in a pungent cloud of fumes out of his mind.
Percy sighed, then continued, "She said I should first try to get my own brothers under control, before I even think of keeping the rest of the school under wraps." He shook his head helplessly. "But they don't listen to me, Fred and George. They never have, not even back home, and now Ron isn't listening to me either, and Ginny..." he threw his hands up in the air, "this is hopeless."
"Fred and George are just having fun, you know, they don't mean any harm," Neville tried to point out, although he knew that was hardly a valid excuse for the wreckage they frequently caused.
"Having fun," Percy huffed. "It's all well and good if they have harmless fun, but their idea of fun always involves someone getting turned into a goose or a classroom being blown up. And who has to pick up the pieces after them and try to stammer out an explanation for their behaviour? Me."
"Why should you, actually?" Neville challenged reasonably. "If they get into trouble, they can jolly well talk their way out of it themselves. You don't have to cover for them all the time."
"Yes, I do," Percy argued. "They're my brothers, Neville. And that's what older brothers have to do, I suppose — be responsible for their younger brothers when they mess up, whether it's here or back home." He slumped back against the wall. "I tell you, the best years of my life were my first two years in Hogwarts... for once I didn't have to watch out for anyone, not them, not Ron or Ginny."
"Yeah, they don't know what they have," Neville said unexpectedly, with a shake of his head.
Percy shot him a curious look. "What do you mean?"
"Your brothers, and Ginny." Neville raised his eyes to meet Percy's. "They don't appreciate what they have, how — how secured it feels to have someone watching out for you all the time, who'd cover for you if you got into a fix." Neville smiled sadly. "I've never had anyone like that before — I've got no siblings, my parents..." his voice cracked slightly, "they're, well, away almost all the time. So probably the only person who gives a damn what happens to me is my grandmother, that's all."
Neville turned his face away from Percy, and looked at the fireplace instead; Percy didn't know if he was trying to hide tears. His expression softened, and he looked empathetically at Neville. Even though he was frustrated with his younger siblings, Percy still had a complete (and rather large) family to boast of — a dad who actually showed an interest in his schoolwork and grades, and a mum who never failed to send food and gifts every few weeks, as well as a hand-knitted sweater every Christmas.
But at the same time, Percy still felt terribly alone, despite being surrounded by family. It was another kind of solitariness, that of having so many people in your life, yet no one who actually understood you or was patient enough to listen to everything you wanted to say. That was how Percy felt — he didn't have anyone whom he could really talk to, who would care enough to listen to him pour out his feelings, his frustrations, his fears.
Finally Neville spoke again, his voice sounding rather tearful. "It's rather lonely, you know?" he said very quietly, still facing away from Percy. "To not have anyone badgering you, or nagging you — it might get rather irritating, all that bugging, but at least it shows that someone cares enough to make a fuss about what you do."
Percy got up slowly and inched closer to Neville, whose huddled figure was silhouetted against the shadows cast by the light from the fireplace. He stiffly put an arm around Neville's shoulder, patting him awkwardly, and the other boy did not withdraw from his touch.
"Yes," Percy answered pensively, speaking very softly, almost to himself. "It does get rather lonely sometimes, for me too." He paused thoughtfully. "It's a different kind of loneliness, but it feels the same way."
Then suddenly, without thinking of what he was doing, Percy leaned forward, tilted Neville's face toward his and kissed him on the lips.
Neville let out a soft gasp of surprise as Percy's mouth closed onto his, but didn't recoil; instead he subconsciously pressed forward, deeper into the kiss, feeling Percy's lips melting against his. He let his eyelids fall close, and suddenly everything felt warm and comfortable all around him, as he felt Percy's hands slide around his shoulder and pull him nearer.
When they finally broke apart, an eternal moment later, Neville opened his eyes, breathless. He glanced quickly at Percy, who had a wild expression of disbelief on his face.
"Neville, I'm —" Percy spluttered, looking aghast. "I'm sorry, I —"
This time, Neville took the initiative, and placed a finger over Percy's parted lips to silence his frantic words. "It's okay," he whispered soothingly, and Percy calmed down considerably, although he still looked very flustered. "That's all right — it was a wonderful kiss, by the way."
To Percy's surprise, Neville abruptly got to his feet and smoothed out his own rumpled pyjamas. Neville smiled down at Percy, who was staring up at him with an uncertain expression on his face.
"Don't let them get to you, Percy," Neville said quietly, lightly brushing back a few strands of Percy's red hair. "I think you're doing a wonderful job as Head Boy, and nothing anyone says is going to change that."
Before Percy could respond, Neville bent forward, lifted Percy's chin slightly upwards and kissed him hard on the lips, a firm but chaste kiss. Percy closed his eyes and savoured the moment almost desperately, before Neville finally pulled away.
"Thanks for the company, Perce," Neville said, with a sideways look and a coy smile as he turned away. "Goodnight."
Percy's breathing was still slightly laboured as he watched Neville shuffle across the common room toward the spiral staircase. At the foot of the stairs, Neville turned, and smiled at him once again. Then with a little wave, he started up the stairs and was gone.
A few moments later, Percy heard the door at the top of the stairs softly creak close, and then there was silence again, randomly punctuated by the crackling from the fireplace. But it was a different kind of stillness, a very satisfied, fulfilled sort of calm.
Percy smiled in spite of himself as he slowly got to his feet and padded toward his own dormitory. His mind still dwelled on Neville, and he recalled what they had talked about and how they had kissed, the taste of Neville's lips still lingering faintly on his own.
A different kind of loneliness, Percy mused thoughtfully, but perhaps the same kind of remedy.
~~~