"Son, it's dinner time, can we please take a bre-"
"Dad, we can't! This is a really important campaign! If you fail, you'll start a war among the shinobi nations!"
"Ok, fine, we'll finish this, then I'm starting dinner."
"Ok, so your team walks into a dark room. There's the information you need on the other side."
"We walk in and approach the informa - wait a minute. You know, I really don't trust you at this point. I'm rolling a perception check."
"You got a… wow. A nineteen. And your modifier is plus three, so you got twenty two. You realize too late that you've walked into an ambush. The door slams shut behind you."
"Damn it. Don't tell your mother I said that. Ok, so my options are… you know what, I'm tripping the ambush."
"What."
"I'm tripping the ambush."
"Ok then, so your other teammates are taken by surprise because you didn't think to warn them, Dad."
"Well, how many shiboni are there?"
"Shinobi. It's your four man squad versus twenty Kumo nin. You are quickly separated from your team, who are surrounded. You now have a choice: you can save your teammates, or you can get the desperately needed information in order to have the upper hand on a potential war."
"What will get me killed the fastest?"
"Dad."
"Kidding, kidding. I'll save my teammates, because of all that Will of Fire crap he believes in. I'm using the Fang against the Kuno-"
"Kumo."
"Kumo nin, and I rolled a…. nineteen."
"Combined with the four slashes you get, that killed a good handful of them."
"Great, are we almost done?"
"Dad."
"Ok, if I roll a few more times, I'm out of here, right?"
"Right."
"Sweet."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"So, I get back to Gonoha -"
"I'm starting to think you're doing this on purpose, Dad."
"I get back to Gonoha. What now?"
"Well, you critically failed the mission. Uh… everyone hates you for it, you're deep in disgrace, your son kind of hates you too because he's embarrassed about you because you kind of started a war, etc. What do you do now?"
"Well, I fall into a deep depression because a certain game master killed my wife and my son hates me, so I throw my Fang at the wall in a fit of rage."
"You're not going to kill yourself or anything to regain your honor?"
"I have an eight year old son; hell no."
"Ok, let me roll for that."
"Good."
"..."
"... I don't like your silence."
"You… kind of crit failed that and killed yourself."
"Wow. That's…"
"Yeah."
"Well, now I can get dinner together. Good game, son."
"If I hadn't rolled, I would think you crit failed that on purpose."
"Ninja magic no jutsu."
"Dad, just stop. You're embarrassing yourself."