If Megamind had really been ruling the city, as he'd always said he intended to do, the city might have been in better shape than it was. But he wasn't ruling it. He was just, from what Roxanne could tell, indulging in an over-sized crime spree. Confiscating art from the City Gallery. Vandalizing buildings and vehicles. Most recently, he'd helped himself to all the money in all the banks, forcing them to shut down.
This last one hit Roxanne personally, because it interfered with KMCP's ability to pay her. The station's management was issuing script to its employees, basically IOUs, to be redeemed when and if things ever got back to normal. Those stores that remained open were taking the script for now, but it was an open question how much longer that could continue, especially for those businesses such as the grocery stores and the power company, that bought goods from outside the city and therefore had to have actual money. Every business that could borrow from outside, was borrowing. That couldn't continue forever. In another month or two, the outside sources of credit would run dry, the vital services would begin to shut down, and people would begin to leave in earnest. In a year, this city could be practically a ghost town, occupied only by the few who couldn't get away or had nowhere to go, scavenging in the ruins. She wondered if the Evil Overlord, as he styled himself these days, would be one of them, or whether he would abandon the city once he'd ruined it.
She didn't know. She had once been foolish enough to think she knew Megamind, to think he was harmless and kind of incompetent under his intimidating facade. Then he had killed Metro Man and crowed over the corpse. It had been the most disturbing thing she'd ever seen. He'd been running rampant through the streets ever since, and it was anyone's guess whether the damage he'd done since was deliberate or whether he was like a four-year-old who'd gotten hold of a loaded gun and was firing it at random without understanding how dangerous it was.
She'd gone into the Metro Man Museum after her broadcast there, thinking that she would look up at the sculpted face on the giant statue of him and say these things, really vent her sorrow and frustration and fear, as she had occasionally vented to him in person. She would try to remember the soothing words he had said to her on those previous occasions, words like, Don't worry, Roxie. Wherever evil exists, good will always rise up to meet it. She hoped it would make her feel better. She had just gotten started on this when she heard another voice from the other side of the statue, a voice at once so familiar and so out of place that her first thought was It can't be. Not him. Not here.
Then she had to find the owner of the voice, to prove to herself that it wasn't Megamind, that he wouldn't come here of all places. She went around the statue just enough to barely glimpse one arm and one foot in dark clothing. It was loose fitting and the footwear looked like it might be some sort of clog, although actual clogs would make more noise, so this wasn't a typical Megamind costume, but then this was not a planned public appearance. Who knew what Megamind would wear when he wasn't terrorizing the city or in prison? Then whoever it was dodged away behind the statue. She called out again, moved faster, and the unknown figure fled from her. She actually broke into a run and chased the mysterious person all the way around the catwalk, when she heard that voice again, behind her this time, close and unmistakable.
"Ms. Ritchi!" She turned, startled. It was him. He was wearing a cape, holding part of the fabric in front of himself, hiding whatever else he was wearing. "You need to leave," he said. "Now."
"No!" she replied. "You can't just tell me to leave. I'll stay as -"
"Look down, Ms. Ritchi!" he almost shouted. She looked through the glass floor they were standing on.
Movement. The strange gliding movement of brainbots. And dark things, cylinders and rectangles, piled up around the base of the statue and studding the floor around it. "Those are explosives," continued Megamind. "If I'd known you were here, I'd have waited, but the detonator's been set. We have two minutes, thirty-seven seconds. The elevator, Ms. Ritchi."
She had to look around for it. The chase around the statue had left her disoriented. The nearest elevator was behind him. He watched her as she walked around him, turning so that he continued to face her. When she was beside him, he started to walk with her. They got in the elevator together.
By unspoken agreement they stood as far from each other as they could. Once again he adjusted the cape to hide his body from her. It made her notice what was below the cape, on his feet: not clogs, but bedroom slippers. Black bedroom slippers with little stubby bat wings sticking out and little slitted eyes. And the ends of the pant legs that she could see just above those slippers looked like pajama legs. He had come here to set explosives, to destroy the museum, in his nightclothes? The frivolous detail infuriated her.
"Why?" she asked him as the elevator started to move. "This is the last remembrance of him we have. Why destroy it?"
"Because I couldn't stand to look at it anymore." She'd had enough experience as an interviewer to recognize, and be startled by, the bitter tone in his voice.
"Regrets? You?"
"Regrets. Me. Here's an irony, if you like them: victory has turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life."
The door opened. He poked a blue hand - no gloves, she noticed - out of the cape and motioned her out ahead of him. On the way down the escalator, she digested this information. If an interviewee had started talking about regrets like this, the obvious question would have been whether this meant a new direction for him. But an ordinary interviewee would not be someone whose direction would affect her life. Regrets sounded good, but with Megamind there was no telling whether his new direction would be less destructive or more so. As they left the building, she started to ask anyway, but as she turned to him, he urged her on.
"Keep going. You should have some walls between you and the blast. Around the corner." So they kept going. Three steps around the corner, they stopped. "There," he said. "You can call your station now. If the helicopter is up, it might be able to get footage of the explosion. Goodnight, Ms. Ritchi." He started to turn away.
"Megamind, wait." He turned back to her. "Why did you save me?"
"Ms. Ritchi, in all our association, surely you've realized that it is not my intention ever to allow harm to come to you by my actions."
"If any harm had come to me and then Metro Man had accidentally-on-purpose dropped you from a hundred feet up while taking you to jail - I mean, he wouldn't have done that, he was a good guy - but if he had, there would have been no repercussions, for him or anyone else. Now you're the one facing no repercussions. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Why did you save me?"
"I love you," he said. "I thought you knew." He hadn't meant to say it, but he had thought that she, so observant, so intelligent, had at least guessed at the possibility. But no, as the astonishment blossomed on her face, he saw that the thought had never crossed her mind. Astonishment gave way to confusion. Suddenly he did not want to see whatever expression followed that confusion, whether disgust, horror, fury, offended dignity... no, he very much did not want to see it. He turned and fled back toward City Hall.
He was halfway there when the explosion lit him up, his cape flying up behind him, revealing that he was, in fact, wearing pajamas. She continued to watch as the glare died away, until she saw his little dark shape slip up the steps and in the double doors. Then she called the station manager. He destroys the museum, he saves my life, he says he loves me, and then he runs away. What's going on with him? she asked herself as she hung up. She thought of schoolgirl crushes, celebrity stalkers and then, for some reason, her gay cousin describing his first act after coming out to himself: he'd gone to the street where the Pride Center was and walked around and around the block, trying to work up the nerve to go in. It had taken him four afternoons. So it could be that this is something he doesn't want to feel because it's inconsistent with what he wants to be. Maybe he's saying to himself, "I'm a villain. I don't do love." Or maybe "I don't do humans." But he sounded like he'd come out to himself about this a long time ago. How long? How many of those kidnappings weren't about Metro Man at all? And then why, once the city was his, had he acted as if he'd forgotten about her, until now? Come on, Roxanne. This is too obvious. He's got to see love as a weakness, and he can't ever admit to having a weakness.
Less than an hour later she was being filmed again, speaking from the same spot where she'd stood for her earlier report, now surrounded by shattered glass and the broken fragments of the statue, telling the city what had just happened here. Looking past Hal, she saw, through the windows of the office that had been the Mayor's, a television screen showing her face, reporting live, with Megamind's head silhouetted against it. She finished, made the cut gesture, and the anchor man's face replaced hers on the screen.
"Roxie," said Hal. "You want a ride home?"
"Look, Hal," she said. "He's watching." Hal's gaze followed hers.
"Whoa," he said. "That feels weird."
"I'm going in there."
"What? Roxie, are you nuts? What if he kidnaps you again?"
"He said he would never hurt me, and that's one thing he's been consistent about over the years. I'm probably the only person in the city who's safe from him. I'm going in there and I'm going to ask him to not destroy the station. Don't follow me. He might get all weird if you're there. Just wait for me. Okay?"
"Okay, Roxie. I'll be here. Roxie, you sure you want to do this?"
"Someone has to. I can."
"Okay. If you, like, need help and you can't use your phone, break a window and I'll call for help."
"Thanks, Hal."
She went down the steps and crossed into the plaza. She had a moment of nervousness when a patrolling brainbot floated past as she went up the steps, but it ignored her. He probably programmed them to leave me alone unless he told them otherwise, so they wouldn't interfere during kidnappings. She opened the door. She could hear a commercial, one that KMCP News ran regularly.
"Megamind," she called out. There was a thump from inside. She knew he had a tendency to drop things and bump into things when he was startled. After a moment, she heard his voice.
"In here, Ms. Ritchi." She followed the sound forward into the dim foyer through the double doorway. The doors themselves were gone. On the big desk was a flat TV screen, facing away from her. As she watched, a blue hand moved it aside, revealing Megamind, sitting behind it. The room was lit only by the screen, but she could see stacks of money, paintings from the gallery, all kinds of loot. On the desk itself, along with more loot, were a long wooden plaque with spikes along the top, that she couldn't read because it was back-lit, and one of those plastic drinking bird things. As before, he was holding his cloak across his body, hiding it.
"To what do I own the honor?"
"I saw you watching."
"You know I'm a regular viewer."
"And you know that if you want to stay a regular viewer, the station has to keep broadcasting."
"Why wouldn't it?"
"There are certain things it needs. Electrical power, videotape, gas for the vans, spare parts for all the equipment, paper, toner, all kinds of things that come from outside the city. To get them the station has to buy them and for that it needs money. That money is in the bank and the bank is closed because you shut it down. Right now we're using credit, but credit has limits. Once we hit those limits, the station will have to shut down, too. Actually, everything will shut down because the supermarkets will run out of credit. They won't be able to get food to sell and if people can't buy food, they'll have to leave." She saw his eyes flick to her right. She glanced that way and saw a big dim shape which she recognized as Minion's mechanical body, although the fish himself wasn't visible. I'll bet Minion is the one who gets the food in. Did he mention something about pickings being slim? She kept speaking. "Maybe that's what you want, to make everybody leave the city, but I thought maybe you would miss the news."
He seemed to ponder this for a moment, staring into space. Then he rose.
"Very well," he said. "You didn't use what you know to humiliate me in the eyes of the whole city, so I will do as you request. Your cameraman is still out there, isn't he? In twenty minutes I shall make an announcement from here. Have him set up for it. I'll instruct the brainbots to let him through."
As soon as she was out of the building, he summoned a brainbot and told it that, for this one night only, the man accompanying Roxanne Ritchi was to be treated as she was treated. The brainbots were all networked wirelessly; to instruct one was to instruct them all. Then he went to Minion and pushed the sequence of buttons that powered up his suit. The castle rose with his henchfish in it. Minion blinked blearily, but didn't complain. He was used to being awakened at whatever hour inspiration happened to strike his blue boss.
"Yeah, sir, what's up?" He glanced out the window as he wriggled free of the castle. "What happened to the museum?"
"I destroyed it, but that's not what's up. I'm going to make an announcement to the city and I need you to help me get ready." He explained quickly about Roxanne's visit, the station, the banks.
"I dunno, sir. I mean, we're villains. Should we even be thinking about this?"
"I think it's time we did. It's our city now, after all. Shall I wear something that's here, or shall I have the brainbots fetch one of the more elaborate outfits from the lair?"
All the time that they were getting him ready, another train of thought rolled through his head. So this is the way she's going to play it. She's not going to mention what I said outside the museum, but she's already presuming on it. She came right into City Hall and... was that so bad? So what if all she did was discuss economics? She came. By choice. If I play this right, I might get her to come again. Perhaps every night. What would that be like, to see her every night, not on the news, but in person? It would be more than I ever dared hope for. What a difference her presence made! I feel like things are worth doing again. Maybe that's what I've been suffering from: a shortage of Vitamin R.
By the time Roxanne led Hal into the mayor's office, Megamind and Minion's body were both gone. Hal's eyes bulged at the sight of all the loot, but then he fell into tech mode, setting up lights and planning camera angles. Once the lights were on, they could see that the door frame was scorched and that the spiked sign on the desk said Megamind, Evil Overlord.
Five minutes before his stated announcement time, Megamind entered the mayor's office by a side door, wearing his usual tight black outfit with the blue lightning bolt up the front, black leather gloves with spiked cuffs, and a cape with a popped collar and a spiked black leather yoke. He was made up for the camera. Where does he get blue face powder? Sitting in the big swivel chair, he glanced around with a practiced eye.
"All set up?"
"Y-y-yeah," replied Hal, who had started shaking violently as soon as Megamind had come into the room.
The blue alien glared at him. "If you can't hold the camera steady, get a tripod."
Hal nodded and sprinted for the van, which he had driven up to the bottom of the stairs.
"Is that where you're going to stand to introduce me, Ms. Ritchi?" She was in front of the desk, near the left corner, more or less where Minion's body had stood when she'd first come in.
"If that's okay with you," she replied.
"It's fine."
Hal came back with the tripod, set it up, mounted the camera on it and aimed it at Roxanne. She took a breath and composed herself.
"Three, two, one," he said.
"This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting from City Hall. The Evil Overlord has an announcement to make." She looked at Megamind and the camera panned until it focused on the blue figure behind the desk.
"It is my will," he said, "that the banks should reopen and normal commerce should resume. Tomorrow morning by ten I expect an armored car from each of the banks to be here, with paperwork to show what it is entitled to. I do not expect any show of nerves, nor any impulses to foolish bravery, on the part of any drivers or guards aboard these vehicles. Furthermore, I am imposing a one-month ban on bank robberies to allow the economy to recover. Carry on with your lives. That is all." He made the 'cut' gesture.
Hal stood back. "Y-y-you want me to send this right from the van?"
"First, let me see it there," Megamind replied, pointing one black-gloved finger at the screen on the desk. Hal connected it with a patch cord and fiddled with knobs for a minute. The screen lit up Megamind's face. He didn't invite Roxanne or Hal to come around the desk to watch it with him, and they didn't quite dare ask. She wondered how the viewers, used to the wildly expressive pre-Overlord Megamind, would react to this calm and serious presentation.
When it ended, he said "Perfect. You may send it now. Ms. Ritchi," he continued while Hal detached the cord, picked up the camera and tripod as one piece and fled from the building. "Please see that all the bank presidents get personally notified of this, and I don't mean by leaving messages. Someone must speak to them in real time, even if it means rousting them out of bed." She nodded. "When do you expect to dine tomorrow?" The question was so unexpected that she had to think a moment.
"About seven-thirty, I guess. Why?"
"There's a very nice dining room on the second floor. I can have Minion make dinner. Would that be acceptable to you?"
"Dinner with you at seven-thirty tomorrow?"
"And Minion. We would like to talk more about the city."
"Um, okay. I'll, ah, I'll make sure these phone calls get made and I'll see you tomorrow night."
"Until then."
As soon as she was outside the building, she heaved a huge sigh of relief. Dinner with him and Minion. She had been afraid, for a second there, that he was going to initiate some kind of romantic pursuit. He might still do that, but he didn't seem to want to push it just yet.
Hal finished stowing the gear and slammed the rear door of the van.
"Well, Hal, we survived."
"Yeah, we survived. Let's get out of here, though, just to make sure. Those flying bear trap things make me nervous."
They got in the van. He didn't really relax until City Hall was out of sight. While he drove, she called their boss. He was ecstatic about the announcement. It had already run once, breaking in on regular programming. Now that KMCP had its scoop, he had made the decision to share it with the other local stations so that it would go out on every channel. She told him about the other part of the agreement, the one about calling the presidents of all the banks. There were two interns in the newsroom. He got them started looking up phone numbers and calling. He said she and Hal could call it a night.