I didn't know what time it was.
The moon had risen high into the night skies, and the stars glimmered in the vast expanse of the inky blackness. I had arisen from another fitful night of sleep, plagued my memories of a past I did not remember. A past that refused to stay longer than a few seconds after I woke. The frustration it granted me was more than I could handle at times, and in the precious, early hours of the morning, it caused a certain discomfort to settle upon me, a discomfort that stemmed from the pit of my stomach all the way to the tips of my fingers and toes.
My limbs shook; I stood outside my shop, a thin shawl wrapped around my shoulders as I felt the cool, night wind ruffle my hair. I longed for the warmth of my bed, the comfort of long arms draped around me protectively as Julian and I slept. Fate was cruel, indeed; when one of us managed to fall into a deep, comfortable slumber, the other was wracked with night terrors and insomnia, pulled from each other's embrace as we suffered restlessness. It was my turn, tonight. I watched Julian fall asleep, his head cradled in the crook of my neck, finding peace and comfort for the first time in god knows when. Eventually, I followed, but my sleep was plagued with horrors I couldn't remember, memories that refused to enlighten me to a past I had forgotten. I tossed, turned, and awoke with a start. Julian still slept soundly beside me, legs entangled with mine, and I was careful not to wake him as I slipped from the bed. He needed rest, and I didn't want to disturb that.
I sighed, leaning against the shop's walls. My eyes were fixed on the heavens, picking out constellations as Asra and I had done, ages before. It helped me relax, focusing on the starlight, and I could feel myself slowly ease, the shaking still there, but not nearly as prevalent. As long as it took, I would stay outside.
The slow creak of the shop's door startled me, and a cast a glance over my shoulder, watching as it swung inward. From within, stepped out Julian, hair disheveled, rubbing the sleep out of his good eyes as his long legs stumbled past the threshold. My lips pursed, moving from my position, and I reached out to him, hand touching his elbow to gently guide him out.
"What are you doing up?" I asked gently, lifting his arm to wrap around my shoulders. He blinked several times before his singular eye flickered to my golden gaze, concern edging along his features.
"Imagine my surprise, waking up alone in bed," he remarked with a heavy sigh, shoulders slouched. "Do I take up too much space? Snore too loudly? Perhaps I drooled all over your shoulder and you weren't having it."
I raised a brow as a impish grin curved his lips, and rolling my eyes, I huffed, hiding my face in the crook of his neck. "Of course not," I replied sleepily, grumpily. I ran my hand against his chest, fingers tracing circles over his cool, ivory skin. "Night terrors, you know?"
He relaxed at my touch, and his hand raised to take mine, pulling back to take a look at my face. Even in the darkness, the moon's light reflected enough to make out my expression–weary, frightened of the unknown–and a crease appeared between his brow, lips pouting at my fear.
"I know, better than I'd like to admit," he replied softly, all bravado he might have worn, dissipating from his countenance. "Do you remember what it was? Or another bastard that slips away, haunting you with memories of nothing?"
"The second one," I groaned helplessly, a hand pinching the bridge of my nose. "I didn't want to disturb you–you're finally getting sleep, I wanted to keep it that way."
Julian snorted, drawing my steely gaze to his face. "Athena, please, I don't drink as much coffee as I do in the morning because I like the flavor–which I do, but that's not the point. I've gone ages without proper sleep; one more night isn't going to break me, my dear."
"If you say so," I grunted straightening up. No matter how many times I looked into his eye, I would never be used to casting my gaze upward to meet his. It was refreshing, and with a weary grin, I raised my hand to drag my fingers along his jawline, drawing a pleased sigh from his lips.
After a moment, he took my hand into his, leading be backward into the shop, out of the coolness of the night, and back up the flight of stairs that led to the singular bed within. I wouldn't admit that having him out with me had relaxed me far more than counting the stars, and hearing his affirmation of staying with me in my darkest hours, even if he slept, did have my stomach churning happily.
"Have a seat, love," he murmured, and I obliged, growing sleepier at the warmth of the shop. I pulled my legs up onto the bed, tucking them under me, and my hand attempted to smooth down my crimson waves from their slightly windswept state. However, the bed sank beside me as Julian took a seat, and he captured my hands in his, drawing them to his lips.
"You're tired, Athena," he said, planting small, sweet kisses on my knuckles. I could feel a blush creeping onto my face, my cheeks tingling and I glanced away, rolling my eyes as the knowing chuckle which escaped Julian's lips. "Here, turn around," he continued, and with a huff, I obliged, turning my back to him. He drew me closer, pausing only to place a kiss on my cheek, and his hands began to run through my hair, long fingers running along my scalp, pulling a satisfied sigh from my lips.
"I find that running hands through my hair helps me relax," he murmured, pulling my hair back out of my face. "It's been so long, but it doesn't mean I can't do the same for you." Eyes flickering closed, I focused on the pleasing sensation his nimble fingers eased from my skin. I had hardly realized that I slumped heavily against his chest, my head resting on his shoulder. His arm crossed over me, continuing to run his hand through my hair, and the other found my hand, fingers entangling in mine comfortingly.
"This is nice," I mumbled wearily, angling my head so that my nose rested against his neck. A grin lifted my features before planting a small kiss at the base of his throat, and he shivered, though his hand refused to stop it's run through my wave locks. "This is really nice."
He chuckled softly, resting his jaw against my brow, and I listened to the steady, relaxed sound of his breathing while it lulled me into a relaxed stupor. Perhaps I was foolish in not waking him, perhaps not, but that he found my on his own volition, stressed in the dead of night, was heartwarming. Though I'd rather this not become a habit, it wouldn't bother me so much with Julian at my side.
"Thank you…"