Disclaimer: I do not now nor will I ever own Victorious or any of its characters so...
Tori's Coma – "Leave it All to Shine" Compliment
While looking in the mirror thinking about what to wear today I can't help but wonder: How did I get here? I remember staring into Beck's eyes begging him to spare André, then like a flash, a week of me being with Beck, and not André, has passed. And I could not be more miserable. Before I fell in love with André, I dreamt about what being with Beck would be like, and trust me the reality is nothing like the fantasy.
"Hey Tori!",Cat says in her normal perky voice as she walks down the hallway towards my locker…wait…locker…wasn't I just… "Tori, hey!" Cat exclaims again.
"Hey Cat, what's up?" I quickly shake off my thoughts.
"Nothing, just seeing how you're doing…so how are you doing?" she asks shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other. Though she won't directly admit it I know she's talking about the whole Beck/ André situation, everyone in our group knows, they especially know not to talk about it when more than one of us is around.
"I'm good…you know fine…everything's fine." I say in an unconvincing tone but she's knows that Beck will be here soon so it's best to keep from starting a conversation we both know we won't be able to finish. "Hey have you seen Beck yet?" I ask, mostly trying to change the subject while hoping he's nowhere near.
"Um, yeah, I saw him in Sikowitz's room talking to him…" She responds noticing the relief on my face when she assured me he wasn't on his way to my locker. After she finished we just stood there in silence uncomfortably for another minute or so until I decided to motivate her go do something other than stare at me.
"Hey Cat, why don't you go to your locker, get your stuff, then come back here and we can walk to class together, huh?" I ask hopefully.
"Yeah, that's I good idea, I'll be back in 5!" She says then proceeds to skip off down the hallway toward her locker leaving me with my thoughts. Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder and immediately think it's Beck and all I can think is: 'Didn't I tell him not to sneak up behind me?'
There's only one person that can touch me without startling me or giving me flashbacks and that's….Oh wait I haven't had a flashback since this person touched me so that can only mean one thing this must be….I turn around and discover the owner of the mystery hand is just who I knew it would be: André. I quickly look around the hallway before I bring him into a giant, but quick, bear hug. I try to put all the love that I have for him in it, but all I can really give is sadness at the fact that this, hugging André, something that feels so natural and right, is now forbidden and dangerous, for us both.
"Where is he?" He asks after, hesitantly, letting me go from the hug.
"I don't know." I can barely look at him without feeling like crying or kissing him or running away or telling him how much I love him or….Oh no, there's Beck; I quickly move an arm's length away from André. At first he gives me a questioning look but he's soon to understand my actions and puts on his normal 'we were only talking' face. This has become our norm, we try to get to school early enough to be with each other but when Beck comes around we have to go back to pretending like our feelings for each other have disappeared.
"Hey, hey people what's up?" Beck says as he stands by me and quickly throws his arm around my shoulders making me flinch and tense up a little. On instinct André made a fist but I gave him a small smile to assure him that I was fine and he calmed down a little.
"Nothing much man." André responded feigning happiness. Now you may be wondering: 'Tori how is it that you left André for Beck, to save André's life, and André and Beck are still friends?' Well I would tell you: 'Beck is a cruel and heartless jerk!' And you might continue by asking: 'Well, what do you mean?' I would respond: 'Well in order to remind me of the choice I made, why I made it and to keep a close eye on André to make sure he was "behaving" Beck insisted that we all, the entire group, continue our friendship like we're not being forced to be unhappy. Or in his words, "pretend like the past never happened" in other words 'pretend like Tori and André were never together and like I didn't threaten to kill him if she didn't date me'. So he makes us all sit together at lunch and talk and laugh and make believe everything is as it's suppose to be.'
"I'm going to….find Cat and go to class…I'll see you guys later." Is the last thing André says before he walks off toward Cat's locker. Before he turns the corner I see him look back at me and I know the smile on my face, however fake, breaks his heart because it's for Beck and not him. To be completely honest, all I think about is André, I put his head on Beck's shoulders all the time it's the only way I get through all this.
I hear the doorbell ring for a third time and I'm running down…the…stairs? Wait, what….the stairs….never mind, I open the door to see André standing there, this time without the bike, and I can't get my lips on his fast enough. He quickly wraps his arms around my waist as mine go around his neck. I can't physically handle not being in constant contact with him at this point. This is only the second time he's come over in the week that I've been with Beck, he'll normally just call or text or video chat me. We have to make sure our conversations won't be seen by Beck or anyone that will tell Beck. The last time he came over we just talked for hours about everything; we tried to focus on good things but found it hard since we couldn't do things that were normal for us.
Like we can't make out for fear that we'll go too far and he'll, unknowingly, leave a hickey on my neck, Beck would notice. Or even make love, something that we, not only enjoy as horny teenagers, but also as soul mates that bond through to act, cheesy as that may sound, it's true. I know what you're thinking and no I haven't had sex with Beck, I don't want to and even if I did, André told Beck he would kill him if he ever touched me like that.
We continue to kiss until we end up falling on the couch, our bodies and lips in constant contact. I can't think about anything else but the fact that André's here, with me, right now and the fact that I never want him to leave. When Beck kisses me, or even just touches me, I have horrible flashbacks to…that night and I flinch away or even start crying and he can't comfort me because it just makes it worse. I know he tries, but what did he really expect when he forced me to date him.
I'm lying on André's chest as we lay in my bed…what the hell? I quickly look down a note that we are both fully clothed and on top of the sheets…Thank God!
"What are we going to do?" I ask after I finish silently thanking God for not doing something I might regret, after totally loving it that is…I'm just saying.
"I don't know, I do know that I can't handle seeing you with him anymore…" He responds and I notice he's growing evidently angrier at the mere thought of me and Beck.
"Me either."
"…I mean if he touches you one more time I think I'm going to lose my mind."
"Calm down babe." I say as I start to rub his chest soothingly.
"I'm sorry, it's just, a week ago I was the only one allowed to touch you like that and now I have to watch and pretend that I'm happy for you two while he does what only I'm suppose to do with you."
"I know, I know, but that was the only way to save your life I just wanted you to be safe, I can't live without you, you know?"
"Yeah I know, I can't live without you either…" He trails off; possibly thinking about what it would be like if he did lose me that night. We once again spend hours talking about any and every thing.
Then every night for the next week, after Beck would leave, André would come over and we would be together, enjoying the fact that we had each other, if only for the night. But he was growing restless and tired of sneaking around, as was I, we couldn't be together one minute and the next not, it wasn't natural for us and keeping up the secret was wearing us out.
"Give me a kiss." Beck says as we stand in the café after lunch is over. I'm not sure how I missed the first part of the day but now my focus is on keeping Beck away from me.
"I'm really not in the mood Beck." I say hoping that will keep him from going any further.
"Tori you're my girlfriend and as my girlfriend you should do what I tell you…We're supposed to be in a relationship, a normal relationship that was your promise. You're not thinking about going back on your word are you, because if you go back on your word….then I'll go back on mine." He says the last part firmly in my ear and I know exactly what he means. He means if I stop acting like his girlfriend then he won't leave André alone anymore. "Now kiss me." I immediately lean up and try to give him a quick peck but he grabs the back of my head and makes me stay there. I try hard to fight back the tears because I have to remember why I'm doing this, why I'm going through all this, so I say: this is for André, in my head over and over again to keep from running away is.
The next week, in true André fashion….whoa…the next week…weren't we just laying on my bed….wasn't I just kissing Beck, how did two weeks pass so fast? Anyway… André once again shows up at my door, at 3 o'clock in the morning; he has his bike this time. I can't but to smile when I see him shirtless, with his grey sweatpants on, in my doorway, exhausted. I'm about to kiss him when he walks right past me and begins to talk.
"I've got the most perfect idea…." He says as he begins to pace back and forth in my living room. Instead of waiting for me to inevitably ask what it is he just continues, "We can run away together."
"What…run away? Where are we going to run away to?"
"That's the thing we can go anywhere we want as long as we're together."
"I don't know André; I mean I would love to, but…"
"But…but what?"
"…but…what about our families and our friends."
"You're my best friend and we can be each other's family."
"How are we going to get anywhere, we're just kids, we don't have any money."
"One, we're both 17 and I'll be 18 in two months and two, when my other grandmother died she left me all of her money, so all we have to do is go to the bank, then anywhere else but here. Look Tori I can't take it anymore, seeing you and him together, being afraid of that gang, having to pretend like this is all normal it's ridiculous. I just want to be with you and if that means leaving everything behind, then fine as long as I get you." I look down at my hand in his; he grabbed it during his little rant, and can't help but think that this, us running away, is the only way we can be together without all the fear.
How do you pack to run away? I mean is there an app for that; what to and not to bring when going on the run with the love of your life? Wait…something really weird is going on here…why do I keep losing time, I can only guess what's going to happen next…and cue doorbell. Ding Dong. Just like clockwork my doorbell rings, I run downstairs to answer it. André said he was just going to honk his horn when he was here but maybe he has to use the bathroom or something.
When I open the door I'm greeted by a familiar and frightening sight: a large gun point directly at my chest and the person at the other end is none other than my 'boyfriend' Beck Oliver… or is it the tall leader from the gang…I'm not sure but I don't think that matters too much anymore.
The only words I hear before the bullet pierces my chest are, "If I can't have you, no one can". Then my world is black. When I wake up I see all my friends, André, Cat, Robbie, Jade, Trina and Beck standing over me just smiling down at me. I black out and, when I wake again, Robbie and Jade have disappeared. Once again I black out and wake up, but this time, Cat and Trina disappear. Now it's only André, Beck and I, they both say one thing at the same time; "I love you", before they too disappear. The next thing I know I can't move and I don't remember why. All I know is that my… vision is getting… hazy and I'm… really….really…tired.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed...I got this idea in my humanities class randomly and I just had to write it...please go read Annaelle's "Leave it all to Shine" it's a really a great story...for those of you interested in my other story "WTF" don't worry I haven't forgot just a little writer's block but I'm back on track now and I should have the second chapter up by next weekend! Once again thanks for reading, if you don't understand it please PM me, and please, please, please review with anything...ideas for stories...opinions on my stories... CONSTRUCTIVE criticism! That is all have a great day!