What Am I To Do: A Naruto Self-Insert

by Sliksick

I don't know how, I don't know why, but it's too late to argue and figure it out. I somehow managed to get myself reborn as Naruto Uzamaki on the day the Kyūbi was sealed in him. Seeing no other alternative, I plan to take advantage of what I remember about the franchise and make my life as easy - and fun - as possible. Expect OC, AU, Crack, and everything in between.

1. How Did I Get Here?

I am going to go say this right now: I am not a dedicated Naruto fan. I don't particularly care about which honorifics have to be used and when. I am not going to go out of my way to voice the characters as closely as possible to the source material, so expect OC's for those who really care about this. I am writing this because I can and because I wanted to try my hand at a 'Self Insert.' So in short, expect there to be changes, expect there to be crack at times, and expect there to be AU. But most importantly, expect this story to get weird.

This piece is not for everyone. This is for me and me alone. If you like it – good. If you hate it – then just stay away. If I find you posting pointless reviews calling me who knows what, I will report you. If you leave reviews critiquing me and giving valid weaknesses of my story, I will accept them as they are and listen to your opinions.

You have been warned.

If you want to make suggestions, please PM me – this is crack so I will accept anything. Whether or not I use them is up to me and whether or not I can actually write it out.

---

Owww…

Why is it so loud…

So much noise…

Why is dark…

Why don't I remember anything…

Have to open my eyes…

Slowly, gathering my strength, I opened my eyes to see a horrifying sight in front me.

I was in some sort of crib, surrounded by candles during the middle of the night. I didn't have strong enough peripheral vision to see the rubble around me, but what was right in front of me was terrifying enough.

It was two adults, a woman with a man behind her, with a giant claw going through both their abdomens. The claw was an arm's reach away from me, dripping blood on my forehead, entering my eyes.

I noticed my body, nude and small. My fingers, tiny, still covered in afterbirth.

Was… was I just born?

I looked at the woman. She had blood-red hair, violet eyes of royalty, and was wearing a gown of sorts. The man behind her had azure eyes, blond spike hair, and wore some kind of ceremonial battle garb.

I noted the claw impelling them, connecting to the paw of a giant fox in the near distance, staring at them in anger, with chains binding him. I noted that they somehow attached to the woman in front of me, made of a material I couldn't grasp.

Finally, I noticed something even more frightening in the middle of them all.

Shinigami.

I don't know how I knew what it was. I don't know how I, as a baby, was even able to comprehend everything around me.

It took me a moment to realize that everything around me was frozen.

No… not frozen.

Leaves slowly moved, the blood dripped from the claw almost nonchalantly, and silence seemed to stretch indefinitely, an echo of something behind it all.

I focused back on the Shinigami. Its white kimono did nothing to hide its purple skin, red horns, and wild white hair. Its demented eyes stared at me, its head tilting despite the slowness of everything around me. It looked upon me like an owl on the ledge of a tree, and I mirrored, not understanding what was transpiring.

I noted something floating in front of the Shinigami, something that was vaguely humanoid. And yet, a fox head was sticking from its shoulder, with a knife right above where the Shinigami was going to cut it off.

"You should not be here."

I looked around, not understanding who was speaking.

"You should not be here."

I suddenly realized that it was the Shinigami speaking to me.

Its voice was terrifying.

It felt like the wind caressing your skin in the death of night, the cold shivering you to the bone, with the promise of terror on the very edge of your senses.

"Why… why shouldn't I be here?"

I tried to speak, but I could only think and hope that it reached the spirit.

"Your tama was not cleansed completely… your body and spirit have moved on… but your mind remains… that is not how it is supposed to be…"

"Tama… that's Japanese for 'soul.' But how do I know that?"

A sharp pain struck my head. I cringed as images flashed before my eyes, showing me things I couldn't recognize but somehow understood…

"Your tama should have been cleansed in the cycle of reincarnation. Perhaps the blood of the Kyūbi did something to you… It matters not… The soul of Minato Namikaze has been offered, and it shall be claimed…"

"Minato…"

The name finally clicked, and everything dropped into place.

"Cycle of Reincarnation… Kyūbi… Minato Namikaze… This is the world of 'Naruto'…"

I don't know how I knew all of this. It was as if I was reciting something from a book, or in this case, a manga. The words felt empty – even hollow.

But I knew about this world.

I knew what would transpire in years to come.

I knew what tonight – October 10th - was.

I knew who I was…

I knew who I was supposed to be.

"That makes that woman in front of me Kushina Uzumaki, which makes me Naruto… How do I know this…?"

As if answering my call, my mind flashed more images for me to see. As they progressed, knowledge entered my mind.

I suddenly remembered everything about the manga and all information peripheral to it. There were gaps to be sure, but the majority of still made sense to me.

Especially what was about to transpire.

"Minato is about to seal all of the Kyūbi's Yin chakra within himself, leaving me with the Yang, which negatively impacted Naruto's training and made dealing with Kurama almost impossible. It took the resurrection of his father during the Fourth Shinobi War for Naruto to become complete and use his powers as a Jinchūriki in its entirety."

I watched as the Shinigami slowly arched his hand back, knife ready to cleave. I turned to see that the toad summoned to hold the Seal Spell Key has already left, if the smoke was any indication. I stared at my hand – as tiny as it was – noticing that I could grab the claw in front of me.

"No… this will not be… I managed to retain this much… I know what will come… I shall not live that life… Naruto Namikaze-Uzumaki shall not be disadvantaged… this is my story to write, not his to live."

---

Kushina stared down at her newborn child, her love strong despite the sensation of life leaving her, almost overpowering her consciousness. Minato just dismissed his summon and told her that they didn't have much time before he finished sealing her in Naruto's seal.

"Don't be a picky eater… Eat a lot… and grow well… Make sure… to bathe every day… and stay warm… and… Don't stay up late… Get… Plenty of sleep… Plus… Make friends… You don't need tons… Okay…?! Just a few… that you can really trust…! And… Your Ma was bad at this… but study hard and learn your ninjutsu…!"

She kept talking, teaching and imparting as much as she could on her newborn as possible. It all slipped her mind in the last moments, her weakness was just too much, not recalling what she just said in the end.

Eventually, Minato took over.

"Naruto… My words to you as your father…. Is fit to your loquacious mother… I guess…"

He sensed the Shinigami preparing to cut his soul. The Nine-Tails continued to thrash behind him, not wanting to be sealed once more.

Peace was descending on both of them, their eyes slowly drifting to close themselves and move on.

That was until he saw his son open his eyes and grab the Nine-Tails claw with his hand.

The shock of this quickly awoke the two new parents, as did the sound of the Shinigami pausing. A glow seemed to come from the child, one that stretched from him, through the claw, passing through them both, all the way to the Nine-Tails behind them…

Minato turned his head, looking at the specter behind him.

"If this is what you truly desire… the exchange can be made…"

"Minato…" asked Kushina.

"I… I don't understand… I sealed part of the Kyūbi already… who is making the exchange?"

"The bargain is struck and finalized… I wait to see what you plan to do with this in the future…"

Minato felt the glow pull back, dragging the remaining half of the Kyūbi into his son. But before he could calm himself, he felt the other half within him get dragged in as well. Before he got a chance to complain, he felt something else leave him and enter his wife, as well as something exiting her and entering him.

Neither parent got a chance to ask what transpired when the Eight Trigram Seal formed on his son… and the Shinigami finished his slash.

---

Hiruzen and the ninja behind him quickly jumped into the clearing where the Kyūbi once stood. He didn't know what happened in the moments before the fox was sealed, but the shock he noticed on his successors face indicated that something went wrong.

As he looked around, one of his ANBU called him, "Sarutobi-sama, you have to see this."

Hiruzen approached the now dead couple laying on the ground. He quickly noted that each of them – Minato, Kushina, and Naruto – had a seal on their stomachs.

Quickly taking charge, he commanded his troops. "Everyone, gather the dead and look for survivors. Someone send a report to see which family heads are still alive and which were replaced – call them in for an emergency meeting immediately. As of this moment, everything that has transpired here is an S-rank secret, is that understood?"

"YES, SIR!" Shouted the ANBU around him.

One stood forward, "What should we tell the meeting is about?"

Hiruzen walked past them, lifting Naruto and covering him up, "Damage assessment, damage control, and me taking back my title."

"You mean…"

Hiruzen started walking away, "As of this moment, I am resuming my role as the Third Hokage. NOW MOVE OUT!"

---

It was still a sewer.

I honestly thought that since it was me and not Naruto that it would be something else. That, and it was believed that it was Naruto's abused life that led to such grim mental state.

I quickly noted that I was a flying orb of light since I couldn't feel my feet being wet due to the water below me.

I then quickly realized that I didn't know what I was supposed to look like.

It was all very disconcerting.

I had knowledge of things I wasn't supposed to know. I saw images of a life I had before, and yet I felt no attachment to in any way. I saw people who were once my friends, my family, my children, my wife and yet, I felt… nothing.

I don't even know how I am supposed to look like. In the place of where I would most likely be in my memories was just an empty void or white space.

All questions for later.

I slowly floated along the path in front of me. Eventually, I heard it – the sound of something getting up and observing it environment.

"Owww… my head… what hit me…"

"Huh, not what I expected to hear from the mighty Kyūbi."

I floated toward the bars at the end of the tunnel. I noted the tag with the kanji of 'seal' written on it, quickly recalling that the actual lock was behind it and the key was on the 'belly' of a frog summon.

I floated through the bars, my small form allowing me to do so, until I reached the bijū.

He was big.

No, he really was – the manga didn't do him justice.

Maybe it was because I managed to get both halves in me before the Shinigami finished, but still…

Otherwise, he was what I expected. Blood red eyes and dark orange-red fur, giant nine tails, human-shaped front paws, claws strong enough to destroy mountains – I assumed.

I floated above him until he finished rubbing his head and looked around. "Tch… what is it with my vessels? First, there was Mito and her never-ending void, then Kushina with her empty room and now this sewer! And worst, I have to deal with this until the kid comes and visits me in a few years."

"Or now. Do you have a preference for something else, Kyūbi?"

The fox quickly looked at the orb of light floating near his nose. He paused, almost as if waiting for his thought to catch up. He promptly snarled, "Who are you?"

I thought about this, "I guess for all intended purposes, I am Naruto Namikaze-Uzumaki, or rather, I am what was supposed to be Naruto Namikaze-Uzumaki."

The bijū's anger was quickly replaced by shock, followed by curiously, "What do you mean 'supposed' to be?"

"Based on what the Shinigami told me, my cleansing during reincarnation was incomplete. Now, what would you prefer your prison to be? I have enough presence of mind to make anything, but I would prefer your input."

"You… you are serious? Don't you know who I am, what I have done?"

I looked at the ground in thought, realizing that I didn't have a face or body to indicate such behavior. "I both do and don't. I have knowledge of what happened and why you were released, but I feel no connection to it like I should. I know that you were released by one called Obito Uchiha under the orders of Madara. I know that you were forced to destroy the village against your volition because you were commanded by the Sharingan. I know that you wanted to be left alone and yet were somehow dragged into the whole issue of balancing world powers through jinchūriki. Is there anything I missed?"

If the bijū could show even more surprise at this moment then before, he tried. Unfortunately, his brain failed. "Make it in a forest or something… Put a mountain somewhere for me to sleep in…"

I floated away, deciding to give him time to gather his thought about what I just said. Slowly, I began to force the environment around me to change. Gone where the walls and dank smell. Gradually, I formed a sky above my head. I created a large clearing that stretched for miles. In one corner I made a vast forest, in another, I made a mountain. In another corner, I made a sea of freshwater. The last corner I left alone for now, merely continuing the grassland I already formed in the center but with various flowers and the like.

Taking advantage of the confused bijū as he stared at his suddenly morphing prison, I raised the cage into the air and slowly bend it into a necklace that was once worn by the Sage of Six Paths. I somehow managed to put the lock behind the larger middle magatama – the how was still beyond me, but I carried on. I clasped the necklace around the fox's neck, destroying the mechanism to do so, leaving only the seal as the method of removal.

I figured he would try to rip it off immediately, but it seemed like the sight of his father's necklace shocked the bijū.

He stared at me, confusion evident, yet angry slowly creeping through his snarl, "What are you!? How did you know about this?"

"I know of it the same way I know that you and your siblings were once part of the Jūbi, which was the embodiment of Kaguya Ōtsutsuki merged with the God Tree, which was formed to reclaim the chakra of Hamura and Hagoromo, your father. I know it the same way I know your name… Kurama."

Silence.

Kurama actually fell down on the ground, the shock apparently too much for him. "Fa… Father? Is that you?"

"Oh Kami no! He is somewhere else, I think in another dimension, waiting for the reincarnations of Asura and Indra… which I guess won't be anytime soon since I replaced Asura."

"Replaced? Wait… you are a reincarnated soul?"

"Actually, if we are being precise, I am technically a cross-dimensional reincarnation… unless all realities are linked to one Ame and Yomi in an endless cycle of reincarnation and rebirth."

I noted that if anime-sweat tears where possible, one would be on top of Kurama's head right about now. The giant fox slowly crouched down to the ground, looking to where my eyes would be. "Well, I guess that makes things easier to understand. You just skipped one of the Saisei Haraes."

"The what?"

Kurama lifted himself up, sat down and crossed his arms, "Don't take my word for it, but what I understand from the religion in these parts, when a tama is prepared for reincarnation, it must be cleansed through the five Go Haraes before being sent down to the mortal plane. The Shi Harae to cleanse you of your death. The Karada Harae to remove your previous living shell. The Seishin Harae to detach you from all past attachments and possessions. The Maindo Harae to separate your from your past knowledge to not cloud your future decisions. Finally, there is the Tenji Harae, which one goes through to be born into the world."

I pondered this, "Based on that description, you think I somehow skipped the Maindo Harae since I still possess knowledge from my past life but no attachment to it nor my previous form."

Kurama nodded, "It would explain why you can talk with me like an adult and yet be a simple ball of chakra in front of me. Frankly, it's the first time I have seen such a thing."

"But that makes no sense… Shinto doesn't have these Haraes from what I can recall…"

Kurama raised a finger, "Different realities, different beliefs, different interpretations. If what you say is true, then the afterlife can be literally interpreted in any way possible. What I told you is what is believed in the Elemental Nations. Now, can you explain what you said earlier?"

I considered sugar coating the truth but figured honesty was the best policy here. "Do you have manga here?"

"Yes…" said Kurama worryingly, almost as if anticipating the direction of where the explanation was about to go.

"In my previous life, when I was a child, I read a manga called 'Naruto.' It was very popular during its time. It followed the life of one Naruto Uzumaki as he grew up in the Village Hidden in the Leaves and his journey to become a ninja."

"Oh, Kami…" sighed Kurama as he slapped his forehead.

"In all fairness, it's very possible that the mangaka was simply a seer who observed this reality or was reincarnated from an alternative form of this one."

Kurama peaked through one of his finger cracks, "I am afraid to ask, but I can only guess that is how you know my name and the formation of my siblings?"

"Indeed."

Kurama sighed, "Is it also why you currently don't fear me?"

"Actually, that is more to do with the fact you are complete. Granted, I was anticipating something much worse since you were depicted rather differently in the story, but I have a theory regarding that. In the manga, only your Yang was sealed inside Naruto. But since Yang was your primal and emotional nature, it was the actual container of all your negativity regarding your imprisonment and misuse rather by humans rather than your Yin as Minato expected – I am guessing. Because of this, Naruto could only access your power through strong negative emotions, mainly anger, rage, and pain. As he was a very happy child – albeit misguided and rather dense at times – that made the process very difficult and detrimental to him, as he didn't have your Yin half to pacify the corrosive effects of your chakra. Also, since you wouldn't cooperate with him, it took until the start of the Fourth Shinobi World War for you to cooperate with him. To avoid this, I managed to convince the Shinigami to seal both halves within me. Since you are whole, I believe that is the reason why you are coherent, cognizant, and in total control of your emotions and not a wild animal as it were. My knowledge of your past and such may have played a role to gain your trust, but I don't have the ability to determine that. Hence why you didn't outright dismiss my knowledge of you or the fact that I was a reincarnated soul from a different world."

Kurama sighed, "Makes sense. I know myself better than most so I can kind of guess how I would react in such a situation. I am a stubborn bastard on the best of days and hold grudges for centuries. What did you seal in your… I mean, Naruto's parents?"

"Each other's souls."

Kurama raised a brow, "Why?"

"I have my reasons."

"Does it have something to do with what happens later on?"

"Yes."

Kurama tapped his foot, "I can only assume that you're going to actively change certain events in the near future?"

I pondered this. "Under normal circumstances, I would avoid this since causing significant changes in the timeline would make my knowledge of the future worthless. However, since I already took in your Yin half from my father – boy that feels weird to say – I have already altered things. No, I plan to make significant changes to make my life and the life of others easier."

"Others?"

"I am going to live in this world till my passing. Just because I am not the Naruto Uzumaki that was supposed to be in this world, it doesn't mean that I can't live my life as a Naruto Uzumaki."

Kurama nodded his head, "Fair enough – better get used being called Naruto then. Anything specific you want to change?"

I recalled all my knowledge of the franchise, thinking about all the things that happened early on in Naruto's life. "In about 3 years and 3 months, the Hyūga Affair will happen, which will cause lasting damage to the clan that will take over a decade to heal. I don't care that it may end the war between Kumogakure and Konohagakure peacefully – I am doing this because it will affect my environment for the better if the clan is better off."

"Being a little critical and detached there, aren't you?"

"I may have a working understanding of the future, but I have no attachment to those it pertains, since I lack the capability to currently do so. I mean, sure, maybe I'll get to know them and form connections later on, but for now, I am considering my immediate future, not the village's."

Kurama nodded in understanding. The spirit in front of him was purely a mind aspect – no sprit or body to cloud its logical thought process. "What else?"

"The Uchiha Clan Downfall comes to mind."

This caught Kurama's attention as he was never a fan of the clan. "Downfall?"

"A better term is a massacre, but it was referred to as an incident instead by the Civilian Council. It all started after you were forced to attack the village. Konohagakure's leadership began to suspect that the Uchiha were behind the attack due to the Sharingan's ability to control you, so they were all placed under close surveillance in one section of the village. This mistrust and isolation from the rest of the village created feelings of ill-will amongst the Uchiha, and ultimately rekindled the hatred harbored towards the Senju-influenced government. As such, the Uchiha — led by Fugaku Uchiha — began planning a coup d'état to overthrow the Konoha leadership."

"So Indra's Curse of Hatred still lives on to this day."

"To be fair, Madara only recently passed on and is indirectly responsible for the massacre."

"HOW? What does it take to kill the guy!" shouted Kurama. If his math was right, Madara lived for well about a century.

"According to the manga, he was very prepared. After his death during his fight against Hashirama, a scheduled Izanagi activated sometime afterward, changing reality to bring him back to life in exchange for his right eye's vision. He left a copy in place of his real body and went into hiding with a mouthful of Hashirama's flesh that he transplanted into his wounds. It was not until decades later, towards the end of his life, that the cells awakened the Rinnegan, in the process restoring his right eye. With the Rinnegan, he was able to summon the Demonic Statue of the Outer Path, which he used to cultivate a mindless living clone of Hashirama from which he believed he had produced a White Zetsu Army."

Kurama tilted his head, "Zetsu? Izanagi?"

"Oh right, you don't know. Wow, this is going to get complicated real fast. Remember Kaguya?"

Kurama snarled. "Only from the stories my father told my siblings and me."

Oh right, he was made after the whole fiasco. "Well, before she was sealed away, she created Black Zetsu, a physical manifestation of her will. He would then approach Indra alone periodically, goading him with praises and curiosity towards Indra's true potential, even going so far as to say he could rival, if not surpass his father. When Hagoromo later named his younger son, Asura, as the new leader of Ninshū, Black Zetsu tempted Indra to go to war with his younger brother. He then decided that Indra's descendants, the Uchiha, would be the main cast of the shinobi history it was creating and also modified Hagoromo's tablet to claim that among other things, the Infinite Tsukuyomi would be the Uchiha's salvation. Over the centuries, it manipulated the two brothers' reincarnations in an attempt to get one to awaken the Rinnegan, and also recorded many events for Kaguya, including Madara Uchiha and Hashirama Senju's last fight at the Valley of the End."

"Oh, my Kami Kai."

"It gets worse. When Madara had seemingly created White Zetsu and its clone siblings, it was actually Black Zetsu pulling the transformed humans from Kaguya's Infinite Tsukuyomi out of the Demonic Statue of the Outer Path, merging them with the essence of the Hashirama plant clone Madara created to give them a diluted Wood Release. When Madara was on the verge of death, he believed he had created Black Zetsu by imbuing his will into half of White Zetsu, and that the complete Zetsu was partially his clone. Zetsu later accompanied Obito Uchiha to Amegakure to locate Nagato – an Uzamaki survivor - who had unknowingly been given Madara's Rinnegan as a child, and watched as Obito introduced himself as Madara Uchiha."

Kurama tilted his head, "Obito?"

I nodded – or moved up and down in the air – in response, "Obito Uchiha, the most un-Uchiha member since… ever. It relates all back to Madara. Over the years before and after getting the Rinengan, Madara had perfected his plan for peace in what he called the 'Eye of the Moon Plan.' The plan consisted of projecting the Infinite Tsukuyomi on the moon in order to trap the entire world in a dream, thus saving mankind from destroying itself but also at the price of robbing free will from the whole world. Whether or not he came up with it initially or was whispered it by Black is beyond the point.

As his years waned, Madara knew he couldn't complete his plans in the time he had left. So he transplanted his Rinnegan into a young Nagato without the boy's knowing, intending Nagato to someday use the eyes to restore Madara to life. If Nagato was to do this, however, Madara believed he would need an agent to act on his behalf and guide Nagato towards this ultimate goal. Madara waited, connecting himself to Demonic Statue to keep himself alive until someone could be found. He spent this time keeping a close eye on Konoha to find a suitable pawn to take his place.

During the Third Shinobi World War, Madara found a severely injured Obito Uchiha. He used Hashirama's cells to replace Obito's damaged extremities and placed a Forbidden Individual Curse Tag in Obito's heart as a fail-safe in case Obito ever turned against him. Until then, Madara began working towards corrupting Obito. He did this by having Kirigakure kidnap the girl Obito loved, Rin Nohara, and seal the Sanbi into her. He then manipulated events so that Rin would die at the hand of Obito's friend, Kakashi Hatake, while Obito watched. Driven to despair by this sight, Obito offered his services to Madara. He then divulged to Obito the history of the Sage of the Six Paths and the Jūbi, the details of his Eye of the Moon Plan, and various techniques that Obito would need moving forward. As a final act, he left behind Black Zetsu — who he believed at this point to be a manifestation of his will — to provide additional guidance to Obito in pursuit of this goal. With that, Madara disconnected from the Demonic Statue and, with his dying breath, entrusted Obito with his name."

Kurama's eyes bulged, "Wait…"

"Yes – Obito was both the one who controlled you and killed off most of the Uchiha during the massacre – all in Madara's name."

Kurama rubbed his eyes, "Anything else I should know regarding what basically comes to the entirety of the Uchiha history being puppets on strings?"

"Good analogy. Well, there's also two White Zetsu of interest, one fused to Obito called Tobi and the other fused with Black, but that's neither here nor there. Let me get back to the massacre."

Kurama rubbed his temple, waving his hand in a wave motion to go on.

"In preparation for the coup, the Uchiha started inserting its member within Konoha's command structure to act as spies. Itachi Uchiha was placed in the ANBU, the direct arm of the Hokage. However, Itachi did not agree with the Uchiha's plans, believing the coup would only escalate into another Shinobi World War."

"Huh, I could have told you that. The boy was always near Mikoto who was friends with Kushina, so I know he didn't have it in him – he was a pacifist at his core."

This got my attention, "You knew what was happening outside of your seal?"

"It was tricky at times but yes. I can only assume you will give me greater access to the outside world?"

"Among other things. Now, back to Itachi. Due to his beliefs, he turned double-agent, providing Konoha with information on the Uchiha's plans. Hiruzen, who did not agree with the treatment of the Uchiha following your attack on the village, tried to find a peaceful resolution with the clan. Danzō Shimura, however, did not believe negotiations would solve anything and felt eliminating all the Uchiha would cause the least bloodshed."

"Oh for Kami's sake, HE got involved too? Wasn't trying to manipulate Kushina in the ANBU not enough?"

"Wait, Kushina Uzumaki was an ANBU? Since when?"

This actually got Kurama curious, "Was she not in the manga? Odd. She wasn't in it for long since Danzō kept trying to get his claws into her to put her in Root, but Hiruzen and then Minato got him to back off. She still left ANBU and began using her Fūinjutsu skills to benefit the village. Anything I need to know about Danzō?"

"It will come up. Now, where was I? Oh right. The Uchiha noticed Itachi's strange behavior and tasked Shisui Uchiha with keeping an eye on him. Shisui, a close friend of Itachi, shared his opposition to the coup. When peace talks started to break down due to Obito's interference, Shisui attempted to use his Mangekyō Sharingan's Kotoamatsukami to force the Uchiha's leaders to change their minds. Danzō felt this was a waste of Kotoamatsukami's rare usage and took Shisui's right eye for himself before Shisui had a chance to use it. Having failed and fearful that Danzō would take his other eye, Shisui entrusted his left eye to Itachi before committing suicide, in turn activating Itachi's Mangekyō Sharingan. After finding his body, the Uchiha believed Shisui had, in fact, been murdered by Itachi and the suicide was staged, and, as such, no longer trusted him. Again, whether or not this was due to Obito's manipulations is beyond my knowledge."

"You keep mentioning a lot of abilities of the Sharingan I never heard of, kid. Give me some context."

"First, I am not a kid – I was a grandfather before I died. Anyway, different Uchiha's had different specific focuses to their Mangekyō Sharingan, usually relating as to what activated them. But there are two abilities that could be activated by any Uchiha even in its basic form at the cost of one eye. Izanami traps the victim in an infinite loop disregarding the target's five senses, specifically designed as a reprimand for those who would abuse Izanagi. Izanagi allows the user to warp reality for a short time, changing reality into illusion and illusion into reality, thus escaping death and rewriting destiny."

Kurama whistled, "Damn, Izanagi seems like the more dangerous one of the kinjutsu."

"So did Danzō, which is why he had Orochimaru transplant an arm with several Sharingan implanted in it, along with Hashirama's cells he had in storage to activate them in time of need. Thankfully, he only gets the arm sometime after Orochimaru becomes a missing-nin but before he gets Shisui's eye, so there's a grace period there."

Kurama's jaw dropped, "His left arm cast? I am really missing a lot here if he is somehow working with Orochimaru. He also put in Shino's eye… what did you call the ability?"

"Kotoamatsukami. I don't know if it was specific to Shisui or not, but I do know that Danzō used it to manipulate the Civilian and Ninja Council, as well as most likely influence Hiruzen's decisions when he got it. The technique allows the user to enter the mind of any individual within their field of view, and manipulate them by giving them false experiences, making it seem as if they were doing things of their own free will. Thankfully, Shisui didn't have it in him to abuse it, and his devotion to the village was greater than to the clan. If I get the chance, I am making sure he stays alive – no one else ever had the ability, so I think he was a unique case. Are you aware of the Sharingan's other forms and abilities?"

Kurama started counting off his fingers, "Well there is the Mangekyō and the Eternal variant. There's the Tsukuyomi, Amaterasu, and the Susanoo. Anything I am missing here?"

"The ability to read and decode the Uchiha Clan's Stone Tablet?"

"Didn't you say that it was altered?"

I shook myself side to side, "Only the Sharingan parts. Obito didn't know this, but the Rinnegan part wasn't affected by the alteration by Black Zetsu, so the truth is still written there. Back to the massacre. Although he still wanted to find a non-violent solution, Shisui's death convinced Itachi that events could no longer be stopped, so he became outwardly critical of the clan's actions and hostile towards individual members. Danzō, aware of Itachi's conflicted feelings, explained the two possible outcomes. Either the Uchiha could be allowed to carry out their coup, an act that would ultimately lead to the entire clan's extermination, including his brother, or Itachi could assassinate the Uchiha before the coup took place, and in exchange would be allowed to spare Sasuke's life. Guess which option he chose? I'll give you three guesses, and two don't count."

"He was given an impossible choice."

"I do not question it, I am only retelling what I know. Before carrying out the massacre, Itachi found Tobi - the name Obito went by - sneaking around the village. Believing he was the real Madara Uchiha bent on destroying Konoha, Itachi offered to help him take revenge against the Uchiha for betraying him decades earlier if he would spare the village. Tobi agreed to this; however, Tobi also met with Danzō around the same time for unknown purposes – I can only assume that it related to the eyes Danzō had implanted in his arm somehow."

"Makes sense – mangaka can't write everything or have access to all that transpired, so its guesswork."

I nodded in agreement. "In a single night, Itachi and Tobi slaughtered the entire Uchiha clan, Tobi the military portion and Itachi the civilian portion. Itachi expected Fugaku to be the greatest enemy and entered his home with great caution but to his complete surprise, both his parents were willing to accept death rather than fight their son. Both respected his decision to side with the village over the clan and asked only that he look after Sasuke. He tearfully killed them just before Sasuke returned home from the Academy. Although he knew his actions were necessary, Itachi could not forgive himself for killing his own family and believed he had to be punished. Sasuke, a child at the time and thus ignorant of the Uchiha's conspiracies, was the only person qualified to pass judgment on Itachi he felt he deserved. As such, Itachi attacked Sasuke when he entered the house, desperate to make Sasuke believe he had killed their clan without provocation and for selfish pursuits of power. He used Tsukuyomi to torment Sasuke with images of the clan's murder and claimed Sasuke was too weak to even bother killing. Itachi encouraged Sasuke to embrace hatred and vengeance in order to get stronger and to come after and kill him to avenge their family. Unfortunately, since at this point the real Madara has passed on, Sasuke became Indra's reincarnation. Neither Obito nor Black Zetsu were aware of this. The mental trauma pushed the Curse of Hatred on the boy too soon."

Kurama could guess where this was going. "How bad was it?"

"Let's put it this way – he became Orochimaru's willing disciple, absorbed him at some point, killed Danzō, interrupted a Kage meeting… You know what, he basically changed sides five times before getting involved in the Fourth Shinobi World War in a span of three to four years. He was messed up, okay?"

Kurama breathed out, "Go on."

"Itachi reported the mission's success to the Third Hokage. The Third, having been unaware of Itachi's assignment from Danzō, regretted to hear the news. With nothing to be done about it now, the Third promised to perpetuate the cover story that Itachi had acted alone and without cause so that nobody would learn of the Uchiha's plans, and also so that Konoha would not be tarnished for its involvement. Most important to Itachi, the Third vowed to keep Sasuke safe from Danzō. The Third also ordered the dissolution of Danzō's Root and his removal from the council as punishment for acting without his permission. The removal stuck, but Root just went further underground – whether or not Hiruzen was aware of this was never really specified. Itachi then left the village, joining the Akatsuki to reinforce his image as a criminal. In actuality, he monitored Akatsuki from the inside, reporting directly to Jiraiya, keeping Konoha informed of its actions and preventing the organization from moving against the village. Itachi also threatened to reveal all of Konoha's confidential information to foreign forces should Danzō bring harm to Sasuke. He maintained the charade to his death by Sasuke, although his sickness would have killed him anyway. Unfortunately, since Obito managed to twist the truth of what happened on the day of the massacre when he was telling it to Sasuke…"

"Yeah, yeah, he brainwashed Sasuke some more, I get it. But damn, if there was a more honorable and loyal shinobi in history, one doesn't come to mind."

"I intend to make sure that it doesn't come to that. The problem here is carrying out the changes."

"How so?"

"For one thing, I don't know when it happens. I know it occurred after Naruto started the Academy but before he graduated. That's a rather big window. I mean, I can maybe remove two years since Sasuke was an emo for a while at that point, but that still gives me a range from 6 to 10 years old. In all fairness, I want to say 10 since at that point Itachi would be 15, more than old enough."

Kurama nodded in understanding,"So the execution is the problem here?"

"Indeed. I only suspect Obito's involvement in instigating the coup, like I suspect that Danzō somehow constantly reminded the village of Naruto's – or I guess, my – roll in your attack upon the village. I mean seriously, hatred just doesn't last that long without rekindling the embers – unless you are an Uchiha."

"Wouldn't be outside of the realm of possibility. Be an easy way to break you down and force you into Root."

"Thought the same thing. In any case, I have to do it without raising Obito's suspension nor get caught by Danzō doing it. I have something in mind, but it's a stretch at best."

"We will strategize later and plan something. Anything else you need to do?"

"Ummm… Nothing comes to mind."

"Speaking of which, how are you so easily able to recall all of this?"

This gave me pause. "The only theory that comes to mind that since I am all that is left of my purification, without the soul and body to hinder me, I have perfect recall – for now at least. I don't know what will happen as I merge with the infant's tama and become diluted."

Kurama frowned, "That is worrisome. We have to ensure that your knowledge doesn't go to waste. Even if you change the timeline, you have access to information not available elsewhere. This means that we have three years to plan out. Anything else?"

I checked all the information I had about the 'Naruto' Universe, eventually coming to a decision. "I need you to leak more of your chakra into my system."

Kurama raised a brow, "Pardon?"

"Before, Naruto had only your Yang to work with, and he had issues because of it. Granted, he wasn't the brightest of kids, but still – I am working with everything here. Plus, I doubt a normal three year old will have the physical capabilities necessary to save a child from a kidnapping."

"Ah, so you want me to jumpstart your development."

"Only enough to get me physically capable of carrying it out. It's not like you will have an issue with this – I am going to give you free access to my senses and chakra coils, and you can make sure I don't die from chakra poisoning."

Kurama thought it other, "It should be easy enough. The process will make it less difficult for you to use my chakra in the future, plus it may give you better chakra control over all. However, you realize that such a process will… alter you?"

"Doesn'tmatter: Hiruzen will make sure I stay safe, and Danzō will still find a way to screw me over. I can only hope that the changes I make prevent the worse of it. Plus, Kakashi and the other ANBU will protect me."

Kurama chuckled, "So you have it all figured out, don't ya?"

"Not really – I am ball-parking it since I have been alive for literally an hour at best."

That caused Kurama to laugh, "Well alright then. Let's get started."

Kurama got his hands – paws? – in a ram seal and started to push out his chakra into the air. I sighed – however best I could – realizing that I basically gave a bijū free-reign to alter his container as best he sees fit. I knew that Naruto was basically me now, but I guess I still haven't really built the association in my mind. Honestly, I just hope this doesn't have any other far-reaching consequences.

---

A few days later…

Hiruzen sat at his table, finishing up paperwork that only days ago was being handled by his successor.

He looked out the window, noting that despite the sunny day and the rebuilding currently happening outside, there was a dark miasma in the air, a feeling of sorrow and dread, with tones of anger.

The funerals took days to complete, with Minato and Kushina buried in the end with the entire village in attendance. In fairness, they were barely separately as only a few knew that they were married in secret, but they were buried next to each other. They didn't know why both of them had seals on them, but Hiruzen managed to make it an S-class secret anyway. Only a few people knew that they even had them, as the morticians managed to cover it up with make-up and dark clothes.

He sighed, thinking about the Council Meeting that took place later between the Civilian and Ninja Heads; he could have handled it better. Despite strongly stating that Naruto was the Kyūbi's jailer and not the fox itself, the civilians ignored it all. The fools – they worked with ninjas for a living and yet they couldn't distinguish a kunai from a storage scroll.

Keeping Naruto's heritage hidden made it more difficult, but Hiruzen suspected that some clans knew. The Uchiha's undoubtedly since Mikoto was friends with Kushina. The Nara's will figure it out soon enough, which means the heads of Akimichi and Yamanaka will know as well. The Inuzuka's will smell it out one way or another, and the Aburame's bugs will detect the chakra similarities to the Fourth, who they owe their allegiance to for showing the village their usefulness. True, there were other smaller clans in the village, but only the most powerful represented the ninja populace as a whole in the meetings, so Hiruzen had nothing to worry about.

All he really had to deal with was the people of his village not killing Naruto in their hatred and ignorance of the given.

His first assassination attempt actually took place at the meeting where his status as a jinchūriki was revealed; a civilian head who lost his family to the Kyūbi attack jumped right up to the podium with a kunai. Thankfully, an ANBU stopped him. It's been days since then, and the civilians were calling for the infants head. The ninja were less outspoken, but Hiruzen knew that there were those among them who wanted to do the same. Ninja's they were, but victims of tragedy they were as well – grief blinds those of the truth in even the best of circumstances.

Hiruzen was so deep in thought that he missed his window opening up – the three ANBU hidden in his office didn't. They stopped as soon as they noticed the kanji with 'oil' written on the intruder's headband.

"Is it true, Sensei? Is it true what I heard about Minato? Is he…"

Hiruzen lowered his head, "I am afraid it is Jiraiya… Minato and Kushina are no more."

Tears started to form on the edges of Jiraiya eyes, which he quickly wiped away. "And… what of my godson? Is Naruto…?"

"I am afraid that is he is the new jinchūriki of the Kyūbi."

Jiraiya became serious, "And you summoned me to make sure that the information regarding his heritage and role didn't reach the ears of the other villages."

"That was one of the reasons why I called you. However, something… unusual… was discovered recently regarding Naruto."

Jiraiya panicked, "What's wrong with Naruto, Sensei?"

Hiruzen pointed to the crib in the corner of the room, "Perhaps you should see yourself. This was the only secure place I trusted with his well-being."

The Toad Sage walked over and looked down into the crib, noting the sleeping infant. Jiraiya smiled; he had his father's hair but his mother's face. The whisker marks were going to be a problem to explain but would definitely make him a babe-magnet in the future. His claws were going to be an issue…Wait…claws?

Jiraiya noted the hands. The nails were a little sharper than usual. Going on a hunch, he gently lifted the edge of Naruto's lips, finding a small fang growing on one side.

He slowly turned to his Sensei, who nodded in understanding. "We checked the seal twice before you arrived – there is no error, and the leakage is just as designed for the Eight Trigrams Seal by Minato and Kushina."

"But… but… he is a newborn! They are supposed to start teething at 6 months, not a week after birth!"

Hiruzen agreed, balancing his head on a pedestal made with his hands, "The claws and fangs can be explained away – the Inuzuka's have similar traits as well. Unfortunately, we can't risk that with Naruto, especially since I was forced to implement the law regarding his identity as a jinchūriki."

"That law is going to cause more trouble than its worth."

"It is the only way I could keep him safe without disclosing his identity as Minato's son."

Jiraiya sighed in understanding as he lifted Naruto's shirt and started analyzing the seal. After a few minutes, he put the shirt down. "I am sorry to say this Sensei, but the seal is flawless. There are no errors, no deviations, no alterations – nothing. The Kyūbi is securely sealed within Naruto."

"And yet, the fox seems to be influencing the boy's physical development – something I have never seen before or heard in any other jinchūriki."

Jiraiya crossed his arms, "To be fair, I heard that the Gobi and Yonbi in Iwagakure were rather large individuals – could that have anything to do with it?"

Hiruzen closed his eyes, "Well… the body would need to compensate for larger chakra coils with a stronger body but still…"

"Consider this," pointed out Jiraiya, "Kushina was sealed with the Kyūbi when she was already a small child – well past the age of development, like other jinchūriki as well. Plus, her seal was different from Naruto's. Maybe the combination of both factors is causing this?"

"I considered this in private while the clan heads were debating about who would take him in. Unfortunately, the medics and researchers I could trust couldn't discern anything."

"I can only assume that no clan is going to take the boy in due to the power imbalance it would cause?"

"Yes. The Aburame were rather… vocal in their displeasure regarding this despite understanding the circumstances involved."

"Can you blame them? It was Minato who managed to convince the ANBU and the Tracking-nin in their Kikaichū usefulness besides poisons and silk, expediting their acceptance as a major clan of Kohona into the Council."

Hiruzen chuckled, "Don't remind me; the Inuzuka heads still give me crap regarding that – said something about 'interfering with their turf.'"

Jiraiya smiled before becoming serious once more, "So what exactly do you want me to do?"

"I want you to find Tsunade and bring her back. She is the only one who I can possibly trust to analyze and tell us what's wrong with the child."

Jiraiya whistled, "That is one tall order. Hell, running interference with my spy network would probably be easier than dragging her back here."

"I know, but not even she is stubborn enough to ignore a child in need – especially Kushina's."

Jiraiya looked back and the child twisting in his sleep, ignorant of the troubles that will soon follow him. "I want to be involved in his life, Sensei."

Hiruzen sharply glared at his former student, "You know I can't allow that. Everyone knows how close you were to Minato – they will start to suspect something."

"But I am the village's only seal master! Can you spin a story that I come around to make sure the seal works and isn't going to release the Kyūbi?"

"That will only reinforce the civilians believe that he is the fox reincarnated. We may hope the best in people, but even I doubt such hatred will ever go away so easily."

Noting his student depression, Hiruzen threw him a bone, "That doesn't mean you can't be involved at all. You will just have to be careful about it."

Jiraiya smiled, "I guess that's already better than nothing. Any leads regarding the runaway Sannin?"

Hiruzen shifted through some paperwork, "The last sighting of her occurred in Tanzaku Quarters just a day ago."

Jiraiya smiled, "Then we are in luck – a poker tournament starts there in two days' time, meaning that is she going to be there for a while, more than enough for me to get there before she has a chance to lose big."

Jiraiya was just about to jump out the window for his task when he looked back, "I am allowed room for negotiation?"

Hiruzen sighed, "Just remember that we are rebuilding – we don't have money to cover her debts to force her to come back."

"Oh don't worry, I have something in mind to force her hand. Just make sure that Naruto is kept safe for now. I don't want him ending up in some random orphanage before I make sure to vet the staff."

Hiruzen looked in Jiraiya in aww, "You are taking your role as godfather much more seriously than I expected."

"It's true – I thought I would wallow in pain since his face would remind me too much of Minato to not bring up memories. But… if his changes persist, then it would be impossible to hide the villages' ire from him. I mean whiskers are one thing but fangs and claws? What if he gets pointed ears and slitted eyes? No, that will fuel the civilian's assumptions too much for me to work just from the sidelines to prevent information regarding him leaking out or his possible assassination. I would rather suffer in silence now rather than over his grave in the near future."

"Assassinations?"

"He is Minato's son – Iwagakure will want his head on a silver platter if they even suspect that he had a child who could possibly inherit his technique. Speaking of which…"

Hiruzen raised his hand, "Don't worry – I had all of Minato's and Kushina's things sealed away. Only I and Shikaku know where they are and it's all classified under an S-class secret."

"Does he know because he is the Jōnin Commander or because he knew where Minato's hidden home was?"

"Yes. I also placed down seals to make sure no one 'accidentally' finds it. For now, they will suspect it's hidden in their bank account or vault by my orders. My only fear is that Danzō already suspects my ruse."

Jiraiya stared back in anger, "Anything I should be aware of?"

"He did force Kushina to retire form ANBU due to his insistence on putting her into Root and using her jinchūriki powers. But do not fear, I will make sure he doesn't get his hands on Naruto. And no, he doesn't know about his changes as of yet – I only realized it since I am with him at all times and I made it an S-class secret among the ANBU who watch over me for now."

"Good," nodded Jiraiya, seeing that his Sensei had everything covered, "if all goes well, I will message you by the end of the month."

"Then I wish you luck Jiraiya."

Hiruzen turned back to the paperwork on his paperwork as his former pupil leaped out the window to track down the last known Senju.

---

"Huh, well this is interesting."

Kurama opened one eye curiously, "What's wrong Naruto?"

Should probably get used to that, it is my name – even if I can't remember my previous one.

"It seems like you adapting my vessel has created unintentional changes in the timeline."

"Already? How?"

"In the timeline I know, Tsunade was forced to come back to the village twelve years from now. I mean, if I remember my timeline correctly, she left the village with Shizune after Dan's death at the conclusion of the Second Shinobi World War, which was ten years ago. So carrying back the twelve extra year's means that currently, Shizune is 16 and Tsunade is 39."

"Any reason you're keeping track of her age? And why was she dragged back?"

"Not really, just for fun. The reason she was dragged back to the village was so that she could become the Godaime Hokage after Hiruzen passed away."

Kurama critically stared at the ball of light he had gotten used to, "You aren't telling me everything here…"

I turned around to face a meditating Kyūbi, "In due time. In all honesty, it's Jiraiya's attitude that surprised me."

"The pervert surprised you?"

"Yes. In the manga, he only truly got involved in Naruto's during the Chūnin Exam in twelve years. But it was suspected that he protected him from the shadows with misinformation, sending him money, and the occasional birthday gift. Not the best godfather from a child's point, but from a shinobi's point…"

"Makes sense. He had his responsibility as a spymaster, plus he had to makes sure your real identity never got out. Besides, his association with your father would have raised too many questions."

"That point and counter-argument were raised. In any case, due to my physical changes, it is likely that he will be more directly involved in my upbringing. I can already see certain benefits from this, but I'll wait and see where it goes from here. Oh, there is one thing to add to our to-do list that I remembered after perusing my memories."

"Anything we can do about it?"

"No – just figured I should tell you. Danzō doesn't actually get the Sharingan implanted into his arm, he gets them from somewhere else. He only gets the Senju cells added."

"Who does he get them from then?"

"It was discovered many years in the future – when the original Naruto became Nanadaime Hokage…"

"Wait, Seven? Who the hell was Six?"

"Danzō was the Rokudaime for a while, but it was never finalized. Instead, Kakashi Hatake took over after the Fourth Shinobi World War."

Kurama pondered this, "Did he get over his grief and tardiness at that point?"

"Kushina knew? Of course she did. Yes, Naruto managed to literally 'knock' it out of him. He still read that orange book though."

"So did she, but that's neither here or there."

This caught my ear, "Seriously? Is the book that good or was she just a closet pervert?"

"First, there is no such thing as a closet pervert – there are people who express their sexual urges in unhealthy ways and those who regulate them in a healthy way. Kushina was of a later category. There are prudes of course like Minato but… let's just say that Kushina manages to crack his shell a little as it were."

I pondered this, "I can understand unhealthy once like Ebisu who suppresses it too much and Jiraiya who indulges it. But what do you consider a healthy way of getting rid of the urges?"

"You know Might Guy? There is a reason he constantly shouts of youth and exercises so much, and it's not just because he isn't good at Ninjutsu and the desire to be a Taijutsu Master – although it plays a role…"

"Huh… that actually makes sense. I mean, I just figured he was gay or something – he never got married in the manga nor did he a clan of sorts… and he was always 'competing' with Kakashi…"

Kurama actually laughed at that, "Oh don't worry, both are straight as arrows. It's just that Kakashi doesn't think he is worthy of love and Guy is saving himself for his one true love."

"Wait, does that mean…"

"Kakashi told this to Kushina in secret so don't spread it around."

"Honestly, I was just kept thinking that Rock Lee was his secret love child or something – their physical resemblance was just too uncanny."

"Is this someone I should know about?"

"Well... He is just a year old now, but he does become a Jōnin in the future purely on Taijutsu and he mastered the Eight Gates – or as many as he physically could… you know, with the last one killing you and all."

"Definitely one to keep an eye on in the future then. But we were talking about something else…"

"Oh right. Well, you see, at some point after leaving Konohagakure and becoming a missing-nin, Orochimaru discovers this guy named Shin who had a genetic anomaly that allowed for tissue and organ transplantation with absolutely no chance of rejection. Eventually, due to both of their fixations with the Uchiha clan, he became the Snake Sannin's personal play toy. He had active Sharingan all over his body – hell, he had five just on his head and one in the back of it. He only had one Mangekyō Sharingan though, so we were lucky there. In any case, at some point, Orochimaru took one of his arms which already had a few Sharingan in it and transplanted into Danzō. Sometime after this, Shin left Orochimaru's side and took most of his clones with him. He didn't make his appearance until much later in the timeline in a failed plot to revive the Akatsuki so that the ensuing conflict would be a catalyst to further his beliefs."

"So… Orochimaru worked for Danzō?"

"Actually, I think that they think that they are playing each other. I mean, Kabuto – Orochimaru apprentice – is literally playing as a spy for three sides at this moment, so he is a snake hidden among other larger snakes… It gets very confusing at times to know who is playing who. All I care at this moment is that Danzō uses Orochimaru and Orochimaru uses Danzō."

Kurama pondered this. This Shin was currently not a threat if he was in hiding based on 'Naruto's' knowledge but this alliance between the War Hawk and Snake Sannin was worrisome. "Does Hiruzen know?"

"No. For one thing, Root is still active at this time, and Danzō carries out these deals in secret, before and after the Uchiha Massacre and Orochimaru's status change. Also, the information that they were even making deals was discovered much later – by who, or how escapes me. In any case, I don't think we should remove Danzō from the playing board YET."

"Why…?"

"Because despite his twisted morality and ambitions, Danzō is one thing above all: a nationalist. His love for Konoha is why he engages in his secret actions. Who knows how many hidden assassinations and plots he carried out that impacted the story behind everyone's back? No, until we have a clear assessment and understanding of the current political, social, and economic strings that Danzō is tugging and pulling, he gets to live."

"Tch… You're playing a dangerous game here, Naruto. You have three years to get ready before out begin to carry out your plans, during which you have to avoid suspicion by both Danzō and Hiruzen. That's not even accounting the possibility that Jiraiya and Tsunade are about to be a constant presence in your life. Kami knows what else you will recall regarding the future…"

"Don't remind me, Kurama. Let's not forget that the body and spirit of my vessel are starting to influence me."

Kurama was afraid of this happening. When he initially met him, Naruto had no emotion in his speech and was very analytical. But slowly, his speech started gaining intonations, and his once ball-like form was slowly gaining appendages. Very soon, he will take on a child-like body and worst case scenario, a child-like mentality. "Well, this cuts into our preparation time. How much do you have left before you finish categorizing your knowledge and storing it away?"

"Two or three more days. I finished filling away my past life and knowledge from that world. I need to add a few more safes and rooms to the mainspace before continuing, but all my 'Naruto' knowledge is ready for storage."

"Just make sure I'll be able to access it if worse comes to worse and you forget yourself."

"Already done. I left several messages and instructions for myself if I don't believe you if we shall meet under such circumstances."

Kurama smirked, "So you planned it all out? Good, I was afraid that I was teaming up with a clueless little reborn soul."

"I want to say that I did, but it's more than likely that I forgot something important that I consider insignificant."

---

It took Jiraiya shorter than expected to get to Tanzaku Quarters, and even quicker to locate Tsunade and her apprentice. All he had to do was find the most active hidden source of chakra, which in a tourist location, was harder than anticipated.

It took five bars before he finally found her sitting on a stool, drinking away her sorrows with sake. Instead of rushing in, Jiraiya did the impossible and sat down next to her with some level of decorum. Noting that her apprentice wasn't with her, he assumed that she was in a hotel room somewhere nearby, meaning that Tsunade is less likely to suddenly run off if this went south.

Jiraiya sat in silence and waited while Tsunade finished drinking what seemed like her fourth flask of booze. He knew that she knew he was next to her, but this was too important to screw up, so he waited for her to make the first move.

"Must be something big if you actually managed to control yourself and not stare at my chest, Jiraiya."

Finally given the opening, he turned to look at his former teammate.

For someone a few months shy from her 40th, she still looked like someone in her 20's. Jiraiya couldn't help smirk at both her vanity and extreme level of chakra control. Only a Senju would use chakra in such a way.

"Indeed, it's too important to screw up on an impromptu lewd joke."

Tsunade smiled slightly, "Are you here to chastise me for not returning to Kushina's funeral?"

"No, I am here to bring you back to look over her child."

This caused Tsunade's eyes to bulge, "Child? Kushina was pregnant?"

"She was. It was kept hidden since the boy would be fourth in line for her duty."

Fourth, what is Jiraiya talking about? She was only the second Jinchūriki for the Kyūbi so the child should be… Wait a second…

Catching the implication in the crowded bar with prying ears, Tsunade played along. "Is that so? Tell me, did he inherit his mom's hair and eyes?"

Smiling knowing that the message has been received, Jiraiya played along, "Unfortunately no, and his name is Naruto, for 'Maelstrom' and not the 'Fishcake' like the ramen condiment. Instead, he inherited his father's blond locks and eyes. It's too soon to say whose personality he inherited, but knowing who his parents are, the Uzumaki blood will win out."

Tsunade did her best not to shatter the cup she held in her hand. Well, Kami damn it Kushina, you actually nabbed yourself a Hokage! I'd laugh if it weren't in bad taste. So he is already the Jinchūriki, and his name is Naruto Uzumaki to keep his father's identity hidden.

"So what is wrong with the boy? Must be something pretty bad if you sought me out in such a rush."

Jiraiya ordered a drink for himself, "Please – Sensei has always kept his eye on you to make sure you never disappeared. You are the last Senju - he was hoping that one day you managed to move on and continue the clan, but that seems to be less than likely at this point."

Sipping on his sake, Jiraiya pushed on, "No. Despite being born under less than stellar circumstance, Naruto seems very healthy - top of his weight and height bracket. No, Hiruzen is just concerned about his wild appearance. He fears the worse, so he sought out the best. Besides, home is in less than pristine condition at the moment; he figured with all the sick and injured, now would be a good time to get teach some medicine and for management."

Tsunade breathed out. So he is healthy but looks 'wild'? What exactly is he afraid, that the seal is weakening? No, he would call you for that. Then it must be something literally physically wrong and not just to call me back to run the Medical-nin and hospital. Although…

"And how long does he expect me to stay and help out?"

Jiraiya smirked, "Sensei hopes you will make the wise decision and hopefully remain home – he misses you, you know? Besides, would it be so wrong? You would be safe, you would have work, and your apprentice can see Konoha again; she won't even have to join our line of work, she can just skip right to working alongside you as your assistant or something."

"Was that a threat, Jiraiya?"

Jiraiya finished his drink, "Not at all. But you have to admit, your debts must be pilling up after all these years. I mean, how do you provide without dipping into your Senju funds?"

Tsunade turned away, staring straight at the wall behind the bar, "I wanted to distance myself away from Konoha, not have a constant reminder of it. I will come back damn well then I please."

Jiraiya frowned, "Please reconsider Tsunade. This is Kushina's kid here, not even you…"

"Don't you pretend to know me, Jiraiya. You have no idea what I've lost."

"I may not have lost a lover and family like you, but I have lost those close to me - or have you already forgotten what happened in Ame with Nagato, Yahiko, and Conan? I considered them my children Tsunade. For an orphan, that constitutes as something."

Tsunade turned away, "Low blow, Jiraiya."

"I don't care. Please Tsunade, return to Konoha. Don't make me beg."

Tsunade turned to face her former teammate, noting his face. "And what if I don't?"

Jiraiya finished his sake before hitting the nail in the coffin, "Then Hiruzen declares you a missing-nin."

This actually frightened Tsunade, "He wouldn't."

"Of course he wouldn't, even he isn't that heartless. But Naruto is my godson and his son, so I will do everything in power to make sure he stays safe and healthy. As such, you have one day to reconsider before I leave."

"Or what?" Inquired Tsunade, partly worried, partly angry, and partly afraid of what Jiraiya could do.

"Or I call in all your marks."

This was not what Tsunade was expecting, "Huh?"

Jiraiya gave her a wide smile as he went on, "Well you see, I order all my associates to acquire your debts. A signal from me and they call them in. Since you have outstanding fees with almost every casino in the Elemental Nations, it would become almost impossible for you to gamble anywhere – safe for places like Iwa and Kiri, but even you wouldn't be stupid enough to go there. Of course, as a Senju, you would always be welcome in the casinos back in Konoha."

At this Tsunade finally shattered the cup she was holding, "You wouldn't…"

Jiraiya started getting up to leave, "I told you Tsunade, Naruto has no one now so I will move the mountains themselves to help him any way I can. You have a day to decide, and you know where to find me."

---

Hiruzen's hand was cramping up after another day of writing. He looked outside, noting the setting sun.

It's been four days since he ordered Jiraiya to find Tsunade and he was yet to hear back from him. Granted, he said he would get a message by the end of the month, but he could hope.

The civilians caught wind of what Naruto was and demanded his head. He already had to make examples of some of them when they broke his new law, and that really hurt him.

He turned to see the source of all the villages tension.

Hiruzen had to admit that Naruto was an odd child. He was expecting… well, maybe not more from him, but something.

He remembers how difficult Asuma was when he was that age, but Naruto showed none of those behaviors. Except for crying when he needed to be changed or fed by an ANBU or him, he was either silent or asleep.

Hiruzen noted his blue eyes. As Jiraiya suspected, the pupil was already showing signs of slowly becoming a slit. Given enough time, Hiruzen feared that the azure blue recognized on his father would change to a bloody red.

As if sensing his mental distress, a messenger bird arrived on his window. Noting the kanji on it that signified that it was Jiraiya's, Hiruzen quickly unfurled the scroll and read it.

"Huh," Hiruzen said nonchalantly as possible.

Neko appeared from the wooden shelf in concern, "Problem Hokage-sama?"

Hiruzen closed the scroll, "He succeeded."

Tori quickly appeared from the ceiling, "Tsunade is to return then?!"

"Calm down Bird…"

"But Hokage-sama, this is a momentous occasion. Tension should decrease if a Senju returns to the village in its time of need to aid in recovery. It will give them hope for a new Hokage…"

"I am afraid that is a fools dreams. Jiraiya had to basically blackmail her into returning. Convincing her to take the hat will be almost impossible, even if she eventually understands why he did it."

Tori went on his knee, "Forgive my outburst, Hokage-sama."

Hiruzen raised his hand, "Don't worry, it was an understandable reaction. Please report to the Head of ANBU of the Sannin's impending arrival. To think, all three will be in the village at the same time."

"Speaking of which, why didn't you get Orochimaru to check up on Naruto's condition?"

"Because Orochimaru is a scientist and researcher first and foremost. I trust him only as far as he diagnoses what is possibly wrong with Naruto but not treat it. Besides, our relationship has been… frosty since I made Minato the Hokage over him."

Tokage finally appeared from behind the plant in the corner, "Would now not be a good enough reason to put him in instead?"

"On paper yes, it would make sense. Unfortunately, all of Orochimaru's latest accomplishments have been done from the sidelines and behind closed doors thanks to his research and experiments. Minato however, is known far and wide for effectively ending the war. Sure, the Sannin name has weight, but it can only go so fat."

The ANBU nodded in understanding, "Who do you have in mind for a replacement?"

Hiruzen pondered, "If I could I would put either Jiraiya or Tsunade, but Jiraiya is too good of spymaster to put behind a desk, and I already mentioned Tsunade's reasons. Otherwise, no one else comes to mind… Maybe Inu if he was older but still…"

"What about someone from the Uchiha clan? Or maybe a Hyūga?"

"All valid prospects Neko but again, they have enough accumulated power as it is. Kami, the only reason they allowed me to become Hokage – other than my title as 'The Professor' – is that the Sarutobi Clan has no significant political or financial holdings for me to influence."

"Other than your clan propensity of having high ranking ninja, of course."

Hiruzen smiled, "Other than that. Besides, if we start considering those clans, might as well allow the War Hawk to get a chance at the hat. In summary, there is simply no one in the village who is both strong and young enough to take up the post."

Tori got the message, "Other than Inu."

Hiruzen sighed, "And even him I doubt – I haven't seen him since the funeral. I know he took Minato's loss harder than most."

"Don't worry Hokage-sama, we take care of our own," interjected Tokage.

---

"So," stared Tsunade, "this is the little chibi."

Naruto glared right back at the woman in front of him, not an ounce of concern on his face,

Jiraiya stared in worry, "I was only gone for a week, and he already has fox-eyes."

"Just be glad his eyes are still blue," spoke Hiruzen, "I started getting worried when his ears started getting tipped."

Tsunade reached and checked the baby – yup, the ears weren't as round as expected. Not pointy, but still.

"Are you two sure it's not the seal? I've seen Inuzuka's look less doglike then this."

"Now is not the time for jokes, Tsunade," warned Hiruzen.

"Of course not – now is the time for negotiation," smirked Tsunade.

"Tsunade, you treat my godson right now, and I'll get you a batch of Gamabunta's special sake!" shouted Jiraiya.

Tsunade shook his hand, "Deal!"

As Tsunade's hands glowed green with chakra and her inspection of Naruto began, Jiraiya and Hiruzen hanged their hands in shame, "I should have just offered her that in the first place – would have been cheaper anyway."

"Yes Jiraiya, but how pissed would Gama be if you did that?"

"True Sensei, true."

After what seemed like an hour – really it was ten minutes max – Tsunade spoke, "Huh."

"'Huh'? Why did you 'huh'? What did you find?"

"Well… it's not as bad as you may think, but I guess no one ever expected a jinchūriki to get this. In all fairness, it is something any mid-skill medic would notice in an adult, but a baby?"

This caught Hiruzen's ear, "Is it fatal? Can it be reversed?"

"Oh certainly. Naruto's system is just out of synch."

"Out of synch?" inquired Jiraiya.

Tsunade wiped her brow and hands, "yeah, usually happens when a shinobi undergoes chakra exhaustion or severe trauma, usually a combination of a two. Funny thing though is that it usually happens to individuals with a lot of chakra – never seen it those on the low side. Kind of why it's usually found in males and all. Basically, once chakra network becomes slightly out of line with the body's bio-rhythms. Usually, it's not a big deal: usual symptoms include mild discomfort, slight loss of chakra control, a basic feeling of 'not feeling right in your skin' if it were. If it gets bad enough, a realignment is required and then some bed rest for healing. However, Naruto is a unique situation. A jinchūriki is basically a balance of the vessels chakra and the bijū's; if there's an imbalance in once spiritual energy…"

"Then the foreign chakra starts influencing the host, causing the physical energy to adapt to the imbalance, ergo fox-features. Nature chakra does something similar if a balance isn't achieved – I take on frog-like characteristics."

"Right you are, Jiraiya. But unlike nature chakra which can be expunged from your system, bijū chakra cannot – at least, not now in any way. When he is old enough to use chakra, Naruto could do it on his own but as a baby…"

Hiruzen pondered the implication of this, "Will this be a life-long issue?"

Tsunade closed her eyes in consideration, "I honestly don't know. I can realign him on my own right now but what's done is done. We caught the ears in time and maybe the eyes will go away on their own, but the teeth and claws? I recommend a good dentist and frequent manicures. I don't even want to start thinking about how his brain and body chemistry have already been affected. All I can offer is frequent checks up with decreasing frequency as he matures to survey the damage or possible continuation of the changes."

Jiraiya clenched his hands into fists, "Just… just treat him Tsunade… please."

Tsunade, noting the actual concerns on her former teammate's face, felt sympathy for the man, "I was going to anyway."

Right before Tsunade started the operation, She turned back to the Hokage, "Sensei – seriously consider hammering it into the civilians skulls that he is the Kyūbi jailer and not the fox himself. These…changes… are not going to be easy to ignore. And I have a strong suspicion that Jiraiya will knock more heads then me if anyone touches him with intent to harm."

Hiruzen looked at Jiraiya, noting his tension, "Perhaps its best if you go and have a drink – you earned a small reprieve for now."

Jiraiya unclenched his fists, "Maybe… First I got to go and set up an account for Naruto so he can get a stipend to use. I suspect that the civilians will find a way around your law Sensei, one of which will include screwing him over financially."

Tsunade waited for Jiraiya to jump out the window before saying one last thing, "If it weren't for the fact I am sober right now, I would swear that he was someone other than the Toad Sage we all grew up with."

"Caught me by surprise as well, Tsunade. But tragedy does bring about change in people. Besides, as a former orphan, Jiraiya will relate to Naruto on a very fundamental level, unlike both of us."

"True," nodded Tsunade. "Well then, let's begin."

---

"Damn it, damn it, damn it!"

Kurama broke out of his meditation, "Naruto, what's wrong?"

I started quaking and morphing out of control, "Tsunade… she started something… I feel… out of balance…"

Kurama swore, "Looks like we are out of time. Did you finish cataloging all your memories and knowledge?"

"Yes… everything is done… and ready… information regarding my former life… is under so many locks and keys… that no Yamanaka will ever even catch a whiff of it."

"And your knowledge regarding this world?"

"Same… but they will at least be able to tell what it is about… and believe that I simply… have naturally good mental defenses… besides, your enough of a guard dog to keep the stupid ones out."

Kurama smiled, "Kami, we must really be out of time – you are actually making jokes."

I actually laughed, "Don't start Furball. Did she find the sensory and chakra bypass I made for you?"

Kurama closed his eyes for a moment, "Nope. I am still linked to your senses, and I can still dump my chakra into your body, albeit at a much slower rate than before."'

"Good… enough…"

I actually spasmed in pain as whatever Tsunade was doing took hold, "Just… remember… Hinata… Hyūga… 3rd birthday…"

Kurama nodded his head, "I'll remember and make sure to drag in whatever is left of you down here to remind you of anything you have forgotten."

Finally feeling the process finalizing, a spoke out one last thing, "Good luck… Kurama."

"And good luck to you to Naruto. It was getting to know… whatever you were."

I chuckled before one last spasm hit me.

---

Kurama watched as the ball of light he had so close so quickly literally shattered before his eyes. He watched as his remains actually drifted off and became part of the air around him. He would have gone back to his meditation as normal if he hadn't noticed several pockets of energy form and fly off to separate ends of the mindscape.

Que anime sweat-drop. "Well, that's not ominous at all."

---

Hiruzen covered his ears as Naruto finally started crying for no good reason as soon as Tsunade finished.

"Boy, does he have a pair of lungs on him. Well, he is your problem now Sensei."

The Hokage eyes bulged, "Now wait a minute Tsunade…"

Tsunade smiled and started walking out of the office, "Sorry, but I got to go and help Shizune clean up the Senju home before we move in. Plus, I got to go to the hospital and make a tally of supplies and check how good the medics are. I mean, I am going to be the Head of the Hospital, am I not?"

"But, but, but…"

Tsunade opened and walked out the door, "Sorry Sensei, but I gotta go. Sayōnara!"

Hiruzen watched the door to his office slam loudly. In turn, Naruto's screaming became even louder. He quickly noted that all three ANBU that were in his office decided to take an early shift change.

"Traitors," mumbled Hiruzen

---

Immediately after setting up various accounts and fallbacks for Naruto to use in worst case scenarios, Jiraiya quickly made his way to an alcove deep within the Forest of Death. After making sure no one was around, he quickly made a summon.

Two puffs of smoke appeared, revealing Fukasaku and Shima, the Two Great Sage Toads.

"Well, well, well… Nice to see you again, Jiraiya-boy."

"Nice to see you too, Fukasaku-san."

Shima hit Jiraiya on top of his head with her tongue, "Took you long enough! You know how worried we get if don't hear back from you."

"Now, now Shima, you not that Jiraiya is a busy man," Fukasaku spoke as he tried to calm his wife.

"I don't care! You know how long its been since we sat down for a meal and ate together as a family? Ages!"

Jiraiya rubbed the top of his head, "Look I am sorry about that Shima-san, but my job as a spymaster does keep me busy. Besides, that's not why I summoned you two."

"Does it have to do with Minato's passing?"

At Fukasaku question, everyone became somber. "How did you know?"

"His name disappeared from the Toad Contract – he has passed on, hasn't he? Him and Kushina?"

Jiraiya looked down in shame, "Yes. But their kid lives."

Shima perked up, "Jinchūriki?"

Jiraiya nodded, "Unfortunately, he seems to have some kind of imbalance in his body. We don't know if it's a permanent condition or not, but Tsunade is treating it as we speak."

"Truly, the Slug Sannin has returned? That's wonderful."

"Indeed Shima-san. I know she can hammer everything out in him but…"

Fukasaku stared at his pupil, "But what Jiraiya? You are not one to worry about things."

"In this case, my worry is justified. His condition has already made him take on several fox traits, and I suspect that it will persist despite Tsunade's best efforts."

Fukasaku took charge of the conversation and crossed his arms, "And what exactly do you expect from us, Jiraiya-boy?"

Jiraiya bowed, his forehead touching the ground, his hand's shoulder distance, "Please Fukasaku-san and Shima-san, I need to perfect my Sage training as soon as possible. I beg you to make time for your unworthy disciple!"

Fukasaku was gobsmacked by this request while Shima in her fluster tried to get Jiraiya to raise his head. "Raise your head, you foolish child! That is not appropriate behavior for your position! Remember, we chose to allow you to become a Toad Summoner. What makes you think you are unworthy our tutelage?"

"The fact that I always managed to find any excuse imaginable to get of training with Nature Chakra," looked up Jiraiya.

"Don't start Jiraiya. That excuse only worked before your responsibilities became too cumbersome to make any long stretches of time available for you to train with us. What changed now?"

Jiraiya sat in a kneeling position, "Naruto's physical changes are similar as too then I lack balance within myself and take on toad features due to nature chakra. I need to master Sage Mode by the time Naruto is old enough to start working with chakra so I can teach him how to properly achieve balance within himself. As his godfather, it is my duty to ensure his wellbeing."

Fukasaku smiled, "Jiraiya, there is no more admirable reason than that to demand our teaching. We would have made time for to train you regardless of circumstances, but if it is for the sake of your godchild, then we can begin immediately."

Shima clapped, "Oh, it will be so nice to have visitors again! I can finally try my hand at some new dishes for you, Jiraiya-chan!"

Jiraiya bowed once more, higher off the ground this time, "Thank you. I'll need time to inform my associates and set up a workable schedule to maintain my network and train with you, so give me two days to get all the messages out."

Fukasaku and Shima both nodded in turn, "Then we expect you for dinner in two days' time, Jiraiya-boy. Until then."

Jiraiya completed the seal to dismiss his summons. "Just you wait, Naruto. I'll make sure nothing happens to you."

AS he was leaving the forest, a thought struck him, "Oh crap, what about my manuscript for 'Icha Icha'? Damn, I hope my publisher doesn't kill me."

---

December 26th, 3 years later

I opened my eyes and saw myself laying in a field. I got and looked around, noting the landscape around me. It all seemed... familiar… I could have sworn I have been here before.

I started exploring, walking whatever direction suited me. Eventually, I made myself to what appeared to be the center of it all.

As I drew near, I saw a figure sitting in a meditative pose with its hands in a ram sign.

I only realized that it was a giant fox when I finally reached its feet.

I stared in silence at what I realized was the Kyūbi no Yōko, the demon that attacked my village all those years ago.

Before I got a chance to ponder the implications, one of its eyes opened. "Huh… I figured I would need to summon you myself. Guess you left some sort of trigger to summon yourself without my aid."

"Summon myself? What are you talking about? And how do you know my name?"

This caused the Kyūbi to actually open both eyes in concern, "Tch… I guess Tsunade's treatment did more damage than we thought. Thank Kami for your contingency plans."

"Wait, how do you know Tsunade? And what is this con…con…damn it, I can't say that word!"

The fox chuckled as he turned and pointed at a door that appeared out of nowhere. I noted the kanji for 'In Case of Emergency' written on it. "Just go through that door, and everything will make sense afterward."

"Right… and I should do that why?"

"Don't worry, it will just make things easier to believe afterward."

I panicked, "Who said that?"

"I did'," said the voice once more.

I watched as from behind the Kyūbi appeared… me. Instead, four more of… me appeared. But they all looked… wrong. They all looked like me, but they all seemed different than me. One had red hair, another brown, one green, and one had blue hair of all things.

The one with the blue hair walked ahead and raised his hands, "Do not be afraid. We are just different representations of you."

"But… how… why?"

The blue haired me chuckled, "All will be clear after you complete what is behind that door."

Noting the absurdity of what would follow if I started questioning myself, I decided to listen to… myself… and walk right past the Kyūbi. As I was opened the door, I turned to the blue haired me, "Is what he saying true?"

The blue-haired me stared at the Kyūbi and back to me once more, "Yes. What Kurama said is true Naruto – everything will be explained in due time."

"Oh… well then, thank you Naruto… I mean, me. I am sorry, but is there another name I can call you?"

The blue-haired me smiled, "Of course. In anticipation of this day and for convenience sake, we all chose names for ourselves to distinguish ourselves. I personally go by Ao."

"I go by Aka." Said the red-haired me.

"I go by Midori." Said the green-haired me.

"I go by Kasshoku." Said the brown-haired me.

"So… you guys go by hair color. Guess that's easy to remember. By that logic, I should call myself Ki. Are there any more of you?"

"Only Shiro and Kuro, but they prefer to go by Yang and Yin. Don't worry, you won't meet them anytime soon. They are rather… private individuals."

"Okay… I guess I'll talk to you guys soon... hopefully."

I slid the door open and walked into the room.

---

Kurama watched disappear before looking down at Ao, "How shocked to think he is going to be when he meets Yang?"

"More than we were, that's for sure."