Hey guys. First fanfic (I guess that's what it is?) ever - and yes, I know it's absolute crap and really short, I just thought it'd be nice to get suggestions for this story. So it'd be nice if you could review 'n' stuff? 'Cuz I have absolutely no idea where this story is going. I have just as many questions as you about the plot and characters and what the hell is going on. Rated T just to be safe. So, enjoy, I guess? (I've probably been watching too much Supernatural, so I'm sorry if it shows in later chapters [if there are later chapters]. \^_^/ ).

Love. I stare out the window, pondering it. Love. What is love? When someone says, "I love you," do they really mean it? Did he mean it? I turn to glare at the ground as a single tear runs down my cheek and rushes down to meet the floor. I miss him.

Suddenly, the lights fare red and a 'code red' screeches through the building. I cover my ears as the words repeat, over and over, reminding us this is not a drill. Reminding us to get up. Get up or be left behind, it seems to say. Get up or die.

As I surge to my feet and race back to my bunk, it seems silly to have been thinking about him. To have been thinking about a pitiful thing like love. Love is weakness, they tell us, and it is. I feel anger pulse through my veins at my naivete. You idiot, I scold myself. If they knew... I shake my head as I continue to weave my way through the halls. They won't find out. You don't care about him anymore. He doesn't matter,I tell myself again and again, and eventually I start to realize I'm right. He doesn't matter. Just another person left behind when I volunteered my life to save theirs.

Finally I reach the familiar room, and all thoughts of my childish mistake slip from my mind as I pull on the suit in record time, sling my bag over my shoulder, and sprint back into the halls, joining the throng of recruits as they push forward, none wanting to be left behind. Since I'm so small, I can easily weave through the crowd of my friends and enemies alike. Once I'm sure I can make it out on time, I stop trying to fight my way through and simply let them carry me forward.

It's only in emergencies like this when I can see how many people are really here at the base with me. How many people have sacrificed their lives like I did.

I can't help the fleeting sense of longing for my old life before I manage to shove it in the jar I keep in my heart - the place I store all emotions that would be considered weak. I only let them out when I'm alone, and I only do it then to stomp on and smash them until I'm sure they won't be coming back soon. Eventually, maybe, but not now. Not when I have much more important things to focus on. Who cares about my petty little feelings when lives are at stake? If it means I'm not human, then so be it. I'd rather be strong and a monster than weak and flawed. I can help more people when I'm ruthless. Here, at the base, these people understand what I feel. They want me to be cruel. They want me to not show emotion, to not be pitiful. They train us to vicious and reward us for being brutal. They know how to make us the best soldiers, and discipline us until we are. They understand how we think, and manipulate us until we have no flaws. And we are finally not the useless, pathetic things we thought we were. And we enjoy it. We enjoy having this power. This fearlessness. This freedom to finally do something useful and fight.

So, um, yeah. Yay, I wrote a story. Go me. *explosion of sprinkly sparkles*

Suggestions for plot ideas 'n stuff are greatly appreciated. In fact, they're pretty vital. I mean, unless you want this story to crash and burn, in which case you can just be on your merry little way.

peace ~ love ~ donuts