The airship Prima Vista soared through the mist, travelling onwards to the destination. On board, a golden-haired figure wearing mostly blue and with a long monkey-like tail, descended from the floor above. The figure dropped down gracefully, and entering a nearby door to find the room in blackness.
"Sure is dark... Guess no one's here..." The yellow-haired figure said, in the gloom, then paused.
"Or you bastards arfe hiding and blew the candles out."
No one voiced a reply, cackled manically ,or otherwise gave any sign anyone else was present, so the figure in blue lit a match, holding it aloft for the light.
"...Where's the damn candlestick..." The figure pondered, after wandering the room aimlessly for a few moments.
Eventually, the errant candlestick was found where it always had been, in the middle of the room. Almost at once, as the room was bathed in the brighter light of the candles, a voice challenged from a door to the right.
"Who's there?"
"It's me!" The only person in the room replied, and was about to further clarify when the door opened.
Three figures emerged. One, a red-haired male slightly taller than the candle-lighter. Another, a shorter and fatter man in a chef's hat, and the third, a man taller than the red-head with pointed ears and a rag-like hat.
"You sure are late, Blondie..." The red-haired male said.
"Can it, Blank. Not all of us had weeks to rehearse..."
Blondie scanned the room for a moment.
"The boss isn't here yet..." The short man noted. Blondie fixed him a stare.
"I can see that, Cinna. I do have eyes..."
At that moment, a door opposite the one the trio had entered from burst open. A dragon-headed figure emerged, roared, and leapt down beside them...
"Hi Boss!" Blondie said cheerfully, as the other three tensed to fight. The dragon-headed figure paused.
"...How did you know it was me?" Baku sighed. Blondie shrugged.
"It pays to have someone observant along." The man with pointed ears grinned.
"Whatever, Marcus. I was gonna try and make sure you four were on your toes but it looks like one good apple helps the barrel. Let's start this meeting already..." Baku said, walking into the door the three had entered from, leaving a puzzled Blondie behind.
"...I'm pretty sure that phrase goes differently..."
Blondie walked in, and sat by a table. A model of a castle sat there, and Baku began speaking.
"Here's the plan" Tantalus, the infamous band of daring thieves (that's us)..." He said.
"Is it?" Someone interrupted.
"...is headin' to the Kingdom of Alexandria..."
"Are we?"
"...Shut up, Blondie. Our mission: to kidnap the heir to the throne, Princess Garnet!"
"I'll take it from here, so listen up. Our ship's about to dock at Alexandria..." Cinna began
"Is it?"
"Seriously, shut up." Baku growled.
"And when it does, we're gonna put on our costumes and perform 'I Want to Be Your Canary,' the most popular play in Alexandria! Break a leg, Marcus! 'Cause you're playin' the lead!"
"Leave the actin' to me! Of course, the real kidnappers'll be you two." Marcus said, gesturing towards Blank and Blondie.
"I'll distract the audience from backstage with these little buggers." Blank said, holding up a box. Inside, there were a number of beetle-like creatures.
"I can't stand oglops... But I'll manage, so don't worry about me."
"Look, I should point out I can stand oglops. So why was it the plan always involved Blank with the oglops?" Blondie said.
"Because Blank has the oglops." Baku said.
"But I like oglops."
"Yeah, and you're a freak. Don't get your panties in a bunch though, you get to kidnap the princess now."
"But why me? I know we had to change the plan but how come I can't hold the oglops and Blank kidnaps the Princess?"
"Well, the princess is a girl and we figure you'd know how to kidnap a girl better that these guys, what with you being so girly and all..." Blank smirked.
"Hey! What's so girly about me?"
The other four stared at the protester.
"...Do you want us to draw you a picture or do you realise the answer yourself?" Marcus said.
"Who'd draw it?" Blondie pondered.
"Cinna." Came a near-unanimous reply, with only Cinna himself silent.
"Ugh, I get it. I've seen his pictures." Blondie said in disgust.
"...Y-you have?" Cinna said, worried.
"Yeah. The anatomy's all wrong. Just for the record, any woman with breasts as big as he draws would have serious back pain."
"How would you know?" Baku said. Blondie paused.
"Uh..."
"Don't answer. Anyway, Blank releases the oglops and be very sure that it is Blank B-L-A-N-K who does this and then, what do you do?" Baku continued.
"...Kidnap the Princess?"
"That's right. Thank you for not making another stupid comment."
"I had three or four I could have made." Blondie confessed with a shrug.
In Alexandria town, a small boy in a blue coat and drooped hat found his ticket to the play was a fake. However, a rat-boy had promptly made the blue-coated boy, Vivi, into his "slave" in order for the pair to get into the castle by going over the roofs. None of the players knew of this.
They simply played their part, until Blondie and Blank had their mock swordfight... Then promptly ran off stage, and then knocked out two Knights of Pluto to steal their uniforms.
In the Knights of Pluto briefing room, the two unconscious Knights had been thoroughly debriefed. Two very concious individuals now wore their rusting plate armour.
"You gave me a splinter when you hit me with the sword..." Blank whined.
"Well, what was I supposed to do with those stupid instructions you were giving me? Hit X? What does that mean? Besides, it's just a splinter, you girl..." Blondie said.
"Never mind... I see you decided to attack the cute one." Blank changed subject, trying to get a shot back.
"He doesn't smell cute... This helmet reeks..."
"Well, you don't smell cute either, Sir Monkey..."
"Ha Ha. Can it or you'll be Sir Broken Nose... But seriously, this helmet smells."
"Yeah, well, My helmet totally reeks as well. My armour's way too big and my back's real itchy..." Blank pointed out
"Okay, I get it, you're worse off..." Blondie sighed.
"I've got other problems too, want to hear them?"
"Look, let's just go." Blondie said, marching out.
"Yeah, okay, but you have to wear the helmet..."
"But it stinks!"
"Fine, don't wear it, but it'll bite you on the ass later..." Blank sighed.
"Pfft. What's the worst that could happen?"
The two walked out into a hallway, thankfully empty of guards or other unwanted castle personnel.
"Okay, so, the royal box is up these stairs..." Blondie said, more for personal benefit as a reminder than as an instruction to Blank.
At that, a loud cheer came from the crowd.
"Uh oh, The scene where Marcus sneaks into Cornelia's chamber is about to start! Let's get this over with before the finale, okay?" Blank said.
As they tried to climb the stairs though, they met a girl coming the other way. She wore a white cloak, and paused at the sight of the two.
"She sure is dressed funny..." Blank whispered.
"Um... Would you please let me pass?" The girl said.
"Let's see..." Blank said, moving closer and looking at the face of the girl.
"Is there something on my face?" The girl asked, a nervous hint to her voice.
"Oh, no. You see... I just thought maybe you were the one I'd been waiting for all this time." Blank continued. Blondie turned head to look at him.
"What?" Blondie asked.
"Excuse me? You were waiting for me?" The girl said, the nerves joined by confusion and surprise. Blondie took another look at her.
"Yeah! I've dreamt of meeting you here ever since I was born!" Blank carried on
"Do you mock me?" The girl asked, indignation now the primary edge to her voice.
"Yes, yes he does... Why are you flirting with her?" Blondie spoke up unheard.
"No, of course not..." Blank lied, ignoring his friend.
"Then, I shall take my leave of you!" The girl fumed, but as she tried to move, Blondie blocked her path.
"Just a sec! Haven't we met before?" Blondie tried.
"No, I do not know you..." The girl said, then frowned.
"...Are you a Knight of Pluto?" she asked.
"Yes ma'am. We both are..." Blank said.
"But... They are a male-only organisation..."
"Uh... That's right." Blondie said.
"Then why are you a girl?" The girl pressed on.
"...I'm not a girl, miss."
"You look and sound like one."
"Um... tight uniform, miss? And I'm just handsome?" Blondie said. The girl noted the baggy and oversized set of armour that Blondie wore.
"Look, Princess, he's telling the... "
The girl, at these words, almost jumped. She ran straight past the two, knocking Blank over
"Oh, nice going." Blondie applauded as the two gave chase.
"Why would she run off though? Surely she'd expect her own knights to recognise her."
"Do you think she guessed we're fake knights?" Blondie said
Blank glared at Blondie.
"I told you. You should have worn the helmet..."
"You should have worn the helmet! Don't get your panties all bunched up, Blank." Blondie mockingly repeated back and retorted.
"Sorry, I thought you wore the panties."
"Up yours."
At this point Blondie discovered three things. The Princess was surprisingly athletic, able to run without breaking a sweat, it seemed, while the two Tantalus would-be kidnappers had to deal with the heavy (and less than fragrant) armour. She had led them through the strangely empty castle, out into the courtyard
"This armour is slowing us. No way she'd have the stamina if she ran at our top speeds, not someone so thin like her..." Blank noted
Before Blondie could attempt any response in defence of the thin, the Princess darted into a tower, and seemingly, into a dead end as she ran up the stairs.
"There's no way out from there. I'll seal the gate here and stop anyone following, you catch her!" Blank continued
"Right. I'm gonna ditch this armour too..." Blondie nodded, agreeing that the armour was restrictive.
Once it was off, movement was much easier. The Princess was startled by the shape dashing up the tower after her, and ran faster. The top wasn't long in coming, and the door behind was easy to close.
'Wait... Why didn't she close it? Does she know she's trapped? Maybe she's trying head back down and lock the door behind her!' Blondie suddenly realised and made sure that no counter-trap had been sprung.
However, the Princess was instead climbing up the battlements.
"Whoa! Hey, hold on, that's..."
The Princess turned, smiled, and then jumped. However, she was holding onto the rope for some bunting, and was using it to swing down towards the Prima Vista.
"...The most awesome thing I've ever seen in my life." Blondie said, impressed, and decided to follow.
Adelbert Steiner, Captain of the Knights of Pluto, was not a happy man at this point in time. The Princess missing, his men away from their posts, Beatrix and her squad of demented little robots vowing to show up the idiot men once again...
His determination to locate his Princess grew. He climbed one tower of the castle, thinking either she may be there (The balcony she liked to sit in was closed off tonight and guarded) or could be seen easier from higher up.
He was correct, in that he saw her on the opposite tower, pursued by a golden-haired figure.
"She's being hounded by Brigands! Fear not Princess! Your Knight is coming!" He shouted.
At that point, as he made to head downstairs, she climbed over the edge and jumped.
Blondie landed in the orchestra's deck, and was confused to see no sign of the Princess.
"Did she go this way?" Blondie asked, darting into the nearest room without an answer. A second later, there were two crashes. The Princess dashed past, knocking over the musicians, and inside the room, Blondie ran headfirst into a blue-haired woman.
"What in tarnation?"
"Uh, hi Ruby... Did you see a..." Blondie began, only for the Princess to run in and jump over the two sprawled on the floor.
"Hey, that was..." Ruby said
"I know."
"Shouldn't you follow her?"
"Yes!" Blondie said, trying to stand
"Then why ain't you?"
"You're sitting on my tail!"
Ruby stood up, giggling at this, and allowed Blondie to follow. However, the Princess had finally stopped running, halting inside the room where Blondie had lit the candles a few hours before. Blondie was a little annoyed to see she didn't look exhausted at all.
"Whew... You've made up your mind, then?"
'Okay, next time we improvise I'm going to run less... And pick armour that doesn't smell so bad.'
"Do you work on this theatre ship?" The princess asked.
'So she figured that out.'
"As you have no doubt suspected...the truth is that..." The girl said, hesitant. Blondie waited, patient on the outside at least.
'Good gods woman, get on with it! Cinna can read a whole word off a book in the time you spend pausing between words!'
"The truth is that I am actually..."
'Sheesh, he's reached the end of the freakin' sentence...'
She then pulled down her hood.
"Princess Garnet Til Alexandros, heir to the throne of Alexandria." She finished.
"...Um, yeah, I hadn't guessed. "
'Not this year anyway. Man, how many birthdays have I missed?'
"I have a favour I wish to ask of you... I wish to be kidnapped... right away." Garnet continued, not hesitating so much now. Blondie stared.
"...Seriously?"
There was then a loud knock on the door, followed by a bellowing voice.
"Princess! Where are you?"
"Please! They've come for me!" Garnet whispered in a panic as she pulled her hood back up.
'Who? Your grandchildren? How come you managed to get kids in the decades we were here waiting on you to hurry up and speak?' Blondie wanted to say, the internal voice taking the exaggeration too far.
"Well, leave them to me. I'll do my best to kidnap you!" Blondie actually said.
'Huh, that might have been a worse line than the other one.'
"Thank you. You have my gratitude." Garnet smiled, as the right side door burst open, and Cinna emerged. Garnet nearly jumped out of her skin.
"What're you two doin'? Come on, this way!" He urged. Blondie turned to reassure the Princess.
"Don't worry, Princess. It's my friend Cinna! ...Though I use the term lightly. Friend, that is, not Princess."
"Oh, really? I am sorry. You startled me." She said sheepishly.
"He just has that kind of face." Blondie explained.
"Hey! I wash up every morning, you know!" Cinna protested.
"Yeah, well, try to shower too. And do it at night as well." Blondie dismissed the protests as they ran off.
"How can I shower when everyone else uses all the hot water going first!"
At the sound of more knocking, and another loud cry of Princess, Blondie sighed.
"Cinna, this doesn't matter now."
"You're right. This way, Princess."
The trio were led into the room where the plan had been hatched, the plan which Blondie was still certain should have left the Oglops in the hands of someone more capable.
"Cinna you nitwit, this is a dead end!" Blondie sighed.
"...You installed the damn escape hatch with me and Marcus!" Cinna fumed.
"Did I? I don't remember that..."
"You didn't help as such, you just hung off the rafters by your tail telling us what we were doing wrong."
"A supervisory role." Garnet noted.
Cinna sighed.
"Something like that. Anyway, Open... Sesame."
The table lifted, revealing a passageway down into the engine room.
"Well, ladies first..." Cinna tried. Blondie shoved him in.
"Fools rush in where Angels fear to tread..." Blondie snickered.
"But you pushed him down." Garnet noted.
"Yeah. There's another part we add to that proverb in Lindblum."
"What might that be?"
"Smart people send the fools in first." Blondie said, jumping down, followed by Garnet.
Garnet deftly leapt down from the engine casing they had landed on, following Blondie.
"Wow, you're really athletic, Princess! That's the kind of thing that makes guys fall for you..." Cinna flirted.
Garnet, to her credit, managed to hide the look of sheer horror quite quickly.
"Don't mind him. He's not very good with the opposite gender." Blondie advised.
"Oh, yeah, and you have such a great track record!"
"We have no time for idle banter!" Garnet urged. Blondie and Cinna glared at each other then took the lead. And ran head first into a large man in rusty armour.
Blondie wanted to swear but remembered there were ladies present.
Cinna did not.
"Watch your tongue, brigand! There is a lady present!"
"Oh no..." Garnet muttered.
"Princess! Fear not! I, Captain Adelbert Steiner, are here to save you!"
"Am." Blondie said.
"...What?"
"I am. Well, I'm not, obviously, but you are."
"That is what I said, insolent dog!" Steiner growled.
"...No it's not. And what did he just call me?"
Another knight entered from behind the trio, leaving Garnet in despair even as Blondie engaged in pedantic grammatical squabbles.
"Excellent work! This is the finest hour of the Knights of Pluto." Steiner beamed.
"Just relax, Princess. We'll get you out of here."
Steiner paused, as if in thought.
"...You... You are not one of my knights!"
Blank merely nodded and raised his sword.
"You can just..." Blank began.
"...Leave the princess to us." Cinna finished.
Blondie was surprised how fast the real Knight moved. His blade was out, and even though he looked overweight, it wasn't too hard to realise now that maybe this Knight was one of those guys. The guys who made their very appearance a complete lie. People who tried to look like what they were not. People, in short, like Tantalus. Blondie wanted to swear so very much, but still remembered there were ladies present.
His blade hit Blank, smashing his armour, but leaving the Tantalus member unharmed.
The box filled with Oglops however, ruptured. The little insects inside swarmed free in what seemed like a massive swarm to some in the room. Of course, to others (yellow haired or female) it was the mere handful of bugs that it really was.
Only two kept their heads in the ensuing panic, Garnet and Blondie dashing into the next room as girly shrieks rang out, all coming quite ironically from males.
"I'm impressed, Princess, most girls freak out around Oglops."
"But... You have one on your head."
"And you're still not freaking out about it, are you?" Blondie said with a grin.
Garnet realised that this room was a dead end, surveying it. The noise of the play above could be faintly heard, and all she saw in this room were two scissor-lift platforms.
Cinna darted in.
"Get on number two, Blondie!"
He stared. The Oglop bounced off its golden perch and chased him from the room. As luck had it, Steiner's attempted entry was foiled by the same Oglop, resulting in a repeat of earlier's amusing spectacle of girly shrieks from both men as they fled.
"You heard the... Complete wuss, let's get on two." Blondie said. The Princess agreed.
Baku was not pleased when Blondie and their target popped up from the stage. But the little flaxen monkey hadn't let him down in the past, and Baku knew his underling was good at improvising their butts out of trouble.
"Improvise!" Blondie hissed quickly, and Baku was glad to see Marcus take the initiative and free himself from the grasp of Benero and Zenero. He had no idea what the next line was now, to be honest...
"Cornelia!" He said, rushing over to Garnet.
"Marcus is playing Cornelia's Lover." Blondie whispered. Garnet nodded, and Blondie's hunch paid off.
"Oh, Marcus!" She said.
'A little hammy, but not bad for a newbie...' Blondie thought.
What was said, however, was more simple.
"You're doing great."
"I have studied drama, you know." Came the quiet reply.
"Let's keep going, Brahne's still watchin'!" Baku warned.
At this point, Steiner managed to arrive. The hapless Captain was utterly bewildered by what he saw.
"Ho? What's all this?" He mumbled to himself.
"Oh Marcus, I missed you so." Garnet continued, falling into his arms.
Blondie was glad for hood the Princess wore, since surely even Brahne would fail to recognise her own daughter... If Garnet was her daughter. Blondie just could not see the resemblance.
'Come to think of it she looks a lot more like that portrait of the King I saw. She must have taken after her father. Handsome father, beautiful daughter... elephant mother. Makes no damn sense...' Blondie thought, almost getting distracted as the other players acted out their improvised parts.
"I wish never to leave thy side. Prithee, lead me from this place!" Garnet's lines concluded, just in time for Blondie to note that she had performed it flawlessly.
"See, King Leo? Thou shouldst give them thy blessing." Blondie managed to say just in time.
"Never! Never leave his side, thou sayest? Foolish banter! I'll not allow it!" Baku said, hamming it up to the maximum and then some. Clearly he was trying to out-act the Princess. Typical Boss...
"Cornelia shall marry none other than this man - Prince Schneider! Is that not so, Prince Schneider?"
Blondie fought not to laugh. "Prince Schneider" was none other than Steiner. The Captain was just as freaked out as Blondie, though in the other direction. Where the golden-haired person on stage had mirth, the rusty-armoured person?
Horror.
"M-Me? Marry the Princess?"
In the Royal Box, there was slight confusion from one person.
"Is that... It can't be..." An Alexandrian soldier said.
"Is that who, soldier?" General Beatrix asked, looking back at the stage. Another soldier had just finished a report, and Beatrix had ordered her to find a squad not posted as guards, and have them go to search beyond the castle grounds for the wayward princess.
There was, as the soldier noted in her report, a slim risk she had somehow made her way into the city. Beatrix knew from experience Garnet had often snuck into the city when younger, so she had issued the orders. But something seemed odd...
Beatrix frowned as she kept looking down, and saw familiar armour on stage. Her pondering over something odd about that soldier she had just dismissed was forgotten as the other soldier she had addressed spoke.
"Well, Ma'am, I just thought that Prince Schneider looks... Well, like Captain Steiner."
"Captain Adelbert Steiner is currently searching the castle with his men, attempting to locate Princess Garnet. I am sure he would not be so incompetent as to blunder onto the stage and force the company to improvise him into the play to spare blushes..."
She paused. On stage, Marcus and his ally overwhelmed King Leo's guards. She continued speaking, this time closer to reality.
"Okay, he is that foolish, but for now just pretend the rusty idiot hasn't made his squad look even stupider."
Beatrix spared her Queen a quick glance as the faux-battle concluded on stage, and the soldier suppressed a giggle. Fortunately, Brahne had no inkling of what lay before her on stage. Steiner's blushes were spared for the moment.
The alternative, she thought, was that somehow he had abandoned his duty and was acting in the play. On stage, Marcus lunged at King Leo, his blade stopped by his own lover diving in the way. Beatrix sighed at what unfolded. The oaf thought Princess Cornelia's death was real. Either that or the man genuinely was acting in the play after all...
"Whoops. She should have told Marcus to spare himself..." The soldier commented as Marcus took his own life at his error.
"Cut the chatter, Maria." Beatrix ordered. Brahne had taken no notice of the soldier's commentary, but Beatrix was taking no risks.
Ruby wasn't happy. A blonde wig (despite, in her view, far better choices to pose as an Alexandrian soldier) and the ridiculous leotard-bathing suit of the Alexandrian Army were no fun to wear at all.
But she was Tantalus. Maybe one of the two more inclinded to wanting a quiet life as actors rather than as thieves posing as actors, but she was still Tantalus, and that meant she did her part. Acting to be a soldier was simple enough.
And finding a squad was easy too.
"The General has ordered us to be covert. No shouting Princess, no barging into dwellings, and try not to look like we're searching for anything. Split up, walk around by yourselves. One soldier isn't odd, a whole team of them is. Remember, we want to avoid a panic." The Sergeant of the squad ordered as they crossed the moat and reached the city itself.
That suited Ruby just fine. Slip away, get out of this dumb uniform, wait at the bar for Blondie to sneak off the ship, come and meet her, and then the two would head to Treno and finish their own misison. Meanwhile Garnet would be smuggled into Lindblum. No problems.
A little improvised, but it was close enough to the original plan. Boss had quickly approved the changes as Blondie continued the "chase" and the others ran distractions against the rusty Knight.
But Ruby was Tantalus.
'I wonder what's gonna go wrong...'
Blondie wanted to swear but remembered there were ladies present.
It had gone pretty well. The knight was going to be a problem quite soon, but Boss probably had it covered.
Then two more Knights chased a kid in a steeple hat and blue coat onto the stage.
"Leave me alone! Don't come any closer!" The kid had shouted at the two knights.
And then he shot a ball of fire from his hands that set fire to the Princesses cloak. She naturally threw it away as she leapt up in surprise.
Blondie had to dodge a burning cloak, which normally was a very bad sign. Not as bad as catching fire but the plan had been to avoid that.
"Damn. Okay guys, time we got moving..." Baku said.
"I... I agree! Princess, let's get out of here. We must hide the fact you are now a zombie thanks to the actions of the fiendish necromancer... er... what was your name, kid?"
The boy looked at Blondie, very puzzled.
"My name's Vivi... But I'm not a necromancer..."
"Yes, the Princess is now a zombie thanks to the necromancer Vivi!" Blondie beamed, noting that somehow it just worked.
Silence descended.
Maybe that "worked" estimate was premature.
"I do not think anyone still believes this is a play..." Garnet said sympathetically.
"It was worth a try though, right?"
More silence. Baku quietly slipped away in the distraction.
"I guess that's a no then."
Garnet sighed and turned to face Steiner.
"Steiner. Do not follow me any more."
Unfortunately, after all the time in a sea of confusion, for Steiner, this was blessed dry land.
"That is an order I cannot obey, your highness. You are clearly under the influence of trickery from these brigands!"
He raised his blade, as his two Knights stood behind him.
"Men... Seize them! Rescue the Princess!"
"Damn... They almost look competent..." Marcus noted.
"Yeah... Almost." Blondie smirked.
One Knight charged. Blondie ducked under his swing, and a quick uppercut into the guts winded the man, and promptly led to his sword being stolen. The hijacked weapon was used to parry the other attacker, and a quick fist through the opening it created knocked the Knight of Pluto down in one punch. The winded one was then whacked over the back of the skull by the hilt of the sword and collapsed into blessed oblivion.
Blondie smirked, and nudged the two unconscious knights off the stage-edge, and off the ship.
"So... You next, Sir Rustalot?"
The intimidating effect was slightly disarmed by the way the golden-haired fighter was waving the hand used for most of the punching about to shake off the pain of having just managed to wind a man by punching chainmail.
"I am a master swordsman, Brigands. I will knock you all down..."
"Fair enough."
Blondie kicked this time.
There was a clang.
Blondie hopped away, as Steiner smirked.
"I also have the foresight to predict dishonourable foes..."
"Damn, you're smarter than you look." Marcus muttered.
"Him or me?" Blondie asked, still hopping.
"Him, obviously."
"Complimentary conduct will not spare you!" Steiner said, lunging. Blondie stopped hopping to parry.
A rod then smacked across the man's helmet, a loud echoing clang heralding the Captain's collapse.
"Steiner, that was not a compliment! And I order you to stand down!" Garnet demanded.
The airship then juddered, and slowly began to rise.
Blondie then realised something.
"Princess. Just a little thing, really, maybe not that important, but you wouldn't happen to know how many cannons might be at this side of the castle?"
"Just a few dozen, why?"
Blondie sighed.
"This is gonna suck..."
As if to prove the point, a cloud of smoke saw a harpoon shoot past on a long chain, slamming into the lower decks. Another then slammed into the deck between Garnet and Blondie, the two only just dodging.
"I knew it, it sucks!"
"Thank you, General Obvious." Marcus added, granting Blondie a gargantuan promotion.
Worse, though, was that Steiner had stood up again. The man wasn't a quitter, at least.
"Your ship cannot escape. Surrender, and your deaths will be merciful."
"Even hers?" Blondie asked.
"What... We will not kill the Princess you hare brained fool!"
"Um... Why are you shooting at the ship she's on then?" Vivi pondered.
Garnet pondered this.
"...Steiner, he does have a point there."
Another cannon then fired, and Blondie once again really wanted to swear.
"Vivi, I think the simple answer is that the Alexandrians have no idea what collateral damage is."
"...Collateral what?" Steiner frowned.
"Thanks for proving my point."
The shot from the other cannon, however, was not a harpoon, but instead, a floating ball of fire. A monster known as a Bomb, because it was, well, a bomb. It would swell, and explode.
And it was just proving Blondie to be right even more.
"Yeah. No thanks for proving all my points." Came the moan as the bomb hovered behind Steiner.
"Steiner, look out behind you!" Garnet began, and Blondie sighed.
"He's not going to believe us. He thinks it's a trick. He'll just ignore behind him, no matter what we say."
This confused Steiner. He indeed did look behind himself.
'Wow, score one for reverse psychology... I think.'
The knight gasped.
He swung his blade.
This merely annoyed the Bomb. And it had quite an explosive temperament.
'Or not...' Blondie realised, as the world went white.
Brahne whooped with joy as the Prima Vista was hidden in the cloud of smoke.
"A direct hit!"
Beatrix meanwhile had been staring in shock at the whole display. She thought that perhaps the Queen had not thought this one through.
"Your Majesty... What of the casualties?" She blurted.
"Hmm? Oh, yes. Take your troops into the city, help any of the injured citizens and all the usual stuff."
"Your Majesty, I mean..."
Beatrix was cut off by a roar of rage from the Queen. The ship had in fact been freed from the harpoons entirely, and now floated away. Ablaze, covered in holes, and generally looking more like a flying crash than an actual airship, but still airborne.
"That was an order, Beatrix. And send in Thorn and Zorn..."
"...The Jesters?"
Brahne nodded.
"Some humour would be well advised at the moment, don't you think?"
Beatrix saluted, and kept her own opinions on the twin jesters to herself. She eyed the stricken airship as it floated beyond the city limits.
She was no Air Force officer, nor a Naval hand, but even she could see it would not go far. Perhaps once the injured in the city had been dealt with, Beatrix could lead a group to the wreck.
Assuming, of course, it didn't go down into the mist.
"We're gonna crash!"
This was rarely a good thing to hear. When it was heard being screamed from the engine room, over the sounds of the engines that themselves were making a fair bit more noise than normal as a result of being on fire, it was a very bad thing.
Blondie really, really, wanted to swear, as the Airship began juddering and jerking.
Marcus had managed to drop down into the room below, and Vivi was clinging on tightly. Steiner seemed to be out cold, and caught up in some ropes, but Garnet...
Garnet was skittering across the deck, and about to fall off.
Blondie had one chance, and made the leap of faith. The Princess reached out her hand, and the two managed to connect, and Garnet's impending fall was cancelled.
'Yes! Made it!'
Blondie's elation was short lived, for it soon became apparent that in the effort to jump and grab the falling princess, there had been an under-estimation of the gravity in the situation. All that had occurred was a delay in the whole "falling off the ship" thing. Blondie scrabbled for a handhold as it emerged the reason the Princess had slipped was thanks to the fact there was no handhold at all here.
As this all became clear, Blondie no longer cared that ladies were present.
The two went over the side.
Mikoto swore, and swore so loud she hoped her idiot brother who had gotten his dumb ass arrested in Treno would hear it. And assuming she survived she was going to kill him. This was supposed to have been his job...