The Years We've Lost

Part One.

-By Drace Domino

Kya had hoped to get out of the ceremony before the heartache set in. It had been the very thing that kept her out of Republic City throughout Kuvira's rise to power; the knowledge that President Raiko had met with the Fire Nation meant for sure that she would be there. The woman that broke Kya's heart, and the woman she had never recovered from. Kya's cowardice had served her well as she remained on the sidelines during the Great Uniter's rise, and she had spent her time helping to heal wounds on the outskirts while always avoiding the city proper. Best to stay on the side and be a coward then step foot in the city and be immediately broken and disarmed. One look was all it would take; one glance in her direction. And whether the woman she used to love offered her a smile or a frown, the daughter of Avatar Aang knew that she would be inconsolable in the evening after.

Unfortunately, though she had managed to protect herself during the rise and fall of Kuvira, some responsibilities were impossible to ignore. In the weeks after Kuvira's arrest and the people of Republic City strove to move on with their lives, it had been decided that the city would hold a ceremony in honor of Avatar Korra. An Avatar that had seen great adversity and always managed to persevere, a young woman of strength, integrity, and honor. Republic City had been both Korra's friend and foe during her long journey, and now it sought to let the world know that it would be eternally grateful for all she had done. The rumors were that everyone would be attending; leaders from all the nations. And as the daughter of the past Avatar and Korra's friend on top, Kya had no choice but to attend.

Guilt had ebbed at her while she sat in her seat near the very front, waiting for the ceremony to begin. Deep down, she knew that her desire to not be there wasn't right. She wanted to flee, to make a break for it and avoid running into her old flame who would almost certainly attend. Doing so would be a great disservice to Korra, and exhibited an astonishing display of backbone for a woman raised by the great Avatar Aang. Still...there was little she could do to quell her fear, to hide her heart as the moments passed.

A nearby hand dropped on Kya's knee, and she turned her head to see the friendly features of her brother, Bumi. With his typical crazed, shaggy hair and smile slightly too large for his face, he tightened his grip upon his sister's knee and spoke to her in a low and careful voice. Though so often dismissed by his younger brother as being reckless and too carefree, there was a side to him that typically only appeared under concern for his sister.

"You doing alright, sis?" He asked, a brow arched and a glimmer of knowing concern in his eyes. Kya responded with a slow, deep breath, and she folded her hands into her lap as she thought about the question. She had dressed that day in elegant ceremonial robes rich in the Southern Water Tribe tradition; long and graceful tones of blue that left exposed her shoulders in sweeping curves. Her hair had been pulled back save for a few locks hanging off to the side, and though there were marks of age underneath her eyes she carried the same plain, simple beauty that she had always held as a hallmark of her life.

"Thank you, Bumi, yes." She lied to her brother, for fear of making him worry. The racing in her heart was setting goosebumps to her arms, but she had many years to work on her brave face when the idea of seeing her old love again. "If she...if she shows up, I'll be fine."

"Just let me know if you need a distraction." Bumi murmured with the coy, plotting tone that kept him so young at heart. A wide grin spread on his lips, and he gestured towards a man with a similar wild look several rows down. "I think me and that Varrick guy could come up with something great!"

Kya just laughed, and pinched the bridge of her nose with a smile. When she nodded her thanks to Bumi she held a hand to her brother's shoulder, and offered him again her bravest smile.

Then, her eyes turned back to the stage everyone was seated before. She could do this. After all...the woman she was afraid of might not actually show. She was busy, after all. And maybe the ceremony thanking Avatar Korra wasn't a big enough deal for her to-

"There she is! Wow, I've never seen her before!" It was a random civilian's voice that broke through Kya's senses, and instantly made her heart tighten. Of course, the civilian didn't know the woman in question as the one that Kya was afraid of. She didn't know her as the love of Kya's life, nor as the woman that broke her heart. She wasn't known as the shy, smart girl that was once charmed by the comforting gaze of a Water Tribe healer, nor was she known as the woman that had pressed feather-soft kisses down the slope of Kya's throat in the sands of Ember Island.

The people simply knew her as Firelord Izumi.

Kya's throat tightened, and she turned to gaze in the direction of all the commotion, only to feel her heart instantly cinch up. Years of putting the events of the past behind her now seemed utterly wasted, as one glance in the distance ripped open old wounds and made the healer instantly ache. Crowned with the symbol of the Fire Lord perched upon her dark yet graying hair, clever eyes framed by the same glasses Kya had stared through years and years ago. She looked sterner now than she did; colder and more difficult to read. Whether or not the years had been good to her Kya couldn't say, but the woman she saw now looked harder to read and strengthened through the responsibility of her post. She was stronger than Kya remembered; no longer the shy and sweet young woman that would blush at the promise of a kiss or giggle at a teasing whisper.

She was still beautiful, though. She had always been beautiful.

Kya took a steadying breath, and not even the comforting feel of Bumi's hand on her knee was able to stop her from staring. She watched as Fire Lord Izumi worked her way across the front line of seats, waving to some of the civilians that had attended the ceremony, and even pausing to have words with President Raiko and Asami Sato, both seated in the very front row. Kya stared ahead with wide eyes and a growing ache within her, unsure of what would be worse: if Izumi looked at her and their eyes met, or if she didn't even notice her at all.

When Izumi's head lifted, she had her answer. For a moment Izumi's brow lifted from behind the edge of her glasses, and she peered ahead in the distance as if studying the silver-haired water bender that sat a few rows back. Years had passed, but after a moment's time the sharp eyes of the Fire Lord took in her old love's image and a tiny smile slipped upon her lips. Kya trembled and froze; her brother's hand on her knee now utterly forgotten under the steeled gaze of the Fire Lord. With her heart racing and her muscles tight, she was left wondering just what the reaction would be. Would Izumi move to speak to her? To apologize for the past, to extend her a hand of friendship? If she did, what would she say? How could Kya respond? She wasn't even entirely sure she could talk in that moment; her throat gone dry and her head spinning from the mere sight of her.

As luck would have it, Izumi seemed willing to afford her no more than a simple nod of her head in that moment. With the tiny smile pressed to her stern features she tipped forward slightly, politely, and then moved to quickly take her seat. And in doing so, Kya was left feeling empty inside. After years of wondering and regret, she wasn't entirely sure just what she had expected, but it was certainly more than what she ended up receiving. With her throat tight she forced her gaze towards the stage, and watched as Tenzin began to move forward before the crowd. The ceremony was going to begin soon, and Kya was thankful for it.

She could at least convince the others that her tears were for Korra, and that they stemmed from the great pride she felt in the young woman. No one had to know that they were utterly, entirely selfish.

It was later that evening after a lovely ceremony that Kya found herself in the rear courtyard of Air Temple Island, looking over the distance scene of the new Spirit gate's pillar of light soaring high into the sky. It had a magnificent beauty that was staggering in its scale and meaning, and it was a serene, peaceful place for her to ponder the turbulent events of the past day. Still wearing her traditional Water Tribe ceremonial dress, Kya was seated on a pair of steps; her legs folded half-underneath her. With her arms tucked just underneath the line of her modest bust, she was comfortable and warm, though with emotions rolling in aching waves throughout her.

The ceremony had been pleasant, and she was able to push aside her heartbreak long enough to celebrate for Korra. As everyone in the city cheered for the woman that was their hero a dozen times over, she stood with Bumi as they tried to make their voices heard over all the other thousands of people. When Asami rushed the stage to embrace her friend with tears in her eyes, Kya rejoiced for the two women that were so clearly in love. Though such young, glorious emotion didn't always work out for everyone, it did the old healer well to see it thriving in two people she cared so fondly for. The "lie" of her tears only lasted for a few moments; for once Korra started her speech to talk about all that had happened, her tears really were from pride. Pride for the woman that hosted her father's spirit, and pride for her brother that had trained her so well. Korra was family to them, and seeing her be appreciated made Kya's heart soar.

When the ceremony ended she was quick to leave; not wanting to sully the joy she felt for Korra by being forced to even look at Izumi. After a forceful hand in making Bumi stay and enjoy the festivities, Kya retreated to Air Temple Island where she now sat in quiet observance over the past few hours. The tears were gone, ands he had worked to make peace with what had happened and what she had seen. Izumi had indeed been beautiful earlier, and in one simple glance emotions swelled within her that she wished she could deny existed. Unfortunately they would always be there, and seeing the Fire Lord would always make her ache with the sorrow of a young woman who watched her supposed soul mate walk away from her.

But...that was all right. No one ever said things always worked out, and a single broken heart was nothing compared to the good she had done as a single healer carrying on the legacy of her father's kindness. Even Izumi, as magnificent as she had ever been, was leading her people to a point of prosperity, joy, and peace. Their lives had gone separate ways, but the world was better because of it.

And if she could only convince herself of that deep in her heart, it would likely stop aching. With a small, grim smile Kya gazed towards the distance Spirit Gate, studying its radiance as it lifted high up into the heavens. With a small smile on her lips she set her feet against the stairs, and spoke the first word she had said in hours.

"...beautiful." She whispered, her tone light and her voice gentle, sweet, and sacred. Meant only for herself, it came as a staggering shock to Kya when she heard a voice chase her own. Chilling in its familiarity, and terrifying in its presence.

"She is. But she ran away before I could say hello to her."

With her heart racing and fear in her eyes, Kya slowly turned to glance over her shoulder. She swallowed, choking back the instant rush of emotion and locking her knees to prevent her immediate desire to run. Izumi simply gazed down at Kya from her place standing behind her, and a gentle hand gestured towards the woman she once called her own.

"Would she let me sit with her now?" She asked, gazing at Kya through the lenses of her glasses. "...I've missed her terribly, and want to share in her presence again."

The Fire Lord had always been equal parts charming and terrifying in how completely she could control Kya's heart.

To be continued.