Being friends with Alison was the thing that got her into trouble. Or so Spencer would say. It's not Alison's fault the younger of the Hasting daughters finds herself kissing more than half the men she ends up meeting. It's not impossible to see why Melissa holds so much against her. Considering she doesn't feel as bad as she probably should. That's an entirely different issue she'd need five more years of therapy to deal with, and she's far too happy just letting that sit in the back of her mind.
Alison didn't exactly push her towards Ian either. She did that all on her own.
Ian isn't even her first. Not the first guy she's attracted to and not the first guy she finds herself kissing without thinking twice about it. Simply letting her body melt into his before some kind of alarm goes off in her head.
He is, however, the first guy to slip his hand between her legs and make her body feel as if it was on fire, and she's only slightly embarrassed when she retreats to her bedroom and finds herself on the edge of completely soaked. She only hates herself a little when she wonders what his fingers could have done.
She hates herself a little more when she dreams of him and wakes up in a sweat desperate for something, but never getting anything. She's enough of a mess without letting Ian Thomas have his way with her. No matter the dreams get more and more frequent, and she can't help herself when she's trying to study and she can see him from outside of her window.
Those thoughts disappear the day Ali disappears.
She goes back to the life she had before everything became such a mess. She sees the way her parents seem relieved, like she wasn't going to do anything stupid. They watch her too closely and she knows why. Maybe if she was born first things wouldn't have been so complicated. That's a pipe dream.
Even when Ian shows up back into their lives it's as if she is the crazy one with some kind of vendetta. She half wonders if Aria's parents want another daughter. Not as if her parents would actually miss her. Why miss Spencer who just causes a million problems when they can have Melissa, the perfect daughter whose only crime is eloping with Ian?
After Ian tries to kill her things change. She can't help the way she throws on up on the grass of the church the minute her friends bring her down and the cops arrive. She tills wonders if Aria's parents want another daughter. Only not as often. She burns anything she wore in the presence of Ian.
It's only in Toby's arms that she feels content. It's all Spencer can wish for now that things are more complicated than before. She's not trying to be killed by her sister's husband, but she feels gutted every time she looks at Melissa. For all their problems she does love her sister, and is pretty sympathetic to the creep she married.
When they find his body it's almost as if the nightmare is over.
Someone should have told her nightmares that.