if there was one thing she knew here that was a constant, it was struggle
the struggle to stay afloat—but only in this place
it was a strange color, and it made her feel sick, if she could let herself think for the slightest moment
it was all she could see—
it was green; not like earth's grasses or even the one that was blasted everywhere with peridot's ship
(she shouldn't be thinking right now! if she let jasper have even a second of control...)
it was blue; not like the oceans she loved or even her own skin—this color threw itself all over everything, and she couldn't remember what anything else looked like
all she knew was struggle
she hated to think of her... life back in that putrid mirror, to be doing nothing
and wanting desperately to escape...
but here? all she could do was fight, or risk losing herself
it would only be as simple as a fire goes out: one moment there, the next...
(don't think about anything you don't have anything to think about don't let her win you are in control DO NOT THINK)
the day she gave up control was the day she hated everything he did for her
if he hadn't she would be in control
if he didn't resist she at least would be home
if he hadn't acted as a friend she wouldn't even leave home
if he hadn't freed her life would continue
if she hadn't put her in the mirror SHE WOULD BE FREE
"I'm not Lapis anymore..." she stood up. "We're Malachite now."
we are in control