A/N Hello once again people of fanfic .net. I am your hosting writer Sir Lofty. What you see before you is my first contribution to the Vampire Knight archives and my first KaZe. How exciting… alrighty then please remember to leave any questions, comments, concern, complaints, and or compliments in the reviews. Flames are acceptable and will be used to fuel the furnace in which I forge new and better fanfics.
This story is based off of the classic Three Days Grace song, I Hate Everything About You and is basically a list of what Zero and Kaname hate (/love) about each other. There is no significance in choosing 7 things for each of them, 7 is just my favorite number. I would like to dedicate this to one of my favorite writers on this site, YenGirl and her amazing KaZe works. Luv ya sempai!
Now without further ramblings I present to you…
I Hate Everything About You
(Zero's POV)
Things had gotten bad when Shizuka came here under the guise of Maria Kurenai, but it got even worse when Yuuki got it into her head that she needed to protect me and Kuran from the pureblood bitch. In short, Shizuka killed Yuuki, and Kaname killed Shizuka that night. I suppose saying things got worse is a bit of an understatement.
I often wonder how I'm able to go on living with the knowledge that she died because of me. It's been over a year since then and things have changed drastically in that time. 9 months ago I attempted to kill myself. Cross had already confiscated my gun for fear of that very thing so I slit my wrists instead. I woke up in Kaname Kuran's bedroom the next day and he's been providing blood to me ever since. When I asked why he said something about keeping a promise to Yuuki or some crap like that. But I don't believe that son of a bitch for a second, I hate him.
1. Arrogant
That damn pureblood, he knows that he's far more powerful than anyone else, than me. I swear to god that he pisses me off on purpose just so I try something. Then he makes a point of showing me just how weak I am compared to him.
2. Fake
I hate the way he acts so sweet and charming for everyone. He pretends to be a gentleman, putting on that phony smile of his. But I know better, it's a mask, he's a monster. Not that I'm much better but at least I don't trick people into thinking I'm something worth respecting.
3. Controlling
Purebloods are manipulative by nature. You can never tell what kind of crazy shit they're planning or what they'll do to make sure thing go their way. Kaname is no different. It's like I said before I don't trust the reason he gave me when I asked why he saved me. He keeps me around and gives me blood for himself, not Yuuki.
4. Possessive
He never hesitates to remind me that it's because of him that I'm alive. Treating me like I owe him something. It's not like I asked Kaname to save me. And I sure as hell don't wanna be looked at like I'm his servant. Those spoiled Night Class vampires see me as his property now, they don't like it, but it's because of him that the brats don't fuck with me, damn him.
5. Smile
I really hate when he smiles. He's got a few different ones. The sickly sweet one that he gives everyone, the smug condescending one that he shows me constantly, and the sad gentle one that he used to give to Yuuki. But now, whenever I take blood from him, that's the smile he shows me. I hate the way my breath hitches and my heart flutters. I hate that I ache to see it.
6. Gentle
I remember when I used to take blood from Yuuki. I would cling to her desperately, while she could only try to relax. It doesn't take a genius to know that drinking from Kaname would be different, but it's different in a way I wouldn't expect. I try to have as little contact as possible when I take from him, though the sheer intimacy of the act makes that near impossible. Especially since Kaname insists on holding me the whole freakin' time. And it's not like I can really fight him when my teeth are in his throat! He puts his arms around me and presses my head closer to him. I hate it.
7. Love
There is one thing that he does that I hate more than anything. It started about 3 months ago. That was the night I attacked him.
You see a few weeks prior, I had made it a point to avoid his ass, and in all that time, I hadn't had a single drop of blood. Kaname ended up finding me holed up in my room fighting off a bad bought of bloodlust. Unsurprisingly we fought, he won, and I ended up shooting him in the side. My body recognized the scent of his blood. I jumped at him like the starved animal I was. But I would rather he put me down like a mad dog than live through what happened next.
When I finally came back to my senses the guilt was overwhelming. I may have despised that bastard Kuran, but none deserved to be attacked like that. I apologized and totally ready for him to kill me, but he only held me. Then he pulled away, smiled and said
"It's alright Zero, I still love you" I couldn't bring myself to react, and I hated how part of me wanted to. How I was filled with the sudden desire to hold him back, to kiss him. And now every time I drink from him Kaname says I love you. I don't understand how, but I can tell he's not lying. He actually loves me, why don't I hate him more for it?
(Kaname's POV)
Everyone assumed from the beginning I was in love with Yuuki. I did love her, but she only occupied my heart, it belonged to someone else entirely. Yes, it was Zero Kiryu who I was truly in love with. His story had touched my heart the moment I heard it. The horrible things he had gone through made me feel sympathy for the young Kiryu before I had even met him. Our initial meeting only furthered the ache I felt regarding his situation. I knew what it was like to be alone, with nothing but guilt and self-loathing to occupy your thoughts. As the years went on, empathy turned to attraction, which eventually became the love I have for him now. Yuuki knew. She was always perceptive when it came to my feelings, even as a child. Her death was shattering to me, but on her dying breath she made me promise that I would one day tell Zero how I felt about him.
But unfortunately the easily passionate love I felt for him became twisted by his words and judgemental attitude toward vampires, it's true I hate Zero Kiryu.
1. Pride
Zero was raised a proud hunter, thinking that all vampires were horrifying beasts. Those thoughts were confirmed with the brutal murder of his parents. But Zero never could fully admit the loss of his humanity and likes to pretend he's still a vampire hunter and not one of us. He's such a foolish child.
2. Temper
I've never met any hunter that didn't have a short fuse with vampires, with the exception of Kaien, but I hardly think he counts. That stupid boy is an inch away from unleashing his anger at all times. But he doesn't. He harbors all of his pent up anger and frustration and takes it out on me.
3. Harsh
As his outlet for anger I experience his anger in different forms. Sometimes in the constant arguments we have, other times in our rare physical confrontations, but mostly he chooses to translate his rage when he takes blood from me. And the sheer fact that he needs the blood, only adds fuel to the fire. He bites down hard and deep, hoping to cause me as much pain as he can. I can handle it, but it's extremely annoying.
4. Ungrateful
For 9 months I have been given my blood and kept him alive, and yet he still acts as though I am at fault for all of his misery. I wish that brat would realize that nothing will be fixed by killing himself. Suicide is cowardly and doesn't suit him. He needs to be more appreciative. I wonder how he would react if he were to find out that he is the only being to ever drink my blood?
5. Stubborn
I understand his longing to be human once again, but I hate how even after a year of consuming blood that stupid boy still cannot accept the fact that he needs it. But no, he waits until he's on the very edge of his sanity. He starves himself until he is in absolute agony. I hate that he's too damn stubborn to come see me on his own. Doesn't he understand that I only want to help him.
6. Kind
I've known from the start that Zero Kiryu was very kind. It was something in his eyes, in his voice, that despite his bitter attitude and hateful demeanor he possessed a very large heart. One that had been broken, shattered even. It is my dearest wish for him to show me his true self, but I know that I will only ever warrant his hatred. Hatred that I am fully prepared to return, in full force if need be.
7. Love
I have known for many years that the opposite of hatred is not love. In fact the two are related, both concern strong feelings of passion. The opposite of love is apathy, and I know that as long as I live I will never stop caring for Zero, nor will I ever stop trying to help him. He hates me, he's made that extremely apparent. This is something that I've also known for a number of years. And yet every time he tells me so, I am still filled with a biting pain. Truth be told I wish I didn't love him, I wish that I could have let him carry out his suicide, but damn that insufferable former human, I just couldn't. Ever since Yuuki's death Zero has been my only reason for living, I hate how much I need him, how much I love him.
And I hate that every time I tell him he looks away and acts as if I hadn't spoken. I hate how I have to fight off my desire to kiss him, to complete the blood bond that screams for me to sink my fangs into his pale tattooed neck. I hate him.
(No one's POV)
The room was silent now save for the sound of Zero swallowing large mouthfuls of Kaname's blood. The dorm president slid his arms around the former human and glanced around the mess they made. He and Zero had had another fight, nothing new but the pureblood was growing tired of hurting Zero just to get him to take what was offered so freely. The silver haired teen trembled as he felt the power emanating from the blood sliding down his throat. Kaname responded by holding him more securely. Zero growled and withdrew his fangs.
Kaname smiled "Feel better?"
"Fuck you Kuran" Zero spat, he stood quickly, not wanting to hear him say it again. Kaname, figuring out Zero's plan, grabbed his forearm in a firm grip. Zero frowned "Let me go"
Kaname sighed and looked away "I love you Zero" he whispered quietly. And as if on cue the Level D stiffened. Kaname once again felt his chest tighten, but his expression did little to betray him. He let go of his arm and moved to go sit on his bed. He prepared himself to watch the beautiful hunter leave in silent anger as always, but Zero merely stood still, his hard gaze glued to the floor.
"Why" he asked "Why do you always say that?" Kaname was inwardly surprised, this was different, Zero never acknowledged his words. Kaname fought to quash the rising hope swelling within him.
"Why else" he responded smoothly.
"Don't give me that shit Kuran! I'm tired of all your fucking mind games!" Zero snapped .
Kaname inclined his head "I'm not sure how much clearer I can be, but then again you've always been rather dense about these sort of things."
"What the hell are you talking about?! Just answer my question!"
The brunet stood and walked over to him "I say it because I mean it." Zero turned to him and glared "Surely you can taste it in my blood." The pureblood continued "I've loved you for a very long time."
Zero's eyes widened, he was right. The blood that had been sustaining his sanity for nearly a year was filled with desire and longing, for him. But it was also filled with pain… and fear. A fear of being rejected a fear of once again being left alone. In this moment Zero realized that no matter how much he refused to believe it, no matter how long he denied it, it wouldn't change the fact that he was sincere. Kaname Kuran… loved him. The silverette's heart began to pound violently in his chest, and he was sure the other vampire could hear it. The pureblood leaned in closer, Zero backed away, but was stopped when his back made contact with the wall. Kaname had him trapped.
"So now that you know my true feelings, what will you do?" Zero's breath hitched as he saw a pained expression flicker across Kaname's graceful features. He looked so vulnerable, it was as if Zero were staring straight into his soul. A shudder passed through him and again Kaname sighed "I'm not asking you to return my feelings Zero. Actually, if you ask me to, I will leave you alone from now on. I have grown tired of this. I'm not going to force you anymore. I kept my promise, so if want my blood, I will give it, if you want to kill yourself, I won't stop you." He grabbed the boy's chin, surprisingly Zero didn't struggle. "I want only one thing before I give back control of your life."
The vampire hunter's glare returned "You see! I knew that you were only –mmph" Zero had started to say, but Kaname closed the space between them and covered the shorter teen's mouth with his own, effectively cutting off his words. The silver haired boy attempted to turn his head and break the kiss, but the grip Kaname had on his chin prevented him from doing so. The brunet used his free hand to push his captive further into the wall and forced his tongue past Zero's not so unwilling lips.
The former human put his hands against the other's chest, at first to push him off, but as the pureblood deepened the kiss, his long pale fingers began to twist Kaname's shirt in a fierce grip. Zero kissed back. Kaname hesitated, Zero took advantage of his momentary shock and took control of the kiss. Kaname relaxed into Zero's ministrations, but decided, reluctantly to pull away. The two of them stood quiet for a moment, before Kaname finally let him go and stood up straight again. "There, that's all I wanted. I'm sorry for any pain I may have caused you, but it's like I said, I kept my promise, I've done all I can."
"What promise?" Zero asked quietly confused.
"The one I made o Yuuki before she died. I swore to her that I would tell you how I felt, and I have." Zero furrowed his delicate siver brows, his confusion deepening. That was all he wanted! After all this time he really had just loved him? Him? The vampire hunter-turned vampire that belonged in neither worlds and loathed all purebloods?
The stubborn teen's stomach fluttered with uneasiness as the majestic vampire stood with his back to him. "You still haven't gone?" the dorm president asked.
"Did you want me to?"
"No, every day I have to restrain myself against the urge to keep you by my side always"
Zero shut his eyes tightly 'Just once more' he thought to himself 'Just once more and I'll know for sure' he rushed up to Kaname, turned him around, and reconnected their lips in an urgent, almost desperate kiss.
I hate everything about you, why do I love you?
You hate everything about me, why do you love me?
A/N I hope I made you proud YenGirl-sempai! And look Cherry-chan, I killed off Yuuki! Not that I particularly enjoyed it, but maybe that made the story more appealing to you.